LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

DeVore

I rarely drink these days (says he with a sore head from a bottle of wine last night), as I find that it sometimes triggers a low mood.

I drink coffee like its going out of fashion though!

Sierra 117

I find I drink a lot of tea when I'm feeling low. I'm not sure why, maybe it's just to give myself something to do.

I saw my GP on Friday and he agreed that putting me back on anti-depressants was a good idea. It'll take a couple of weeks for them to really start working but hopefully they'll give me some relief.

Wibbs

Sierra 117 wrote: »

I find I drink a lot of tea when I'm feeling low. I'm not sure why, maybe it's just to give myself something to do.

Ditto. If I'm stressed or browned off, while nothing like the folks here are going through and working through, I do chug the old tea at those times. It was someone else who pointed it out. I used to look at coffee drinkers and say with a smile "caffeine addict eh", until the same person pointed out I could go 10 or more cups of strong black tea a day, with nicotine chasers. Chain drinking To illustrate she gave me a mug of espresso(I never drink coffee) and it barely touched the sides. *stands up* Yep my name is Wibbs and I'm a caffeine addict. :)

delthedriver

Sierra 117 wrote: »

I find I drink a lot of tea when I'm feeling low. I'm not sure why, maybe it's just to give myself something to do.

I saw my GP on Friday and he agreed that putting me back on anti-depressants was a good idea. It'll take a couple of weeks for them to really start working but hopefully they'll give me some relief.

Perhaps it is the warm comforting taste of tea.
Well done, delighted you had meeting with your GP, which has had a very positive outcome. In a couple of weeks you should start feeling much better.
Have you tried any of the any of the herbal teas? Camomile tea can aid relaxation., worth trying.
Stay well
Best wishes

Sierra 117

I've been meaning to try some natural relaxation remedies. I'm not sure how well they work but I'm willing to give anything a shot if it helps ease my anxiety.

delthedriver

Sierra 117 wrote: »

I've been meaning to try some natural relaxation remedies. I'm not sure how well they work but I'm willing to give anything a shot if it helps ease my anxiety.

Relaxing, listening to music whilst drinking herbal tea. Nothing like it.

There is a fantastic range of herbal teas now available, in supermarkets and health food shops.

Enjoy.

delthedriver

Cliona99 wrote: »

I just wanted to say I don't really drink either It's really nice to not be the only one! I had one drink on my birthday because my friends really insisted and I didn't want to draw too much attention to myself. But vodka in coke just makes me wonder 'why am I ruining this coke!?'

Del, sorry you're not well. Hope you get some sleep tonight and good news tomorrow.

Thanks Cliona,

Test did not go so well . Have been held back for further tests tomorrow and possibly Tuesday.
Difficulty swallowing soft food, pain in tummy. Esophagus inflamed , quite uncomfortable. could be worse.
Just saying to all you posters to take great care of your psychological health, otherwise it will start interfering with your physical health.
Have a good week

Sierra 117

I hope you feel better soon delthedriver.

delthedriver

More tests yesterday which I think went well.
Awaiting results and meeting with my Consultant, later today.
Thankfully feeling a good deal better.

Hope you guys are doing well:)

Cliona99

Glad you're feeling a bit better, but sorry you're still stuck in hospital
Best of luck today.

JupiterKid

Pretty much zero motivation today.

Like yesterday, spent the day in bed. Mood very flat and too anxious to leave the house. I know it will pass but still it's a bummer. At least I can access the Internet on my iPhone.

I know it's Pancake Tuesday but I don't even feel in the mood to eat.

delthedriver

JupiterKid wrote: »

Pretty much zero motivation today.

Like yesterday, spent the day in bed. Mood very flat and too anxious to leave the house. I know it will pass but still it's a bummer. At least I can access the Internet on my iPhone.

I know it's Pancake Tuesday but I don't even feel in the mood to eat.

Just relax, rest,take it easy and be kind to yourself.

Tomorrow is another day , you can still have pancakes tomorrow if you feel so inclined.

Please try and eat something, event tea and toast or a nice yoghurt . It is important to eat something light in order to Protect the lining of your stomach and digestive tract.

