LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Gleeso_Finglas

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Has anyone here had a mental breakdown?

Iv so much happening inside me I feel like im on my way to one

I have twice. Ended up in hospital both times.

DeVore

No, but I felt like you feel now, got to a point where I felt like something was going to give and I *had* to do something. I was lucky to have people around who I talked to in confidence and I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired, like An File up there said, I just decided I was going to do whatever it took, no arguments, to get myself into a better place. I'm still fighting but I'm fighting to stay here, not to get here any more.

TheSegal

I don't know if I would call it a full mental breakdown but there was weeks where I would have panic attacks in the shower in the morning and have to go back to bed afterwards instead of going to college because I felt like my mind was crumbling, had constant bad thoughts and absolutely no confidence in any of my abilities.

It was definitely a make-or-break moment of my life where a friend who I owe a lot to told me to try counselling which turned everything around. Thinking back on it I still can't believe it took me so long to get help, I always said to myself this is how everyone must feel since I didn't know what was happening.

If you haven't reached out to someone OP please do, it will help you so much. It can be a counsellor, friend, family member or even a complete stranger here on boards.

manonboard

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Has anyone here had a mental breakdown?

Iv so much happening inside me I feel like im on my way to one

Yeah. I had at least one. Possibly two. whole brain basically had to crash for a long reboot. Definitely one of the scariest times in the world. Couldn't even handle the pressure of making myself food or washing. It was just too much.

Took me a long time to recover because quite frankly, I was incredibly unskilled at self care and kept repeating horrible destructive patterns.

As i know nothing about your circumstances, I can only blanketly and in great unawareness say to you. Do whatever it takes to eliminate any source of stresses and hardships, ask for as much help as you need, and be kind to yourself in every possible way you can imagine. You wouldn't force a sick person to carry heavy loads, why do it to your mind?

Best regards to you, Ray

Gleeso_Finglas

Had my dosage increased 2 days ago and now I'm back to getting intrusive thoughts increased anxiety and crying. I thought this should all have passed by now I'm in my 4th week. Doc wouldn't prescribe me with a benzos to help because I'm already on alot of Medication. He also would not recommend benzos because of how addictive they are bla bla bla.

Am I still early days on sertraline? I'm on 150mg. I have my cbt today but I am not pushed on going because I cannot take anything on board. Feel like I'm throwing €70 away each time.

Gleeso_Finglas

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

Sounds like you are winning Poly. I cancelled my cbt as I am not feeling well at all and don't have the head for it. I feel guilty for cancelling though.
Our son is not well today either he has man flu so the wife is looking after him and I can't drive like this so not a good day.

The only name I notice is eckhart tolle. Who are the rest? What if there is no one underlying issue and you just get like this...then what?? I've gone through years of therapy.

It sounds like it but I'll tell you a secret, just between you and me . Sometimes I get so scared. Scared about my future, scared about my present, scared for the people I love, scared of being too much, scared of not being enough, and the biggest fear of all, scared of loss. It is only sometimes though.


Irvin D Yalom is a most interesting man. He is an existential psychotherapist and writes about what he calls the Four Givens of the human condition: isolation, meaninglessness, mortality and freedom. One of his most famous books is called Love's Executioner. It's filled with tales of Yalom's experience as a therapist. Alongside his clients stories is his own journey in reconciling his human-ness (I think I made up that word ) with the nature of his therapeutic work.
Babette Rothschild is another psychotherapist. She specialises in using the body to tackle deep trauma. Her website is really good, www.somatictraumatherapy.com


Peter Levine is a bit similar to Babette. His famous book is called Waking the Tiger and introduces the concept of Somatic Experiencing. This is a form of therapy aimed at tackling PTSD and other trauma related issues by focusing on body sensations. In the book Levine talks about animals in the wild and how they face and overcome life-threatening situations. Google symptoms of trauma and the autonomic nervous system also Levine's site www.thetraumatherapistproject.com.


Have a read Gleeso and do your best to take your focus from the meds. I can totally understand why but by doing so you are forgetting to look inside of yourself. Perhaps there isn't one underlying issue, perhaps there are many or none. No therapist or drug is going to give you a quick fix. There isn't any. Instead it's a kind of journey where you really get to know yourself and accept the good with the not so good. Ask yourself right now how you feel. Really feel.

