LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

PMBC

YFlyer wrote: »

20 minutes silently repeating a mantra is much easier.

I have also practiced 20 minutes TM but with extreme anxiety it can be - can be, not definitely is - more difficult to do than 8 mins.

Insect Overlord

I would consider them both useful, worthwhile exercises, but in different ways.

The idea of a mantra to me seems like a great way to focus on a singular idea, a concentration almost to the point of hypnosis, blocking out everything else (apart from breathing and maybe the motion of the lips).

The "coming to your senses" idea is almost the opposite. It reminds you of all the different parts of your body. You get to feel the sensations throughout your limbs, connect with smells and sounds in the environment, breathe, and connect your thoughts to your whole body and surroundings instead of feeling like you are your thoughts.

I just can't imagine how either approach could possibly be described as "laborious". Then again, I enjoy spending 90 minutes jogging or two hours cycling or ages figuring out the solutions to sudoku puzzles, so I supposed I'm used to what works for me.

La.de.da

Some great posts here over the last few days. Haven't contributed much to this thread but it gives great comfort reading 'I'm not the only one' and how people cope.

I sincerely hope not to go or be placed into mentioned 'victim mode', though too that I know that I'll never be fully free of depression and certainly not anxiety.

It's something I've somewhat come to accept and not in a sad way it's just me. I was never the social butterfly.... I have people constantly saying to me go out and live your life..... I bloody am living.....It doesn't mean I have to travel the world or go out every weekend. I'm not afraid of feeling sad or worse it's something I now acknowledge and accept.

One thing I'm hating lately though is the medication. I feel lately I'm becoming zombie like and my cognitive skills are compromised. Maybe just a dosage thing. I'd love to know what it feels like to be off it though.

I'm rambling now sorry.

Hugo Stiglitz

Victim mode is a hard ****er to escape from.

Gleeso_Finglas

Crying my eyes out...so depressed and too anxious to do anything about it.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Crying my eyes out...so depressed and too anxious to do anything about it.

*hugs* So sorry to hear that, my friend.

Things won't always be this way. Try to hold onto that thought.

Gleeso_Finglas

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

*hugs* So sorry to hear that, my friend.

Things won't always be this way. Try to hold onto that thought.

I'm like this so long Hugo it's all I know and all the therapy in the world doesn't help.

Hugo Stiglitz

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

I'm like this so long Hugo it's all I know

Same. We need to get this out of our default personality.

Gleeso_Finglas

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

Same. We need to get this out of our default personality.

Easier said then done. Like I've literally tried everything. Mindfulness cbt all types of therapy and now normal cbt which I put off because I cannot take anything on board. I will walk out of a session and go blank. So frustrating

Hugo Stiglitz

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Easier said then done.

I totally agree. Unfortunately.

I'm trying to put myself into a mindset of kicking this thing's ass. Hate it with a passion.

Gleeso_Finglas

Hugo Stiglitz wrote: »

I totally agree. Unfortunately.

I'm trying to put myself into a mindset of kicking this thing's ass. Hate it with a passion.

But how do u kick it's ass is the billion dollar 💵 question or should I say answer

Hugo Stiglitz

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

But how do u kick it's ass is the billion dollar 💵 question or should I say answer

Good question.

mansize

Hey guys best of luck this week.
Off to bed now, starting new job in the morning- excited but a little bit nervous

Gremlinertia

mansize wrote: »

Hey guys best of luck this week.
Off to bed now, starting new job in the morning- excited but a little bit nervous

I'll be thinking of you as i finish my shift, best of luck, you'll be great.

Hugo Stiglitz

mansize wrote: »

Hey guys best of luck this week.
Off to bed now, starting new job in the morning- excited but a little bit nervous

Best of luck to you, Mansize! Eye of the tiger.

mansize

Gremlinertia wrote: »

I'll be thinking of you as i finish my shift, best of luck, you'll be great.

Good luck with your shift, my Apple Watch reminds me to do breathing exercises now!

