LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

jammstarr

Karsini wrote: »

Thanks. To be honest, I've very few friends that I can just give a call and hang out with. So that makes it awkward too. Despite that, there are things I could do alone but just have to make myself do them.

I think a lot of people with depression are like that. Getting up and getting out is good advice but it can be the hardest thing to do at the same time.

DeVore

jammstarr wrote: »

I think a lot of people with depression are like that. Getting up and getting out is good advice but it can be the hardest thing to do at the same time.

Maybe its time to make some new ones.
You know, you can make some more friends...the world hasn't run out yet, has it? I've only got a couple and was planning to make some more this year!

I've been very fortunate, I've met some really good people this year and I'm expanding my limited circle of friends. Give it a try, strangers are friends you havent met yet.

ManCityChamps

Everyone has ups and downs in mood, but if you're wanting to die or thinking about killing yourself, there's something inherently wrong with your thoughts. The best way to eliminate this is to not think. No need for any kind of advanced meditation either, as this is founded on superstition; just sit still, stay present and don't follow the streams of thought. Best of luck to everyone.

deco nate

ManCityChamps wrote: »

Everyone has ups and downs in mood, but if you're wanting to die or thinking about killing yourself, there's something inherently wrong with your thoughts. The best way to eliminate this is to not think. No need for any kind of advanced meditation either, as this is founded on superstition; just sit still, stay present and don't follow the streams of thought. Best of luck to everyone.

this is bs,i take it you have never suffered this pain.
Sit still and dont think?!thats all you can do when your in this mood.
Sorry to all here,my first time postin in this thread.
So ill tell the truth.
Ohh,ok so.
Yesterday i came close to endin it all.
Posted some stuff on fb,and was drivin to find a nice
spot.when i started to get texts from friends in england.
Never,nor want to talk to a doctor about it.
But thats just me,i was amazed how good my friends were about it,stunned in fact.

So in the end i drove home,took a few hours out,
got on to my mates,and.well im still kickin : )

so what im sayin is,it doe's not need to be your best mate, family.
Some times it can be people you hav'nt talked to in a long time that you can open up to the most.
Well it has helped me for now.
Sometimes Its good to share.
All the best,Deco

edit:sorry think i just fed a troll

DeVore

Actually what he's saying in a way is true, staying in the moment and not allowing the mind to wander is a good idea and something I've been finding out in counselling. But not at the expense of talking to friends/loved ones.

Deco, there was a photographic display done by one of the Boardsies (SineadW) which partly prompted this thread and my face was one of the 100 posted on the walls. We were asked for a quote each and mine was "If only we knew the love others have for us just outside the box we lock ourselves in". You're story is a powerful example of that and please please dont forget... You've been almost terrifyingly honest and in such a nice way. I hope everything goes great for you my friend. Think about counselling too, because I've the same feeling as you about talking to a "doctor/shrink"... but a good friend pretty much made me go and its been a breath of fresh air. I think you owe it to yourself to fix your head and move on with your life. I hope we both find that peace.

Tom.

herisson

I had a set back today!
Basically i ended up missing an important exam because i am an idiot and thought it was later in the day..
So i went home and crawled into bed and i couldnt move and i just mentally tortured myself

Two of my friends came over and dragged me out of me and made me get up and out. I am so glad they did that im truly grateful because i would have been worse off if they hadnt...

I did end up having a better day. They did make me see the funny side of it and to be honest i am so happy they did. Even my lecturer, my mam and my sister saw the funny side of it!

It isnt the end of the world, it just derailed me slightly and im overcoming it to be honest, well im trying my best! But i can repeat so there is light at the end of the tunnell. I just need to block out negative thought so its ok...

cloud493

I am just getting... worse and worse and worse. Its absolutely ludicrous. I keep telling myself to stop being so pathetic, but there we are.

MagicMirror

Had to cancel my psych apt today because other things came up and I just can't afford it this week. Wish I hadn't had to though, I've been trying so hard to stay on top of things but now it's all just sinking in on top of me. Stress about money, family, relationships, about what happened to me- everything; all made ten times worse with the hate I feel towards myself for not being able to deal with it all.

I know I need to snap out of it and I will, but today I'm just all out of energy. I'm just so tired.

I'm sorry, I know it seems hypocritical to give support in this thread and then post like this, but it's easier to help other people than yourself. Though I don't feel like much help to anyone anymore. Sometimes it's like I see it all and feel it all, but at the same time I'm not really here - it's someone elses life. I'm not me anymore.

