LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

openarms

Lads, I just logged in to say Thank you! To you all that posted on this thread...I hope ye have an absolutely spectacular year!

I watch most threads and I have really and truly laughed out loud to some which is a great remedy for me!

But this one seriously moved me to such a place that I have no words to describe. I will take comfort in knowing that I was not alone in 2011 from what I have seen from this thread.

Some of us spoke about the over whelming cloud hanging over us, something that....if I could put in words...I would lack in response.

Let's make 2012 the year that we will all be around to say Hello to each other in 2013.

May we have more smiles and laughter in 2012 than we have ever had in our lives!. Sound out!

openarms

openarms wrote: »

Lads, I just logged in to say Thank you! To you all that posted on this thread...I hope ye have an absolutely spectacular year!

I watch most threads and I have really and truly laughed out loud to some which is a great remedy for me!

But this one seriously moved me to such a place that I have no words to describe. I will take comfort in knowing that I was not alone in 2011 from what I have seen from this thread.

Some of us spoke about the over whelming cloud hanging over us, something that....if I could put in words...I would lack in response.

Let's make 2012 the year that we will all be around to say Hello to each other in 2013.

May we have more smiles and laughter in 2012 than we have ever had in our lives!. Sound out!

Great post

greenmachine88

Interested to know if anti depressants are a solution for those who aren't feeling so great!

shuvly

Have never gone the tab route, maybe I should, but have been denying my illness for years. My sad tale, which pales in comparison to what I have read here, is that I have had two sisters die. My first darling sister died when I was 5 and I cannot remember her, no matter how hard I try. My beloved second sister died when I was 12, and I will never forget her, even though she was only 6 months old. I am now a qualified childrens nurse looking after terminally ill children, because of my sis. But I have been a children's nurse for nearly 20 years and am tired of the constant sadness..even more so in the last year. I love my job, but I hate it too.

nesf

greenmachine88 wrote: »

Interested to know if anti depressants are a solution for those who aren't feeling so great!

For some, definitely yes. I've seen some people make huge progress on them. For others talk therapy or meditation/yoga or similar has been the trick.

Basically my advice would be try everything and find what works for you personally.

zenno

Anti depressants are great for a short time but there is always a time when you have to stop taking them for health reasons and the come-down can be very bleak when you can't take them anymore so in the short of it their great but getting off them can be a problem or an addiction scenario.

well folks all you can do is think positively towards the future and be strong and always know that YOU are never alone as this thread shows, so give it your best and lets go forward and accomplish all of our goals. easier said than done but you have backing as stated so your not alone. peace and goodwill folks, may you all change your world for the better.

nesf

zenno wrote: »

Anti depressants are great for a short time but there is always a time when you have to stop taking them for health reasons and the come-down can be very bleak when you can't take them anymore so in the short of it their great but getting off them can be a problem or an addiction scenario.

Ah, now. I've been on half a dozen antidepressants over the past decade and I've never experienced a come-down that was particularly bad mood wise and none of them are addicting, you can get withdrawal symptoms which is a very different thing. Coming down off one particular drug was nasty for me but I never felt like I wanted another tablet of it at any point which is what would have happened if it was addictive.

The thing with anti-depressants is that they can get you to a place where you can fix some of the bad habits in your life that are part of your depression. The negative thinking, pessimism, lack of exercise, too much alcohol and whatnot. When I'm depressed there isn't a hope in hell of me making positive life changes, just eating every day is hard enough to manage. I either need to wait out the depression or take something to get me to a stage where I can enact change in my life. Though most of my depressions are seasonal and beyond exercise and light therapy there's not much I can do to stave them off (light therapy is great by the way, forgot to mention it in my post above, just make sure you get a decent lamp that gives out sufficient light not some cheap "SAD lamp" jobby that doesn't give out enough light, you're talking 1,000 lux white light or 500 lux blue light and 350 lux green light if memory serves).

shuvly

Havn't eaten much since christmas day, which was a family disaster. Had stocked up on party stuff like spring rolls and wontons in my own gaff, which I love, and kept me going last few days, just to eat something..but I have been drinking...this year had better be better..