Reiketsu

Hi everyone. I have previously posted in this thread a couple of years ago when I was going through a period of depression. I was prescribed Sertraline at that time and was on it for six months and it really helped me. However over the past few of months I've been feeling a bit out of sorts again and I'm worried that I'm slipping back into it again. I feel like because I know what it feels like that if I am questioning if I am, then I probably am, if that makes any sense.

I can't sleep properly, it takes me hours to fall asleep. I have put on so much weight even though I eat pretty well - I track my food and I am within the limits for calories, fat, sugar etc. I try and do exercise along with it but because I'm in such a rut it's hard to get motivated. It has destroyed my confidence. I feel like every person I meet is judging how I look and looking down their nose at me. I had self confidence problems as a teenager which is when I had my first period of depression but my weight was perfectly healthy then - I was just painfully shy and picked on. I have stopped taking pride in my appearance, I just don't see the point when I don't like what I see and I feel others don't either.

I have never been diagnosed with my sort of anxiety problem despite having panic attacks in the past. However I have started having them again on occasion. I feel nervous when out in public but not to the point I avoid socialising. I do have a habit of wringing my hands when I get that anxious feeling in my stomach. I feel like I'm just a shell of a person and I am so different to how I was even just 3 years ago. I don't understand it at all. I came out of depression and ended up anxious and lacking self esteem and confidence instead. Now I feel depression is creeping back up on me and I hate everything about myself on top of it. I don't even know what the real point to this post is but I needed to get my thoughts out somewhere as I have been bottling them up.

Makapakka

Reiketsu wrote: »

Hi everyone. I have previously posted in this thread a couple of years ago when I was going through a period of depression. I was prescribed Sertraline at that time and was on it for six months and it really helped me. However over the past few of months I've been feeling a bit out of sorts again and I'm worried that I'm slipping back into it again. I feel like because I know what it feels like that if I am questioning if I am, then I probably am, if that makes any sense.

I can't sleep properly, it takes me hours to fall asleep. I have put on so much weight even though I eat pretty well - I track my food and I am within the limits for calories, fat, sugar etc. I try and do exercise along with it but because I'm in such a rut it's hard to get motivated. It has destroyed my confidence. I feel like every person I meet is judging how I look and looking down their nose at me. I had self confidence problems as a teenager which is when I had my first period of depression but my weight was perfectly healthy then - I was just painfully shy and picked on. I have stopped taking pride in my appearance, I just don't see the point when I don't like what I see and I feel others don't either.

I have never been diagnosed with my sort of anxiety problem despite having panic attacks in the past. However I have started having them again on occasion. I feel nervous when out in public but not to the point I avoid socialising. I do have a habit of wringing my hands when I get that anxious feeling in my stomach. I feel like I'm just a shell of a person and I am so different to how I was even just 3 years ago. I don't understand it at all. I came out of depression and ended up anxious and lacking self esteem and confidence instead. Now I feel depression is creeping back up on me and I hate everything about myself on top of it. I don't even know what the real point to this post is but I needed to get my thoughts out somewhere as I have been bottling them up.

Hi there. I hope you are ok. Your post sounds very similar to how I felt a couple of months ago. I was depressed in 2012 and since then, even though I came off my tablets last year, I think I was in constant fear of it returning. So much that I kept up relationships, old habits and actions because I never actually tackled the underlying problem. I never had anxiety, mainly depression, but a few months ago, I had a mild attack while sitting in with my therapist. Everything in my life was becoming overwhelming and my body was trying to tell me to slow down. I do believe that my anxiety was linked to my fear of "being depressed" again. Once I realised that, I kind of felt a bit stronger to explore it, and began to explore why this fear was here, what can I do about it now, and I also began to learn how to take care of myself in ways that make me happy (dance, reading and cooking does it for me.) I am learning that just because I have a bad day doesn't mean it's depression coming on again, and I am trying to learn to sit with my feelings and just let them pass.