I need a hug so so badly, but I can't admit to anyone that I do and it's killing me.

Morag

Sometimes depression can be caused by circumstances.
Often we can change those circumstance but there are times we can't
and there is a limit to how much we can change ourselves.

Change is coming I know that, it's just around the river bend.
Guess I need to start getting myself ready so that when it
starts happening I can try make the most of the opportunities
which may come my way. In a few years time my life is going to be
different, hopefully different enough I never get as low as I have
been over the last 10 years.

Morag

MagicMirror wrote: »

Had to cancel my psych apt today because other things came up and I just can't afford it this week. Wish I hadn't had to though, I've been trying so hard to stay on top of things but now it's all just sinking in on top of me. Stress about money, family, relationships, about what happened to me- everything; all made ten times worse with the hate I feel towards myself for not being able to deal with it all.

I know I need to snap out of it and I will, but today I'm just all out of energy. I'm just so tired.

I'm sorry, I know it seems hypocritical to give support in this thread and then post like this, but it's easier to help other people than yourself. Though I don't feel like much help to anyone anymore. Sometimes it's like I see it all and feel it all, but at the same time I'm not really here - it's someone elses life. I'm not me anymore.

I need a hug so so badly, but I can't admit to anyone that I do and it's killing me.

It's not hypocritical at all.
You are just overwhelmed atm, it happens, most of us have been there.

Is there not anyone you can go get a hug off?

I know I am lucky that I come from a family who know hugs are important.
Call up to my Mam's just to get a hug isn't a werid thing to do.

MagicMirror

It's not hypocritical at all.
You are just overwhelmed atm, it happens, most of us have been there.

Is there not anyone you can go get a hug off?

I know I am lucky that I come from a family who know hugs are important.
Call up to my Mam's just to get a hug isn't a werid thing to do.

Not really. I don't have family like that. Not parents anyway. No relationship there. I was close to others but I've lost that after some things that happened with me; I had to distance myself to deal with it. It's hard for me to go to people, but I might text a friend later. I just need to try get out of my own head first, they think I'm doing better and I don't want to let them down.

Thanks though, I appreciate the kind words. I really do.

Princess Peach

Sharrow wrote: »

Sometimes depression can be caused by circumstances.
Often we can change those circumstance but there are times we can't
and there is a limit to how much we can change ourselves.

Change is coming I know that, it's just around the river bend.
Guess I need to start getting myself ready so that when it
starts happening I can try make the most of the opportunities
which may come my way. In a few years time my life is going to be
different, hopefully different enough I never get as low as I have
been over the last 10 years.

I worked really well with a counselor last year to figure out my depression was mostly caused by my circumstances. I had been living at home for a couple of years, which didn't suit me. I had a crappy job, no good friends where I lived, no motivation to do anything in my town except drink or stay home. Figuring that out was such a turnaround for me and really gave me the push to change things. Now I've moved away and gone back to college so I can get a better job.

The friends issue still gets me down, especially since the people I considered my friends back home haven't stayed in contact. But I'm making a good effort with new friends here, which is a big deal for me since I'm quite shy and anxious about it!

Still have some issues, but still working with counselors to sort them out. I still have bad days, but they turn around pretty quickly. I had a bad week a little while ago, and I think I just got really anxious about it because of my history. Didn't get out of bed and cried a few times, and I got really worried I was having a relapse. When in fact it was just I had a week off and the weather was crappy and I had nothing to do, think it was just my fear that brought me down really!

I know not everyone's depression is going to be mostly based on circumstances, but it took me years and a few counselors to figure that out.

DeVore

Princess, I snapped at you a while back because of lots of things, but thats no excuse and I'm sorry. Just felt I should say that.

jammstarr

I've had a weird feeling the last while: not happy but not sad, not too anxious but not calm either. I don't know how to describe it. It's like just existing.

DeVore

Magic, I had a really ROTTEN day yesterday. Lousy, self pitiful, narky, snappy, weepy, angry and all the rest. I collapsed into bed and slept.

I dunno what you find hypocritical about your behaviour because if YOU are... I dunno what that makes me lol!
We're all just trying to muddle through here. We all have bad days. I wish I could give you that hug because I felt almost a physical pain from needing one myself yesterday. A slept on it, got up today and decided I would just not go there today. I got out, did some stuff and talked to some mates. I'm still a bit bruised but things look a lot better in the light of a new day.

We've all been there, dont beat yourself up.

