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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!
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I find I have to "actively ignore" it. As soon as my mind wanders back to the issue, I have to be vigilant and actively say to myself "right, we're not going there!" immediately. Right at the start. Like a schoolteacher, brook no argument or prevarication, thats it, no more discussion about it.
I have found NLP to be very helpful for that, so when my brain sets of down that track I have a word I use to pull myself up short, stop the process and banish the emotions which it's dragged up which aren't really what I am feeling but the emotions which I was feeling back then on replay which will loop themselves if I don't stop it.I'm not saying that I suppress my feelings, this is only effective after "observe"... that is, let your conscious mind recognise that you are hurt, or lonely or down. Give it its due time .... but no more. When I have observed it and worked through it, then I have to put it behind me and not wallow in it.
Hope this works for you!
I found that easier said then done, having a down day or a 'blue' day ( or a couple of days to process something) can be hard cos I fear it's the start of another downward spiral.0 -
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I find I have to "actively ignore" it. As soon as my mind wanders back to the issue, I have to be vigilant and actively say to myself "right, we're not going there!" immediately. Right at the start. Like a schoolteacher, brook no argument or prevarication, thats it, no more discussion about it.
I have found NLP to be very helpful for that, so when my brain sets of down that track I have a word I use to pull myself up short, stop the process and banish the emotions which it's dragged up which aren't really what I am feeling but the emotions which I was feeling back then on replay which will loop themselves if I don't stop it.I'm not saying that I suppress my feelings, this is only effective after "observe"... that is, let your conscious mind recognise that you are hurt, or lonely or down. Give it its due time .... but no more. When I have observed it and worked through it, then I have to put it behind me and not wallow in it.
Hope this works for you!
I found that easier said then done, having a down day or a 'blue' day ( or a couple of days to process something) can be hard cos I fear it's the start of another downward spiral.
Accept it, it may be a downward spiral or it may not. Be ok with uncertainty, it's the one constant in life that never changes.0 -
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jaffacakesyum wrote: »So these were my posts from a few months ago. Turned out Snowie was right. I had the most amazing Summer away, I forgot that it was possible to feel happy. I came out to a good group of my friends and they were all brilliant. I lived with so many people that I didn't have time to be bored or depressed or lonely. Sure, I had my moments and depression never fully went away but my quality of life improved hugely.
Unfortunately, now that I'm back I can feel me slipping back into depression. I really think that the cure for me lies in being surrounded by people all the time but that's just not a realistic or healthy way to be. Of course, it's good to be sociable but I shouldn't have to rely on others to be happy
No but your aware of the fact being busy and living an active life style can...
How bad is that? You could start a hobby on evenings meet people go to the gym fire those endorphins, go see friends gym again cool off day, night out hangover day some other kinda hobby Shopping
...
and so on and so forth you dont have to be around people you've got to keep your self motivated and focused and its possible to do so it all about managing your self as a person...
But lets end this positively well done on coming out and seeing for your self you had and awesome time and you do actually sound positive so don't be to hard on your self.. If you catch your self in a destructive though pattern catch your self and affirm your self that your not going to put up with it and you want to be happy..:)0 -
ThomasFlynn wrote: »Hi again guys, this time this is going to be a positive post, so please bare with me, despite all my crying and extreme depression last night, I have just thought of something.
One of the things I have not yet learned or acquired for when things go badly wrong, i.e. when the sh!t hits the fan like last night, and like it has done lots of times in the past 4-5 months with lots of suicidal thoughts when I judge things negatively, is to be able to have an inbuilt coping mechanism. And its something I've thought about just there that I might need finally.
Take this anology, I've simplified my brain into positive and negative parts, negative, for some strange reason, I define as the colour purple (think poisonous colour), when I think negatively and suicidal, thats purple smoke filling in my head, and when I feel positive and upbeat, that I define as an orange colour (not sure why, its my favourite colour I think
).