The low mood will pass ,meanwhile stay in touch with your friends here who understand how you feel and wish the best for you.

delthedriver

Cliona99 wrote: »

Glad you're feeling a bit better, but sorry you're still stuck in hospital
Best of luck today.

Thank you Cliona & friends,
Released from hospital this afternoon,thankfully managed to avoid surgery.
Digestive system inflamed due to acid reflux caused by stress.thankfully it can be dealt with by high doses of medication. Much better alternative to surgery.
Friends please take great care, stress and depression can impact on your physical health. Regular meetings with your medical advisors is essential while we travel on this bumpy road. Regular exercise together with a healthy balanced diet are essential as part of your ongoing recovery plan. I also need to get back to living in the Now!
Best wishes to all

Sierra 117

I've been feeling a lot better over the past few days. I'm not sure if it's the anti-depressants since I've only been on them for a week but whatever it is, it's nice to be feeling more like myself again.

delthedriver

Sierra 117 wrote: »

I've been feeling a lot better over the past few days. I'm not sure if it's the anti-depressants since I've only been on them for a week but whatever it is, it's nice to be feeling more like myself again.

Delighted to hear you are feeling a lot better. Keep up the good work.
When the meds kick in you will be well on the road to recovery.
Well done

awny

Ive been a member of boards for ages but this is the first time ive had to post in a forum regarding depression. I suppose Im looking for a bit of advice or reassurance.

My boyfriend of 4 years has suffered depression at the various times through his life (at a young age when bullied in primary school, a couple of months during university). When we first got together the depression rarely surfaced, but I saw my boyfriend lose the plot over things 3 or 4 times over a 3 year period ( when he was stressed) . Myself and my BF had nasty break-up which lasted 5 months in 2011 and although a lot of things happened during the break, were have come out much stronger.

When we were initally together my bf never mentioned his battles with depression because as he said himself, he was afraid I would run. Since we have got back together, he has explained his feelings and his depression. I am grateful that he felt he could tell me but Ive noticed that moods are more noticable now, as I imagine he feels he doesnt have to hide it anymore.

Things were excellent when we got back together but over the last 6 months, I have watched him drift into a sustained depressive episode. Not that he is depressed all day long or anything, but seems sad a lot, low sex drive etc. No interest in wkends away which we always did and prefers to stay in etc.

Where I notice a marked difference in him is when we have an argument. He cant handle it, shuts down and this makes communication difficult. This is not always if we have an arguement but something could happen in work, with neighbours etc and triggers it. He has the equivalent of a meltdown, and talks about being unhappy. He has told me that he cannot pinpoint what exactly is making him unhappy (me, work etc) and describes feeling a sad sensation most of the time. We get on very well together but I notice that he doesnt laugh as much as he used to, he doesnt get excited and has no interest in doing anything.

I am full sure he is suffering from depression and I believe it has stemmed from our original break up. He has never had professional help and I am trying to help him to get help. The whole situation came to a head on sunday night, where I got the shock of my life when my bf explained exactly the feelings he gets. He describes himself as having no feelings whatsoever most of the time. Doesnt feel happy, sad, cant cry, has no emotion to show and feels nothing. Says he finds that he is emotionally detached from everything (including me) and says he doesnt feel himself. Feels like hes not the same person that he was with me, when he goes out with friends etc. He wants his old self back.

One thing which particularly hurt me( he didnt say this to hurt me but he described how he was feeling and this came out). He has said that always said im the one for him, he says that he still says that but he doesnt feel it, he feels no emotion at all in general. He said he wants to feel like how he used. He seems emotionally crippled I suppose.

I suppose Im writing this because I want to know if these feelings are a result of his depression. Ive told him that Ill support him and that we are going to get him help. But now I have a fear, what if is doesnt feel like how he used and this is not a result of his depression? I suppose I am hoping that if he gets the help he needs that his feelings and emotions will go back to normal, but is this being overly hopeful? Like ive said I want to support him and help him in any way but I am afraid that his feelings are diminished forever.

Any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks x

delthedriver

awny wrote: »

Ive been a member of boards for ages but this is the first time ive had to post in a forum regarding depression. I suppose Im looking for a bit of advice or reassurance.

