LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Give them time It's important to get it right.

Calibos

failinis wrote: »

? I was suspected celiac but biopsies say I am not, however I have horrible reactions of gluten so I was told I was non celiac gluten intolerant?
(I can't read if your post is saying how do people have that or that you are not mocking it, words online are not the best carrier of feelings).

I am sorry to hear about that as well Drumpot, some strong solid words as well.

The whole Gluten Free Fad'ism of recent years has been a double edged sword for Celiacs or those with genuine diagnosed Gluten Intolerance. On the one hand its meant many more gluten free products available to sufferers which is great. On the other hand its meant that anytime someone mentions Gluten intolerance, eyebrows are often raised and sometimes its assumed that person might be an insufferable Hipster. I'm jealous that you and your GP/medical team found the reason for your fatigue. I posted a week or to ago that I thought I had found my equivalent. Vitamin D deficiency. Been megadose supplementing for about 3 months now. I got more backlogged work done in a recent 3 week period than in the previous 3 years. Then the fatigue came back. So unlike you, I'm not 100% sure I've had my eureka moment just yet. However, I'm hoping that this isn't infact a return of fatigue but just natural aches and pains as my body recovers from more continuous exertion than its experienced in years. If I'm back raring to go in another week or two and get more work done than its looking good again for the VitD thing. If the fatigue stays I'll have to start looking for causes again.

Lady is a tramp

Yeah like I said. Mood changes. Unpredictable and violent swings.

Grand a couple of hours ago.

I'm not going to post anything potentially "triggering", but I'm far from grand now.

I rang St Pats, it was only the desk person I was talking to but she took the situation seriously and she'll be getting back to me. ASAP.

I wish people would just listen to me in the first place, I wish they'd have listened to me earlier and I'd be in a safe place now and not making a big f*cking gobsh*te drama queen of myself. Maybe I shouldn't be so reasonable and polite and humble when explaining myself. And then it wouldn't end up in crisis situations. Like right now.

I wish I wasn't this way.

Gremlinertia

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Yeah like I said. Mood changes. Unpredictable and violent swings.

Grand a couple of hours ago.

I'm not going to post anything potentially "triggering", but I'm far from grand now.

I rang St Pats, it was only the desk person I was talking to but she took the situation seriously and she'll be getting back to me. ASAP.

I wish people would just listen to me in the first place, I wish they'd have listened to me earlier and I'd be in a safe place now and not making a big f*cking gobsh*te drama queen of myself. Maybe I shouldn't be so reasonable and polite and humble when explaining myself. And then it wouldn't end up in crisis situations. Like right now.

I wish I wasn't this way.

It seems like it's a judgement call which isn't good enough when someone is in crisis, i guess a comprehensive checklist is difficult when symptoms/complaints can vary so widely.. I hope whoever you were talking to at the desk gets back to you soon.. Try to breathe deeply to keep anxiety under control (if that works for you at this stage)

Lady is a tramp

Yeah she said I'm not down for admission tomorrow or Sunday. So I guess Monday at the earliest. Seems soon, it's a f*cking eternity for me and I'm just terrified of myself until then. F*ck it.

Gremlinertia

I agree, it's a long time when you're in that state. Everything drags it's awful. Can you go to casualty tomorrow for a few hours? I doubt tonight is a good idea.. Oh I'm on a nightshift so for the most part I'll be on boards.. (ssh)

Lady is a tramp

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Yeah she said I'm not down for admission tomorrow or Sunday. So I guess Monday at the earliest. Seems soon, it's a f*cking eternity for me and I'm just terrified of myself until then. F*ck it.

I don't know the in's and out's of your past treatment Lady but have you been given any tools or resources that you can use at a time like this? I understand that you may be too anxious and scared to even think straight and that's ok.
Would lying on your back with your legs straight and simply concentrating on each breath help?

Lady is a tramp

Thanks Persepoly but my diagnosis is still up in the air, and no I've no tools, but I'll try that, thanks.