Claasman

shuvly wrote: »

Havn't eaten much since christmas day, which was a family disaster. Had stocked up on party stuff like spring rolls and wontons in my own gaff, which I love, and kept me going last few days, just to eat something..but I have been drinking...this year had better be better..

hope ya are ok

nesf

shuvly wrote: »

Havn't eaten much since christmas day, which was a family disaster. Had stocked up on party stuff like spring rolls and wontons in my own gaff, which I love, and kept me going last few days, just to eat something..but I have been drinking...this year had better be better..

A hell of a lot easier said than done but staying off the drink for a bit might make a major improvement.

James T Kirk

Brutally honest and brave post, OP. Wasn't going to log in here for several months; but I'm glad I did tonight.

Thank you, DeVore. And may your, and indeed everyone's, 2012 be a peaceful and happy one.

DeVore

shuvly wrote: »

Have never gone the tab route, maybe I should, but have been denying my illness for years. My sad tale, which pales in comparison to what I have read here, is that I have had two sisters die. My first darling sister died when I was 5 and I cannot remember her, no matter how hard I try. My beloved second sister died when I was 12, and I will never forget her, even though she was only 6 months old. I am now a qualified childrens nurse looking after terminally ill children, because of my sis. But I have been a children's nurse for nearly 20 years and am tired of the constant sadness..even more so in the last year. I love my job, but I hate it too.

When my grandfather who I loved to bits passed away, thats more or less the first time I felt it. Death and the thought of it have always been a trigger for me. I remember lying in bed crying tears into my ears and then a nothingness, a sort of routine-mechanicalness.

I have seen, through the SSF some of the work done with sick kids and I couldnt do it. I just couldnt, I dont think I'd last a week. So instead what I decided to do, with everyone here's help was to help people who COULD do. To stand behind them and assist THEM to do it. That's just as valid an option you know.

You say you have 20 years of experience.... maybe you could teach the new bloods the best practise or work as a liason to Management or admin.... there are lots of ways of supporting and helping and being involved that doesnt require direct emotional involvement. Just a thought....

DeV.

Wattle

greenmachine88 wrote: »

Interested to know if anti depressants are a solution for those who aren't feeling so great!

Some people think anti-depressants will be a miracle cure and are disappointed with the results. Really anti-depressants are only one tool that you use in conjunction with other tools such as talking therapy, relaxation, exercise, socialising, spirituality and having goals.

Drumpot

DeVore wrote: »

When my grandfather who I loved to bits passed away, thats more or less the first time I felt it. Death and the thought of it have always been a trigger for me. I remember lying in bed crying tears into my ears and then a nothingness, a sort of routine-mechanicalness.

DeV.

I am still no sure what my triggers are (think there are a few) but I know that I get incensed with the injustices that go on in the world without the majority of people actually doing anything then bitching about it and continuing on in their lives (assuming its somebody elses responsibility to fix the world!).

Prob stems from something that happened to my family in the 90s, involving several big banks, a conman and the banks refusing to accept their role in the affair and trying to push families (including my own) to bankrupcy before settling on the steps, but by then too much damage had been done and as such my father is still working in his 70s to pay for the banks admitted negligence and their subsequent refusal to accept responsibility for their part in a crime.

I cant say exactly when I started to have depressed feelings but i can remember feeling "numb" on many occasions since my early teens.

I have tried anti depressents to some success and have tried councelling on differant occasions. Money and working for myself restricts my ability to get myself properly fixed up, will have a look at those aware meetings though as I just want to feel normal, instead of euphoric or downright sick of everything (where you think "whats the fecking point"!).

One thing that worked for me (and I recommend to anybody who is low on themselves), is to find something that makes you feel good about yourself. For me it was when I bought a rabbit for myself back in 2004. I bought the rabbit cause I struggled to find things that I liked about myself and I had seldom felt I deserved anything good (great girlfriend - now wife, great friends, great family). I always have and still do beat myself up for not being the person I know I can be. My achievements are the family I am bringing up and the people whom I am lucky to have around me.