My boyfriend of 4 years has suffered depression at the various times through his life (at a young age when bullied in primary school, a couple of months during university). When we first got together the depression rarely surfaced, but I saw my boyfriend lose the plot over things 3 or 4 times over a 3 year period ( when he was stressed) . Myself and my BF had nasty break-up which lasted 5 months in 2011 and although a lot of things happened during the break, were have come out much stronger.

When we were initally together my bf never mentioned his battles with depression because as he said himself, he was afraid I would run. Since we have got back together, he has explained his feelings and his depression. I am grateful that he felt he could tell me but Ive noticed that moods are more noticable now, as I imagine he feels he doesnt have to hide it anymore.

Things were excellent when we got back together but over the last 6 months, I have watched him drift into a sustained depressive episode. Not that he is depressed all day long or anything, but seems sad a lot, low sex drive etc. No interest in wkends away which we always did and prefers to stay in etc.

Where I notice a marked difference in him is when we have an argument. He cant handle it, shuts down and this makes communication difficult. This is not always if we have an arguement but something could happen in work, with neighbours etc and triggers it. He has the equivalent of a meltdown, and talks about being unhappy. He has told me that he cannot pinpoint what exactly is making him unhappy (me, work etc) and describes feeling a sad sensation most of the time. We get on very well together but I notice that he doesnt laugh as much as he used to, he doesnt get excited and has no interest in doing anything.

I am full sure he is suffering from depression and I believe it has stemmed from our original break up. He has never had professional help and I am trying to help him to get help. The whole situation came to a head on sunday night, where I got the shock of my life when my bf explained exactly the feelings he gets. He describes himself as having no feelings whatsoever most of the time. Doesnt feel happy, sad, cant cry, has no emotion to show and feels nothing. Says he finds that he is emotionally detached from everything (including me) and says he doesnt feel himself. Feels like hes not the same person that he was with me, when he goes out with friends etc. He wants his old self back.

One thing which particularly hurt me( he didnt say this to hurt me but he described how he was feeling and this came out). He has said that always said im the one for him, he says that he still says that but he doesnt feel it, he feels no emotion at all in general. He said he wants to feel like how he used. He seems emotionally crippled I suppose.

I suppose Im writing this because I want to know if these feelings are a result of his depression. Ive told him that Ill support him and that we are going to get him help. But now I have a fear, what if is doesnt feel like how he used and this is not a result of his depression? I suppose I am hoping that if he gets the help he needs that his feelings and emotions will go back to normal, but is this being overly hopeful? Like ive said I want to support him and help him in any way but I am afraid that his feelings are diminished forever.

Any advice or comments would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks x

Well done on taking the big step of writing here on Boards.
Your boyfriend is certainly in need of professional help.
He is extremely lucky in that he has obviously a wonderful girlfriend who loves him dearly and supports him.
Obviously you wish to continue your relationship and support in getting this wonderful man back on track.
Ideally the first place to start would be his GP. He needs to get the advice and support of a GP, Counsellor, and a Psychiatrist.
He is already aware that he has a problem, his anxiety further heightened for fear of losing you.Your support for him is vital.
Perhaps the best way to get things moving is to continue talking with him and make an appointment for him to see his GP. To reassure him of your support seek his agreement that you will attend the meeting with him if that would help.
He is in a very dark place right now which you are aware of, but he needs attention sooner rather than later.
AWARE.ie may be able to help you further in terms of advice.
Hopefully some of the thoughts above may be of assistance,please feel free to post or pm at anytime. Best wishes to you both on getting your lives, health and future back on track

Turtwig

Del, glad you made it out of hospital. Keep taking those meds. I know sometimes that can be hard, but they're for the greater good.

Also, I'm chuffed at how many people here are teetotalers or rarely drink. I'm also a teetotaler.

Awny,

I sympathise with the situation you find yourself in and I can only imagine the amount of strain and anxiety it must be causing you. Depression is a nasty illness. Many depressives can put on masks that hides the suffering from those closest to them. In this way I think you can safely say that it took your boyfriend a strong deal of courage and trust to tell you that he's depressed.

