LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

whatismyname

Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to hijack the thread, but I really appreciate the support.

Also, I feel a bit of a hypocrite, as my primary issue isn't depression. It's only been recently that I have been thinking that I may have depression again also, but even if I do, it's more of a secondary issue, and the issues I have are more to do with a trauma disorder that I have due to childhood stuff. I just needed to express how I was feeling tonight, and hope it was ok that I posted on here. Genuinely thank you for the support.

bridgettedon

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I once enquired about a change in meds. He skimmed my file and said that I had tried half a dozen with the previous psych and then sorta did a "I dunno!" shoulder gesture. :rolleyes:

I won't name any meds here, but I know of at least another dozen medications that are popularly used for depression and anxiety, that I've never been on. Now I don't claim to be an expert on any of this, far from it! But surely I'm not a write-off just yet!

A common issue for me is anxiety in a stressful workplace. I was once told by a junior doctor "Oh, maybe you should just give up working then". I honestly didn't detect any sarcasm or anything in her voice.

My gp was missing one day but I saw another doctor. Now to be fair I do have a lot of anxiety caused by work both in the past and at that time. The doctor questioned that maybe I should give up work as it caused a lot of problems for me. I was so upset but I knew that my regular gp wouldn't agree. When I told my gp what the other doctor has said she disagreed with that entirely. It would be such a huge step backwards for me. It seems some want to deal with the issue by getting us to avoid it rather than providing support to help us overcome it.

whatismyname

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I was once told by a junior doctor "Oh, maybe you should just give up working then". I honestly didn't detect any sarcasm or anything in her voice.

Might be just my interpretation, but that comment seems, to me, to lack any real empathy or insight on their part.

bridgettedon

whatismyname wrote: »

Thanks

What day is your appointment? I hope it goes ok.

And how I was treated by the psych is only a fraction of it. Unfortunately.

And it's less about who knows who might be reading here, for me, but more just not letting it overwhelm me. The emotional intensity can get triggered and can completely overwhelm me, and it's about trying to process and manage this stuff without letting it completely take over, you know?

Tuesday. I get what you are saying. It's so easy for things to overwhelm me as well. It's key to stop those thoughts in their tracks before they can take over.

Also this is a support thread to help people regardless of the reasons why they may post.

whatismyname

bridgettedon wrote: »

Tuesday. I get what you are saying. It's so easy for things to overwhelm me as well. It's key to stop those thoughts in their tracks before they can take over.

Also this is a support thread to help people regardless of the reasons why they may post.

Thanks

Hope you sleep well, take care.

colossus-x

whatismyname wrote: »

Just wanted to say that I didn't mean to hijack the thread, but I really appreciate the support.

Also, I feel a bit of a hypocrite, as my primary issue isn't depression. It's only been recently that I have been thinking that I may have depression again also, but even if I do, it's more of a secondary issue, and the issues I have are more to do with a trauma disorder that I have due to childhood stuff. I just needed to express how I was feeling tonight, and hope it was ok that I posted on here. Genuinely thank you for the support.

Wow that's interesting. I'm in the same boat. I have so many issues from my childhood. I think I'd have a much better life if I didn't have those thoughts.

whatismyname

colossus-x wrote: »

Wow that's interesting. I'm in the same boat. I have so many issues from my childhood. I think I'd have a much better life if I didn't have those thoughts.

Yes. There's a lot of evidence to show that childhood trauma issues lie behind a large proportion of mental health problems, but from my experience, and that of so many others, the medical model of mental health isn't really designed or equipped to often enough respond appropriately to the long term effects of childhood trauma on people's mental health.

whatismyname

Since I was posting about childhood trauma, I remembered this really good Ted Talk video that is very relevant to depression, and thought I'd share. I wish so much there was more understanding and recognition of this.

brokensoul84

If your faith/trust in your psych team is broken its hard to progress imho.

I have tried talking to my psych but no avail.she recently prescribed meds i nearly died from taking a major od of so have little faith in her.
I have been turned away from psych wards after 2 serious attempts in one weekend in the past so doubt they will listen to me, if i am.just at planning/plotting stage.


Gp just refers me for either assessment to that psych ward or back to psych so no luck there .

I have 1 session left with my lovely counsellor then thats it. I trust her completely and dread having to form a new relationship with new counsellor.

Note:i am trying to change to new psych whom i could hopefully trust more but its a long drawn out process even to get referred to.private psych.

colossus-x

^^ My dad was an alco. He scared the living bejesus out of us all when he came back from the pub. He used to go on a 3-4 week binge. But then gave it up and was 'normal' for a few months. Then went back terrorising us when he went mental on the drink again.

