LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

DeVore

Great post Raven.

When I was bad last year a friend sent me a text saying "I dont know what this thing is, and I dont know if I can help, but I *do* know that my world is better for having you in it." That sentiment of having value and the willingness to listen without prejudice or without trying to fix things in an instant is what was important for me.

Leeg17

DeVore wrote: »

Amen to that!
I always tell myself "enjoy the good days, cos you are getting the bad ones whether you like it or not "

If it's ok to ask, do you ever find that after a 'good day' you'll naturally slump into a 'bad day(s)'?

hatrickpatrick

DeVore wrote: »

Amen to that!
I always tell myself "enjoy the good days, cos you are getting the bad ones whether you like it or not "

That's some seriously good advice right there.

What astounds me about it is the short memory aspect of being depressed. You know, the way you can wake up on a bad day and somehow forget that you were smiling just the night before. When you go into depressed phases it's like you're locked into a black hole where you can't see beyond it either into the past or into the future, you forget everything you were happy about before and everything you have to look forward to. When you come out of that it's like "Well that was silly, next time I start thinking like that I'll just remember how good last week was" or something like that, but when it comes down to it once you slide into depression every memory somehow has a dark cloud hanging over it and you can't for the life of you remember ever having good times, or else they seem so long ago that they're irrelevant.

The fact that this thread has 133 pages just speaks for the unbelievable number of people who experience or have experienced this. It's heartbreaking. Hope everyone here is doing ok, I can say with confidence that it DOES eventually f*ck off and leave you alone, so hang in there and outstare it.

DeVore

Leeg17 wrote: »

If it's ok to ask, do you ever find that after a 'good day' you'll naturally slump into a 'bad day(s)'?

I'm lucky in that I dont get it too badly and lately I've been very mindful of a lot of things and seem to be getting a handle on it (*touches wood*), but I havent noticed highs leading to lows but I know a good few people who have. Looking back I cant say I've charted it particularly thoroughly so I dont know. I do know that when I'm really buzzing I take on too much and then it can lead to over-reaching and then I fail at things and that can kick things off in my head but lately now I have been mindful to say "you know, I'm going to pass on that" or "I've already got a lot on my plate" and that seems to keep that spiral from happening.

jammstarr

Leeg17 wrote: »

If it's ok to ask, do you ever find that after a 'good day' you'll naturally slump into a 'bad day(s)'?

I do find that happening a lot Lee. Sometimes you can notice it straight away while at other times you can slowly slip.

1ZRed

If you suffer from depression once or for a while in your life are you always going to wind back up there?
I'd hate to get passed it all only to relapse every now and then

southcentralts

I find it easier to deal with a bad day, like it is somewhat comforting to have a bad day, like it is the norm, but when a good day comes around it is unexpected, and I start to worry that balance must be restored to my life with some tremendously bad thing.

I have a job interview coming up in a few days and I am anxious all the time wondering how it will go wrong, instead of focusing on the positive of getting the interview and preparing for it. This is what constantly happens to me when things are going right, waiting for the other shoe to drop and the floor to be pulled from beneath me. Cannot accept the good things in life and through insecurity turn them into negatives.

So for me it is not so much a counterbalance as enduring a bad day will not necessarily be followed by a good day but a good day will sometimes be turned into a bad day without any external influences.

I have the phone number of a local psychotherapist on my table. I keep wondering whether I should call her or not.

1ZRed

1ZRed wrote: »

If you suffer from depression once or for a while in your life are you always going to wind back up there?
I'd hate to get passed it all only to relapse every now and then

1ZRed there is no guarantee that you will or will not experience depression at any point in your life. Even if you don't suffer from clinical depression or an associated condition, there are so many variables and circumstances in life that could give rise to a depressive episode.
The critical thing is to recognise when it happens, understand it is a short term event and seek help from those around you or from your doctor.

bee_keeper

DeVore wrote: »

I'm lucky in that I dont get it too badly and lately I've been very mindful of a lot of things and seem to be getting a handle on it (*touches wood*), but I havent noticed highs leading to lows but I know a good few people who have. Looking back I cant say I've charted it particularly thoroughly so I dont know. I do know that when I'm really buzzing I take on too much and then it can lead to over-reaching and then I fail at things and that can kick things off in my head but lately now I have been mindful to say "you know, I'm going to pass on that" or "I've already got a lot on my plate" and that seems to keep that spiral from happening.

having depression to me means being aware of that fact that you have it , i cant imagine ever not being aware that i have it , depression imrpoves your memory too much

Mucky.Bucky

I'm still pretty much in the same boat. Up and down but bad patches are few and far between now and overall I'm doing a lot better but I do still get down.