When I bought the rabbit (Jinxie), I had alot of self doubt ("sure I will prob half arse looking after him like everything else I do!"). Long story short, I have never shown as much commitement and competency with anything in my life. My poor Jinxie was always sick and I spent thousands looking after him. He had a rare condition that required alot of attention and as long as the vet said that he had a good standard of living, I kept looking after him. I fed him with a syringe when he wasnt eating properly, massaged his belly when he couldnt goto the toilet properly and I shared my most darkest moments with him when I felt I couldnt speak to anybody else. He didnt say anything, didnt offer opinions and didnt have any answers. But he would lay down on the ground while I rubbed his ears while having a cry and telling him how I felt and for some reason it made me feel better.

Jinxie made me feel good about myself. I took care of him for over 6 years before I had to get him put down August year ago. That was the single hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. Even writing this upsets me because that rabbit represented a majority of my own self medicating prescription to assist me in building up my confidence and opinion of myself. By looking after him so intensively, I proved to myself that I am capable and deserving of the friends and family that I have. Had I the means, I would do the same for them, but until then I will find solice in how I looked after my Jinxie.

People laugh at how much affection I had for this rabbit and I dont mind. I am actually sorry for people who find more joy in materialistic things that have no life or soul. I believe that The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about. He wasnt just a rabbit, he was in some ways a soulmate of sorts. something that provided me comfort when nobody else could and for that I will always be eternally greatful for the time I had with my Jinxie.

When I said it to somebody close to me who defo suffers from depression, they said "I dont like rabbits" completely missing the point. I havent written this to just leave myself open for serious slagging, what I am saying is that people should try and find their "Jinxie". Something innocent, that will not hurt you, but that makes you feel better about yourself for your own reasons. I believe that not being able to help my family financially has been a huge part of my depressed state, but in finding comfort in how I was able to look after Jinxie, I filled some of the pain that I struggle with most days.

scrimshanker

Thanks DeVore for posting this thread. It’s prompted me to go ahead and make an account here. This thread is enlightening and comforting on some sort of level. Living with depression is tough, living with someone who has it can be really tough too. My mum’s had it for a while. It’s hard. It really is tiring, wears me out. Seems to be rubbing off on me too, I'm afraid. By afraid I mean genuinely a bit scared. I took a couple of online short tests to see if I show any signs of depression – apparently I show symptoms of moderate to severe depression. Figured the tests were a heap of shit. Too short to be accurate. So I looked for a better one – one with enough questions and detail to not be entirely ****e. Looked at the number of questions and couldn’t be arsed. Guess that says a lot huh? Eventually got around to taking it after spending all day looking at it. Had to do it over the course of a couple of hours tho, taking breaks. Then it wanted me to buy the answers, which I would have done but the flipping link wasn’t working. fml.


I do suspect I’ve some form of depression. Thing is though, I don’t want to have depression. I seem to get particularly low when I’m allowed to chill. The rest of the time I’m ‘on’ and can be cheery and sociable but it’s exhausting. I’m fed up of the amount of complaining that gets done in general. I’m just so sick of having to deal with other people. I’m so tired from it.



I’ve a brother who’s very moody and sensitive, he has to be carefully treated with kid gloves. Have to walk on eggshells around mum too. Dad’s quite an aggressive personality, heart of gold but insensitive. I just… I don’t know how I feel. I really don’t. Mum’s had depression for a while now. She’s not taking anti-depressants anymore, hasn’t done for a while, but the anxiety and self criticism are still there. Constantly running herself down. It’s exhausting to listen to. Constantly ****ing critical too. Just walked into the room and whinged about the fact that I haven’t started the dinner. Off to do that for now so I guess. Don’t really want to – I’m not hungry and I’d rather just have a bag of popcorn when I get hungry. But mum needs to eat, so I guess I’ve to make dinner. (I wrote all of the above a good bit earlier).



I’m just so tired. I’m so, so tired. I try to be understanding, but it’s so long since I myself have felt happy and positive about the future. I’ve no desire to deal with this properly. I know I should, but I’m the strong one, the one with the thicker skin, the one who copes. Unwavering, unfaltering, coping. I’m so tired of coping. I just really, really, really don’t want to have any diagnosis of anything that could impact on career choice. Depression would fail a person a few types of medical requirements for some jobs. So on I plod. Just so tired with my screwy life. I’m supposed to be well adjusted.