I was just a teenager. Trying to cope with that. I don't know if that put me in the position I am In now I dunno.

whatismyname

colossus-x wrote: »

^^ My dad was an alco. He scared the living bejesus out of us all when he came back from the pub. He used to go on a 3-4 week binge. But then gave it up and was 'normal' for a few months. Then went back terrorising us when he went mental on the drink again.

I was just a teenager. Trying to cope with that. I don't know if that put me in the position I am In now I dunno.

colossus-x, that sounds really rough, I'm sorry.

I don't think any of us here would really be able to say whether it put you in the position you are in now, but it likely played some part, as our experiences when young shape the person we become.

It will have shaped you as a person in some way, and who knows, maybe even good ways as well as bad.

I'm sorry it happened though It sounds sh1t and you deserved so much better.

colossus-x

.

The One Doctor

I went to my doctor last week and asked for medication as I'd had thoughts of suicide the previous day. I had done some research and settled on the prescription version of St John's Wort. Will start taking it tomorrow and hopefully it'll do me the power of good.

Gleeso_Finglas

this is so painful to say but....a couple of days ago i posted a long post about how i was doing good and it gets better i had a lovely christmas but now i feel like a right feckin idiot.I woke up sunday morning and didnt feel quite like myself. all the irrational thoughts kept coming i took my meds, read a bit of my book and continued through the morning.

my stepson wanted to go play pool so i brought him and my mood lifted and anxiety subsided in the afternoon. Today i woke up for work (first day back since xmas eve) and boom that horrible unwell mentally feeling that only people here would understand.....my anxiety is through the roof. i cant focus on work so im having too much time to think and now my mind is racing and my nerves trembling is not subsiding even though i am on 4 types of meds.

things were really looking up for me i even went to the gym twice last week. but now it is back to the poxy drawing board. my goals and recovery plan i put in place seem impossible right now.

i just cant catch a decent break. i have now arranged for somewhere for my family to go to learn to cope with me as it is just too much for them especially my wife. my beautiful wife.

i start cbt on thursday to try and help to change how i think somewhat re-programme my thinking habits.People say that i need to face my demons head on!!!! im not afraid of my demons I HAVE accepted them and i know that the way im feeling isnt the real me but for fook sake the anxiety just wont go away. i cant wait to get home to my wife i if i know deep down that i have a good life and alot of people would swap with me anyday but i just cannot see or beat this.

sorry im just so fcuking frustrated with it all. medication, psych docs, hospitals its one big revolving door. I just hope that i wake up tomorrow and i feel different. That way i can start to look at the positives of starting cbt because right now it all seems like bo~~ox.

Surely a sprecial type of mri scan could detec as to what chemicals in your brIN LEVELS ARE DROPPING AND THAT WAY THEY COULD ACTUALLY GIVE YOU THE EFFECTIVE MEDICATION.

ONE CAN DREAM. I dont think ill post anymore on here because its all mostly pissy moany posts from me and the one positive one comes back to bite me in the ass.

You all seem like great wonderful people so keep fighting.

Thanks for giving me a place to vent folks. Keep Safe.

whatismyname

Posted a few days ago about a psychiatrist meeting tomorrow that was causing a lot of anxiety, as it's the first time I'll have had any mental health professionals since my hospital discharge a month ago, as I'm making myself not reach out, as interactions with them were triggering trauma reactions and episodes of distress.

And that I'd had serious episodes after the last three times I saw this psychiatrist, so I am going to be trying hard not to let that happen again, and to get through it and stay safe.

Just thought I'd share that I've just come off the phone to the Samaritans whom I was speaking about some of this stuff to, and she asked if I'd like someone from the Samaritans to phone me after the appointment.

When I get distressed, feeling so alone with it tends to escalate the distress a lot, so I was really pleased with her suggestion. I know it's not going to be somebody who knows me, but just knowing there'll be someone ringing me after the appointment who I can talk to is likely to be a very good focus for me, and will hopefully help me stay grounded.

Diamond Doll

whatismyname wrote: »

Just thought I'd share that I've just come off the phone to the Samaritans whom I was speaking about some of this stuff to, and she asked if I'd like someone from the Samaritans to phone me after the appointment.

When I get distressed, feeling so alone with it tends to escalate the distress a lot, so I was really pleased with her suggestion. I know it's not going to be somebody who knows me, but just knowing there'll be someone ringing me after the appointment who I can talk to is likely to be a very good focus for me, and will hopefully help me stay grounded.

I know I've said it before on this thread, but the Samaritans really are SO good. They are always there, and every person I've spoken to has been such a genuine, kind, caring person. Usually they don't give advice, sometimes they do (although they're not really meant to), but they always leave me feeling a bit more clear-headed and a bit less lonely. It's nice to know that someone cares about you. And they always, always encourage me to ring back whenever I want or need to.

(That sounds like I have them tormented with phone calls, I really don't! But they have been a great support to me recently.)