So my job is, when I feel incredibley down hopeless like last night, depressed my life is over etc, I'm never going to get a girlfriend, the world hates me, I need to die, to acknowledge this as the purple smoke filling into my head. Decompartmentalise this, take a step back and recognise all those negative thoughts as the colour purple, I'm a loser, never had a girlfriend, virgin, can't/wont ever have a date, die a loner. Now try combat it with the orange smoke, which includes, looking to become a dentist/doctor, travelling the world, joining clubs and societies, improving social skills, attain part time job, be more social with sports clubs, all those things I wrote on the to do list on the previous page bascially.
Because I figured I don't want to be coming on here, crying ringing the samaritans, struggling to attend my lectures, can't get out of bed etc because I've simply had a bad reaction to something. Its time I needed to learn how to do deal with bad reactions like last night because we all get them, but its about time I learned how to react to them, that doesn't initially cause me to feel the need to self harm etc. Its really important.
I've had enough of me ringing samaritans (although extremely greatful for them), crying because I read something on the internet about guys who've never had a girlfriend, or have had a bad reaction from someone personally, I need to develop a coping mechanism now to when things do go wrong I can cope and function as normal in my everyday life.
So cloud out all the purple smoke with the orange smoke and recognise what that purple smoke is:
- I can't get a girlfriend
- I will die a loner
- Nobody wants to date me
- The world thinks I'm a freak
- I don't deserve friends
- I should be punished with suicide
Take a step back Thomas, these are all the purple signals swarming your head, recognise it, diffuse it with the orange colour. It can be done, come on Thomas. This is the poison in your head, and you must recognise it and learn to remove it from now on in those most darkest moments.
It's bizarre because when you read other people's thoughts you can tell they are completely irrational. Like I can read your thoughts and KNOW that no-one thinks you're a freak except yourself.
But I,who also suffers from depression, have had some of those very own thoughts about myself: People think I'm a freak, I don't deserve to be loved, would be two of my main recurring ones. It's like - why can we look at other people logically but we can't look at ourselves?
And that we all have such similiar thoughts - what is depression? - it's like a virus filling our body and we all think the same.
I'd like to find out a bit more about depression - is it a lack of some chemicals in our brain that make us feel so low all the time? Like I know the vague main reasons, but what exactly is it? And surely more research should be done rather than just numbing everyone with drugs.0 -
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4 months off anti-depression medication now. And I haven't needed any doctors appointments or had any major "down" moments for a while now.
I moved to the UK to start a Masters and first week over here has gone pretty well. But I can't help wondering if this is all just a prolonged calm before a massive storm comes along? 'Cause the thought of sinking back where I was, and possibly sinking deeper, just feels awful. If I can pull myself together once it doesn't necessarily mean I can pull myself together again. And there'll still always be nights when I start thinking of shít that has happened in the past and making myself feel crap again.
But for the mean time things are definitely looking up...or, at he very least, not looking as down as before.
/thinking aloud0 -
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Hi All,
Sorry this is really long, I just want to get as much down as I can!
I have been going to a cognative behavioural therapy (CBT) session through Aware and said I would try to keep you updated on my progress. Before I say anything I wanted to explain that I am currently on medication and have been trying to feel better for a long long time. Like many, when I feel balanced I always have it in the back of my mind that a mental storm is inevitably on the horizon.
In my first session I wasnt sure how I felt about the class because to people who have already been trying to help themselves (councelling ,medication), we have heard pretty much most of what is said. I went along last night (to my second session) , again willing to give it a chance and had a sort of epiphany after it and today.
Up until now, I have been focusing on feeling better and more importantly have been looking to get diagnosed with something - bipolar, some sort of underlying disease like thyroid problem - anything that would explain why I feel the way I feel. Even though I have heard all the things said at these CBT, its the first time I actually consciously made an effort to think and take in what was being said. My goal by going to these sessions was to try and learn ways of coping with depression which is differant from looking for answers.
