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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!
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Join Date:Posts: 29920
You don't always have to post what you write, or even write a post. I use something called Progoff Journaling to write down what you are thinking about whats bugging you. I've found it a big help when I want to purge something out of my head or figure out whats really bugging me about it.
Give it a shot... just open Notepad and write into it.
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Same for me Karsini, things were going well and now in the last couple of days back into feeling like I'm just waiting for death, without the liberating feeling that should come with a thought like that. Since I was younger I thought to myself 'baldness would be a death sentence for me' and it kind of is turning out that way.
I'm aware of everything to do with it too, people may still find me attractive/just shave yer head (which I have) but living with body dysmorphic disorder it's just one push too far with the balding at 25. I hate to say this but I was a good looking chap growing up I think, cocky as fcuk all that but now I'm a shell of human, not even a man.
I have in short bursts really applied myself mentally and managed to do things but for me it's all about how I feel. Yes, if I was disciplined enough mentally I could do well enough to find someone but I just think, if they like me for my personality then I have to keep up that personality all day every day as long as I know them because if I don't there's not much left.
And it's been so many years now of trying to accept myself (and not trying - going with the flow). My main fear now is that the longer I live, seeing as there is no possibility of normality, the longer I live the more I will start to go down the psychotic/insane route
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...............................................................................................handbagmad wrote: »my partner is ten years my senior. My family(dad and sister) called me aside yesterday and said they were very worried about me.( and i thought i was good at hiding things)
ive been living a miserable existance for really the last two years. I'm not a confrontational person so have been really walking on egg shells to try keep peace. I dont know who I am anymore.
But im going to get to know who the real me is again. Another two years of this and I (not being an alarmist) dont think i'll be
If things dont change they will stay the same!
It is time for change in your life, the first step is putting yourself first and looking after your health.
Stay well 0 -
I know some people here aren't feeling the best, and I can relate, but I thought I'd post about how good I'm feeling. Not to boast! But maybe it'll give you hope. I was very down up to the first week of February. Nothing I was doing was working, everything was a struggle, (I mean it, some days I couldn't even manage to brush my teeth), and I thought "what's the point?" and "how do all those normal people do it?" ("it" being life in general)
After five days of a false start where I felt great and thought I was on my way to being 'cured' whatever that means, and then being dumped down to the bottom of the mountain again and feeling worse than before, I slowly started to turn the corner. I'm trying not to be too optimistic. I don't want to jinx it. But gradually things have started to get easier.
The very first thing I noticed was driving. Driving home one day I realised that I wasn't hyperventilating, or sweating, or freaking out over tailgaters (who were actually *not* that close). I wasn't relaxed like a normal person driving but I wasn't a danger on the roads either. It was such a breakthrough. I felt like maybe I could get better.
I'm not cured. But I'm managing. I'm setting small goals liking eating three meals a day, limiting screentime, and getting washed and dressed. I'm trying to get into an 'appropriate' sleep routine and smoke a bit less. I pretty much never hit all five targets in one day, but I'm trying and I really believe I'll get there eventually.
Don't set bigger goals than you can handle. (I have possibly done this already). Because not accomplishing a single one, or taking five days to do a job that takes five minutes - me, cutting my nails - might make you feel worse. Like you've put in 100% effort and done 2% as much as a normal person would. Try not to compare yourself to other people. (I know, I do it *all* the time). They've got their own issues/problems. Compare yourself to yourself. And have faith that things will change, change is the only constant
Sorry for going on and on, once I start waffling, I can't stop.
xxx0 -
I'm not cured. But I'm managing. I'm setting small goals liking eating three meals a day, limiting screentime, and getting washed and dressed. I'm trying to get into an 'appropriate' sleep routine and smoke a bit less. I pretty much never hit all five targets in one day, but I'm trying and I really believe I'll get there eventually.
Don't set bigger goals than you can handle. (I have possibly done this already). Because not accomplishing a single one, or taking five days to do a job that takes five minutes - me, cutting my nails - might make you feel worse. Like you've put in 100% effort and done 2% as much as a normal person would. Try not to compare yourself to other people. (I know, I do it *all* the time). They've got their own issues/problems. Compare yourself to yourself. And have faith that things will change, change is the only constant
Sorry for going on and on, once I start waffling, I can't stop.
xxx[/Quote]
Thanks Cliona for your post, so glad you are feeling better. I too have been setting goals for myself but not putting myself under pressure either.
I am feeling down today, had a cry miss my ex terribly, today all I want is for someone to hold me & tell me it will all be okay.
But your post made my spirits lift coz I knew you had been in sad place, but it sounds like you are making progress & I am so pleased for you, coz you have been so brave & resilient, I really admire your courage.
Take care hon. Keep us updated on your progress xxx0 -
I must admit, compared with this time last year, even at the start of this year, it is like i am a different person. I have been doing fairly well. I rarely have a down day and if i do i dont wallow in self pity and curl up into bed just being depressed. Instead i force myself out to do things, like going on walks or meeting up with friends. Or i treat myself to small little pick me ups.
Counselling is going great. I didnt get along with her at the start but i think thats because i was still a little hesitant. I have had 2 breakthroughs so far and i am feeling so much better about myself now. It is one of the best decisions i have ever made tbh. At the rate im going i should only have a few more sessions left. My friends have noticed the difference in me too. Im nearly back to who i was before i had depression. Im out more and talking loads. They told me that they havent seen me this happy(as in real happiness not when i used to pretend to be happy) in so long and it cheers them up to no end.
I am the happiest i have been in a long time and if anyone were to ask me about counselling i would recommend it 100% because it has had such a profound effect for me. Seriously one of the nest decisions i have ever made and i am so much more happier. 0 -
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I know some people here aren't feeling the best, and I can relate, but I thought I'd post about how good I'm feeling. Not to boast! But maybe it'll give you hope. I was very down up to the first week of February. Nothing I was doing was working, everything was a struggle, (I mean it, some days I couldn't even manage to brush my teeth), and I thought "what's the point?" and "how do all those normal people do it?" ("it" being life in general)
After five days of a false start where I felt great and thought I was on my way to being 'cured' whatever that means, and then being dumped down to the bottom of the mountain again and feeling worse than before, I slowly started to turn the corner. I'm trying not to be too optimistic. I don't want to jinx it. But gradually things have started to get easier.
The very first thing I noticed was driving. Driving home one day I realised that I wasn't hyperventilating, or sweating, or freaking out over tailgaters (who were actually *not* that close). I wasn't relaxed like a normal person driving but I wasn't a danger on the roads either. It was such a breakthrough. I felt like maybe I could get better.
I'm not cured. But I'm managing. I'm setting small goals liking eating three meals a day, limiting screentime, and getting washed and dressed. I'm trying to get into an 'appropriate' sleep routine and smoke a bit less. I pretty much never hit all five targets in one day, but I'm trying and I really believe I'll get there eventually.
Don't set bigger goals than you can handle. (I have possibly done this already). Because not accomplishing a single one, or taking five days to do a job that takes five minutes - me, cutting my nails - might make you feel worse. Like you've put in 100% effort and done 2% as much as a normal person would. Try not to compare yourself to other people. (I know, I do it *all* the time). They've got their own issues/problems. Compare yourself to yourself. And have faith that things will change, change is the only constant
Sorry for going on and on, once I start waffling, I can't stop.
xxx
Cliona,
Delighted to hear you are doing well. Keep up the great work.
Best wishes:)0 -
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