Mam of 4

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

this is so painful to say but....a couple of days ago i posted a long post about how i was doing good and it gets better i had a lovely christmas but now i feel like a right feckin idiot.I woke up sunday morning and didnt feel quite like myself. all the irrational thoughts kept coming i took my meds, read a bit of my book and continued through the morning.

my stepson wanted to go play pool so i brought him and my mood lifted and anxiety subsided in the afternoon. Today i woke up for work (first day back since xmas eve) and boom that horrible unwell mentally feeling that only people here would understand.....my anxiety is through the roof. i cant focus on work so im having too much time to think and now my mind is racing and my nerves trembling is not subsiding even though i am on 4 types of meds.

things were really looking up for me i even went to the gym twice last week. but now it is back to the poxy drawing board. my goals and recovery plan i put in place seem impossible right now.

i just cant catch a decent break. i have now arranged for somewhere for my family to go to learn to cope with me as it is just too much for them especially my wife. my beautiful wife.

i start cbt on thursday to try and help to change how i think somewhat re-programme my thinking habits.People say that i need to face my demons head on!!!! im not afraid of my demons I HAVE accepted them and i know that the way im feeling isnt the real me but for fook sake the anxiety just wont go away. i cant wait to get home to my wife i if i know deep down that i have a good life and alot of people would swap with me anyday but i just cannot see or beat this.

sorry im just so fcuking frustrated with it all. medication, psych docs, hospitals its one big revolving door. I just hope that i wake up tomorrow and i feel different. That way i can start to look at the positives of starting cbt because right now it all seems like bo~~ox.

Surely a sprecial type of mri scan could detec as to what chemicals in your brIN LEVELS ARE DROPPING AND THAT WAY THEY COULD ACTUALLY GIVE YOU THE EFFECTIVE MEDICATION.

ONE CAN DREAM. I dont think ill post anymore on here because its all mostly pissy moany posts from me and the one positive one comes back to bite me in the ass.

You all seem like great wonderful people so keep fighting.

Thanks for giving me a place to vent folks. Keep Safe.

I hope you don't stop posting , BUT if that's what you need to do at the moment for yourself , then do it . Your posts aren't pissy or moany , they are the reality of how things are for you . At This Moment.

That doesn't mean that's how things will always be though , hard and all as it may seem , never give up believing that one day things will get somewhat easier .

Please don't think I'm trying to advise you , I'm not , I'm always afraid of saying the wrong thing to someone . But your family , your wife , believe in you , keep fighting your fight as best you can .

Stay safe all .

DeVore

Gleeso, you know when your car is water logged and you turn the key and it doesnt start and just chugs a bit... and then it bursts into life a bit and then back to chugging and your like "come on, COME ONNN!". After the first burst of life when it goes back to chugging you don't get discouraged, you think "oh, thats a good sign... come on you little beauty!" ... think of it that way, you're coughing back to life. Don't stop turning the key now!

Gleeso_Finglas

The One Doctor wrote: »

I went to my doctor last week and asked for medication as I'd had thoughts of suicide the previous day. I had done some research and settled on the prescription version of St John's Wort. Will start taking it tomorrow and hopefully it'll do me the power of good.

any update on this?

Ally Dick

It has to be said, I think life is very hard if you are a man over the age of 30. Any kind of sympathy or softness from society seems to completely die away. No wonder so many men over this age are committing suicide. I just wish people would be nicer. I have several friends and acquaintances who are no longer with us. Nobody wanted to know. RIP

bridgettedon

Ally Dick wrote: »

It has to be said, I think life is very hard if you are a man over the age of 30. Any kind of sympathy or softness from society seems to completely die away. No wonder so many men over this age are committing suicide. I just wish people would be nicer. I have several friends and acquaintances who are no longer with us. Nobody wanted to know. RIP

Is there anything in particular that makes you think this?

Ally Dick

bridgettedon wrote: »

Is there anything in particular that makes you think this?

I'm seeing more and more of it the longer I live. I am not saying that this attitude is directed at me per se. I just feel that men are expected to man up, bite their lip and get on with it. The number of suicides that I know of is testament to that

p.s. when it comes to looking for a job over the age of 50, it's very hard to get one

bridgettedon

Ally Dick wrote: »

I'm seeing more and more of it the longer I live. I am not saying that this attitude is directed at me per se. I just feel that men are expected to man up, bite their lip and get on with it. The number of suicides that I know of is testament to that

That is interesting because I have felt that attitude from my family as well. I am female and under 30 btw. I can imagine that men could be held to a higher standard. There just needs to be more discussion about mental health. People are not getting help when they need it, some leave it too late. I know myself that I waited years to get help. I didn't realise there was something wrong, I thought I was just a horrible person.