What I am trying to say here is, does any of this relate to you? When you said you felt like depression was creeping back up on you, it sounded like what I felt like those few months ago. I have four years of therapy behind me so that is why I think I "bounced back" quicker than before..

Basically, what I am trying to say is that, if it is depression, it's ok. You beat it before and you will beat it again. If you feel strong enough, try and take a step back from your life and look at WHY you might be feeling this way. All of us here now EXACTLY how hard it is to motivate yourself, and I hope I'm not coming across as condescending or patronising. Perhaps you could get out for a ten minute walk a day, every two days, and as that becomes easier, increase it. I had stopped going to my dance classes but I made myself return and it's helped so so much. Are you attending counselling? Do you like to write? I'm an advocate for journalling, because it's what helped me explore my feelings and the reasons around them.

Also another thing my therapist says frequently is that I put too much pressure on myself. By saying I SHOULD do this, I HAVE to do that, I'm creating more pressure on myself. So perhaps you could look at if you are doing this too.

It's easy for me to say all this, and for you to read, but if you take anything from this, know that you will be ok.

PMBC

Id like to echo Makapaka
You beat it before and you can do it again. You are better prepared and know more this time.

Iseedeadpixels

I need a rant

Literally yesterday I was saying how I hoped Christmas would be more enjoyable than last year when I was out of work with bad anxiety and depression, I was actually excited for the run up.....that was until I walked into work to be told my contract was only extended until early December rather than April! I had a great job pre recession and struggled in minimum wage jobs during it. I thought I was finally settled in my last job until they ****ed me over after 4 years hence last years anxiety/depression, I got lucky and got a local job that paid very well in April and thought I would be here for a long time...now to be told I may not make it past December due to it being quiet etc! I honestly feel like giving up now, I'm in my early 30's, I should have been buying a house this month if my plans had worked out (which they never do) I feel like a failure and a waste of space

Ken.

Iseedeadpixels wrote: »

I need a rant

Literally yesterday I was saying how I hoped Christmas would be more enjoyable than last year when I was out of work with bad anxiety and depression, I was actually excited for the run up.....that was until I walked into work to be told my contract was only extended until early December rather than April! I had a great job pre recession and struggled in minimum wage jobs during it. I thought I was finally settled in my last job until they ****ed me over after 4 years hence last years anxiety/depression, I got lucky and got a local job that paid very well in April and thought I would be here for a long time...now to be told I may not make it past December due to it being quiet etc! I honestly feel like giving up now, I'm in my early 30's, I should have been buying a house this month if my plans had worked out (which they never do) I feel like a failure and a waste of space

It's a lot easier to get a job when you have a job. Get looking now and get great pleasure in telling the current job to shove their screw job.

Iseedeadpixels

ken wrote: »

It's a lot easier to get a job when you have a job. Get looking now and get great pleasure in telling the current job to shove their screw job.

Might be a problem getting free time for interviews I have time off that I want to use at xmas....if I use them for interviews and am kept on I'm fecked! Bear in mind I really want to keep this job.

DeVore

Go to the boss and tell him that. Tell him you really don't want to look for other work because you love this job and you want to keep it and it seems like they want you to stay on too. Then ask him how they can work this out between you. As an employer, that's the sort of thing I really want to hear from staff and will be much more inclined to do something to make that happen if I know that's how they feel.
What do you have to lose?

As for interviews... that's what sickies are for

mansize

Today went well. I'm quite tired now though lol 😂

Hugo Stiglitz

mansize wrote: »

Today went well. I'm quite tired now though lol 😂

Glad to hear that it went well!

mansize

Iseedeadpixels wrote: »