Makapakka

Can anxiety come on out of no where? I've been feeling good, but today have been a bit shakey, anxious but can't think why at all

Gleeso_Finglas

Makapakka wrote: »

Can anxiety come on out of no where? I've been feeling good, but today have been a bit shakey, anxious but can't think why at all

Yeap happens to me all the time. Out of nowhere

Iseedeadpixels

Makapakka wrote: »

Can anxiety come on out of no where? I've been feeling good, but today have been a bit shakey, anxious but can't think why at all

Usually happens to me when I've had a dream about something that usually makes me anxious, it's actually crazy the power dreams have!

Makapakka

Hmm yes I can kind of think of something might have started it off.. strange though because otherwise I'm feeling grand.. the fear of an attack frm no cause is making it worse.. also my muscles keep twitching.. think it's a side effect of my meds.. n stupidly Googled side effects of sertraline and agitation was one.. but then something called serotonin syndrome came up n said it's dangerous and muscle twitching is a side effect and now I'm scared I've booked doc appointment for tomorrow I know it's more likely I'm over reacting.. it's not nice though when things have been fine and the agitation and nervousness comes on out of the blue

Gleeso_Finglas

Makapakka wrote: »

Hmm yes I can kind of think of something might have started it off.. strange though because otherwise I'm feeling grand.. the fear of an attack frm no cause is making it worse.. also my muscles keep twitching.. think it's a side effect of my meds.. n stupidly Googled side effects of sertraline and agitation was one.. but then something called serotonin syndrome came up n said it's dangerous and muscle twitching is a side effect and now I'm scared I've booked doc appointment for tomorrow I know it's more likely I'm over reacting.. it's not nice though when things have been fine and the agitation and nervousness comes on out of the blue

What dosage are you on and how long are you on it?

Makapakka

Gleeso_Finglas wrote: »

What dosage are you on and how long are you on it?

I'm on 25mg and on it about 3 months now! I think sometimes I'm telling myself I'm OK and in my head I'm still worrying and thinking things, so last night I wrote out everything that was bothering me and I didn't get to finish but it helped me as I fell asleep instantly. Going to do the same thing tonight!

I'm resisting the urge to binge at the moment. I recognised Tuesdays make me vulnerable and tired (the aftermath of Mondays) so I'm mindful of that today. I am sick of being bloated all the time and in pain because I've over eaten. I am going to use this forum as a dumping ground for my thoughts because I don't bring my journal around with me n there are multiple times throughout te day when I want to eat junk n I've no where to write about it, so this will be it

L.Jenkins

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Has anyone here had a mental breakdown?

Iv so much happening inside me I feel like im on my way to one

In a previous job many years ago, I became so depressed and angry with how things were going and my performance, that I became violently sick. I had began coughing up blood and it was found to be the development of an ulcer. I wouldn't quit the job as it paid the bills and I was also engaged, so I couldn't let her down.

Eventually they let me go and I remember being considerably bitter, insanely angry and depressed for months. I was eventually diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Anxiety. The funny thing is, I lost another job not long after because I was still in the previous mindset, prior to diagnosis.

Now I've had multiple successful contract roles and now I'm training to be an Accountant after years in IT. All I can say it, step back and take stock of what's bothering, then work to improving on it or ridding it from your life altogether as soon as possible. Even take time off to relax and do what you want, in order to recharge. Also, if needs be, go see your GP straight away and if necessary, seek an appointment with a Counselor and or Psychiatry.

Gleeso_Finglas

Makapakka wrote: »

I'm on 25mg and on it about 3 months now! I think sometimes I'm telling myself I'm OK and in my head I'm still worrying and thinking things, so last night I wrote out everything that was bothering me and I didn't get to finish but it helped me as I fell asleep instantly. Going to do the same thing tonight!

I'm resisting the urge to binge at the moment. I recognised Tuesdays make me vulnerable and tired (the aftermath of Mondays) so I'm mindful of that today. I am sick of being bloated all the time and in pain because I've over eaten. I am going to use this forum as a dumping ground for my thoughts because I don't bring my journal around with me n there are multiple times throughout te day when I want to eat junk n I've no where to write about it, so this will be it

I'm on 150 for weeks now and losing hope man any advice?

