LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

delthedriver

delthedriver wrote: »

No, please don't run away to the circus.

Please examine your life at present. What is important to you? I guess getting through your course to achieve your academic goals. So keep going.

As for your so called friends, how important are they to you.? Any friend who does not consider it worthwhile talking to you during a period of depression, in my opinion is not worth calling a friend. A true friend would be there for you when you are depressed or not.

Concentrate on getting yourself well, get on with your studies and appreciate the friends who support you.

By posting here you have just made a pile of new friends who support each other. We are here for you , so please keep posting. Best wishes.

Pretty much the only mate I had so it's a bit of a bastard now. :P

Nah see this is the thing, nothing positive ever gets in. For about a minute I was delighted seeing that I was doing well but then I just feel like a dick because others were working their nuts off while I read a book or watch TV or distract them (not maliciously).

As I think I've said before on this thread, talking doesn't and hasn't helped me. I need a vent now and then but generally talking to just makes me overthink even more than usual. Good thing about the last while has been not having time to think but soon enough I will and I'm really not looking forward to it.

Siuin

Siuin wrote: »

I decided to shut down my facebook today because I realised that looking at other people's lives (or at least, what they choose to show us of them) is making me depressed, yet has become strangely addictive for me.

I'm hoping to spend the time I now have offline doing something productive and improving myself as a person. For too long I've relied on 'internet friendships' yet they simply don't provide the support and personal interaction a person needs.

Siuin, I don't really know you at all (don't think we've ever crossed paths), but I know exactly how you're feeling there. I often used "internet friendships" (as you described them) to try to fill a void in my life but it just doesn't work most of the time. Sometimes I did wonder how my life would have progressed without the internet at all.

For me, I had to start making myself more visible in the real world. It wasn't easy but I'm doing much better than I was at this time last year. I still have friends online, some of whom I do know in real life too, but it's not my sole outlet anymore.

delthedriver

Deleted User wrote: »

Pretty much the only mate I had so it's a bit of a bastard now. :P

Nah see this is the thing, nothing positive ever gets in. For about a minute I was delighted seeing that I was doing well but then I just feel like a dick because others were working their nuts off while I read a book or watch TV or distract them (not maliciously).

As I think I've said before on this thread, talking doesn't and hasn't helped me. I need a vent now and then but generally talking to just makes me overthink even more than usual. Good thing about the last while has been not having time to think but soon enough I will and I'm really not looking forward to it.

Sorry, but it is not your fault if you don't have to work as hard as the others to pass your exams, while others are working their backs off. That is not your problem.
What type of vents have you in mind?
Regarding your depression, what are you doing about it?
Have you involved your GP? What is your GP recommending you do?
If you are not already talking to aGP, I suggest making an appointment and discussing the issues with him.

delthedriver

Karsini wrote: »

Siuin, I don't really know you at all (don't think we've ever crossed paths), but I know exactly how you're feeling there. I often used "internet friendships" (as you described them) to try to fill a void in my life but it just doesn't work most of the time. Sometimes I did wonder how my life would have progressed without the internet at all.

For me, I had to start making myself more visible in the real world. It wasn't easy but I'm doing much better than I was at this time last year. I still have friends online, some of whom I do know in real life too, but it's not my sole outlet anymore.

Agree, it is very important to be seen in the real world. It does not mean losing your Internet friendships. As we go along life's path, interests, friendships and priorities can change. Remember life is for living, one day at a time!

cloud493

I have a lot of internet friends as well. But you guys are right, its not the same. And for me at least, its not enough.

I've been trying the past few weeks, to make an effort to hang out with people from college, since I've been feeling so lonely. And I'm really finding not drinking is a huge barrier. I mean none of them are unpleasant to me about it at all, but it just is.

I don't drink either. I can find it awkward on nights out when everyone is hammered and I'm there thinking "wtf is going on?" but generally it passes. I'm never pushed into drinking either, so it's grand.

galwayjohn89

cloud493 wrote: »

I have a lot of internet friends as well. But you guys are right, its not the same. And for me at least, its not enough.