One huge factor of last nights session for me (moment of clarity) came to me when I thought about the discussion on "closeness". That is, how close you feel to certain people in certain circumstances. Whether its a friend or family member. While I have known it for years, I have a bad habit of switching off when Im not working or not on the phone. I have always thought of myself as a good judge of character and as such have kept in contact with friends whom I feel are good people. But I realised that I dont trust them to remain friends if I tell them how I feel or am myself around them. I fear losing them if I amnt the "funnyman of the group". This undervalues me as a person. This led to me thinking about my friends and re-evaluating how I view them and how good a friends they have been.
Its not about judging people, its about valuing myself and I realised that there are really good friends whom I havent realised are people that deserve my time (this is the thing I am stingiest with, my time) and some friends who I have comitted time an help to, that dont really recipricate the feelings. i phoned one of my friends (whom I think I have neglected in terms of what they have been to me as a friend) and I feel so much better. I have taken control of my friendships (instead of making excuses for people) and valued my time by prioritising good friends over friends who are good people, but not always willing to try to understand me.
These are habits I have gotten into and they are vital in my understanding why I feel the way I do so regularly. I thought about the times when I feel closer to my wife on the phone then I do when actually beside her or in bed. The reason is because I am emotionally connected in a phone conversation but when I am beside her in the house I am "switched off" to power down my overactive mind and as such I am not really giving my wife the concentration that you need to have a meaningful relationship. Thats not to say that we dont have a great relationship (we really do) , but for me I have always wanted a more deep relationship and by some of my default bad habits (like switching off) I have worked against what I instinctively crave (a really close emotional relationship with my wife, family and friends).
Another thing that has come to me is that you can learn to try and reduce the impact depression can have on your life. But you have to want it, be willing to try out things (within reason
) and you have to pick yourself up if you fall down (not an easy thing to do).
Much of our thought process is habit. Im having a good day and something negative happens - United lose a game, my wife doesnt put out (never happens to me, Im irresistable) or something minor upsets/dissapoints you. Suddenly your day has gone to sh*t and everything you think about is awful. The country is f*cked, the dogs got fleas, the garden has to be cut, the gas prices are going up . . . .Oh bollix, the world is an ugly place with nothing redeeming, I feel sick, Im going to bed.
That is not the thought process of everybody but it can be the thought process of those of us that can, all to easily, fall into a negative trap that is compounded like a snowball down a hill, by turning a sunny day into the 100 year storm.
Im sorry to stop here, but I know this post is already very long and dont want to bore people (too late!). In summary, I have found the CBT class helpful (thus far) in a way that I had hoped it might, but not in the way I thought it would be. I was slektical going in, thinking that I wouldnt find answers to my problems and in truth I havent found out or heard anything I havent heard before. But what it has helped me do is feel like I can plan and try to get into good habits to try to come back to reality, feel like I am living again, connected to my family. Ive comitted time to thinking about how I feel and why I might feel that way and this course has helped, in a very simple way, look at everyday events that can change my whole day/week/month. I cant say if it will work in the longterm, but I feel for the first time , possibly ever, that I might be able to manage how I feel and that while I may regress and have my weeks/months when I just cant get going, I might be able to learn to cope and have more good then bad days. .
Link to the free CBT course . .
http://www.aware.ie//help/support/awares_life_skills_programme/0 -
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Mucky.Bucky wrote: »It's been ages since I posted.
Depression is still with me. It's up and down. Some days good. Some days bad. My mind is fcuked. My head heavy. There are big question marks still hanging over me like anchors weighing me down. There's an emptyiness inside of me. A **** loads of anxiety. So so so so so tired. Painful. Emotional pain. No end in sight. A wanting to die.
PM sent.
We will all find our way home from the darkness, No matter how on the edge you are, it is perfectly possible to resist suicide because we are all a oneness here on this particular thread and we can perfectly relate to each other.
The name of this song below is.. i'll find my way home. I found my way home not too long ago and i'm positive you will. Be safe and the best wishes ZENNO Your friend is close by your side.
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