LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

Lyaiera

The best bit of information I got was from a psychiatric nurse. She said when you're in a low you think in absolutes: I will never, I can't, this won't. Try something, play some music, play a game, anything. And if you can't get into it think, "I'm not getting into this now, I may very well have time for it tomorrow or next week." Don't beat yourself up for it not happening at the time, you might get something out of it another time.




I read some articles a few weeks back about "brain rest." There's more and more research showing that some forms of depression come from an inability to switch off and rest certain mental elements. For me this always happened when I was time stressed with something, I'd take a day off to rest, hoping it would pick me up and get me motivated properly but I just didn't find that time restful at all, even if I was lying on the couch doing nothing. I'd end up as bad or worse as when I hadn't taken the day off and go into a downward spiral.

They've found that dexterous activity can be a huge help for people who feel like they never get proper rest. I think this was done on prisoners knitting and another was done on building things with matchsticks and with airfix and that. Doing something detailed with your hands but that doesn't involve linguistic or "creative" elements can occupy you enough in some ways that it allows the typically worried or stressed parts of the brain to rest effectively. It's been a type of folk wisdom for years, the guy building model boats in a glass jar kind of thing, but they're getting to a point where there's proper science behind the folk wisdom now. I think there was also research done into fidgeting that had a similar rationale.

delthedriver

delthedriver wrote: »

Look, sorry to hear your mood is low.

Do you need to talk with someone? Samaritans/ Aware

Do you need emergency aid or medical help? GP/ Local Hospital

Would you prefer to chat on here?

What appears to be the problem? What is worrying you?

.................................................................................................

For what it is worth, when my mood is low I usually play some easy listening music, jazz, classical, basically light music in the room.

I relax, try breathing exercises, deep breaths,

A warm relaxing drink, warm milk, drinking chocolate.

Something light to eat maybe a yooghurt.

Try and get some rest, sleep in bed or wrapped in a nice warm blanket on the couch.

It is all about being, gentle and kind to yourself.

You are the most important person, protect yourself , take it easy.

Please let us know how you are getting on.

We want what is best for you . Please take good care of yourself:)

Lyaiera

delthedriver wrote: »

Try and get some rest, sleep in bed or wrapped in a nice warm blanket on the couch.

Lying on a couch under a duvet is my big rescue when sleep hasn't come for a few nights. I turn on a 24 hour news station and set the volume as low as I can while still hearing a tiny amount. Then I lie down, facing away from the TV and try and hear the susurrus of the the sound but without making out the words. For a bit I'll make out a news report, for other bits I can just hear a static with peaks and troughs. It helps me shut down my thoughts though.

delthedriver

Lyaiera wrote: »

Lying on a couch under a duvet is my big rescue when sleep hasn't come for a few nights. I turn on a 24 hour news station and set the volume as low as I can while still hearing a tiny amount. Then I lie down, facing away from the TV and try and hear the susurrus of the the sound but without making out the words. For a bit I'll make out a news report, for other bits I can just hear a static with peaks and troughs. It helps me shut down my thoughts though.

Wow! That is amazing, I have done the sme thing on several occassions
and it worked for me too!

Esel

awny wrote: »

...He has told me that he cannot pinpoint what exactly is making him unhappy (me, work etc)....

...One thing which particularly hurt me (he didnt say this to hurt me but he described how he was feeling and this came out). He has said that always said I'm the one for him, he says that he still says that but he doesnt feel it, he feels no emotion at all in general. He said he wants to feel like how he used to...

I have a fear, what if is doesn't feel like how he used and this is not a result of his depression?...

awny wrote: »

I suppose this is what I fear most. And its this fear and has made me consider up and leaving. Whats the point of sticking around and goin through all this if he has lost these feelings? As in this would all be in vain? I am feeling the strain TBH.

OK, firstly excuse me for editing your posts down to the bits that seem to me to be especially relevant (and for bolding some of the text).

It seems to me that you feel somehow responsible for his current situation. This, combined with your fear that his lack of feeling for you now might still be the case when his mental health improves and all of his other feelings return to 'normal', is obviously causing you to worry. That's understandable - but not rational (to me) from what you have said.

My layman's opinion is that you should challenge your fear. Write down the pro's and con's for your fear. It might be true because (the pro's) and might be false because (the con's). I'm only suggesting you do this because I think it will help you to realise that your fears are groundless.

It is obvious that you care a lot about him - enough to want to help him to get well, even it just might mean that your path diverge in the future. It sounds like he needs your help now either way. Go for it!
______________________________

Lastly, I'm quoting Jernal's post (which I thought to be very good) so you can easily read it again.

Jernal wrote: »

It really does sucks that you're feeling the strain, but it's good that you're writing about it and not trapping the feelings inside. Have you spoken to friends or family you trust about this?

