LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Scanlas The 2nd

MissDepressed wrote: »

Snowie wrote: »

At least your aware of it, this is crucial...

Me my self id say maybe its time you tuck control of your brain and stopped letting your mind rule your life. Remember half the time for a lack of a better word its cognitive crap which we choose to believe or disregard.

Take charge of it.. Its your life. surely your got goals and aspirations?
there in reach as far as they may see 3 therapy sessions were your truly honest with your self can pulverize old habits..

The hard part is reliving pain:)

i hope this helps

keep your chin up its never as bad as it seems, only in our heads.

How do I take control of my brain and not my mind?

I have had goals and aspirations..everyone one of them has ended in disaster..i cannot cope with anymore disappointment..i feel like i am setting myself up to fall now every time

How would life be better if you had achieved those goals?

MissDepressed

How would life be better if you had achieved those goals?

I dont know..maybe if I achieved something I would have something to live for, that I would have a purpose in life..right now I feel completely pointless

Scanlas The 2nd

MissDepressed wrote: »

How would life be better if you had achieved those goals?

I dont know..maybe if I achieved something I would have something to live for, that I would have a purpose in life..right now I feel completely pointless

Well there isn't really a point to life. It's your playground to have fun in and to do what you feel like doing. Go for a walk in nature somewhere, clear your thoughts, feel the breeze on your skin, listen to the sounds of birds and trees, become aware of your breathing. If a thought pops up let it be and let it pass.

Anyone

MissDepressed wrote: »

I dont know..maybe if I achieved something I would have something to live for, that I would have a purpose in life..right now I feel completely pointless

Try to set achievable goals. They dont have to be big/life changing things. You can set a few goals each day, small things, achievable things.

For example, tomorrow I am going to make a full,tasty dinner from scratch, tomorrow I am going to walk to the supermarket and buy what I need, tomorrow I am going to clean the bathroom.

I know these things can appear pointless, but if you achieve your goals each day, it can have a good effect on your mindset. It gets you up and doing something. Small steps....try it.

MissDepressed

Thanks guys, these may seem stupid but I got up and had a long shower and then I got dressed..it did help for afew minutes..

I just keep thinking I have been here alone for the past 3 days-how easy would it be just to end it all and no-one would even notice, for afew hours anyway. then it would be all over...i wouldnt have to try and explain my pain to confused, judgemental others anymore-it would just be over

Turtwig

MissDepressed wrote: »

Thanks guys, these may seem stupid but I got up and had a long shower and then I got dressed..it did help for afew minutes..

I just keep thinking I have been here alone for the past 3 days-how easy would it be just to end it all and no-one would even notice, for afew hours anyway. then it would be all over...i wouldnt have to try and explain my pain to confused, judgemental others anymore-it would just be over

Not everyone is judgmental. Yes there will be the odd insensitive ass hat but the majority of people you know most probably aren't judging you. If there are then there's 7 billion and counting out there who probably wont. As Dev beautifully said strangers are the friends you just haven't met yet. Try to look at things positively and I know that's hard but you gotta try. It may sound bizarre but try writing all your negative thoughts down with your non dominant hand. Convince yourself that are still far from a spent force in this world and there is so much still left for you to achieve.. Just try it, it's a fun exercise. Nobody is going to see it, nobody is going to judge, it's just going to be you having a bit of fun with yourself. And lo and behold in a few weeks you'll have mastered a skill that few in this world have bothered to master.
Negative thoughts can become habitual, but we can make new habits, and as long we keep trying that we're still in the fight. Sure it's not easy but remember that 7 billion figure? You're not alone in your struggle and you most probably never will be.

Gloomtastic!

I was at a funeral last month for a brother of some good friends. He obviously thought the same as you MissDepressed but actually carried it through.

If he could have seen the heartbreak on the faces of his little kids, his wife, his Mum, his sisters and the 1000's who attended his funeral maybe he would have reconsidered. Too late now I'm afraid.

Please don't do anything your friends and family are going to regret for the rest of their lives. Suicide really is the most selfish thing imaginable, so please please please take care of yourself.

InReality

The act of suicide has nothing to do with a person being selfish.

cloud493

InReality wrote: »

The act of suicide has nothing to do with a person being selfish.

I would agree with this.


Another weekend alone. Another week really, can't remember last time I was with friends, so to speak.

BeautyFromPain

InReality wrote: »

The act of suicide has nothing to do with a person being selfish.

Agreed 100%!

BeautyFromPain

cloud493 wrote: »

Another weekend alone. Another week really, can't remember last time I was with friends, so to speak.