DeVore

jammstarr wrote: »

I've had a weird feeling the last while: not happy but not sad, not too anxious but not calm either. I don't know how to describe it. It's like just existing.

If it persists, then you can have a one of our club badges and a secret decoder

You seem smart, I hid it for years. Dont be dumb like me. If it continues or is repetitive, then talk to someone. Doctor, relative, friend... someone. Even us!

jammstarr

DeVore wrote: »

You seem smart, I hid it for years. Dont be dumb like me. If it continues or is repetitive, then talk to someone. Doctor, relative, friend... someone. Even us!

Thanks for the badge

I've talked to the doctors and family for years about this now. My circumstances are actually getting a tiny bit better but still. I wonder am I afraid of these changes, am I able for them? Just feeling a bit moany I suppose.

DeVore

Its ok to be a bit moany, just dont wallow in it. Sounds like you are capable of dealing with this, and EVERYONE is afraid they wont be able for the coming changes, depressive or not, every single person at their hearts heart worries that they arent up to the task.

Everyone.

I have a talk to give on Friday that should be a walk in the park but I'm still bricking it. It doesnt even matter, nothing is riding on it and I've done lots of public speaking, I'm still getting nervous... We all fear the future, its human.

DeVore

Aye Domo.... there is absolutely NO REASON whatsoever for me to get depressed, most people would swap with me in a heart-beat. Its a funny old illness... (actually, now that I look at it, not all that funny. )
Be grateful that that one thing hasnt struck your life!!

Feeona

DeVore wrote: »

I have a talk to give on Friday that should be a walk in the park but I'm still bricking it.

I was at a talk before where the speaker rounded off his speech by playing 'Simply the Best' by Tina Turner on a ghettoblaster. I was really impressed! You should definitely do that!

David Brent I think his name was.




Best of luck

Snowie

Been feeling pretty rough past few weeks.. months there lots of reasons, while things are getting to me i had to kinda part ways with some one which has left me feeling some what upset, I didn't want to but for the time being maybe its the right thing for the mean time, I hope it changes. for the way it was but at the moment it so damm hard.. and i miss her. worse in fact because I care so strongly for her! Which has my emotions up and down like a yoyo... So thats getting to me bigtime

Im going to my first coucilling session in 4 years, I know what I have to work on, Im kinda happy I think Im ready to lay the rest of my deamons to bed, I want to be focused Motivated I don't feel any of the above at all just lethargic ... which makes me feel uncomfortable..

I don't sit around all that much, i go for walks and stuff but... The next for weeks will be very interesting... Hopefully some changes will come....

jammstarr

DeVore wrote: »

I have a talk to give on Friday that should be a walk in the park but I'm still bricking it. It doesnt even matter, nothing is riding on it and I've done lots of public speaking, I'm still getting nervous... We all fear the future, its human.

Eye of the tiger man, you'll do fine

neemish

That time of the month mixed with tiredness, anxiety etc.... not good.

dyer

it's great to see this thread still going and everyone being so honest and open about their circumstances. fair play to ye

i just wanted to add something.. ive been studying as a counselor for the last 2 years and covered all the various topics most of you might have met in therapy ie, pca/cbt/psychodynamic or whatever it may be. one thing i would say is that i would urge you all to question your therapist about their methods and approaches.. (i'm saying this as someone who's been to therapy prior to actually studying it) i think it would help to dispel a lot of the superstition and resistance you might have towards it.. and even better.. research the various therapies yourself, what they entail and find one that actually feels right for YOU.

aside from all of this i've been reading lots of buddhist literature as of late.. and in between that and college i find there is a vast world of difference, as if therapy really only scratches the surface (in fact i truly believe therapy is just buddhism in a simplified language like the west has just begun to reinvent the wheel).. i know and i can see how powerful and helpful therapy can be, especially to get people started, to 'self actualise' as it were.. but what i've found is that it mostly ignores the fact that suffering is a normal part of life, as if the perception is that people need to be fixed or to escape suffering. learning to love and to 'know' and be at peace with everything that you fear and that causes your suffering, is just as important, if not more, than trying simply to be happy. you really cant have one without understanding the other.. this is what buddhism has taught me.. face your fear, face your depression, but face it with love and compassion, every second, of every minute, of every day.. if you do that diligently, you will learn to accept life as it is.. and when you do suffer, you will find it in your heart to able to laugh at yourself and not lose the plot when things go astray... it takes a lot of work, a lot of effort, i wont lie about that.. in fact we will be learning these lessons until the day we die, but a good start is half the work as they say ?

anyway.. im a tad bit drunk at this stage, so i shall digress! i just wanted to add this small bit of something ive come to learn along the way.

i wish you all the best of luck.. and send you all my love in finding your way in life.

k.p.h

I have some questions about depression. Someone who I love very much seems to be suffering at the moment. It's pretty bad but to compound the problem this person is not the most talkative and/or very good at expressing their feelings (which makes sense).