I personally don't think anyone can answer this question for you. This is your life and your choice. A lot of people go through health crises at some stage in their lives. So, I think that you need to look at this from three perspective:
i) The time's when your relationship heightened your own happiness.
-Is even the slightest glimmer of a chance worth it to get back to these days?

ii) Imagine this occurred when you were married to the guy.
- If you were married to him, would your optimism or pessimism be any different towards his feeling returning?

iii) Instead of depression your boyfriend had a serious accident, was in a comatose state and will have to undergo a long and lengthy rehabilitation program.

Also, one more thing to consider. Suppose you do try and the worst does come to pass. At least your conscience will be clear and you won't be left wondering later at some stage in your life "What if?".

You basically need to weigh up whether you think the stress and strain of helping your boyfriend through his rough patch will be worth it. All I can really say is that your health and happiness should, at the very least, be of equal importance. If the inequality swings heavily against you and future equality doesn't seem viable then it might be time to leave ship.

I'm sorry I can't really be of help here. It's a really difficult situation you're in, perhaps post in the Personal Issues forum for advice?

galwayjohn89

Finally got to sleep at around 3. Woke up at 5 to feeling like crap again. Wish I could just sleep more to get away from it

delthedriver

Vuzuggu wrote: »

Finally got to sleep at around 3. Woke up at 5 to feeling like crap again. Wish I could just sleep more to get away from it

Take it easy today. Perhaps you would give some consideration to visiting your GP today and have a very open discussion with him. Sleep is vital for a healthy body and mind. You really need something to help you deliver 7/8. Hrs sleep.
A tired body and mind can lead to low mood. Please take action today and get yourself back on track. Today is a new day . Go for it, please!

Queen-Mise

Vuzuggu wrote: »

Is it actually possible to beat depression for good or will there always be crap moods at times?

I haven't the foggiest. People do.

From what has happened to me - is that the crap mood balance out, as in they are not quite as low. But then - to play my own devil's advocate, this isn't particularly helpful when I am barely functioning at my best. Although my lows aren't as bad as they were (2/3 years ago) - I haven't been in hospital in a couple of years now.

Depression is a cnut of a thing - albeit I am better than I was, but where I am now is not particularly great either. I am only about 35/40% - I don't have a life outside this house, 95% of my contact with the outside world is through the internet.

Heaven for me - is not having to leave the house at all

L.Jenkins

I do love some energetic music when I'm down. A little Calvin Harris and other producers help aswell on occasion. Especially alittle bit of Avicii.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7BGxDbH9Zo

May some familiar to some :P

Cliona99

Apart from a good cup of tea like Cloud said, and music, I find the laughing baby videos on youtube cheer me up. Or kittens and puppies playing. Or funny websites like DamnYouAutoCorrect.com (go straight to the 'best of' section). Distraction rules

delthedriver

Vuzuggu wrote: »

I'll try get myself back on track today but it's doubtful. I'm just annoyed as I was feeling good and well for 2 weeks once I started medication and now I'e just hit rock bottom.

Is it actually possible to beat depression for good or will there always be crap moods at times?

Many thanks for posting again. Delighted to hear you are taking your medication.
Please , there is no need to be annoyed with yourself.
Depression is a strange thing, in that mood swings can vary between High and Low.
The medication helps stabilise the mood. However it is not an exact science, sometimes medications may need to be adjusted accordingly. May be worth liasing with your GP , particularly as you are not sleeping properly.
The thing about Depression is you must learn to treat yourself kindly. You are very precious.
Coupled with the medication it is important to introduce some gentle exercise, which may hep induce sleep. Cut back on the caffeine as it can be a source of disturbed sleep at night. Watch your diet, eat healthily, sometimes the appetite may be poor and it becomes very easy to snack. Light healthy meals 3times per day are essential to keep you going when the mood is low.
At the moment you are in the early stages of recovery, living in the present and living one day at a time is very important during your journey along this bumpy road. Can depression be beaten? A very good question. I believe by following some of the ideas above certainly make life better. Do not under estimate the vital role your GP , Counsellor and Psychiatrist can play in getting your life better.
Most of all be very kind,patient and take great care of yourself. Please keep in touch with your friends here, who wish the very best for you on your road to recovery

Turtwig

I find this thread absolutely fantastic for giving me a little kick or boost.

Vuzuggu wrote: »

I'll try get myself back on track today but it's doubtful. I'm just annoyed as I was feeling good and well for 2 weeks once I started medication and now I'e just hit rock bottom.

Try not to get too irritated. I know that's easier said than done, everything takes time and whatever you do don't be harsh on yourself. If you feel the medication isn't working then it's time to talk to whoever prescribed it for you. It'll probably take a month, but you know your own body, if you think the medication isn't working then don't be afraid to say so. It's not like you're just limited to one option.