Depression ruins lives. Sorry about the above rant, but it was a bit cathartic. You don’t even have to have depression for it to come into your life like a wrecking ball. I should be successful, I’ve just started a Ph.D. and it’s just so stressful and I really dunno if I’m cut out for it.


Sincerely, DeVore, I thank you for this thread and thanks to everyone who posted in it. It’s really made me examine my own frame of mind. I’d love to be able to pull myself out of it and for a couple of days at a time I kinda do, and then think ‘god, what was I feeling so miserable about?’ but then I run out of energy and yeah, back I go. I’m not coping, and I’m really not happy. I think a trip to the college councillor is in order. Really just wish this wasn’t happening so to speak. Wish I was 10 again. I was happy at 10.

DeVore

Depression is a personal thing. I chose to make mine public because I have the liberty (and the mentality, if I'm honest ) to say "hey world, go f*ck yourself, this is who I am". But YOU dont have to. If you choose to talk to someone about how you are feeling, you dont need to divulge that in every interview from now on !!

In my life I have worked for significant periods as: Boxshifter, Mathematician, programmer, croupier, writer, company director, sooochul medja gooroo and life assurance consultant. Dont let yourself think that your depression is a blockage to doing what you want to do.

It sounds like you are under a lot of family pressure and that can be hard. Go talk to someone, you already felt the catharsis of writing about it... talking is good too!

Hey, welcome to Boards. We dont bite. Well, Micky Dolenz used to but now he wears a gumshield

DeV.

joeyjoejnr

Excellent post shrim

Sometimes I find myself needing to jot things down. They arent quite revelations but just compulsions I get at times. Sometimes they are airy fairy, rants (BEWARE) and other times just attempts to understand myself in order to get to the heart of the issue. I found myself writing away and thought I'd knock on the laptop and throw it out, its a bad read but no one is forced to read it so might as well...

"We all need a sense of affirmation. We need to feel we are validated and have value. Without a sense of importance our primal self feels as though it got lost after the battle, as though we got cut off and had no compass to find our sense of connectedness to our collective mind, our society, our reality. This mind behaves almost like a scaffolding or a web that gives you a sense that you are "here" or "there". Even the sun and moon where once gods, only further away than the highest tree. Everything was closely knit. The collective is constantly there like an extension of yourself giving you indicators and direction, where ever that is.

Somewhere I got lost. I dunno when. Signs were there but I couldnt read them at the time. A part of me was still creating my "self" and ignored any warnings. I took pride in my ideas of what my strengths and weaknesses were, I romanticized who I was. A kind of loner who felt the passing of time a lot quieter and more of a grind. I got used to things which I thought were normal such as second guessing myself in company, being shy, being observant, spending summers days alone and making sure I merged in without being noticed.

I thought it was they who were being fake. How could anyone feel that much enthusiasm for life? How could anyone be in such sync with people, with school, as though life took these people by the hands. All this hustle and buzzing of life, a vibration which I simply couldnt grasp even when I tried. It almost felt like I was experiencing life from the back of a dark 20 foot corridor, gazing through a 3 foot square window.

I think this corridor could be called loneliness but I used to associate that word with 'being on your own', without company. Its only now I realize that the word is so lightweight in describing this bizarre, silent feeling. Its odd how so familiar you become with it, like some black hole spreading throughout your "self".

I'm realizing that in this culture, people find honesty hard to engage with. What is there to be honest about other than this depression and death? We seem to have done a one-up on this darkness with humour. We have refined the ability to exchange absurdities and ridicule through the art of wit and humour, any time this shadow wants to creep out, be it through silence, tears, protest, we jig with words and mutilate it, remove its value and temporarily submerge it. Of course, not everyone feels this way.

I cant believe after all these years I'm still the same, hating people, feeling displaced and hopeless, maybe still delusional. The tribes insult and mock people like me and of course, this has always been. There is a consented, almost invisible tweaking that involuntary takes place, a compromise which is just enough for all, nearly all! I'm sure during wars and battles folks like myself got weeded out perhaps for being weaker, maybe too sensitive, perhaps didnt believe in their cause, perhaps didnt understand what they were saying:pac:, perhaps didnt have kids or a woman to defend and things still havent changed that much today. But today the war is an inverted one with the same ability to kill.