No I've rethought it all. These are the experts. I'm not. They've read my case history and everyone else's and they've triaged it that one of the beds available tomorrow goes to someone else and not me. I'm not going to interfere with that decision, I know nothing about anyone else's condition.

So I'll just wait my turn.

Mature, good decision. Just like I'm a grown-up or something.

I could go to A&E in the meantime if I needed to. I won't, but the option is there at least.

Be grand.

JackieBauer

I just think about licking womens bums the whole time. I am seriously regressing these past few weeks in terms of my mental health issues. My obssession with alcohol and sex is frankly, just exacerbating the situation tenfold. I feel constantly depressed. I keep repeating the same crazy patterns, I am totally at my wits end. How and ever, there IS hope

I could direct you to websites and give you a list of things to try but that would be irresponsible of me when I know so little about you and what you're going through.

Concentrating on your breath is simple and can help. All I can do is wish you well Lady.

Gremlinertia

Jackie, have you ever discussed this with a doctor?. Our thoughts are strange sometimes but with help the stress they cause can be lessened, as Perse pointed out with someone else that's as much as i could suggest as medical advice is completely against the charter.

failinis

Calibos wrote: »

The whole Gluten Free Fad'ism of recent years has been a double edged sword for Celiacs or those with genuine diagnosed Gluten Intolerance. On the one hand its meant many more gluten free products available to sufferers which is great. On the other hand its meant that anytime someone mentions Gluten intolerance, eyebrows are often raised and sometimes its assumed that person might be an insufferable Hipster. I'm jealous that you and your GP/medical team found the reason for your fatigue. I posted a week or to ago that I thought I had found my equivalent. Vitamin D deficiency. Been megadose supplementing for about 3 months now. I got more backlogged work done in a recent 3 week period than in the previous 3 years. Then the fatigue came back. So unlike you, I'm not 100% sure I've had my eureka moment just yet. However, I'm hoping that this isn't infact a return of fatigue but just natural aches and pains as my body recovers from more continuous exertion than its experienced in years. If I'm back raring to go in another week or two and get more work done than its looking good again for the VitD thing. If the fatigue stays I'll have to start looking for causes again.

Ah! I see what you mean now.
My fatigue and such has not left me (I have posted here before that I am waiting for some medical tests about all that and also seeing a dietician mid March) and I am just about able to keep up with Uni work. Wake up, shower, uni, dinner, bed. I feel so tired by 4 or 5pm I can barely make dinner at 6pm then end up either lying in bed awake or asleep.
I wish you luck in in finding what the hell is going on in your case

Yesterday I found out that a friend has gone blind (permanently) as he (and we) thought it was temporary, till the swelling went down and the drs could operate. He seen a different eye dr each time and they ended up saying yesterday that there is no chance of it returning.
I feel like a lot of things keep going wrong for me and loved ones/friends and I really don't think I can cope if something else ****e happens.
I can't afford to go fly over to see him -
My parents are in denial about how serious my medical symptoms are and what the outcomes might be once diagnosed so in particular my mum has not spoken to me since (normally she would call/message at least once a day).
I have messaged her innocently like "Hey how are you/how are your hrs at work" but no reply.
I don't know, its just I am abroad, no friends or family and she seems in denial over it all.

Gremlinertia

Have you people you are friends with wherever you are? I know energy levels don't allow for much interaction but having people there would be helpful i think. I work nightshifts but am lucky enough to know a few people doing odd hours also so i can meet up during the morning etc.

failinis

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Have you people you are friends with wherever you are? I know energy levels don't allow for much interaction but having people there would be helpful i think. I work nightshifts but am lucky enough to know a few people doing odd hours also so i can meet up during the morning etc.

No, I've not made any friends yet, (in Cornwall), and only a few acquaintances.
I have been invited out, but either I am very fatigued or in bad pain from other things so I always end up declining. I just gotta hold on in by myself for a bit.