Can you maybe find any clubs to join, anything that might help you meet people etc?

cloud493

Not really. I've tried clubs. And friends. And a fiance. But in the end, I'm just not a terribly desirable person to be with, apparently. Never mind eh

BeautyFromPain

cloud493 wrote: »

Not really. I've tried clubs. And friends. And a fiance. But in the end, I'm just not a terribly desirable person to be with, apparently. Never mind eh

What do you enjoy, Cloud?

Turtwig

InReality wrote: »

The act of suicide has nothing to do with a person being selfish.

No often in cases it's the opposite. Some people see it as a way of freeing others of their burden of looking after the depressive. Yeah, sure there'll be the whole mourning for the person, but the world moves on. Which would be better: Ten years spent looking after a person who's an intolerable load to carry? Or one maybe two years max mourning the loss and that person getting on with their life as normal again?

I should of course point out that the person isn't an intolerable load, but that's doesn't matter the point is the depressive feels that they are that way!

This is actually one of my criticisms I have with depression awareness. Spreading awareness of mental health and depression is vitally important. But even then some people don't really understand it any better and make too many assumptions about what they think depression is. The act of Suicide can be selfish but it's not always. From the depressive's point of view people get over grief faster than a depressive thinks they can get over a depression. Calling it selfish is simplifying it very cruelly imo.

BeautyFromPain

Jernal wrote: »

No often in cases it's the opposite. Some people see it as a way of freeing others of their burden of looking after the depressive. Yeah, sure there'll be the whole mourning for the person, but the world moves on. Which would be better: Ten years spent looking after a person who's an intolerable load to carry? Or one maybe two years max mourning the loss and that person getting on with their life as normal again?

I should of course point out that the person isn't an intolerable load, but that's doesn't matter the point is the depressive feels that they are that way!

This is actually one of my criticisms I have with depression awareness. Spreading awareness of mental health and depression is vitally important. But even then some people don't really understand it any better and make too many assumptions about what they think depression is. The act of Suicide can be selfish but it's not always. From the depressive's point of view people get over grief faster than a depressive thinks they can get over a depression. Calling it selfish is simplifying it very cruelly imo.

Agreed!

Here is a blog post that I wrote on suicide for family / friends of suicidal people to help them understand:

http://beautyfrompainblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/some-more-thoughts-on-suicide-family-friends-please-read/

I didn't mention anything about it not being selfish, but I hope that it enlightened people a little by explaining a bit about it x

cloud493

See, I can see the perspective people are talking from. Course I can, its the easiest way to look at it. But you have to put yourself, in the mindset I was in when I tried, when people try, and when they succeed,

I doubt anyone, who would do such a thing would be doing it for selfish reasons. They do it because they're sick of the pain, and they think constant nothing ness would be better. Tey do it because they want to free the people they care about from the burden of knowing them. Or, just because they want some peace. Thats not selfish, thats horrible, sinking, despairing sadness.

MissDepressed

Hi everyone, Just wanted to say thanks for getting me through last night-it was the worst one Ive had in a long time and I honestly didnt think I could fight it any longer..really comforting to see people responding to and trying to understand my thoughts..Im still feeling down today but mostly just completely drained-feel kind of I wont say Happy but satisfied with myself for winning last night..strange achievement I suppose but it took everything for me to overcome it xxx

cloud493 wrote: »

See, I can see the perspective people are talking from. Course I can, its the easiest way to look at it. But you have to put yourself, in the mindset I was in when I tried, when people try, and when they succeed,

I doubt anyone, who would do such a thing would be doing it for selfish reasons. They do it because they're sick of the pain, and they think constant nothing ness would be better. Tey do it because they want to free the people they care about from the burden of knowing them. Or, just because they want some peace. Thats not selfish, thats horrible, sinking, despairing sadness.

To whoever said suicide is selfish then they have clearly never felt suicidal or severely depressed in my opinion..It sickens me to hear people say that because that is the reason that people like me stay silent and hide away from their friends/family when they need them most for fear of being judged like this..I accept that it must be difficult to understand from an outside perspective but I cant accept that people actually believe that it is really that clear-cut..

Scanlas The 2nd

MissDepressed wrote: »

Hi everyone, Just wanted to say thanks for getting me through last night-it was the worst one Ive had in a long time and I honestly didnt think I could fight it any longer..really comforting to see people responding to and trying to understand my thoughts..Im still feeling down today but mostly just completely drained-feel kind of I wont say Happy but satisfied with myself for winning last night..strange achievement I suppose but it took everything for me to overcome it xxx

cloud493 wrote: »

See, I can see the perspective people are talking from. Course I can, its the easiest way to look at it. But you have to put yourself, in the mindset I was in when I tried, when people try, and when they succeed,

I doubt anyone, who would do such a thing would be doing it for selfish reasons. They do it because they're sick of the pain, and they think constant nothing ness would be better. Tey do it because they want to free the people they care about from the burden of knowing them. Or, just because they want some peace. Thats not selfish, thats horrible, sinking, despairing sadness.