My words are having very little impact but I really want to help, actually I really need to help..! Problem is don't really know the first steps to take to get them on the right track. I just want to help point them in the right direction to get proper help and maybe lend an ear if needed. But it's the first steps to take that I can't really do, how do/should I initiate... Well I already know saying "you are unwell you should get help" has not resulted in anything. How can I approach this in a more effective way.

Lionel Messy

How do i find the motivation to look for a job or a college course? I am not suicidal, been there, tried that - i'm trying to go easy on myself. I've only started CBT, will the motivation come in time? I want to be a person who can have more self-pride. I am capable of more and i want to be liked by people, I say i don't but I do.

jammstarr

Lionel Messy wrote: »

How do i find the motivation to look for a job or a college course? I am not suicidal, been there, tried that - i'm trying to go easy on myself. I've only started CBT, will the motivation come in time? I want to be a person who can have more self-pride. I am capable of more and i want to be liked by people, I say i don't but I do.

Well put. That's me in a nutshell right there.

Benny_Cake

One thing I'm discovering about myself is that events that would have knocked me for six and led to me spending a few days hiding at home are getting a lot easier to handle since I started seeing a counsellor and taking my small dose of medication.

On my way to work on Friday, my concentration lapsed and I did a very stupid thing, rear-ending the car in front of me. It's the first time anything like that happened to me, but I know if it happened a year ago I'd be a wreck at this stage. Now, I find myself able to say - it's going to cost me quite a bit of money (only 3rd party insurance), my insurance is going to go up, and it's an inconvenience until I get my car back - but no one was hurt. Stuff happens, and it doesn't mean I'm inadequate or that there is anything wrong with me. I do need to drink a strong cup of coffee before I leave the house and drive more carefully though.

I guess the point is, that when you actually start taking action about your depression (and in my case, anxiety), it is truly amazing the progress that it is possible to make. I still have my bad days, and always will. I'm getting there though. And I should add that this has been an incredible thread, and must have provided so much support to people going through their own personal hell. Thanks to DeVore for that.

DeVore

Lionel Messy wrote: »

How do i find the motivation to look for a job or a college course? I am not suicidal, been there, tried that - i'm trying to go easy on myself. I've only started CBT, will the motivation come in time? I want to be a person who can have more self-pride. I am capable of more and i want to be liked by people, I say i don't but I do.

Start by liking yourself. After that, you are 1 ahead in the plus column because no matter who you are, some people are going to dislike you. Guaranteed.

Ont thing I'm learning (the hard way) at the moment is that while the voice in my head is saying "yeah but if they really knew you, they would walk away in disgust"... I'll never have peace. Unless I'm capable of saying "I like me, if they dont... too bad for them", and really mean it, I'll never develop positive relationships.

Thats where I am. Hope that helps.

DeVore

k.p.h wrote: »

I have some questions about depression. Someone who I love very much seems to be suffering at the moment. It's pretty bad but to compound the problem this person is not the most talkative and/or very good at expressing their feelings (which makes sense).

My words are having very little impact but I really want to help, actually I really need to help..! Problem is don't really know the first steps to take to get them on the right track. I just want to help point them in the right direction to get proper help and maybe lend an ear if needed. But it's the first steps to take that I can't really do, how do/should I initiate... Well I already know saying "you are unwell you should get help" has not resulted in anything. How can I approach this in a more effective way.

Ok, why not try a different approach. Truth is very important in reaching a depressive imho. Rather than trying to find the right thing to say, why not find the right way to listen. Maybe finding the right moment and gently saying "Hey...I'm worried about you cos things dont seem right and I'm scared and worried sick and I want to talk but I dont know how. Will you talk to me?" See if they are willing to trust you. Depressive in my experience will go miles of their way for others but wont let themselves get help, if this person thinks that they would be helping you on some level, it might unlock things and let them talk. And when they start talking, shut up and listen
There is no fixing them. *You* cant fix them, but you facilitate them fixing themselves. Talking is the first step on that road.