Gremlinertia

I figured health would impact severely on socials in the evening. What about people on your course?. Lunch together or study or something? Not trying to push i just believe it's so important to have people to have even passing conversation with..

failinis

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I figured health would impact severely on socials in the evening. What about people on your course?. Lunch together or study or something? Not trying to push i just believe it's so important to have people to have even passing conversation with..

With the few acquaintances I have, I suggested we go out for lunch (no where expensive, even just subway) as it was my birthday just past they were a bit too busy which is fair enough. Most times its "oh no I was too hung over" so I can't really meet up like that.
I have lasted long enough without anyone "there" but I know I am under intense stress right now.

Edit: I see a GP on Friday to ask for help about how anxious/stressed I am over the possible illnesses and all that but he was everything but helpful.
I asked for help with stress/anxious/bas sleep and he said he did not want to give me pills for it as it may impact on my stomach which is sensitive right now.
Then I say what about a councillor, but by the time I see one the tests will have been done.

Gremlinertia

Is there a support in your college? Usually there is, failing that is there a lecturer you feel you could talk to?. I'm asking a lot of questions, sorry.

failinis

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Is there a support in your college? Usually there is, failing that is there a lecturer you feel you could talk to?. I'm asking a lot of questions, sorry.

You don't know the situation so of course you will ask questions to get a good picture its okay.
Well I have two main tutors, I spoke to both on Friday. One said once I have the proof I will need to apply for extenuating circumstances and the other said about counsellors on the campus in the next town. I am phoning when they open again on Monday to ask to be on a waiting list for that. Seeing a lot of waiting lists.
The second tutor was a lot more emotionally there than the other, and said she would come to appointments with me if I need her to, I kindly refused.
However I want to keep a clear "student/tutor" kind of relationship so I don't feel like sharing anything else with them.

Gremlinertia

Hopefully you'll be seen quickly as what I can see from your situation here you would be up on the list of priorities.. Perhaps that tutor can vouch for your situation.

Gleeso_Finglas

failinis wrote: »

You don't know the situation so of course you will ask questions to get a good picture its okay.
Well I have two main tutors, I spoke to both on Friday. One said once I have the proof I will need to apply for extenuating circumstances and the other said about counsellors on the campus in the next town. I am phoning when they open again on Monday to ask to be on a waiting list for that. Seeing a lot of waiting lists.
The second tutor was a lot more emotionally there than the other, and said she would come to appointments with me if I need her to, I kindly refused.
However I want to keep a clear "student/tutor" kind of relationship so I don't feel like sharing anything else with them.

Hey failinis

i only read the last page here and i am not sure as to what tests etc you are waiting or what illness you are being tested for as I myself have been unwell since November so I dont want to get too upset. The one thing that jumped out to me is that I totally see where you are coming from in regards to the student teacher relationship however...... if that tutor is willing to look beyond the "rules" and wants be there for you let them. This person is clearly the type of person you need in your life regardless of their stature and the type that humanity is all about. The person wants to be there for you and that is lovely of them.

failinis

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Hey failinis

i only read the last page here and i am not sure as to what tests etc you are waiting or what illness you are being tested for as I myself have been unwell since November so I dont want to get too upset. The one thing that jumped out to me is that I totally see where you are coming from in regards to the student teacher relationship however...... if that tutor is willing to look beyond the "rules" and wants be there for you let them. This person is clearly the type of person you need in your life regardless of their stature and the type that humanity is all about. The person wants to be there for you and that is lovely of them.

I am sorry to hear you have been so unwell/sick as well.
The tutor is lovely but I know I can make my own way to appointments once they are organised and things like that - so I do not wish to put them out of their own way for no good reason.
I know that they are there for me to talk to though, and she said that for my current project not to worry to much as hand in dates are pretty far away so I can relax in that sense?
I don't know really, I just think having clear cut student/tutor roles is important.

Lady is a tramp

Being admitted today. Thank fecking christ! I need it.

bridgettedon

Does anyone else feel they get dragged down by small things. I can't speak about these things to people around me as I feel they will tell me to stop being silly.

dd972

Luckily the Black Dog is few and far between, but when I get it it's sort of a cold, hard, dry and cerebral depression, bloody horrible actually but it also disproves the standard image of being curled up under a duvet bawling. Does anybody recognize this?