To whoever said suicide is selfish then they have clearly never felt suicidal or severely depressed in my opinion..It sickens me to hear people say that because that is the reason that people like me stay silent and hide away from their friends/family when they need them most for fear of being judged like this..I accept that it must be difficult to understand from an outside perspective but I cant accept that people actually believe that it is really that clear-cut..

I think you should watch the below clip, I think it might help. Stick with it even if it seems not to make sense.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbj4nLOPN8o&sns=em

Gloomtastic!

Sorry if I upset anyone with my 'selfish' comment. I am extremely fortunate that I've never had depression.

If you feel that you are releasing your friends and family from the burden of your depression, would it make any difference if you asked them and they said they would prefer you alive?

Why do you never hear about assisted suicides for depressed people?

It seems to me suicide leaves those left behind with so many unanswered questions, are you not just transferring your pain to others, especially those that love you the most? Is that not selfish?

December2012

Varied wrote: »

I finally done something about myself a few months ago. I used to be a cynical grumpy auld person. My doctor recognised the symptoms and prescribed me with anti-depressants, got out of a pretty turbulent relationship recently too. I feel the best I've ever felt.

That's great: well done

December2012

My sister tried to kill herself. Took an overdose and cut her wrists.

Thankfully I found her and saved her life.

But I ended up very traumatised and couldn't cope. It led to me being treated for emotional issues and in therapy for years.

It almost destroyed me.

Yes her attempts were selfish because that's the affect her action had.

But also she didn't think she was being selfish, her days were so dark and she could not see her own precious value that she was so over run that she assumed we would be better off without her.

It's difficult.

DeVore

MissD, like I said, sometimes all I could take from a day was that tomorrow had to be better.

So come back to us now. Don't linger down there, there is nothing for you there, no great revelation no deep insight. It's not where you belong. In the language I developed for this thing in my isolation, I call it wallowing. (sounds a bit harsh, but I'm harsh with myself!)

So, well done on last night, I had one of those nights last week myself. It's hard, I know, but it's time to start to spiral towards the surface. Try to talk to someone if you can. Anyone, just phone them and say hello. You don't need to have a big deep conversation, just say hi. Take things easy, it took me time too but you have to start somewhere and sometime and it might as well be now

cloud493

it is a difficult issue, because their are two perspectives to bear in mind. But then, You have to look at it from the perspective of the person, who no longer wants to exist, how much pain it truly takes to drive a person to such an act, because it isn't selfish, and in the way they've probably twisted it, its not selfish, they're doing you a favor.

I mean, I do get it. I actually think about it quite a lot, really. But it takes such a lot of **** to get a person to that point, I couldn't ever feel someone else who tried it was selfish.

MissDepressed

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

I think you should watch the below clip, I think it might help. Stick with it even if it seems not to make sense.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hbj4nLOPN8o&sns=em

Very interesting video-have to watch it afew times to take it all in I think..But he completely hits the nail on the head with me anyway-I absolutely derive who I am from what my mind tells me, I believe everything my inner critic says. And it is so true in that one negative thought even from as far back as childhood can stick in your head thus shape the rest of your thinking from then on. I was a very quiet child and I still remember every patronising, demeaning comment whether intentional or not that was said to me like it was yesterday..its a very difficult thing to let go of thats for sure..I have attended afew cbt sessions and this is exactly the type of work we try to do..its interesting but emotionally draining all the same..It just seems so crazy that sometimes all of this depression/low self-esteem/anxiety etc can all solely be the result of afew negative thoughts in your head that you cannot fight away..its mind-boggling how severely it can affect ones life!

DeVore wrote: »

MissD, like I said, sometimes all I could take from a day was that tomorrow had to be better.

So come back to us now. Don't linger down there, there is nothing for you there, no great revelation no deep insight. It's not where you belong. In the language I developed for this thing in my isolation, I call it wallowing. (sounds a bit harsh, but I'm harsh with myself!)