Like tonight, I saw pair of shoes belonging to my brother sprawled across the floor and I started sobbing. These shoes are worn and belong to a hard worker and good person. My depressive episode was caused my being mistreated from a man and unfortunately over time when there was nothing from him, I had a backlash and my reaction to his muck was severe and OTT. I was so cruel and heartless and disturbed. Anyways these shoes reminded me of Mr.Liar's and I thought what if he was indeed genuine? What if he was a good man outside of treating me like sh1te? I ended up treating him like sh1te and nobody deserves the sh1te I gave out to him. Even though he started it.

I feel so crap.

Have an appointment booked for next week. Hope it helps me to move on.

Wibbs

DeVore wrote: »

Amen to that!
I always tell myself "enjoy the good days, cos you are getting the bad ones whether you like it or not "

+1 D, A mantra we should all take on board, depressed or not.

1ZRed

Deleted User wrote: »

1ZRed there is no guarantee that you will or will not experience depression at any point in your life. Even if you don't suffer from clinical depression or an associated condition, there are so many variables and circumstances in life that could give rise to a depressive episode.
The critical thing is to recognise when it happens, understand it is a short term event and seek help from those around you or from your doctor.

Alright I get you. I don't think I'm clinically depressed at all just by circumstance like I'm on a year out before college and can't find a job to save my life so there is a huge mixture of boredom there too as well as a bit of "my life is worthless right now"

But I don't see how I can admit I'm a bit down? Feelings is not something I like discussing because I'm not that type of guy, so for a start they'd be like wtf and prob end up being more worried then they should because I told them something serious as appossed to my usual couldn't give a **** attitude. Awkward situation

a fat guy

Thanks for the advice Sarky and Raven!

They aren't as open as they first were and are now on medication. Their significant other has been around for ages now, giving quite a lot of support which they need. So far they've mainly been sleeping (They haven't slept properly in weeks, sometimes going for days without) and just relaxing with the other half. We haven't been talking much lately, but they're getting the support that they need and I'm confident that everything will be fine. It just feels weird to see someone that you've known your whole life to change like that... But I'm hoping that she'll be back to normal once she's fully recovered!

1ZRed

1ZRed wrote: »

Alright I get you. I don't think I'm clinically depressed at all just by circumstance like I'm on a year out before college and can't find a job to save my life so there is a huge mixture of boredom there too as well as a bit of "my life is worthless right now"

But I don't see how I can admit I'm a bit down? Feelings is not something I like discussing because I'm not that type of guy, so for a start they'd be like wtf and prob end up being more worried then they should because I told them something serious as appossed to my usual couldn't give a **** attitude. Awkward situation

Most people are great at putting a facade up. I am an expert myself. Have you ever tried talking to one of your group of friends. Even lads can sometimes surprise you at how understanding they can be.
Talking about it on here can help and if you ever find it all getting too much there are the likes of Aware who are very experienced listeners and will give you sound advice.

DeVore

How many people would have said I was mad to start a thread like this in AH.... allow people to surprise you.

Sarky

1ZRed wrote: »

Alright I get you. I don't think I'm clinically depressed at all just by circumstance like I'm on a year out before college and can't find a job to save my life so there is a huge mixture of boredom there too as well as a bit of "my life is worthless right now"

But I don't see how I can admit I'm a bit down? Feelings is not something I like discussing because I'm not that type of guy, so for a start they'd be like wtf and prob end up being more worried then they should because I told them something serious as appossed to my usual couldn't give a **** attitude. Awkward situation

It certainly wouldn't help if your mind is idle with boredom and unemployment. Try reading more, or writing, or doing a puzzle book, going for a regular walk or run, or something else to distract yourself. Minds need exercise as much as bodies, if they don't get it then they slow down and develop problems. The health of one affects the other, so try and get a.bit more active in any way you can. That might be all you need to start feeling better, although you'll never know if you don't try it out.

And you'd be surprised about mentioning depression to friends, you really would. I'm willing to bet more than one will respond with something like "me too".