Going to work with it was particularly horrible where you're looking around at everybody else who's looking so emotionally engaged and plugged in when you're not.

Hugo Stiglitz

dd972 wrote: »

Going to work with it was particularly horrible where you're looking around at everybody else who's looking so emotionally engaged and plugged in when you're not.

So true unfortunately.

Gremlinertia

dd972 wrote: »

Luckily the Black Dog is few and far between, but when I get it it's sort of a cold, hard, dry and cerebral depression, bloody horrible actually but it also disproves the standard image of being curled up under a duvet bawling. Does anybody recognize this?

Going to work with it was particularly horrible where you're looking around at everybody else who's looking so emotionally engaged and plugged in when you're not.

Oh this a hundred times. People expect me to be sad when often i'm very brisk and forthright and really not nice to deal with.. Then the same people start asking what my problem is, thought you were depressed, it's not all tears and duvet days.. That's some of the urban myths that circulate that make it all the harder for sufferers.

I've been doing quite well lately.

Hit a low point during the summer when I was in a bubble and didn't really want to do anything. I started thinking some things I really shouldn't and it was at that point when my survival instinct kicked in and told me to do something about it. I went back to counselling and have been going almost every week since then.

I'm doing good, still have some ground to cover, but I don't think it's anything I can't handle.

Joya

I was doing well for a while and just when I thought I am finally on the good track something happened that hit me really hard. But I stayed standing. Just said to myself, no, I'm not going back there. So am quite "proud" of myself in that regard.
I want to "rewire" my brain by doing so, and not to go back to meds, that I'm off for almost 2 months now..
Even experienced some moments of pure happiness so I believe I see the end of the tunnel... meaning, building a bit stronger ability to cope..
of course there are other issues but, one thing at the time should be enough.. : )..

Gleeso_Finglas

failinis wrote: »

I am sorry to hear you have been so unwell/sick as well.
The tutor is lovely but I know I can make my own way to appointments once they are organised and things like that - so I do not wish to put them out of their own way for no good reason.
I know that they are there for me to talk to though, and she said that for my current project not to worry to much as hand in dates are pretty far away so I can relax in that sense?
I don't know really, I just think having clear cut student/tutor roles is important.

I get you and thats a fair point. Have you tried pieta house? the waiting list is not a long one.? They do unbelievable work. Ive never attended them and chose a different path and kind of regret it.

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Being admitted today. Thank fecking christ! I need it.

Great news that you are finally getting the help you feel you need. I spent a couple of weeks there 2 years ago and believe me i needed it. Its not an easy place to be as you will see all walks of life there but u will get better and bounce back in no time. All the best and no matter how hard it is in there stick it out.

bridgettedon wrote: »

Does anyone else feel they get dragged down by small things. I can't speak about these things to people around me as I feel they will tell me to stop being silly.

All the time!!

dd972 wrote: »

Luckily the Black Dog is few and far between, but when I get it it's sort of a cold, hard, dry and cerebral depression, bloody horrible actually but it also disproves the standard image of being curled up under a duvet bawling. Does anybody recognize this? at a certain stage yes but the curled up in a ball crying is where i spent most of my depression. The depression i can handle its the anxiety that fcuks me up

Going to work with it was particularly horrible where you're looking around at everybody else who's looking so emotionally engaged and plugged in when you're not.

yes been like this the past 4 months.....so i completely relate to you on this. It makes things so much harder. Your not alone on this.

failinis

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

I get you and thats a fair point. Have you tried pieta house? the waiting list is not a long one.? They do unbelievable work. Ive never attended them and chose a different path and kind of regret it.

Pieta house is Irish yeah? I am in South West England for Uni - only back home at Easter/Summer. I may consider some local charities in the North over summer if I need help when I am home. But I think even being "home" would be a good thing over summer.