So, well done on last night, I had one of those nights last week myself. It's hard, I know, but it's time to start to spiral towards the surface. Try to talk to someone if you can. Anyone, just phone them and say hello. You don't need to have a big deep conversation, just say hi. Take things easy, it took me time too but you have to start somewhere and sometime and it might as well be now

Thanks DeVore, I especially like what you say in that there is nothing down there, no great revelation-Its so so true..I suppose thats why I personally anyway beat myself up so much about being in "that" place because I know it is completely worthless..and yes as harsh as it sounds, it does feel like you are wallowing which makes it all the more frustrating I think..
I did exactly that yesterday-I rang my mother just to say hi and take me away from "my world" for awhile-there was no deep conversation, just general chit-chat..I didnt tell her how I was feeling (as I said before I just cannot put her through it again) but it definitely gave me some small sense of relief in that I was taking a small step back up to reality again..
As much as I have resisted over the last few days-I sat outside in the sun today on my own in my garden-I just closed my eyes, listened to the birds and felt this overwhelming warmth surge throughout my body-I know it was the sun of course (!) but I just found it so so comforting and it made me a little bit hopeful that maybe somebody out there is looking over me and making sure I don't leave just yet...Very philosophical I know!! But just been an emotional few days in particular...xx

neemish

This sounds mad (lol!) but I'm sitting inside on the computer and watching tv. Now I'm happy enough to be here and just chilling out but the guilt.Oh the guilt.
The sun is shining, should i be outside, i should make more of an effort on what may be the only decent weekend of the summer etc etc. You get the idea. Need to just relax and say, this is MY day off and I can do with it what I like (within reason of course). Why do I do this to myself?

Turtwig

neemish wrote: »

This sounds mad (lol!) but I'm sitting inside on the computer and watching tv. Now I'm happy enough to be here and just chilling out but the guilt.Oh the guilt.
The sun is shining, should i be outside, i should make more of an effort on what may be the only decent weekend of the summer etc etc. You get the idea. Need to just relax and say, this is MY day off and I can do with it what I like (within reason of course). Why do I do this to myself?

Feel free to call me a judgmental jerk but your guilt is just wrong. There's no rule that says you must enjoy the sun. There's also no rule that says you must anything. I don't want to drag religion into this but who are you? Who you think others think you ought to be or who you really are? So relax and enjoy your day off the way you want to.:)

Personally, when I was younger I always preferred walking in lashing rain. There was something oddly serene and relaxing about it. I used to be terrified to admit that to people. Why?

neemish

Lol thanks. Its what Devore and MissD were talking about - our inner critic telling us things that are just plain wrong. I'm trying to challenge it and just enjoy the day my own way :-)

MissDepressed

neemish wrote: »

This sounds mad (lol!) but I'm sitting inside on the computer and watching tv. Now I'm happy enough to be here and just chilling out but the guilt.Oh the guilt.
The sun is shining, should i be outside, i should make more of an effort on what may be the only decent weekend of the summer etc etc. You get the idea. Need to just relax and say, this is MY day off and I can do with it what I like (within reason of course). Why do I do this to myself?

Neemish-you took the words out of my own mouth! I am doing and feeling the exact same as that and have been the last couple of days in particular. I completely understand the guilt but like Jernal says it is not your obligation to sit out in the sun. That really annoys me because people automatically think you're weird if you dont-sorry but i dont enjoy sitting out surrounded by sweaty people while the sun physically burns my skins putting me at a huge risk for skin cancer-no thank you! Im the same, i actually think standing under rain can be so refreshing and empowering sometimes! As in my above post though-it is important to go outside-just sit in the shade, breathe in the air and relax under the cool breeze..even for afew minutes-I promise it will do you the world of good..it cant be good for our eyes either being stuck inside all day staring at a computer screen! IF you are worried bout people (like I am) it is true that days like this people are generally in such happier moods so I guess the nicer atmosphere might have a positive effect on you also..

DeVore

I've spent the entire last two days playing, and losing badly lol, at a board game in a competition (along with Nesf, who did himself proud!).
I don't feel any guilt at all about that hahah, it's my life and I'm going to live it the way that makes me happy. it's kept me from being inside my head too much, which is bad for me.

Chuffed to hear you are spinning up MissD. What I do is step back and see that getting more depressed about being depressed is only going to lead to a downward spiral. Just Say No, lol... Seriously just interrupt that voice and say "that's a cul de sac, I'm not taking that road". I take something positive like a chat with my mum or baking cookies and start from there. Spin up by using that to think positively about myself and next thing you know Im cleaning the bathroom and feeling great about it lol....
The same trick that spirals you down can spiral you up if you focus your thoughts on doing that. I don't let myself wallow, I get very stern with myself and I get up , get out, get on.

So, you took a MASSIVE step yesterday, well done you! We have all been there and we're all rooting for you.

MissDepressed

Aw thank you so much..that means alot it really does..Im just gonna read over those comments every time I feel myself falling again..the advice and kind words of wisdom here is better than any counseling session xx