Makapakka

So had another binge. Wasn't as panicked as the others but still over ate and felt that horrible bloaty feeling. I feel worried I'll be like this forever. I was so strong earlier.. then I went to get some veg for a salad and ended up buying lots of chocolate too I am just fed up with myself because I know I don't want to do this any more. I want to change. I had a nectarine at break time and it was so delicious. The flavours were so much more natural and sweet then the sickening taste from chocolate.. I actually hate chocolate now but the endorphins I get from it are too addictive. I was buzzing after my dance class last night so maybe the trick is to exercise daily to get that kick.. again, the thoughts of "fighting" this for my life makes me sad.. will I ever feel normal? I just wish I could cut my stomach put sometimes

Hammer89

Makapakka wrote: »

So had another binge. Wasn't as panicked as the others but still over ate and felt that horrible bloaty feeling. I feel worried I'll be like this forever. I was so strong earlier.. then I went to get some veg for a salad and ended up buying lots of chocolate too I am just fed up with myself because I know I don't want to do this any more. I want to change. I had a nectarine at break time and it was so delicious. The flavours were so much more natural and sweet then the sickening taste from chocolate.. I actually hate chocolate now but the endorphins I get from it are too addictive. I was buzzing after my dance class last night so maybe the trick is to exercise daily to get that kick.. again, the thoughts of "fighting" this for my life makes me sad.. will I ever feel normal? I just wish I could cut my stomach put sometimes

Are you struggling with weight issues? If so, I've found exercise to be very counter-productive.

I realise exercise is positive for overall mental health, but with people who binge eat I think it's detrimental to your chances of losing weight believe it or not, because if you skip a day of exercise then you'll also skip the nutrition part and that's so much more important in the weight-loss process.

You touched on it there: food is a highly addictive substance for an increasing amount of people in this country and beyond, and like any addiction, denial might play a role.

I always knew I had some demons to wrestle, but I never felt I was addicted to food - even the concept was ridiculous to me - but I was a fully-blown addict and I didn't begin to help myself until I accepted it to be a fact.

You may not even be obese, because it wasn't absolutely clear from your post, but if you are then I think therapy would go a long way. It seems like it'd be beneficial regardless because it sounds like you have a poor relationship with food and yourself.

Makapakka

Hammer89 wrote: »

Are you struggling with weight issues? If so, I've found exercise to be very counter-productive.

I realise exercise is positive for overall mental health, but with people who binge eat I think it's detrimental to your chances of losing weight believe it or not, because if you skip a day of exercise then you'll also skip the nutrition part and that's so much more important in the weight-loss process.

You touched on it there: food is a highly addictive substance for an increasing amount of people in this country and beyond, and like any addiction, denial might play a role.

I always knew I had some demons to wrestle, but I never felt I was addicted to food - even the concept was ridiculous to me - but I was a fully-blown addict and I didn't begin to help myself until I accepted it to be a fact.

You may not even be obese, because it wasn't absolutely clear from your post, but if you are then I think therapy would go a long way. It seems like it'd be beneficial regardless because it sounds like you have a poor relationship with food and yourself.

Yes I do have weight issues and would be classed as obese. I thought that I was building a good relationship with myself but I feel like the food is a hurdle I can't overcome and it is affecting my relationship with myself. The more I binge, the more I feel angry/annoyed/disappointed with myself.. I find that exercise gives me a sense of accomplishment and I feel better about myself. I've been in therapy for four years, I've been talking about my food issues for about a year and nothing has changed. I might look into speaking to a therapist who deals with food disorders.

How did you realise that you were addicted to food and what did you do to help yourself?

Thanks

Hammer89

Makapakka wrote: »

Yes I do have weight issues and would be classed as obese. I thought that I was building a good relationship with myself but I feel like the food is a hurdle I can't overcome and it is affecting my relationship with myself. The more I binge, the more I feel angry/annoyed/disappointed with myself.. I find that exercise gives me a sense of accomplishment and I feel better about myself. I've been in therapy for four years, I've been talking about my food issues for about a year and nothing has changed. I might look into speaking to a therapist who deals with food disorders.