Depression can be caused by numerous things, it could be physical e.g an underlying illness that the person isn't aware they have, or it could be psychological. HSE statistics suggest that 75% of the people who suffer from depression in this country never seek treatment. The first thing you have to do and this isn't going to be easy is convince him to talk to his GP about his problems. He needs professional* help but that's a decision that he has to make himself and that's not easy. Unfortunately though getting help is usually the hardest step. Promise him that you'll support him no matter what is the only thing I can really say. It's not an easy road he's driving on. The whole blasted thing is probably full of fog.

It should be mentioned that this "fog" might not be caused by depression, he may have a completely different health issue. Depression may just be a byproduct of something more sinister. This is why it's crucial that he seeks professional help.

Regarding whether he'll still have feelings for you when the cloud clears, who knows? But one thing you should know is that if he experiencing a depression cloud then it could be very difficult for him to have feeling for most things. When that cloud begins to lift hopefully you'll notice a change in his behaviour and then, hopefully, you'll still have feeling for him and he'll still have feeling from you. Unfortunately, I can't guarantee that you will or won't. What I can say is that this is just going to be one of those challenges that couples face and I'm a firm believer in the concept behind the idiom of "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger": If your relationship does see it through this foggy road, then I think any optimist would suspect that it would be strengthened immeasurably as a result.

Hope this helps,

*Unfortunately as with everything in life not all professionals are equally competent. Just like you may also have to search for a better mechanic to service your car, you may also have to search for a better GP, counsellor, psychiatrist etc to service your health.

DeVore

One of the nicest things about this thread is the way people, who themselves arent feeling well, are full of positivity and help for other people.

awny

Jernal wrote: »

Regarding whether he'll still have feelings for you when the cloud clears, who knows? But one thing you should know is that if he experiencing a depression cloud then it could be very difficult for him to have feeling for most things. When that cloud begins to lift hopefully you'll notice a change in his behaviour and then, hopefully, you'll still have feeling for him and he'll still have feeling from you. Unfortunately, I can't guarantee that you will or won't. What I can say is that this is just going to be one of those challenges that couples face and I'm a firm believer in the concept behind the idiom of "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger": If your relationship does see it through this foggy road, then I think any optimist would suspect that it would be strengthened immeasurably as a result.

Hi Jernal,

I suppose this is what I fear most. And its this fear and has made me consider up and leaving. Whats the point of sticking around and goin through all this if he has lost these feelings? As in this would all be in vain? I am feeling the strain TBH. Im on mid term so im back in the homeland and my bf is in dub so im looking forward to seeing him. Thanks for the advice x

awny

delthedriver wrote: »

Well done on taking the big step of writing here on Boards.
Your boyfriend is certainly in need of professional help.
He is extremely lucky in that he has obviously a wonderful girlfriend who loves him dearly and supports him.
Obviously you wish to continue your relationship and support in getting this wonderful man back on track.
Ideally the first place to start would be his GP. He needs to get the advice and support of a GP, Counsellor, and a Psychiatrist.
He is already aware that he has a problem, his anxiety further heightened for fear of losing you.Your support for him is vital.
Perhaps the best way to get things moving is to continue talking with him and make an appointment for him to see his GP. To reassure him of your support seek his agreement that you will attend the meeting with him if that would help.
He is in a very dark place right now which you are aware of, but he needs attention sooner rather than later.
AWARE.ie may be able to help you further in terms of advice.
Hopefully some of the thoughts above may be of assistance,please feel free to post or pm at anytime. Best wishes to you both on getting your lives, health and future back on track

Thanks very much for such a nice, positive reply. Im feeling very worried and upset bout the whole situation myself but the reply made me feel better. Thanks xx

Turtwig

awny wrote: »

Hi Jernal,
Whats the point of sticking around and goin through all this if he has lost these feelings? As in this would all be in vain? I am feeling the strain TBH.

It really does sucks that you're feeling the strain, but it's good that you're writing about it and not trapping the feelings inside. Have you spoken to friends or family you trust about this?