I've been trying the past few weeks, to make an effort to hang out with people from college, since I've been feeling so lonely. And I'm really finding not drinking is a huge barrier. I mean none of them are unpleasant to me about it at all, but it just is.

Sounds like I'm in the same boat as you. I have decided to give up drinking as it just never ended well. Noone really says anything too bad, just the oh you're not drinking. In my group of friends pretty much everything is based around drinking. There all out tonight but I just couldn't hack it. Now, I'm alone and home and feel crap.

Siuin

cloud493 wrote: »

I have a lot of internet friends as well. But you guys are right, its not the same. And for me at least, its not enough.

I've been trying the past few weeks, to make an effort to hang out with people from college, since I've been feeling so lonely. And I'm really finding not drinking is a huge barrier. I mean none of them are unpleasant to me about it at all, but it just is.

I'm in the *exact* same position! There are events I could go to and societies I could join, but I've really just been lacking the motivation. I'm also a non-drinker (finally- I'm not the only one :P) - I find the biggest issue is not not drinking, but being around drunk people and therefore not having particularly engaging interactions...

cloud493

Yes exactly. Like, thursday night. We were round someones house, she made stir fry. They were all drunk by 9 in the evening. And they were talking about the stir fry, and laughing themselves stupid and having a good time. And I didn't get it at all. Bit of a downer like, ended up leaving to get the last bus home, they're all still there on some mad session. Its like, you feel like a fuddy duddy.

Sierra 117

I don't drink alcohol either so nights out with the lads from college never really did anything for me. They're a sound bunch of lads and all but after they've had a few drinks, I begin to feel left out of the conversation. Not that it's their fault or anything but that's just how it is.

Siuin

Karsini wrote: »

Siuin, I don't really know you at all (don't think we've ever crossed paths), but I know exactly how you're feeling there. I often used "internet friendships" (as you described them) to try to fill a void in my life but it just doesn't work most of the time. Sometimes I did wonder how my life would have progressed without the internet at all.

For me, I had to start making myself more visible in the real world. It wasn't easy but I'm doing much better than I was at this time last year. I still have friends online, some of whom I do know in real life too, but it's not my sole outlet anymore.

I didn't realise it would be such a difficult thing to give up- I have quite a lot of friends from abroad and I just never thought about how much I *needed* their attention, validation and sense of 'companionship' online to get by. It's strange, facebook's only been in my life for, what- 4 years? Yet it's so hard to imagine life without it. I 100% agree that it's about making ones self more visible in the real world (not an easy transition by any stretch of the imagination!). I commend you for taking the step- just hope I can stay away from facebook as it really was doing me more harm than good...

I just kept comparing myself to my friends and I realised that it's really unhealthy. When my female friends are putting up pictures of nights out with them all dolled up and looking gorgeous I felt really inadequate. Also, facebook was filled with a lot of my ex's friends who were unfriending me slowly and it was rather painful as there was a time when they were 'our' friends... I figured best thing was just to cut the cord and start afresh. Fingers crossed it'll make a difference.

delthedriver

cloud493 wrote: »

I have a lot of internet friends as well. But you guys are right, its not the same. And for me at least, its not enough.

I've been trying the past few weeks, to make an effort to hang out with people from college, since I've been feeling so lonely. And I'm really finding not drinking is a huge barrier. I mean none of them are unpleasant to me about it at all, but it just is.

Hey, I am a non drinker myself. It hasn't been a barrier to making friendships.

Whatever should they say anything to you about not drinking.? None of their business. However they may secretly admire the fact that you do not need to resort to alcohol to be out enjoying yourself

If you are feeling uncomfortable in the college drink culture, are there any groups within college with a good social aspect? Drama, Music, Choir, hill walking group, debating society Sports Groups?