How did you realise that you were addicted to food and what did you do to help yourself?

Thanks

I accepted the fact that I was addicted to food and began to educate myself, which is hugely important because everybody and their dog will tell you what not to eat, but not everybody can tell you what to replace the unhealthy food with. It's so important that the person knows for certain that what they're eating will lead to weight loss. If there's the slightest element of doubt, that's enough for the addict to make an excuse and abandon the whole thing.

But there was no doubt in my case. I learned about food and started a weight-loss regimen which I completely believed in, and I lost a decent amount of weight. It gets easier every week you see a change on the scales. You become a rolling stone which gathers more and more momentum the longer it rolls. The first week is absolutely vital, however, because rolling stones need a push - otherwise they're just round yokes at the top of a hill.

If you want the exact foods I ate, and the program which I ate them in, just PM me and I'd be happy to send it

candycock

Mentally and physically wrecked this week,went to doc,she gave me Prozac for anxiety an citprolim I'm just fed up now all not living n just existing.

stop animal cruelty

If theres anyone on this that have a good support behind them eg friends family etc.....it isn't half the battle. Be grateful, ye are the lucky ones that envy so much.

DeVore

Having those people is vital. But they are useless if you don't take the courageous step of *letting* them help you, of making yourself vulnerable to them.

stop animal cruelty

DeVore wrote:

Having those people is vital. But they are useless if you don't take the courageous step of *letting* them help you, of making yourself vulnerable to them.

Exactly. Not everyone has those people, to let them help you.

stop animal cruelty

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

Exactly. Not everyone has those people, to let them help you.

But ultimately getting help and getting better rests with you. Even in the most supportive of families the person who is struggling needs to help themselves., it's them who must access the services and go to their appointments.

DeVore

Yeah, its easier to do with a supportive family or friends, but in the end its something you yourself have to do. It wasn't until I got genuinely sick and tired of being sick and tired that I just did whatever the hell I was told and stuck to it, hardcore. I had the support of my sister and a very good friend who helped (particularly the friend who has been through similar himself). It made it a lot easier to have someone to share it with but ultimately its your life, your head and you've to do the heavy lifting, even a counsellor wont help you in that regard, only guide you.

benny79

Lads & ladies Im looking for some advise if yon can! As I have come to understand Depression a lot since reading this forum...

I split up with my partner of 12 years around this time last year as she was struggling with depression the last few years and last year she got really bad and it took its toll on our relationship... Which was hard on our little fella who is 7 now..

We have since got back together the last few weeks although we are taking it very slow (not my choice, but still delighted) but she has been back to her old self, total transformation as she has been so unwell for a good few years.. but she wants to go out, do things has even landed a part time job etc.. (she wouldnt be able to work full time)

Here's the thing she has been really struggling the last week as she went into hospital this time last year for a few months and it was the lowest point she was ever at.. she missed the kids, we split up, she moved out (she actually felt suicidal) etc..

I have reassured her that I am here, shes doing great, shes in a better place now, even has a job and her own independence (she got her own place all be it rent allowance) but done all this on her own..but she is afraid she is going to slip back and end up in hospital again and that is her biggest fear..

I dont know what else to do!! Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated....

benny79

benny79 wrote: »

I dont know what else to do!! Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated....

From reading your post benny it seems like you are doing everything you can. Your partner is certainly in a better place if she is now working and interested in doing things and going places.
It's completely understandable that she would be feeling a bit shaky on the anniversary of being admitted to hospital. No doubt she is scared of her new found stability wavering.

People often wonder what it is they can do to help others who are suffering. The thing is there is really little to do but offer your support and reassurance. In your case maybe take your child off for a day and let your partner do something she enjoys, maybe meet with friends for lunch. Or perhaps you could get a babysitter and the pair of you head out.

You have just reunited so spending time with her will be important for the relationship. Also makesure to look after you in all of this benny. It must have been a big blow to break up after 12 years together. It's great you have found each other again but take it handy and don't neglect yourself.

Makapakka

benny79 wrote: »

Lads & ladies Im looking for some advise if yon can! As I have come to understand Depression a lot since reading this forum...