Drumpot

bridgettedon wrote: »

That is interesting because I have felt that attitude from my family as well. I am female and under 30 btw. I can imagine that men could be held to a higher standard. There just needs to be more discussion about mental health. People are not getting help when they need it, some leave it too late. I know myself that I waited years to get help. I didn't realise there was something wrong, I thought I was just a horrible person.

I get the impression many people are oblivious to the sensitivity of others, particularly people with anxiety or depression. I believe I am , through genes or environment (or both), extremely sensitive to the world around me. I also believe most people struggle to empathize or understand why I might feel so exposed to the world.

A great example of this is when you see cartoons depicting people with obvious physical deformities/injuries. Then it compares it with people with mental illness being told to "pull themselves together" etc. Many people find it easier to empathize with something the can see. But if a person cannot see or experience something personally, in a way they can act like it doesnt exist.

This can isolate me and others because I feel like I am a burden and just making "a mountain out of a molehill". Afterall, its mostly in my head and then becoming a physical problem, right ? - "sure cant you just stop thinking like that, a bit of willpower is all you need"?!.

My feelings and reactions to the world are the most real things in my life. Nothing is more important and nothing effects me more.

They key, that I find difficult to practice, is to meditate and work on achieving inner peace/balance. This does not require any external validation from an unsympathetic world. It requires a change of thinking and an exercise of the mind that I am not familiar with. Part of it is therapy, part of it meditation and part of it putting new techniques into physical practice day to day. Keeping things in the day, one day at a time helps...

Gleeso_Finglas

how are we all doing?

DeVore

Computer blew its motherboard. Laptop blew its harddrive. Expensive wood working saw ripped itself literally to pieces. Gas-powered Water boiler packed up and cost me a freaky arm and a leg to replace (holy SH*T boilers are expensive!!!)

2016 can get in the sea so far...

Mentally treading water and keeping my head above water, so that's positive!

mickstupp

As above, keeping head (barely) above water. Trying desperately to cram for a language exam tomorrow. My short term memory is excellent in that respect, one of the very few things I'm ok with saying I'm good at. But am exhausted with almost three months of bad insomnia, so it's going far too slowly. I won't have it all done in time. So be it.

I get to a certain point in exam prep where I have to say to myself that when I walk into that exam, I will have done all that could possibly be done under the circumstances. Once you walk in there, you can't prepare any more, right? So, necessarily, what you do in that exam will be the best that you can do, under the circumstances, because you're not going to be able to do any better. No time left. So if I'm convincing myself that I'm going to do my best, and that I have done in the past... then it helps takes the regret out of slightly sub-par marks. I can be as happy with a 2.2 as with a 1st, because I can be sure that I did my best... under the circumstances.

But besides that, rumination continues to be the bane of my existence.

Do hope everyone else is alright though.

Ally Dick

mickstupp wrote: »

As above, keeping head (barely) above water. Trying desperately to cram for a language exam tomorrow. My short term memory is excellent in that respect, one of the very few things I'm ok with saying I'm good at. But am exhausted with almost three months of bad insomnia, so it's going far too slowly. I won't have it all done in time. So be it.

I get to a certain point in exam prep where I have to say to myself that when I walk into that exam, I will have done all that could possibly be done under the circumstances. Once you walk in there, you can't prepare any more, right? So, necessarily, what you do in that exam will be the best that you can do, under the circumstances, because you're not going to be able to do any better. No time left. So if I'm convincing myself that I'm going to do my best, and that I have done in the past... then it helps takes the regret out of slightly sub-par marks. I can be as happy with a 2.2 as with a 1st, because I can be sure that I did my best... under the circumstances.

But besides that, rumination continues to be the bane of my existence.

Do hope everyone else is alright though.

Very best of luck with your exam, and I hope you manage to get to sleep tonight too

Gleeso_Finglas

Devore that sucks horse balls man 2016 isn't pleasant so far.... But that's just temporary surely it can only pick up for you??

whatismyname

mickstupp wrote: »

As above, keeping head (barely) above water. Trying desperately to cram for a language exam tomorrow. My short term memory is excellent in that respect, one of the very few things I'm ok with saying I'm good at. But am exhausted with almost three months of bad insomnia, so it's going far too slowly. I won't have it all done in time. So be it.

I get to a certain point in exam prep where I have to say to myself that when I walk into that exam, I will have done all that could possibly be done under the circumstances. Once you walk in there, you can't prepare any more, right? So, necessarily, what you do in that exam will be the best that you can do, under the circumstances, because you're not going to be able to do any better. No time left. So if I'm convincing myself that I'm going to do my best, and that I have done in the past... then it helps takes the regret out of slightly sub-par marks. I can be as happy with a 2.2 as with a 1st, because I can be sure that I did my best... under the circumstances.

But besides that, rumination continues to be the bane of my existence.

Do hope everyone else is alright though.

Good luck with your exam, Mickstupp, and I like your thinking, and agree, that you'll have done your best either way