Couple Of Funnies

MonkieSocks

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees €10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “10 lamb chops, please.”

Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop.

He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop.

The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench.

When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus.

The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery.

After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the “stop” button, then the butcher follows him off.

The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop.

He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door.

He does this again and again.

No answer.

So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door.

A big guy opens it and starts cursing at the dog.

The butcher runs up screams at the guy:

“What the hell are you doing? This dog’s a genius!”

The owner responds, “Genius, my ass.






It’s the second time this week he’s forgotten his key!”

__________________________________

This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.

He says to the clerk, “I’d like to register my new invention.

It’s a folding bottle.”

“OK,” says the clerk. “What do you call it?”

“A Fottle, replies the inventor.”

“A Fottle? That’s stupid!

Can’t you think of something else?”

“I can think about it. I’ve got something else though.

It’s a folding carton.”

“And what do you call that?” asks the clerk.

“A Farton”, replies the inventor.

“That’s rude. You can’t possibly call it that!”

“In that case,” says the inventor…




“You’re really going to hate the name of my Folding Bucket.”