I need to feel I'm a apart of something or someone, I need to feel affirmed in some way where I feel I'm connected without feeling ashamed. This has rarely happened and I still cant figure out how I've gone this long feeling like this. I must be blind to opportunities or something, I cant tell.

I have to find a way. If I could take one step of certainty I'd run at it! I have to find a tribe, a people where myself is brought into existence. There has to be something in this for me. To be alive is still strange when you havent found your feet, your vocation, your love, your right of passage. I dont think I know. I think I'm gonna try be a bit more brave."

EUSSR

Wattle wrote: »

Some people think anti-depressants will be a miracle cure and are disappointed with the results. Really anti-depressants are only one tool that you use in conjunction with other tools such as talking therapy, relaxation, exercise, socialising, spirituality and having goals.

I would argue they should be the last resort. Depression is complex, researchers aren't even certain of the underlying mechanics of Depression yet. This is open to serious abuse, because recent data suggests the long term outcomes of anti depressant medication is questionable.

The only way to quell the stigma associated with mental illness, is to remove the poor image associated with it. As one notable Academic researcher put it "Garbage in, Garbage out". This is the case when you consider these drugs applied to mild and moderately depressed people at least.

Most of the very major psychological associations are lobbying to have this reductionist model changed. This I believe, will lead to massively reduced stigma for the mentally ill over the next 100 years or so. These drugs are largely responsible for the undue stigma, in my own humble opinion.

Morag

EUSSR wrote: »

I would argue they should be the last resort. Depression is complex, researchers aren't even certain of the underlying mechanics of Depression yet. This is open to serious abuse, because recent data suggests the long term outcomes of anti depressant medication is questionable.

The only way to quell the stigma associated with mental illness, is to remove the poor image associated with it. As one notable Academic researcher put it "Garbage in, Garbage out". This is the case when you consider these drugs applied to mild and moderately depressed people at least.

Most of the very major psychological associations are lobbying to have this reductionist model changed. This I believe, will lead to massively reduced stigma for the mentally ill over the next 100 years or so. These drugs are largely responsible for the undue stigma, in my own humble opinion.

I'd not consider a site like the Salon which you've linked to be a good site for such issues and yes it's not surprising that the area of mental wellness is changing at a rapid pace, this is good it means break throughs are being made and quell surprise that a book written in 1952 has had to be changed a lot over the last 60 years.

anti D's can help stablise a person, to help them cope, give them a cushion in the hole they are in so that they can then try and focus on getting out of it.

cloud493

Hope everyone had a good christmas I'm really struggling at the moment, need to make a new appointment for pieta house.

EUSSR

Sharrow wrote: »

I'd not consider a site like the Salon which you've linked to be a good site for such issues and yes it's not surprising that the area of mental wellness is changing at a rapid pace, this is good it means break throughs are being made and quell surprise that a book written in 1952 has had to be changed a lot over the last 60 years.

anti D's can help stablise a person, to help them cope, give them a cushion in the hole they are in so that they can then try and focus on getting out of it.

Salon is simply the delivery man in this case. If you read the Letter given to the DSM drafters from some of the Largest Psychological Associations in the world and consider the number of signatures, you may have come to a different conclusion.

The fact remains. This is a major push to the eradication of mental illness stigma.

Here is the main Academic letter to consider > http://apps.bps.org.uk/_publicationfiles/consultation-responses/DSM-5%202011%20-%20BPS%20response.pdf

stupidusername

cloud493 wrote: »

Hope everyone had a good christmas I'm really struggling at the moment, need to make a new appointment for pieta house.

Well done for making that appointment

cloud493

I haven't yet, I'm trying to steel myself to. Trying to convince myself 10 months without self harm is actually an achievement, and not just me being weak.

opinion guy

cloud493 wrote: »

Hope everyone had a good christmas I'm really struggling at the moment, need to make a new appointment for pieta house.

cloud493 wrote: »

I haven't yet, I'm trying to steel myself to. Trying to convince myself 10 months without self harm is actually an achievement, and not just me being weak.

