LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

bridgettedon

[Deleted User] wrote: »

CBT can be really really useful for tackling your thoughts and teaching you ways to change them. So regarding your relationship with food it should be able to help you find better ways to handle your emotions rather than turning to binge eating.

However it stops on the surface. Psychotherapy and psychoanalysis will dig deeper. Psychoanalysis is costly and it is as you might imagine, you lying on the couch with the analyst sitting behind you. Maybe do a bit of research first of all. Figure out if you would prefer going down the therapy or the analysis route.

I had one therapist who insisted that something had happened in my childhood that made the way I am. Something that maybe I wasn't fully aware at during that time. I found it a massive cop out. However now I wonder if there was any truth in it. Can events which you have zero recollection of actually have happened and affected you your whole life.

bridgettedon

bridgettedon wrote: »

I had one therapist who insisted that something had happened in my childhood that made the way I am. Something that maybe I wasn't fully aware at during that time. I found it a massive cop out. However now I wonder if there was any truth in it. Can events which you have zero recollection of actually have happened and affected you your whole life.

Hmmm. If you have zero recollection of the events then how do you know they happened? I mean did your therapist pick some random occurance and say to you oh this is what must have happened?

If a therapist said to me "Persepoly I think the reason why you sometimes like to sleep with your little light on is because when you were a child someone threatened to turn off all the lights leaving you in darkness". Then I would challenge that therapist because I know deep inside that that simply never happened.

bridgettedon

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Hmmm. If you have zero recollection of the events then how do you know they happened? I mean did your therapist pick some random occurance and say to you oh this is what must have happened?

No she just said on numerous occasions I think there is more that was happening that you weren't aware of in childhood and that it affected me. I was bad **** crazy at the time and I feel she didn't know how to deal with me. She did question out loud on at least two occasions if she even had the ability to help me. I thought she wasn't a good therapist by the way. Maybe I should just take everything she said with a pinch of salt. When I had the opportunity I left for more appropriate therapy.

Edited to add. I wasn't in the right frame of mind when I was dealing with this therapist. I didn't have the ability to question her as I was in a really bad place.

bridgettedon

bridgettedon wrote: »

No she just said on numerous occasions I think there is more that was happening that you weren't aware of in childhood and that it affected me. I was bad **** crazy at the time and I feel she didn't know how to deal with me. She did question out loud on at least two occasions if she even had the ability to help me. I thought she wasn't a good therapist by the way. Maybe I should just take everything she said with a pinch of salt. When I had the opportunity I left for more appropriate therapy.

Her questioning her ability was showing authenticity in the relationship. So rather than pretending and muddling through she let you know that she was struggling.

Sometimes you just won't click with another person. It's the same in therapy. For whatever reason it won't work. But always remember that it is a relationship built on two people. The therapist isn't there to do all the work and will ask difficult questions and open difficult doors.

Digging around in the past isn't easy. Sometimes we do everything we can to avoid looking at it.

bridgettedon

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Her questioning her ability was showing authenticity in the relationship. So rather than pretending and muddling through she let you know that she was struggling.

Sometimes you just won't click with another person. It's the same in therapy. For whatever reason it won't work. But always remember that it is a relationship built on two people. The therapist isn't there to do all the work and will ask difficult questions and open difficult doors.

Digging around in the past isn't easy. Sometimes we do everything we can to avoid looking at it.

Yes I am well aware that I have to be involved in the therapy as well. Something which I have no problem with. When I asked her if she had dealt with others with similar issues to me she said why are you asking that, that's the child in you asking. No that was me questioning her ability which I was right to do. Anyway she was a bad therapist. I would have rathered she said I can't help you rather than worsen my situation. Like every profession there are good and bad, and she was a bad egg.

bridgettedon

bridgettedon wrote: »

Yes I am well aware that I have to be involved in the therapy as well. Something which I have no problem with. When I asked her if she had dealt with others with similar issues to me she said why are you asking that, that's the child in you asking. No that was me questioning her ability which I was right to do. Anyway she was a bad therapist. I would have rathered she said I can't help you rather than worsen my situation. Like every profession there are good and bad, and she was a bad egg.

I hope you have found a better outcome with your new therapist

bridgettedon

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I hope you have found a better outcome with your new therapist

Much better thanks. It just gets me worked up thinking about that therapist. But I just need to let it go.

PTH2009

So want to try the dating sites to find a girlfriend but scared I will get no matches.

Getting feed up of single life while others are having kids, getting married etc

bridgettedon

PTH2009 wrote: »

So want to try the dating sites to find a girlfriend but scared I will get no matches.

Getting feed up of single life while others are having kids, getting married etc

I tried online dating but found it not for me. For me I want to work on my self esteem because it's so low. Maybe you're the same as you mention you won't get any matches. I suppose you just need to do what is right for you. Maybe give it a go for a week or two to see if it is for you.