I split up with my partner of 12 years around this time last year as she was struggling with depression the last few years and last year she got really bad and it took its toll on our relationship... Which was hard on our little fella who is 7 now..

We have since got back together the last few weeks although we are taking it very slow (not my choice, but still delighted) but she has been back to her old self, total transformation as she has been so unwell for a good few years.. but she wants to go out, do things has even landed a part time job etc.. (she wouldnt be able to work full time)

Here's the thing she has been really struggling the last week as she went into hospital this time last year for a few months and it was the lowest point she was ever at.. she missed the kids, we split up, she moved out (she actually felt suicidal) etc..

I have reassured her that I am here, shes doing great, shes in a better place now, even has a job and her own independence (she got her own place all be it rent allowance) but done all this on her own..but she is afraid she is going to slip back and end up in hospital again and that is her biggest fear..

I dont know what else to do!! Any help or advise would be greatly appreciated....

My biggest fear was slipping back to that feeling of despair, hopelessness too. I wasn't as bad as your partner but that fear kind of kept my mood low, if you know what I mean. It is something she has to realise for herself but if she does openly discuss that fear of being that bad again, tell her that if it does happen that you will be there, that she has beat it before and will beat it again. Try and make sure she has time to relax and maybe do something for herself that would build her self confidence. It's a very lonely illness but by being there for her, hopefully some of that fear will subside. Is she going to therapy?

benny79

Cheers folks, Yeah she has to attend the local health center once a month and was there Monday, She hates going there & may have triggered it cause her mood changed then.. and she ended up getting drunk Tuesday very early on (which is unlike her, shes not a big drinker) but she met up with a friend she hadnt seen in ages..who is...

I have booked us a nite away in Dublin next Friday & bringing her to see the Commitments & she is really looking forward to it... Because we are just back and taking it slow I dont want to push things as in spend every day with her on the weekends although I like too..I do take my son alot always did...

I know what you mean Persepoly I had a bit of a break down after Christmas when I tried to get back with her & found out she was kinda of seen someone! I actually went to counselling as I was in a bad way, but she has since explained that she was really sorry for hurting me that she was in a bad place and he was just there... still hurts doe but we were split up and I had a lot of anger towards her & depression at the time as I grow up with my mam having it.. (a lot of bad memories..)

I really fcukin hate depression, it had such a impact on my life and I dont fcuking suffer with it! but least I understand it a bit better and its not their fault.. Plus my partner has a heart condition so does get tried a lot which adds to her been down sometimes..

Just dont want her to worry or start drinking heavy cause she has a tendency to take coke when drunk as she wants to escape and feel normal.. then suffers with panic? attacks and feels guilty then for next few days after...

benny79

benny79 wrote: »

Cheers folks, Yeah she has to attend the local health center once a month and was there Monday, She hates going there & may have triggered it cause her mood changed then.. and she ended up getting drunk Tuesday very early on (which is unlike her, shes not a big drinker) but she met up with a friend she hadnt seen in ages..who is...

Just dont want her to worry or start drinking heavy cause she has a tendency to take coke when drunk as she wants to escape and feel normal.. then suffers with panic? attacks and feels guilty then for next few days after...

Those two parts of your post really stand out for me benny. You're doing your best for the both of you and your child. Your partner really really needs to get a handle on the drink and drugs if they are an issue. The auld coke will interact with any medication she's on. Also your little
person needs their mammy as well as you.

DeVore

Booze and drugs will cause feelings of self loathing (after the high wears off) and also drains the body of vitality (not some mystic nonsense, I mean vitamins, minerals, salts etc... you just feel worn out after a bender right?). But more than anything, it causes serotonin and noradrenaline drops in the brain... this is the ecstasy-hangover that people talk about after a night on the pills. Its bad for most people, its brutal for people with depression.

What can you do? Be positive. I don't mean you have to be Mr Motivator here, just be positive about the future. Tell her the past is the past, and you want to move on because the future looks much better, especially with her in it. The night away is a good idea, novelty has been shown to be a good counter to depression (doing something new stimulates the brain to get working and not get "stuck in a rut" so to speak).

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Communicate well, because that's a great way to bond and reassure someone, you don't need to go over old ground and I would avoid that but talking about the future with each other is a good thing imho.