LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Gleeso_Finglas

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I've had a really really shítty few weeks, after a period where I thought I had been making progress.
Within the past month, the following has happened:

* I finally plucked up the courage to ask out someone I liked and got (very politely and respectfully) shot down.
* I sat and failed a professional exam for the third time. The first time I really wasn't prepared, and the second time I was going through what was probably my lowest point of mental health, but I really thought I was prepared this time. I started the paper off well, had the first three questions pretty much nailed down, but then as it went on my mind started going blank and stuff just fell out of my head.
* The other night I was at a work night out and randomly, at some point during the night, a bouncer comes up to me and says "you've had enough, time to go home". I feel like I was just randomly ejected (and I've never been thrown out of a club in my life), I wasn't falling over drunk or causing any trouble or anything.

They may all seem like small, inconsequential things in the grand run but they all build up to reinforce my negative self beliefs. I'm not attractive enough, smart enough, sociable enough, I have zero talent and I see nothing but blank space when I try to imagine a future. I've been on venlafaxine now for so long that I just take it because I know that, even though it doesn't seem to make me feel any better, I'll feel a lot worse if I don't. If I miss a dose for a day or two, I feel the difference, it's hard to describe but my mind and body just "feel wrong".

I thought I was making progress, compared to where I was six months ago. Now I'm just falling backwards again. I'll never like myself enough to be happy. I am just totally lacking in far too many areas.

Homer I'm not having that....you are not not lacking in too many areas where are the rules on life that say u need to be a certain way or look a certain way on order to be happy? I think that you should try and deal with one thing at a time. I didn't and I ended up in hospital again. I'm on the same anti deposit as u but I'm on 2 others Aswell. Me and u struggle with the same outlook too. I know how hard it is and people say it will get better but it takes alot of time and effort.

Fair play for even attempting the things above. I commend you.

Robsweezie

Gleeso_Finglas wrote:

Homer I'm not having that....you are not not lacking in too many areas where are the rules on life that say u need to be a certain way or look a certain way on order to be happy? I think that you should try and deal with one thing at a time. I didn't and I ended up in hospital again. I'm on the same anti deposit as u but I'm on 2 others Aswell. Me and u struggle with the same outlook too. I know how hard it is and people say it will get better but it takes alot of time and effort.

Gleeso_Finglas wrote:

Fair play for even attempting the things above. I commend you.

+1

Homer don't let your illness create false delusions of your self worth, easier said than done I know.

JupiterKid

Very good programme - Claire Byrne live - about our mental health services - on RTE 1 now.

thomasj

Absolute disgrace that 10 TDs showed up for the debate on the slashing of essential funds needed for the mental health budget.

It may not be much to them (talking about part of the 35 million, and saying it will return next year) but for the ordinary Joe sob who may be suffering. Cutting resources may be a life or death matter whether they know it or not.

Good to see people expressing their anger on Twitter. #iamareason is in the current top 10.

Gremlinertia

I'll be heading to the march in Galway tomorrow, that's for sure, sod nightshift.. I'm so fcuking appalled by it, Look at the money rightly put to road safety as compared to the money put into mental health.. Awful

Starokan

Deleted User wrote: »

I've had a really really shítty few weeks, after a period where I thought I had been making progress.
Within the past month, the following has happened:

* I finally plucked up the courage to ask out someone I liked and got (very politely and respectfully) shot down.
* I sat and failed a professional exam for the third time. The first time I really wasn't prepared, and the second time I was going through what was probably my lowest point of mental health, but I really thought I was prepared this time. I started the paper off well, had the first three questions pretty much nailed down, but then as it went on my mind started going blank and stuff just fell out of my head.
* The other night I was at a work night out and randomly, at some point during the night, a bouncer comes up to me and says "you've had enough, time to go home". I feel like I was just randomly ejected (and I've never been thrown out of a club in my life), I wasn't falling over drunk or causing any trouble or anything.

They may all seem like small, inconsequential things in the grand run but they all build up to reinforce my negative self beliefs. I'm not attractive enough, smart enough, sociable enough, I have zero talent and I see nothing but blank space when I try to imagine a future. I've been on venlafaxine now for so long that I just take it because I know that, even though it doesn't seem to make me feel any better, I'll feel a lot worse if I don't. If I miss a dose for a day or two, I feel the difference, it's hard to describe but my mind and body just "feel wrong".