Vuzuggu wrote: »

Is it actually possible to beat depression for good or will there always be crap moods at times?

It depends on a lot of things.

For some people their medications can induce depression e.g corticosteroids. Alcohol is obviously a depressant, so if you're depressed you should at the very least reduce your consumption of it. Also, it's possible that there are substances out there that help cause depression but we're just not aware of what they are yet.

Other people have problems with absorption of vital nutrients necessary for the synthesis of brain chemicals. It's a bit like having the best designed and optimised car engine in the world but not providing it with the right fuel and fluids to run. This is why diet and exercise is so important. Your brain needs the right fuels and these fuels, for want of a better term and analogy, need to flow smoothly. And, some people simply aren't in a position to get this exercise.

Then there is the psychological side of things. If your underlying negative thought structures aren't dealt with then the best physical health and anti-depressants in the world amount to nothing more than a cosmetic fix. But, likewise all the dealing in the world with negative thought structures and not addressing the physical issues such as an underlying illness, should they be present, equally amounts to a shallow fix.

So yeah, for some people depression can be for life with periods of remissions interspersed between episodes. But you can learn to manage to it. It's kind of like everything really, the more your understand your own body the better. For other people though it's just temporary and, as unlikely as it may seem when you're under the fog, it will pass.

Oh yeah, just to add a disclaimer : not in anyway a medical professional. But I do believe the above to be reasonably accurate.

dd972

Just a quick pointer on Alcohol, it's a depressant as in depressing the functionality of the central nervous system which in descriptive terms is nothing to do with the sort of psychological depression the thread is about.

JupiterKid

I just want to hide away from the world this week. Bed feels like the safest place to be. Even the thought of going downstairs to get anything makes me anxious. I don't want to answer the phone or talk to anyone at the moment.

@Jernal - I know you mean very well but suggesting to people feeling depressed and anxious that it may be a symptom of a serious physical illness only serves to worsen their anxiety and depression IMO. It's up to their doctor to decide that with a medical examination.

Turtwig

JupiterKid wrote: »

I just want to hide away from the world this week. Bed feels like the safest place to be. Even the thought of going downstairs to get anything makes me anxious. I don't want to answer the phone or talk to anyone at the moment.

@Jernal - I know you mean very well but suggesting to people feeling depressed and anxious that it may be a symptom of a serious physical illness only serves to worsen their anxiety and depression IMO. It's up to their doctor to decide that with a medical examination.

I should really have clarified then that sometimes it can be serious physical illness other times it can be an easily treatable physical illness.
I was just trying to emphasise the importance in seeing a medical professional.:)

Gongoozler

I've been trying to accept that my degree is now useless. It's been very saddening. Depressing. I feel very lost, and I feel like I've no support. It's the only thing I've been half good at, not that I was good at it. And now I'm lost. I've been too long out of work for my ****ty retail work to be any use any more. I'm 29 and nothing I've done is worth anything to any employer. It's eating away at my tiny bit of confidence.

Larianne

Gongoozler wrote: »

I've been trying to accept that my degree is now useless. It's been very saddening. Depressing. I feel very lost, and I feel like I've no support. It's the only thing I've been half good at, not that I was good at it. And now I'm lost. I've been too long out of work for my ****ty retail work to be any use any more. I'm 29 and nothing I've done is worth anything to any employer. It's eating away at my tiny bit of confidence.

Can I ask what area it is in?
Maybe posting in the Jobs & Careers forum would help?

Gongoozler

Larianne wrote: »

Can I ask what area it is in?
Maybe posting in the Jobs & Careers forum would help?

It's IT. Thanks for the suggestion, but I don't see how posting there would help any more than everything else I've done.

DeVore

Gongoozler wrote: »

I've been trying to accept that my degree is now useless. It's been very saddening. Depressing. I feel very lost, and I feel like I've no support. It's the only thing I've been half good at, not that I was good at it. And now I'm lost. I've been too long out of work for my ****ty retail work to be any use any more. I'm 29 and nothing I've done is worth anything to any employer. It's eating away at my tiny bit of confidence.

29 is barely scratching the surface of life. There are many many people who have switched careers in their 30's. I trained to be a mathematician but I never worked a day as one. I spent 10 years as a programmer and then two as a professional poker player hahaha... now I run a games design company.

I'm a qualified *cobbler* for God's sake!


The only certainty is change. And thats good!

Larianne

Gongoozler wrote: »

It's IT. Thanks for the suggestion, but I don't see how posting there would help any more than everything else I've done.

It can't hurt to try? Its sometimes difficult to see past the problem if you're just focusing on the same thing over and over. Getting fresh ideas from others can be a help. Even if nothing comes of it, it might make you think yourself of different routes to go down.

Plus, boards.ie has many helpful posters out there. There is always someone willing to help people out. (Best thing about the site).

