If men could have babies, would you?

later12 · 15-12-2011 3:33am #1

Say scientists discovered a way for men to carry a baby, via some sort of complex process like reverse ejaculation into a temporary reproductive site (don't worry about the science bit, this clearly isn't a biology thread)

Would you opt to carry a baby instead of your wife or girlfriend carrying it?

Would you feel less useful to the relationship if she were out earning money while you were attending birth classes?

Would you be scared about the labour pains? (I envisage that the baby would be pooped out)

Would you be worried about the impact of the pregnancy on your body?

Personally I wouldn't go for it, but I'd be interested to hear what other's think, and whether there's anything to be said for pregnancy as an experience.

Eric Cartman · 15-12-2011 3:35am

dear god no, i wouldnt even put a woman through it

Guill · 15-12-2011 3:37am

later10 wrote: »

Would you opt to carry a baby instead of your wife or girlfriend carrying it?
No, not natural

Would you feel less useful to the relationship if she were out earning money while you were attending birth classes?
Classes me arse, women have been havin babies for years,now, they should know what to do.

Would you be scared about the labour pains? (I envisage that the baby would be pooped out)
No

Would you be worried about the impact of the pregnancy on your body?
have you seen my body??

.

eth0 · 15-12-2011 3:39am

Too much pushing.

eth0 · 15-12-2011 3:40am

Eric Cartman wrote: »

dear god no, i wouldnt even put a woman through it

Same. I couldn't enjoy myself lobbing it in to her knowing the pain and suffering she'd be going through in 9 months time. I'd rather choke the chicken tbh

empacher · 15-12-2011 3:42am

wow not really liking the image the op has created.

FunkZ · 15-12-2011 3:42am

Definitely, just to prove to myself that a kick in the balls is way more painful.

orourkeda · 15-12-2011 3:43am

f*ck no.

I couldnt be held responsible for bringing some little bastard into the world

orourkeda · 15-12-2011 3:44am

later10 wrote: »

Say scientists discovered a way for men to carry a baby, via some sort of complex process like reverse ejaculation into a temporary reproductive site (don't worry about the science bit, this clearly isn't a biology thread)

Would you opt to carry a baby instead of your wife or girlfriend carrying it?

Would you feel less useful to the relationship if she were out earning money while you were attending birth classes?

Would you be scared about the labour pains? (I envisage that the baby would be pooped out)

Would you be worried about the impact of the pregnancy on your body?

Personally I wouldn't go for it, but I'd be interested to hear what other's think, and whether there's anything to be said for pregnancy as an experience.

Is that like backwanking?

Ave Sodalis · 15-12-2011 3:52am

Erm... where would it come out? :eek:

FunkZ · 15-12-2011 3:53am

sup_dude wrote: »

Erm... where would it come out?

The mouth obviously, the same way it is with women.

:pac:

Turtyturd · 15-12-2011 3:54am

Nope, sometimes trying to squeeze out a small sh*t is painful enough I don't think I could manage a couple of Couric's.

WindSock · 15-12-2011 3:56am

**** that. I'm not having some dude trap me in a relationship while getting up the damo. You can stick your child support too, you filthy slag.

*runs*

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 15-12-2011 3:58am

Depends... what hole does the baby come out of?

maxfresh · 15-12-2011 4:01am

Nah i hate children :pac:

later12 · 15-12-2011 4:02am

DonkeyStyle \o/ wrote: »

Depends... what hole does the baby come out of?

As I said, I envisage a baby covered in blood and poop. Theoretically it would be expelled rectally.

Otherwise, try not to concern yourself too much with the science, the question is just hypothetical.

I must say I think it is pretty brave of women to get themselves up the duff.

Not sure I'd have the balls for it, myself.

eth0 · 15-12-2011 4:05am

later10 wrote: »

I must say I think it is pretty brave of women to get themselves up the duff.

Not really. It's like an Interrupt Service Routine on a microcontroller

They could be perfectly normal one minute and then "I want to push out a screaming child through my fanny and spend the next 30 years looking after it" and then back to normality. I just stand back and shake my head

shrewdness · 15-12-2011 4:05am

I'll feel like I'm having one on Stephen's day after the previous 24 hours' eating.

StupidLikeAFox · 15-12-2011 4:06am

I envisage that I'd head into work at 8am, take a half day and have the baby in the afternoon, be in the pub by 8.30pm, maybe take a long weekend and be back in work on the Tuesday.

I'd do it in half the time too. Women milk it tbh

later12 · 15-12-2011 4:09am

eth0 wrote: »

Not really. It's like an Interrupt Service Routine on a microcontroller

They could be perfectly normal one minute and then "I want to push out a screaming child through my fanny and spend the next 30 years looking after it" and then back to normality. I just stand back and shake my head

Yes, I did think of that.

I wonder if it's really bravery on a conscious level, or are they just stuck in a biochemical trance,so to speak, and not thinking clearly.

Surely nobody in their right mind would submit to the presumed agony of childbirth.

patwicklow · 15-12-2011 4:11am

Having a good ****e is enough for me thanks.

DonkeyStyle \o/ · 15-12-2011 4:14am

later10 wrote: »

Theoretically it would be expelled rectally.

Uh, then no. Passing something the size of a baby would probably rupture your rectum and kill you, or at least leave you with some wicked anal fissures. Vaginas are built to take that kind of punishment.

later10 wrote: »

try not to concern yourself too much with the science

If you want people to volunteer for this project I think you need to be more forthcoming.
If you could make babies in the anus, why aren't there more pregnant gay men?
This isn't holding up to scientific scrutiny at all.