I thought I was making progress, compared to where I was six months ago. Now I'm just falling backwards again. I'll never like myself enough to be happy. I am just totally lacking in far too many areas

Hey homer , I have no knowledge of the meds you mention to be honest - I have suffered from depression and low self esteem at many times in my life and well your post resonated with me in many ways so i said i would just post what I think

Coming from an outside persepective

I just gotta say well done on asking out the person you liked, it takes guts. Don't take that rejection as personal , there could be a zillion other reasons why they said no. I can tell you one thing though they will have gone home smiling that day because you gave them the best ego boost there is by acknowledging that you liked them

Keep asking whenever you meet someone you like - do not let one no stop you

On the exam it sucks - I did that myself and got it barely on my fourth repeat and it really knocked my confidence - in the end i just likened it to square peg round hole in that it was something i was just not suited too and I focused on the areas I was more naturally attuned too

On the bouncer - his issue not yours , again not personal , bouncers act on what they perceive at the time and in this case he got it wrong , its ****ty that it happened but really he wont have had anything against you

Its clear how bad you are feeling and I would not demean that feeling by telling you to get over it or anything like that, i know the place your in , the only thing I will say is that its your perspective on these events that are getting to you

That's natural you lived through them but from the outside I see someone who had the guts and bravery to ask someone out (easy for many for but not for a lot of us). I see someone who despite failure keeps trying (failure is inevitable in life, only those who do not try do not experience failure), if you really want the exam do it again and you will eventually get it or if its not that important let it go but give yourself credit for not giving up already - you deserve it

Lastly keep going out do not let a one off incident stop you from getting out and having fun

Hugo Stiglitz

Not a great few weeks/months here. One issue after another, and often combining. There's only so much stress, humiliation, and rejection that one can take before one considers becoming a recluse again.

Hope ye all are doing good there.

failinis

Things just building up at the moment and its so hard to get myself out of bed/showered/class in time. Stopped talking to "friends" and family so I know I am in a mood now. Feel like my project is going like **** right now, regardless of what my tutors say so its hard to even make myself want to open a book.

Have to go get one external heart monitor soon, and I have a breast exam next week. Last time I had a external heart monitor it turned into getting an internal one and then pointless surgery.

My symptoms have drastically changed I don't know whats wrong with my body. I am in pain all the time. Not crying tears pain, low grade, constant, ****ing stuff. Want to avoid doctors but the fact its my heart is just a bit I can't ignore that.
I m starting to feel like maybe I am not sick? Like, I feel sick, I get the pain and all that but its my head making it all up?
It took me 3 weeks to go to a dr about how my heart seems to slow down, I faint and the beat becomes irregular. I almost felt like crying when he said he will send me to local hospital to get external monitor. I feel like I am making such a big deal and wasting there time, and they talk about me behind my back saying I am making it up. But I have felt sicker and sicker since I got older.
I don't know if I should second guess this stuff.

Deadline for work is 4-5 weeks away, then exhibition so I will be home in about 7-8 weeks time.
So trying to focus that I will be home with far less pressure hopefully, except some of the pressure is not going to stop - just because I changed location, which I have learnt the hard way :rolleyes:

Esel

We put ourselves under pressure.

failinis

Esel wrote: »

We put ourselves under pressure.

Sometimes it is someone else forcing your hand into situations, but yes, a majority of the time it is the individual.

Hugo Stiglitz

I often find some related mental stuff impossible to talk about with my family. "Modern stuff" that they couldn't possibly relate to. So I have to keep up a happy face while inside my rumination is wrecking my head.

Hugo Stiglitz

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I often find some related mental stuff impossible to talk about with my family. "Modern stuff" that they couldn't possibly relate to. So I have to keep up a happy face while inside my rumination is wrecking my head.

Don't get me wrong, friends. I love them dearly, and I wouldn't be here without them. There's just some things that don't really translate across the generational gap.

failinis

Spoke to one of my brothers (who is in medical profession) who said I should go to all my appointments regardless. He (rightly) refused to talk about my symptoms but said the guy I seen was one of the top in the UK so if he suggested what he did I need to get it looked at.
I don't want to know if its genetic as that means untreatable. I won't know till I go and all that **** yeah yeah yeah.
Skipped uni on Friday and feel myself retreating from people. I will be back in on Wednesday for sure. I really am getting worried again but I can't let that happen.

Gleeso_Finglas

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Not a great few weeks/months here. One issue after another, and often combining. There's only so much stress, humiliation, and rejection that one can take before one considers becoming a recluse again.

Hope ye all are doing good there.