PTH2009

bridgettedon wrote: »

I tried online dating but found it not for me. For me I want to work on my self esteem because it's so low. Maybe you're the same as you mention you won't get any matches. I suppose you just need to do what is right for you. Maybe give it a go for a week or two to see if it is for you.

I don't what way too go if it doesn't work out ???

I would love to even make a friendship or 2 off it to boost my confidence

I'm 26 now and my love life is not where I wanted to be 10 years ago

DeVore

moloner4 wrote: »

What if you're just hiding something in counselling and they never notice? This happened to someone I saw about 10 times in 4 months and they didn't notice I was getting worse and said i didn't need anti depressants. If a good friend didn't make me see someone else I don't know if I'd be still here.

I hate to say it but his/her job isn't to fix you. Its to help you fix you. If you withhold information from them, they cant do theirjob. You sabotaged them and then you want to blame them?? Doesn't work like that...

Hugo Stiglitz

DeVore wrote: »

I hate to say it but his/her job isn't to fix you. Its to help you fix you. If you withhold information from them, they cant do theirjob. You sabotaged them and then you want to blame them?? Doesn't work like that...

It can be hard though. I totally agree with what you're saying but I'm not blaming the poster either.

Hugo Stiglitz

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

It can be hard though. I totally agree with what you're saying but I'm not blaming the poster either.

There is a tendency for some people to fall in to victim mode. It's unhealthy and only serves to keep them in the painful place they would rather not be in.

I'm not saying that's what anyone here is doing. I just think it's something to keep in mind. Nobody can give answers and quick fixes. It is hard but without the desire to take responsibility for your own self then it's very hard to expect results.

Hugo Stiglitz

[Deleted User] wrote: »

There is a tendency for some people to fall in to victim mode. It's unhealthy and only serves to keep them in the painful place they would rather not be in.

That's so me!

I agree that's it's so unhealthy. It can cause one to shut themselves off from society and allow their problems to fester.

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm not saying that's what anyone here is doing. I just think it's something to keep in mind. Nobody can give answers and quick fixes. It is hard but without the desire to take responsibility for your own self then it's very hard to expect results.

I know, P.

It's funny, I still hold out some hope for a magic wand quick fix, despite rationally knowing that no such thing exists.

DeVore

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

It can be hard though. I totally agree with what you're saying but I'm not blaming the poster either.

Yeah, sorry I don't mean to sound harsh there either. Its rough to let someone in, but its really the only way you can help them help you

Hugo Stiglitz

DeVore wrote: »

Yeah, sorry I don't mean to sound harsh there either. Its rough to let someone in, but its really the only way you can help them help you

No apologies needed, my friend!

Lollipops23

Really bad night. Started a new job this week, and am loving it. Great team, who've made me feel very welcome.
So why oh why do I feel like worthless scum now? Sitting here on my couch, had a list of stuff around the house I needed to do tonight. Done none of it.
Just feel like my soul is being crushed. The big black is here with a bang.

Hugo Stiglitz

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Really bad night. Started a new job this week, and am loving it. Great team, who've made me feel very welcome.
So why oh why do I feel like worthless scum now? Sitting here on my couch, had a list of stuff around the house I needed to do tonight. Done none of it.
Just feel like my soul is being crushed. The big black is here with a bang.

Really sorry to hear that, Lolli.

I hope it passes there soon.

DeVore

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Really bad night. Started a new job this week, and am loving it. Great team, who've made me feel very welcome.
So why oh why do I feel like worthless scum now? Sitting here on my couch, had a list of stuff around the house I needed to do tonight. Done none of it.
Just feel like my soul is being crushed. The big black is here with a bang.

Lollipops, you started a new job this week, you probably had a crazy week and things have gone well... the team likes you and you like them and you are "loving it". And on the Friday night you are beating yourself up because you didn't do the housework!?!?
Beaten with a stick is too good for you! You should be hung, hung I tells ya! No, beaten with a stick and THEN hung.


I know that its irrational, I know because I've absolutely been there when I've played a blinder on something and all I can do is beat myself to a pulp about that one minor, irrelevant thing that Mr Perfect here wasn't happy about.
The answer to it is evidence and external realignment. The evidence is that you worked hard this week and deserve a bit of ME time. Not just deserve but actually NEED it. Don't feel guilty about taking it. The "external realignment" is me having a giggle above. Hopefully you are having a giggle about it too.. step out of yourself and for one minute see how its a bit silly and funny that on a great week for you, when most other people are well on their way to Copperface Jacks or the underside of a table, you are beating yourself up for not doing the housework.
Is it going somewhere? Will it still be there tomorrow?