I need a rant

Literally yesterday I was saying how I hoped Christmas would be more enjoyable than last year when I was out of work with bad anxiety and depression, I was actually excited for the run up.....that was until I walked into work to be told my contract was only extended until early December rather than April! I had a great job pre recession and struggled in minimum wage jobs during it. I thought I was finally settled in my last job until they ****ed me over after 4 years hence last years anxiety/depression, I got lucky and got a local job that paid very well in April and thought I would be here for a long time...now to be told I may not make it past December due to it being quiet etc! I honestly feel like giving up now, I'm in my early 30's, I should have been buying a house this month if my plans had worked out (which they never do) I feel like a failure and a waste of space

lots of people in their early thirties, and forties don't own their own house, doesn't make them a failure. Hopefully things will work out, my last job ended badly when I was belittled by a work colleague, who the boss loved so I had to get out of there, I didnt let them dictate the terms, and instead of quitting i/ got redundancy. Was up and down then this year but bided my time, and this job came up. Pay isn't great, but the people seem really nice and its a short WALK to work, I used commute over 1.5 hours e/w

I remember about 3 months back feeling very bleak, in bed, avoiding the outside world. But I finally got my CBT and took my meds every day and got the strength to turn things around. I will have have dark days in the future, but hopefully I'll be identify and be better able to deal with them.

Take care of yourself, trust your doctor, get all the help you can, and things will get better. xxx

Starokan

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

But how do u kick it's ass is the billion dollar 💵 question or should I say answer

No one answer to this but just in case it helps in any way this is what I do, I say do because I am by no means fixed, I have good and bad and v bad times and now I just kind of roll with them

I'm not sure it is even possible to ever kick it's ass completely , I think all you can do is try a find your way to cope not a way but your way. If I have realised anything through my own depression battles it is that everyone's solution is different.

I tried to isolate the times I felt better or if you like less depressed and then tried to replicate those conditions as much as I could. Solitude is my saviour, I cannot be around people for long periods of time particularly family, it is not their fault in fact it makes no sense because people would kill to have a family like mine they are that nice. For me it just seems that solitude works whereas for others that would be the cause for depression.

Another thing that helped me was pure discipline in terms of trying to concentrate on the present moment, to stop my mind racing with the what if's that plague so many of us. I am talking total concentration on the task to hand be it eating, reading, having a shower etc. It took me a long time to get into this habit, I still fall out of it but when I begin to feel v bad I do my best to begin this again

I often wonder why I suffer from what I call the black days, it's always been in me, I think the root cause is in my childhood, It was not easy and instead of adversity making me stronger I became weaker I think.

I certainly helped myself when I gave up alcohol, the days I spent suffering internally because of alcohol I can never get back, it baffles me how I did not relate the two for so long to be honest.

Mantra's help me also as does exercise

I think all you can really do is find whatever pattern works for you and stick to it as much as you can, I am only posting this to show you there is a glimmer of hope when you are in the really dark place, I know the pain, I nearly ended it all on a couple of occasions, I am no success story in life if you measure it in terms of material gain but in other ways I have succeeded.

I feel your pain every time I read your post's and my heart breaks for you, all i can offer really is that you can find a way through to get to a place where it is manageable. Do not give up on the therapies etc, you need the help and within the process you may find the beginning of your way and never give up talking about it, this disease and it is a disease in my opinion is at its most potent when it is hidden

The One Doctor

Hey all,

I posted on this thread in January after having suicidal thoughts, so I started taking Pacifa, works great with no side effects! The last month has been very bumpy though as my tiny godson Senan was stillborn at 41 weeks, Gorgeous little guy and a very sad time for everyone in the family, especially his Mam, Dad & sister. Anyway, I've since learnt that there's a big difference between depression and grief.

On the positive side I'm halfway though a course to become a software tester and love it, I finally have the chance to get into a good profession and out of the crap salary cycle I was in!

Hang on guy and girls, it really does get better!

stop animal cruelty

Has anyone here had a mental breakdown?

Iv so much happening inside me I feel like im on my way to one

Insect Overlord

Never had one bad enough to end up in hospital or anything. ****ed up a few football matches over the years though.

I'm starting to find some of the ideas in Fight Club more and more appealing. Creating a personality that is capable of everything. The motivation to get in shape and accomplish great things and stop worrying about the insignificant crap that makes me anxious.

Not quite lighting fires or starting fights or making homemade explosives, but definitely becoming cooler, more stylish, more confident!