I can relate to this to be honest.It seems like when you are down and u make 1 step forward something happens and knocks us 5 steps back that we just have no energy or interest to get up and try again. But you WILL get there Hugo 1 very small step at a time. Its fuc*king hard and takes alot of effort but I know you can do it!!

Starokan wrote: »

Hey homer , I have no knowledge of the meds you mention to be honest - I have suffered from depression and low self esteem at many times in my life and well your post resonated with me in many ways so i said i would just post what I think

Coming from an outside persepective



I just gotta say well done on asking out the person you liked, it takes guts. Don't take that rejection as personal , there could be a zillion other reasons why they said no. I can tell you one thing though they will have gone home smiling that day because you gave them the best ego boost there is by acknowledging that you liked them

Keep asking whenever you meet someone you like - do not let one no stop you

On the exam it sucks - I did that myself and got it barely on my fourth repeat and it really knocked my confidence - in the end i just likened it to square peg round hole in that it was something i was just not suited too and I focused on the areas I was more naturally attuned too

On the bouncer - his issue not yours , again not personal , bouncers act on what they perceive at the time and in this case he got it wrong , its ****ty that it happened but really he wont have had anything against you

Its clear how bad you are feeling and I would not demean that feeling by telling you to get over it or anything like that, i know the place your in , the only thing I will say is that its your perspective on these events that are getting to you

That's natural you lived through them but from the outside I see someone who had the guts and bravery to ask someone out (easy for many for but not for a lot of us). I see someone who despite failure keeps trying (failure is inevitable in life, only those who do not try do not experience failure), if you really want the exam do it again and you will eventually get it or if its not that important let it go but give yourself credit for not giving up already - you deserve it

Lastly keep going out do not let a one off incident stop you from getting out and having fun

Very well said.

Esel wrote: »

We put ourselves under pressure.

That we do and even though there is no pressure in most situations we somehow manage to create it

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I often find some related mental stuff impossible to talk about with my family. "Modern stuff" that they couldn't possibly relate to. So I have to keep up a happy face while inside my rumination is wrecking my head.

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Don't get me wrong, friends. I love them dearly, and I wouldn't be here without them. There's just some things that don't really translate across the generational gap.

Completley agree. There are just somethings you cannot talk about and no matter how much it seems like it wants to come out just try and bear it until it passes. Its all you can do pal.

failinis

I don't know if stress can make your hair turn greyer quicker but I would not be surprised looking at how many have popped up since Feb compared to before.

I never asked for this. I went for something else, and walked away with Damocles sword. If I never seen that ****ing doctor I would never have ****ing known.

Edit: Read up a bit on what I want it to be (damage from traumatic birth) - and preemie babies most likely to have cerebral damage.
If my family/friends/doctors are wrong in the perception of my condition getting worse, this is most likely cause, which is good.
Non - progressive.

Hugo Stiglitz

Thanks for the kind words, Gleeso.

failinis

Waiting a few more months, I just feel awful tonight.

DeVore

I know it must be tough Failinis, but dwelling on it excessively will make it bigger and bigger. I know it must seem like the only thing in your life right now but its not and I guess it needs some perspective.... I dunno how to give you that perspective but my thoughts and support are with you. You are bigger than this, you're so strong and you don't know it

failinis

DeVore wrote: »

I know it must be tough Failinis, but dwelling on it excessively will make it bigger and bigger. I know it must seem like the only thing in your life right now but its not and I guess it needs some perspective.... I dunno how to give you that perspective but my thoughts and support are with you. You are bigger than this, you're so strong and you don't know it

I never thought I would be "happy" about deadlines for Uni, but I am as its distracting
I know people are sick, instead of "maybe possibly but waiting for tests" which is giving perspective enough - self pity is rubbish and I know I have have been mopping.
Be fine so it will. Just need to distract myself till end of this year.

Edit:
If I have gained anything from this, it is that I need to work on how I deal with stress, a lot.

Gleeso_Finglas

The amount of people that showed up for the darkness into light is amazing my facebook is flooded with it. How the fcuk can the government cut so much money to mental health as if there is any area that needs more investment and more work its mental health. :mad:

ThatGeekGirl

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

The amount of people that showed up for the darkness into light is amazing my facebook is flooded with it. How the fcuk can the government cut so much money to mental health as if there is any area that needs more investment and more work its mental health. :mad:

I cried when I seen all of the pictures on my feed. I was meant to be there, I had done it last year and found it so moving but this year for a few different reasons I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew it would be the domino effect in my mood, too emotional, and I cannot afford to emotionally loose it right now. I feel like I am hanging on by a thread from spiraling out and normally that can take a week or two to get back to a normal but I don't have that freedom - I have to keep it together. Seeing all the pictures made me cry though.