I do not recommend drinking because you perceive a barrier between you and your friends. Personally I believe too many young people are consuming way too much alcohol.

Continue to be yourself and enjoy life.

delthedriver

delthedriver wrote: »

Sorry, but it is not your fault if you don't have to work as hard as the others to pass your exams, while others are working their backs off. That is not your problem.
What type of vents have you in mind?
Regarding your depression, what are you doing about it?
Have you involved your GP? What is your GP recommending you do?
If you are not already talking to aGP, I suggest making an appointment and discussing the issues with him.

It's not just that. As well as everything else because it's handy I don't get a sense of accomplishment or whatever ya want to call it. Also I quit smoking and bar the first week it hasn't been particularly hard. Meh.
I just meant I was venting on this. I don't see any value in constantly talking about it or analysing it because it's never helped before and often seems to make it worse, sometimes I just want to say it though.
Not on anything at the moment. Was on SSRIs before and didn't like them. Have used up free counselling etc. and short of slashing my wrists basically all that's available to me is more SSRIs and the ****tiness they entail.

galwayjohn89

Deleted User wrote: »

It's not just that. As well as everything else because it's handy I don't get a sense of accomplishment or whatever ya want to call it..

I think I'm the same. I am apparently an overachiever, I put in no effort and do well. Which then causes everyone around me who puts in loads of effort to dislike me. I don't get any real satisfaction from doing well and see myself as a failure for some reason.

delthedriver

cloud493 wrote: »

I have a lot of internet friends as well. But you guys are right, its not the same. And for me at least, its not enough.

I've been trying the past few weeks, to make an effort to hang out with people from college, since I've been feeling so lonely. And I'm really finding not drinking is a huge barrier. I mean none of them are unpleasant to me about it at all, but it just is.

Hey, I am a non drinker myself. It hasn't been a barrier to making friendships.

Whatever should they say anything to you about not drinking.? None of their business. However they may secretly admire the fact that you do not need to resort to alcohol to be out enjoying yourself

If you are feeling uncomfortable in the college drink culture, are there any groups within college with a good social aspect? Drama, Music, Choir, hill walking group, debating society Sports Groups?

I do not recommend drinking because you perceive a barrier between you and your friends. Personally I believe too many young people are consuming way too much alcohol.

Continue to be yourself and enjoy life.

Vuzuggu

Vuzuggu wrote: »

I think I'm the same. I am apparently an overachiever, I put in no effort and do well. Which then causes everyone around me who puts in loads of effort to dislike me. I don't get any real satisfaction from doing well and see myself as a failure for some reason.

Yeah be careful with that, I felt like that when I was 14/15 and went full retard and it's taken me nearly a decade to get back to where I was. Obviously when talking in general I say it was just boredom that made me get that way.

delthedriver

Deleted User wrote: »

It's not just that. As well as everything else because it's handy I don't get a sense of accomplishment or whatever ya want to call it. Also I quit smoking and bar the first week it hasn't been particularly hard. Meh.
I just meant I was venting on this. I don't see any value in constantly talking about it or analysing it because it's never helped before and often seems to make it worse, sometimes I just want to say it though.
Not on anything at the moment. Was on SSRIs before and didn't like them. Have used up free counselling etc. and short of slashing my wrists basically all that's available to me is more SSRIs and the ****tiness they entail.

Chill ! Can you occupy your spare time with some Physical Activity? Join a gym or sports club. Is there any voluntary work you could do in your local community or a charity. Enjoy life..... You have lots to offer. Definitely no need to run away with the circus.Be kind to yourself. But please stay in contact with your GP. They are your best friend when you are in trouble.

delthedriver

cloud493 wrote: »

I have a lot of internet friends as well. But you guys are right, its not the same. And for me at least, its not enough.

I've been trying the past few weeks, to make an effort to hang out with people from college, since I've been feeling so lonely. And I'm really finding not drinking is a huge barrier. I mean none of them are unpleasant to me about it at all, but it just is.