DeVore

1ZRed wrote: »

Alright I get you. I don't think I'm clinically depressed at all just by circumstance like I'm on a year out before college and can't find a job to save my life so there is a huge mixture of boredom there too as well as a bit of "my life is worthless right now"

But I don't see how I can admit I'm a bit down? Feelings is not something I like discussing because I'm not that type of guy, so for a start they'd be like wtf and prob end up being more worried then they should because I told them something serious as appossed to my usual couldn't give a **** attitude. Awkward situation

I can completely identify. Absolutely. But you can still find someone in your life (be it a counsellor, doctor, friend or confidente) who you can take a risk with and talk to. It seems like a big risk but really its not. Its the humility to acknowledge that we all need a bit of help now and then.

As for getting it again... if you caught the flu and got past it you might never get the flu again. You can increase those odds by eating healthily, taking vitamins etc. Same with mental health imho. You can be cognoscente of the bad ways of living and look after yourself better. That doesn't guarantee anything but it does make it a lot more likely you wont get it again.

1ZRed

DeVore wrote: »

I can completely identify. Absolutely. But you can still find someone in your life (be it a counsellor, doctor, friend or confidente) who you can take a risk with and talk to. It seems like a big risk but really its not. Its the humility to acknowledge that we all need a bit of help now and then.

As for getting it again... if you caught the flu and got past it you might never get the flu again. You can increase those odds by eating healthily, taking vitamins etc. Same with mental health imho. You can be cognoscente of the bad ways of living and look after yourself better. That doesn't guarantee anything but it does make it a lot more likely you wont get it again.

Well this thread is helping already and having a solid 9 or so months of nothing to do or any purpose has kind of taken its toll on me so it's nice to get a bit of it off my shoulders. Thanks for that and the great advice guys:)

It does seem like a risk to me but I have to face it. Now I could never tell my family and I'd be reluctant to tell my friends because I dont like to be vulnerable around people so I might go to a counsellor or doctor about this.
Ffs. I've been through this telling people I'm gay.
This just seems like Coming out 2:The depression!:rolleyes:

Wattle

I think with depression or unemployment (or both) that you need to get creative. The hardest thing you can do in your day is to get those feet out of bed. Your negative thoughts are not your friend in fact they are the enemy. One of the ironies of depression is that it makes you reclusive at the exact time that you need to be around people or that you need distraction from your thoughts. I know people who have just crumbled due to losing their job. Luckily for me I don't mind some solitude. I also try and keep my mind active and interested in things. It's true that there is a lot of bad energy in this life but there's also wonder and sometimes staggering beauty too.

Princess Peach

1ZRed wrote: »

Well this thread is helping already and having a solid 9 or so months of nothing to do or any purpose has kind of taken its toll on me so it's nice to get a bit of it off my shoulders. Thanks for that and the great advice guys:)

It does seem like a risk to me but I have to face it. Now I could never tell my family and I'd be reluctant to tell my friends because I dont like to be vulnerable around people so I might go to a counsellor or doctor about this.
Ffs. I've been through this telling people I'm gay.
This just seems like Coming out 2:The depression!:rolleyes:

I totally understand! I've been getting help for almost three years now and never discussed it with my family, and very tentatively with a few friends. But doctors and counselors are confidential, so no worries there! Any step forward is a good one!

SharpshooterTom

Still thinking about all the nonsense I've been thinking about for the past few weeks. No friends, no girlfriend ever etc all that crap. I know I've been thinking about this far too much but I guess in a strange way its like I'm grieving over it because in reality I know its never going to happen.

I look fine tbh with you, nothing wrong with the way I look but I act strange, or at least somebody without confidence. Theres noway anybody will ever want me, friend or girlfriend etc. I know that.

And its living with that social isolation that is difficult. I've been living with it more or less my whole adult life and thats why I was originally considering suicide and all this nonsense back a few months ago to end it all and just help myself with the constant suffering of social pain/rejection, because I feel I'm going to be like this for the rest of my life now. I'm coming 26 now ffs how long does this go on for??

Mind you people would blame me because I avoided it, but I avoided it because I was getting signals that society didn't want me so avoided it because I thought they would prefer that way. Thats what I did in halls in 1st year, just didn't go out, avoided everyone, hardly ever went to the kitchen, just to keep them happy incase they thought I was a freak and were embarresed to have me.