Hugo Stiglitz

ThatGeekGirl wrote: »

I cried when I seen all of the pictures on my feed. I was meant to be there, I had done it last year and found it so moving but this year for a few different reasons I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew it would be the domino effect in my mood, too emotional, and I cannot afford to emotionally loose it right now. I feel like I am hanging on by a thread from spiraling out and normally that can take a week or two to get back to a normal but I don't have that freedom - I have to keep it together. Seeing all the pictures made me cry though.

There's no shame in those tears, GG.

I might walk it the next time it's being held.

PMBC

Believe it was great. My better half was there. My son did it last year so its my turn next year

ThatGeekGirl

PMBC wrote: »

Believe it was great. My better half was there. My son did it last year so its my turn next year

My experience of it last year was amazing, a lot more emotional then I thought it would be but not all negative emotion - in fact it is a very symbolic walk and there is a great sense of solidarity too.

TheSegal

Did the Darkness Into Light walk in Galway at Salthill, amazing atmosphere but disturbing when seeing all of the facts laid out in front of everyone before the walk started. I knew suicide was a major problem in this country but finding out that on average 10 people commit suicide in this country every week was shocking.

I've never seen a crowd like it though, even Race Week crowds paled in comparison to it! With all of the cut backs to mental health by that shower of p***ks in government it was nice to see that as a country we still care deeply about mental health. Struggling to put into words how happy I was with the event!

PMBC

Posted earlier on this.
What can we not do when we try, in Ireland. We are the equal of any country but what goes wrong between such public sentiments as these and putting proper and caring systems in place for mental health, care for the elderly and all the other needs.
I was involved in some physical preventative works 30 years ago but its really only 'hitting me' now.

Mr Diggler

Had suffered a terrible bout of depression after Christmas for the first time in my life. Really scary how withdrawn and reclusive I became. Also had no interest in anything and had a feeling of hopelessness. Thankfully the last month I have been feeling alot better, however the last few days ive had the repetitive thoughts, the feelings of emptyness and hopelessness again. Im really fearful now that im going to relapse, im on anti-depressants and have other tablets for anxiety if I need them. Is it normal for people to feel ok for a while and then have 4 or 5 days of relapse? I have worked so hard to get feeling better I dont want to go back to square one.

Esel

Mr Diggler wrote: »

Had suffered a terrible bout of depression after Christmas for the first time in my life. Really scary how withdrawn and reclusive I became. Also had no interest in anything and had a feeling of hopelessness. Thankfully the last month I have been feeling alot better, however the last few days ive had the repetitive thoughts, the feelings of emptyness and hopelessness again. Im really fearful now that im going to relapse, im on anti-depressants and have other tablets for anxiety if I need them. Is it normal for people to feel ok for a while and then have 4 or 5 days of relapse? I have worked so hard to get feeling better I dont want to go back to square one.

Best thing to do would be to go back to your doctor.

ThatGeekGirl

Mr Diggler wrote: »

Had suffered a terrible bout of depression after Christmas for the first time in my life. Really scary how withdrawn and reclusive I became. Also had no interest in anything and had a feeling of hopelessness. Thankfully the last month I have been feeling alot better, however the last few days ive had the repetitive thoughts, the feelings of emptyness and hopelessness again. Im really fearful now that im going to relapse, im on anti-depressants and have other tablets for anxiety if I need them. Is it normal for people to feel ok for a while and then have 4 or 5 days of relapse? I have worked so hard to get feeling better I dont want to go back to square one.

Like the other poster said, it is best to go have a chat with your doctor. Having said that - in my experience yes it is normal FOR ME to feel ok for awhile and then have little relapses. I have had them for years, they do get fewer and far between when things are going well for me, and then increase when I am more stressed. That does not mean that this is the same for everyone or will be the situation with you, honestly it can be so different for each person, but it would also not be totally out of the ordinary for it to happen to you either. You never really go back to square one btw, each time you take a knock you also learn more about what works for you and what doesnt.

Makapakka

Would you consider a negative influence/person to be someone who is negative by nature, always ring negative or making you feel negative about yourself/things? I am trying to phase out negative people in my life because they are draining me of energy..