Interesting there have been a number of posters this pm who are nondrinkers. Perhaps we are not such a tiny minority after all. Sometimes I believe we get too concerned about what people think of us. Do you think your friends , if they are friends are concerned about whether or not we consume alcohol or not.
Perhaps if we look at it from a different perspective, alcohol is a drug like tobacco. Are either of them something you wish to endanger your health with. My guess is no. So like the other poster I say enjoy life, there is a lot of living to be done. Get out there and enjoy yourself , each and every day.

delthedriver

delthedriver wrote: »

Chill ! Can you occupy your spare time with some Physical Activity? Join a gym or sports club. Is there any voluntary work you could do in your local community or a charity. Enjoy life..... You have lots to offer. Definitely no need to run away with the circus.Be kind to yourself. But please stay in contact with your GP. They are your best friend when you are in trouble.

It's a long time since I felt like being dramatic so I doubt it'll make a massive difference.

cloud493

I don't know any non drinkers not off the internet though

cloud493

cloud493 wrote: »

I don't know any non drinkers not off the internet though

I think I'm the same actually.

delthedriver

Vuzuggu wrote: »

I think I'm the same. I am apparently an overachiever, I put in no effort and do well. Which then causes everyone around me who puts in loads of effort to dislike me. I don't get any real satisfaction from doing well and see myself as a failure for some reason.

Great , you are an over achiever. You must therefore have lots of spare time to use up. Can you use it wisely in order to gain personal satisfaction. Can you assist in voluntary work in your local community or help coach your former schools football team. You are most certainly not a failure. You need to harness all your skills and talents more productively, which will give you a more rewarding sense of achievement. Enjoy life !

delthedriver

Deleted User wrote: »

It's a long time since I felt like being dramatic so I doubt it'll make a massive difference.

What do you want in life?

delthedriver

Karsini wrote: »

I think I'm the same actually.

Cloud 493 and Karsini , I think you guys need to meet up for some really great coffee. Why not?

Siuin , would you meet the guys above for a great coffee and a chat?

Hey, I am willing to meet all of you for coffee and a chat.

Please Pm if you think it is something you are interested in doing

Ps if there are any other non drinkers who posted tonight., please feel free to comment and join in. The more the better, just think by having an informal meet up might help all.

If you think it is a non runner , I won't be upset, I have skin like a crocodile

Cliona99

I just wanted to say I don't really drink either It's really nice to not be the only one! I had one drink on my birthday because my friends really insisted and I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself. But vodka in coke just makes me wonder 'why am I ruining this coke!?'

Del, sorry you're not well. Hope you get some sleep tonight and good news tomorrow.

Pat X

delthedriver wrote: »

..... I think you guys need to meet up for some really great coffee.

Really* great coffee?! Replace one addiction with another?

*If you have to ask, don't ask .....

cloud493

I don't drink coffee. Nice cuppa of tea

delthedriver

cloud493 wrote: »

I don't drink coffee. Nice cuppa of tea

No problem!

delthedriver

delthedriver wrote: »

Cloud 493 and Karsini , I think you guys need to meet up for some really great coffee. Why not?

Siuin , would you meet the guys above for a great coffee and a chat?

Hey, I am willing to meet all of you for coffee and a chat.

Please Pm if you think it is something you are interested in doing

Ps if there are any other non drinkers who posted tonight., please feel free to comment and join in. The more the better, just think by having an informal meet up might help all.

If you think it is a non runner , I won't be upset, I have skin like a crocodile

If anyone would prefer tea, no problem!

delthedriver

Cliona99 wrote: »

I just wanted to say I don't really drink either It's really nice to not be the only one! I had one drink on my birthday because my friends really insisted and I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself. But vodka in coke just makes me wonder 'why am I ruining this coke!?'

Del, sorry you're not well. Hope you get some sleep tonight and good news tomorrow.

Cliona, thank you for your good wishes

Sincerely
Del