I personally don't think anyone can answer this question for you. This is your life and your choice. A lot of people go through health crises at some stage in their lives. So, I think that you need to look at this from three perspective:
i) The time's when your relationship heightened your own happiness.
-Is even the slightest glimmer of a chance worth it to get back to these days?

ii) Imagine this occurred when you were married to the guy.
- If you were married to him, would your optimism or pessimism be any different towards his feeling returning?

iii) Instead of depression your boyfriend had a serious accident, was in a comatose state and will have to undergo a long and lengthy rehabilitation program.

Also, one more thing to consider. Suppose you do try and the worst does come to pass. At least your conscience will be clear and you won't be left wondering later at some stage in your life "What if?".

You basically need to weigh up whether you think the stress and strain of helping your boyfriend through his rough patch will be worth it. All I can really say is that your health and happiness should, at the very least, be of equal importance. If the inequality swings heavily against you and future equality doesn't seem viable then it might be time to leave ship.

I'm sorry I can't really be of help here. It's a really difficult situation you're in, perhaps post in the Personal Issues forum for advice?

Turtwig

DeVore wrote: »

One of the nicest things about this thread is the way people, who themselves arent feeling well, are full of positivity and help for other people.

(Might as well be as relevant to the thread title as possible.)

I laugh at this nowadays. I could always see potential solutions or aids for other people's problems, they were so obvious! So clear! Yet, when it came to looking at my own problems, my life was as good as over and no one could possibly convince me otherwise!:D

Funny how your vision can change.

galwayjohn89

Does anyone know of anything to improve mood temporarily. Feeling real down today and scared of what I will do.

Wibbs

I drop into this thread anytime it pops back up on the main page and I have to say I'm genuinely impressed and inspired and TBH in a few cases humbled by so many of the folks here. You have your ups and you certainly have your downs, but in spite of all that and all the crap this range of conditions brings to bear, you keep on going and keep on working your way through looking for solutions. It is genuinely inspiring. Thank you and FWIW kudos.

cloud493

Found this great quote

'There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be diminished by a nice cup of tea."

DeVore

Vuzuggu wrote: »

Does anyone know of anything to improve mood temporarily. Feeling real down today and scared of what I will do.

For me, music works. But pick the kind of music you like when you are "up". I secretly (and to my mortified shame to admit)... like to shake-shake mah bootah around the kitchen and I often feel better.

Its not a pleasant mental image is it.

I've been told that anything which engages a sense (hearing, sight, taste etc) in the present moment is a good start. It really depends on your situation though, if its something on your mind (relationship, job, other people etc) then you will have to deal with it or it will come back.

Queen-Mise

DeVore wrote: »

For me, music works. But pick the kind of music you like when you are "up". I secretly (and to my mortified shame to admit)... like to shake-shake mah bootah around the kitchen and I often feel better.

Always start with a 'safe' song... Music has the ability to raise and lower the mood. There is certain music that I cannot listen to at all, if I am at all down.

This is where I start at the moment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=III3G1egUcU

This is another song that can pick me up too.


I am glad I clicked in here because I feel like fcuking crap at the moment. My mood has been going steadily downwards since xmas, it is getting problematic now. I think it time for doctors and hospital again I hate going up there though - it is like being in a giant hamster wheel.

delthedriver

Vuzuggu wrote: »

Does anyone know of anything to improve mood temporarily. Feeling real down today and scared of what I will do.

Look, sorry to hear your mood is low.

Do you need to talk with someone? Samaritans/ Aware

Do you need emergency aid or medical help? GP/ Local Hospital

Would you prefer to chat on here?

What appears to be the problem? What is worrying you?

delthedriver

Queen-Mise wrote: »

Always start with a 'safe' song... Music has the ability to raise and lower the mood. There is certain music that I cannot listen to at all, if I am at all down.

This is where I start at the moment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=III3G1egUcU

This is another song that can pick me up too.


I am glad I clicked in here because I feel like fcuking crap at the moment. My mood has been going steadily downwards since xmas, it is getting problematic now. I think it time for doctors and hospital again I hate going up there though - it is like being in a giant hamster wheel.

You have probably anwered your own question.
If you feel the need for doctors and hospital again, the sooner you get the ball rolling, the sooner you will start feeling better.
Having just come out of hospital myself today, I can tell you I am now feeling much better. Go on,please look after yourself. Wishing you a speedy return to better health.Please update on your progress
Best wishes