Congrats on the new job and the new world. Stop beating yourself up, you're hurting someone I like.

mickstupp

That was not f***ing good! I got off the train at Drumcondra, hoping to get my bus home. Completely had no clue there was a massive concert so suddenly surprised by bloody THOUSANDS of people milling around my bus stop and moving around real fast in all sorts of directions. And because of all the people the buses were all late and delayed and it was really GODDAMN ANXIETY MAKING AND I NEED TO RELAX WITH TEA. It's such a good f***ing thing I no longer drink. I would be half way through a bottle by now. Jesus, so tense. Crowds are normally not a problem when I'm prepared. You know that Grafton street on Christmas Eve is going to be a certain way. You do NOT expect your bus stop in Drumcondra to have more people at it than exist in the universe. AHHHHHHHHH

PMBC

Lollipops23 wrote: »

Really bad night. Started a new job this week, and am loving it. Great team, who've made me feel very welcome.
So why oh why do I feel like worthless scum now? Sitting here on my couch, had a list of stuff around the house I needed to do tonight. Done none of it.
Just feel like my soul is being crushed. The big black is here with a bang.

DeVore is correct of course, as usual. Don't beat yourself up. Remember that little voice/thought in your head is not the real you. HOWEVER and its just a suggestion from a non-expert; how about telling him/it I will do those things tomorrow or I will do just one thing tonight, because I can/because I'm in charge and then I'll do some more tomorrow.
Best of luck - you're getting to a good place

Makapakka

Feeling really low tonight. . I had a falling out with my friend and while this friend does make me feel down, kills my mood at times, I have felt like she hasn't been there for me recently but then she came back saying she has been and thinking about it, I have over looked times when she's helped me. I feel like a horrible person. I can't admit this to her because it feels like I'm backing down n letting her win. . It's so TOUGH.. I know that maybe I'm better off without her but then I'm wondering maybe I haven't been a great friend either.. I'm sure she's pissed off to high heavens ay me.. I just don't know what to do. .

Otis_taylor2

i just f*ckin hate this depression and anxiety. just when you think you have things under control, and you get some freedom some or the other sh*te just pops up to derail you. Just.hate.everything! well maybe not the people here

Hugo Stiglitz

Otis_taylor2 wrote: »

i just f*ckin hate this depression and anxiety. just when you think you have things under control, and you get some freedom some or the other sh*te just pops up to derail you. Just.hate.everything! well maybe not the people here

There is good camaraderie here thankfully.

What's on your mind there, friend?

failinis

I get ya Otis. It's all about the long game.
If you want you can tell us whats up, might help?

The closer my appointment is coming the more I feel anxious.
If I go I will know if what I have is genetic (therefore not curable) which sucks.
But I won't bail on my appointment because it is important to find out.
But ya know what I mean, sometimes you don't want to hear the truth but you need to.

Hugo Stiglitz

failinis wrote: »

The closer my appointment is coming the more I feel anxious.
If I go I will know if what I have is genetic (therefore not curable) which sucks.
But I won't bail on my appointment because it is important to find out.
But ya know what I mean, sometimes you don't want to hear the truth but you need to.

That's tough, F.

I think that it's important to know though. Like should any treatment come along in the future, you'll be in the system for it.

Otis_taylor2

yes there is

..Ah well lots of things...primarily its an interview. Got an interview for a job in a few days, i don't want to really do now. Its something i'm definitely interested in the future but just not now. I want to do something else now. Just finished exams and now having to sit and prepare for a fuc*ing case interview in a short period of time - i just can't do, esp since its topics that are not really my field of study. I guess it was wrong timing in applying for the job, and i was referred to the role by someone.

I don't know if im just wasting a good opportunity. opportunity doesn't knock twice

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

There is good camaraderie here thankfully.

What's on your mind there, friend?

Hugo Stiglitz

Otis_taylor2 wrote: »

yes there is

..Ah well lots of things...primarily its an interview. Got an interview for a job in a few days, i don't want to really do now. Its something i'm definitely interested in the future but just not now. I want to do something else now. Just finished exams and now having to sit and prepare for a fuc*ing case interview in a short period of time - i just can't do, esp since its topics that are not really my field of study. I guess it was wrong timing in applying for the job, and i was referred to the role by someone.

I don't know if im just wasting a good opportunity. opportunity doesn't knock twice

You know, it might be good to do the interview anyway. Who knows, if it goes right, the thought of securing a good paying job might hit your sweet spot. If nothing else, it'll be good practice.

failinis

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

failinis wrote: »

The closer my appointment is coming the more I feel anxious.
If I go I will know if what I have is genetic (therefore not curable) which sucks.
But I won't bail on my appointment because it is important to find out.
But ya know what I mean, sometimes you don't want to hear the truth but you need to.

That's tough, F.

I think that it's important to know though. Like should any treatment come along in the future, you'll be in the system for it.

Plus it might not be what they all seem to think, so it can be crossed out and we can all focus on finding what actually is wrong.

Its the fact I am waiting so long, I had to go private to see a neurologist before I see genetics. Still won't "know" till blood tests come back in October - November time but its all about getting the ball rolling.

I also need to see a counseller about sometime I should have seeked help for when it happened. I think now over summer since I am back home is best.
If I go it means admitting what happened to me was real and dragging it up.
I am reluctant to dredge it up now while I am also waiting for medical results. Feels like waiting for the camels back to snap.