Cloud it IS an achievement. Now make that appointment and make ten months become 20,30,40. Don't wait til you've slipped - if you feel you will slip. Head it off at the pass!

MagicSean

Is the Samaritans a very religious organisation. I spoke to a woman over new years who was suffering from depression. I advised her about the Samaritans and her response was "I called them already. She said they'd pray for me." would this be standard?

CDfm

An epic thread DeVore.

Lucky for you that your sister was on hand to put you straight.

I caught it (wrong phrase) a few years back and as luck had it a woman I know spotted it. Before I knew it I was dragged to meet a friend of hers for coffee.

Not the worst thing to happen in my life I just needed to acquire new skills and unlearn a few and go to a GP which I hadn't in years.

Yup, I manned up and got on with it

The down side for some who suffer severe depression is it can lead on to other things , the worst being suicide.

When the Kate Fitzgerald went public I posted it in Humanities and called it "Girl Suicide" as I just didn't know where to put it.

opinion guy

CDfm you may think you are being helpful but that post of yours reads like a slap in the face to many here.

Had a coffee and a chat with a GP and 'manned up and got on with it' ????

Seriously ?
You think that's appropriate here ?
You are lucky I'm not reporting you for trolling frankly

From here:
http://uhs.berkeley.edu/lookforthesigns/depressionsuicide.shtml

Clinical depression is not the same as feeling sad or depressed for a few days and then feeling better. It can affect your body, mood, thoughts, and behavior. It can change your eating habits, how you feel and think, your ability to work and study, and how you interact with people. People who suffer from clinical depression often report that they "don't feel like themselves anymore."

How Is Clinical Depression Different From Normal Stress and Sadness?
Feeling sad and depressed is often a normal reaction to a stressful life situation. For example, it is normal to feel down after a major disappointment, or to have trouble sleeping or eating after a difficult relationship break-up. Usually, within a few days, perhaps after talking to a friend, we start to feel like ourselves again.

Clinical depression is very different. It involves a noticeable change in functioning that persists for two weeks or longer. Imagine that for the last three months you've slept more than 10 hours a day and still feel tired, you have stomach problems, you're unable to cope with life, and you wonder if dying would solve all your problems. Or, imagine not being able to sleep more than four hours a night, not wanting to spend time with family or friends, and constantly feeling irritable. And when friends try to reach out to you, you get even more upset and bothered. You lose perspective, and you don't realize that what you're experiencing is abnormal. You want to just "wait it out," and you don't get help because you think it's weak to ask for help or you don't want to burden your friends.

These are some of the experiences that people can have when they suffer from clinical depression. Unlike normal stress and sadness, the symptoms of clinical depression persist and do not go away no matter how much the individual wants.

DeVore

I think it's an unfortunate choice of words.

Cloud, that's a great achievement, come on mate don't do that, don't run down your achievements. That's my turf

DeV.

opinion guy

DeVore wrote: »

I think it's an unfortunate choice of words.

Cloud, that's a great achievement, come on mate don't do that, don't run down your achievements. That's my turf

DeV.

Fair enough. I just find the whole 'man up' sentiment insulting. I mean here we are on a depression thread where people are talking of their YEARS of hellish torment they have been fighting with every ounce of strength - where its been said about once every page that its terrible when people tell you to 'snap out of it' or 'man up' and what do we have on page 54 ? Somebody telling us it was no big deal and he manned up and got on with after a coffee and a chat and deciding to learn a few life skills.

No.
Just, no.

CDfm

opinion guy wrote: »

CDfm you may think you are being helpful but that post of yours reads like a slap in the face to many here.

Had a coffee and a chat with a GP and 'manned up and got on with it' ????

I thought about that by the way before posting. There is a whole lot of technical language that went with it that scared me and I spent a lot of time being miserable needlessly.

So when my friend said " I think you have got depression" and lets do something about it I was fairly drained and went along with it. It wasn't a case of me "not being myself" -this was me.

I look at it now as being a very ordinary thing to do but being in a spot to have the emotional support and professional help for me was pure luck. I just needed to be very open minded about it as it does take a bit of commitment.I just wanted a better quality of life and I look at that as being a choice.

Of course, I wish it all hadn't happened but once I knew the responsibility was mine to get help.