Gongoozler

I've to get a job first, to be able to pay to retrain, nevermind trying to figure out what i want to train in.

thanks again larianne, but really I've done everything I can. I actually applied for a job with Distilled media, heard nothing back. that's what made me realise I'm at nothing.

tempura

Interesting programme on TV 3 at the moment, just saw it there, started at nine, on till ten.

InReality

@Gongoozler

My Depression/Anxiety made it impossible to be objective about what I could/couldn't do.

So i'd try and keep that in mind , and if your depressed or anxious leave any big life decisions off for the moment.

Interesting prog on tv3 now.

Call Me Jimmy

InReality wrote: »

@Gongoozler

My Depression/Anxiety made it impossible to be objective about what I could/couldn't do.

Just highlighting this because it's so true in all cases imo.

Johro

I really f#ckin love this thread. It's the best thing to ever come out of boards.ie, thanks DeVore for throwing doubts aside and starting it anyway.

Gongoozler

InReality wrote: »

@Gongoozler

My Depression/Anxiety made it impossible to be objective about what I could/couldn't do.

So i'd try and keep that in mind , and if your depressed or anxious leave any big life decisions off for the moment.

Interesting prog on tv3 now.

there's no one telling me anything different, so no point.I gave it long enough. I can see myself that I don't know enough to do a job in this area. I would've barely been ok at it straight out of college never mind 3 years later.

boomtown123

Siuin wrote: »

I decided to shut down my facebook today because I realised that looking at other people's lives (or at least, what they choose to show us of them) is making me depressed, yet has become strangely addictive for me.

I'm hoping to spend the time I now have offline doing something productive and improving myself as a person. For too long I've relied on 'internet friendships' yet they simply don't provide the support and personal interaction a person needs.

I did this a year ago Siuin. You won't regret it. Best decision I made. Happier, fitter and a more creative person (have all the canvasses to show it!) . I realize now how much of a drain it was on my time and my "well being". I found the people (ex's and flakey friends) that I should of got over quickly but who I was constantly checking up on with facebook - I'm now over. Best of Luck.

Call Me Jimmy

Gongoozler wrote: »

there's no one telling me anything different, so no point.I gave it long enough. I can see myself that I don't know enough to do a job in this area. I would've barely been ok at it straight out of college never mind 3 years later.

But if you have a passion for it you will be ahead of quite a lot of people who just sorta ended up there. If there's mental problems that affect your performance could ye see it as a goal to overcome them so that you could be fully equipped to still work in an area you have a genuine interest in?

Believe me I understand dejection but I have worked in that industry and the people who are passionate just shine through. I'm only saying this because I know what a domino effect it could have on your life, but I really do understand the gap between your own feelings and what people say.

EDIT: and also, the rate of change in IT is huge. People who know loads of stuff now have to continue to keep on top of new technologies as you know. If you are always messing about with your computer at home all you need to do is with quite a small amount of effort channel or structure your learning towards a specific job/goal. Sorry I didn't mean 'all you need to do' in a 'this is easy' way, but the effort/reward ratio for you might be quite high.

Gongoozler

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

But if you have a passion for it you will be ahead of quite a lot of people who just sorta ended up there. If there's mental problems that affect your performance could ye see it as a goal to overcome them so that you could be fully equipped to still work in an area you have a genuine interest in?

Believe me I understand dejection but I have worked in that industry and the people who are passionate just shine through. I'm only saying this because I know what a domino effect it could have on your life, but I really do understand the gap between your own feelings and what people say.

EDIT: and also, the rate of change in IT is huge. People who know loads of stuff now have to continue to keep on top of new technologies as you know. If you are always messing about with your computer at home all you need to do is with quite a small amount of effort channel or structure your learning towards a specific job/goal. Sorry I didn't mean 'all you need to do' in a 'this is easy' way, but the effort/reward ratio for you might be quite high.

Thanks Jimmy, I get what you're saying don't worry.
Thing is I'm just not that passionate about it. I've been mediocre since the very start. I have a medium interest in doing stuff myself, but because of my anti depressants my concentration isn't what it was, so I find it hard to do anything by myself, without structure direction etc.

I have to give up on it. I know I do. It's just sad cause I have nothing else.

Call Me Jimmy

Yea I'm not going to try and tell you any different than you know yourself in terms of that, but I would contend the bit about it being the only thing you're good at. Of course not knowing you means 'hey he's just saying that he doesn't know me' but I know the feeling and I know it's very rarely the case.

Sometimes ye have to go back to dreams, and maybe start thinking about the really out there stuff like creative interests. Obviously if you don't have much wiggle-room in terms of responsibilities it's a bit more difficult but I'd always say ye should at least consider the types of things ye wanted to do earlier in life.

But I'll leave it at that, my intentions are good but I know it can sound patronising because of all the thought you will already have put into all these things.