Looking back now I realise that was wrong and actually made my situation worse, but I was so shy then and so certain thats what society wanted me to be back then! "Go away freak you're a loser" So I avoided it. Doing society a favor like I say.

DeVore

Its only going to be true if you accept that and play its game. I have started counselling and its made me see things a lot differently. I suggest from my experience that it could help you too.

Snowie

Karsini wrote: »

I have the phone number of a local psychotherapist on my table. I keep wondering whether I should call her or not.

Ok you have too choices...

1 continue the way your going and probably doing ok in some forms of life and maybe not so great in other forms of life...

2 You grab the bull bye the horns and wrestle it, Leaving you feeling charged confidant and able to take on the world...

Its your choice id recommend number 2 my self...

On a side note Im feeling very good about to go to the 8th session and feel very good, I feel confidant again and my sexual potency has come back with vengeance however Im learning how to work with my anger.. which isn't very easy..

i get very angry and its pretty distractive So thats my major flaw at the moment

Other then that hope your all doing well

Snowie

DeVore wrote: »

Its only going to be true if you accept that and play its game. I have started counselling and its made me see things a lot differently. I suggest from my experience that it could help you too.

Why should any one feel insane for taking control of there life and mind


probably the most sane thing you can do... :cool:

Odysseus

1ZRed wrote: »

Alright I get you. I don't think I'm clinically depressed at all just by circumstance like I'm on a year out before college and can't find a job to save my life so there is a huge mixture of boredom there too as well as a bit of "my life is worthless right now"

But I don't see how I can admit I'm a bit down? Feelings is not something I like discussing because I'm not that type of guy, so for a start they'd be like wtf and prob end up being more worried then they should because I told them something serious as appossed to my usual couldn't give a **** attitude. Awkward situation

Clinical depression is a term that means nothing. It is no a diagnosis of any type or form of depression. It can really signify anything. Useless term, the quick the better it falls out of common use.

Bottom line, it sound like you need a space to talk to someone, just to put words on things. Speaking you thoughts aloud to another person can help you see things different. Try seeing a professional just to talk.

Might even help you discover if you art depressed or it may be something different. Best of luck with it.

SharpshooterTom

DeVore wrote: »

Its only going to be true if you accept that and play its game. I have started counselling and its made me see things a lot differently. I suggest from my experience that it could help you too.

But how do I avoid it? It seems to be the inevitable path I'm heading for. Its like I was born this way and will inevitabley die this way. I have no idea how to change it since my personality just contributes to it all the time.

Its the loneliness thats killing me and feel like I'm going to lose this battle. I'm in tears about most nights tbh.

Odysseus

Gnobe wrote: »

But how do I avoid it? It seems to be the inevitable path I'm heading for. Its like I was born this way and will inevitabley die this way. I have no idea how to change it since my personality just contributes to it all the time.

Its the loneliness thats killing me and feel like I'm going to lose this battle. I'm in tears about most nights tbh.

Go and speak to a professional, it does not have to control your life.

SharpshooterTom

Odysseus wrote: »

Go and speak to a professional, it does not have to control your life.

I am speaking to a professional. I've had 6 counselling sessions in Belfast, been prescribed anti depressants, which have now been upped from 20mg to 40mg, and have psycologist appointments beginning on the 2nd of july in Strabane.

I don't know what the outcome is supposed to be, am I supposed to learn to live with it for the rest of my life? i.e. going through my life without having a friend or a girlfriend (which initially the thought had me to have a failed suicide attempt) or actually change my personailty so I become mr popular all of a sudden?

The later isn't going to happen, so I suspect its former right? Its just so depressing.

bee_keeper

Gnobe wrote: »

I am speaking to a professional. I've had 6 counselling sessions in Belfast, been prescribed anti depressants, which have now been upped from 20mg to 40mg, and have psycologist appointments beginning on the 2nd of july in Strabane.

I don't know what the outcome is supposed to be, am I supposed to learn to live with it for the rest of my life? i.e. going through my life without having a friend or a girlfriend (which initially the thought had me to have a failed suicide attempt) or actually change my personailty so I become mr popular all of a sudden?

The later isn't going to happen, so I suspect its former right? Its just so depressing.

if you have no ties , why not make some changes , i.e , move abroad for a year , be sure not to tell others you are going through personal problems while away though

what you to loose