Define an English person

Temptamperu

By the time you read this Google will most likely have 'fixed' the issue, but currently the first Google search result for "define an English person" is a Wikipedia page dedicated to a certain word.
That word - and I suggest more delicate readers avert their eyes at this point - is Cúnt Ladies and gentlemen
Google is aware of the problem, and according to one employee, it "looks like a bad case of ranking that we're looking into."
The "C word," as some people insist on calling it, is widely considered the most severe curse word in the English language. Feminist Scholar Germaine Greer once called it "one of the few remaining words in the English language with a genuine power to shock." Yep, I took that from that Wikipedia page, thanks Google.
Some suspect the errant search result isn't a glitch, but a deliberate joke pulled off by glib pranksters using a process called "Google-bombing." By creating large numbers of hyperlinks connected to a certain phrase, unscrupulous users can bump that phrase to the top of the Google rankings. Famous examples of this include searches for "miserable failure," which brought up a picture of U.S President George W. Bush, "weapons of mass destruction," which brought up a parody 404 page and "Hell" which took users to Microsoft homepage. Google keeps on changing its search algorithms to combat the practice but hasn't managed to stamp it out yet.
Ironically the people least likely to be offended by the page are the English themselves; as we tend to use the word particularly liberally. Often in lieu of punctuation, in fact.
Or it may be a case that the Englist are infact C**ts :pac:

My name is URL

Do the same for 'Irish person' and the second result is Pikey

edit- actually, it doesn't anymore. Google must like us more than the English :rolleyes:

chin_grin

Haven't seen this before! :paC:

investment

Tight

Where To

An english person is anyone who speaks english either as a first or additional language.

later12

OMG I'm having deja vu


lol

My name is URL

The result for Scottish people is assault!

foxyboxer

As the english love to use the class system, we therefore observe a variety of 'English' people. The only common factor is that they all speak English.

The Upper Class
The Middle Class
The Working Class
The Under Class

pow wow

brummytom* :cool:



*worms worms everywhere!

Yakult

John McCririck

charlietheminxx

Dislike :rolleyes:

Eathrin

"Craic" comes up as a result for an Irish person:p

cloud493

I'm an English person. I should be under that definition.

getz

cloud493 wrote: »

I'm an English person. I should be under that definition.

same here,this is going to end in tears.

MeteoritesEire

a friend posted this on FB yesterday and the top search result for 'english person' was the wiki page for ****.It is now a link to a huffington post article and second top is a yahoo answers with this very thread on boards.ie third so looks like Big G hasn't sorted this fully yet

TeddyTedson

MeteoritesEire wrote: »

a friend posted this on FB yesterday and the top search result for 'english person' was the wiki page for ****.It is now a link to a huffington post article and second top is a yahoo answers with this very thread on boards.ie third so looks like Big G hasn't sorted this fully yet

Steven?

SharpshooterTom

I was born in England to Irish parents. Lived there till I was 14.

I've been living here now for nearly 12 years and I still speak with an English accent.

I don't consider myself English in the slightest, never have done. I grew up being a plastic paddy and supporting Ireland. I don't so much now because I recognise I can't be Irish (at least properly) with an English accent, but I was never English in England and often called an "Irish c*nt" and all the rest of it with all the Ireland tops at school etc.

I sort of cheered on Sweden yesturday if I'm being honest, knewing they were going to lose.

I dont really consider myself anything in all honesty I'm a bit messed up.

John Doe1

Someone who is from england?:D

MeteoritesEire

TeddyTedson wrote: »

Steven?

I have a brother called Stephen...is that you ted?

Agricola

A great bunch a lads...

starviewadams

Nice lads and ladies that show me how to get to where I need to go on the very confusing and busy underground in London.

Also scary looking,fast talking lads in Camden Town who look like they're going to rob me until they realise I'm Irish just like their grandad was and start calling me bruv instead,innit.

mikemac1

Messed up country
They have private schools but call them public schools.


And they don't have the heavenly goodness that is red lemonade. Poor lads

BIG BAD JOHN

This is the race that invented Vimto and pork scratchings (not at the same time so far as I know) for which they have my eternal and grateful thanks.

mikemac1

Give me strange looks when I ask for a rock shandy

Sorry Mr Barman
You know 50 complicated cocktails but you don't know a rock shandy, the easiest mixer you'll ever make


And no Taytos, that's just wrong!

golden lane

i am an irish person living in the uk.....and the english people are the nicest people in the world..........

BIG BAD JOHN

golden lane wrote: »

i am an irish person living in the uk.....and the english people are the nicest people in the world..........

There's a lot of truth in that statement. I like to think one of the reasons might be that over 6 million of them have an Irish granny and/or grandad.
I think the lack of Tayto and rock shandies are more than made up for with pork scratchings and Vimto (which I've mentioned previously) not to mention Dandelion and Burdock.
Mind you, it is hard (though not impossible) to get Kimberley biscuits.

SharpshooterTom

From my experiances I don't think the Irish are that well loved in England.

I would say most of them don't care. But do remember that 720+ soilders died in Northern Ireland, thats a whole generation of people who served over here and would have anti-Irish views.

I say this because I grew up in England as a plastic paddy/Ireland supporter and I remember a lot of bad stuff being said about them at the time of the riots at Lansdowne in 95' at school etc. I wasn't let into a house once because I wore an Ireland shirt to friends father who was a former paratrooper.

Pherekydes

Where To wrote: »

An english person is anyone who speaks english either as a first or additional language.

So Irish, Scottish, Welsh, Canadian, American, Australian, New Zealander and maybe half the remainder are in fact English?

BIG BAD JOHN

Gnobe wrote: »

From my experiances I don't think the Irish are that well loved in England.

I would say most of them don't care. But do remember that 720+ soilders died in Northern Ireland, thats a whole generation of people who served over here and would have anti-Irish views.

I say this because I grew up in England as a plastic paddy/Ireland supporter and I remember a lot of bad stuff being said about them at the time of the riots at Lansdowne in 95' at school etc. I wasn't let into a house once because I wore an Ireland shirt to friends father who was a former paratrooper.

I think it's much better than it used to be, not that it was ever intolerably bad so far as I'd be concerned. I've lived in England at 3 times, in the 60s for 5 years, 70s for 7 years and all last year and part of this.
My main grumble is the need of some you meet to tell you Irish "jokes" which are usually unfunny.

SafeSurfer

Warm Beer

Cricket on the village green

Naughty seaside postcards

Stiff upper lip

Sense of fair play

Eccentric

mikemac1

lashings and lashings of ginger ale!

SafeSurfer

Gnobe wrote: »

I was born in England to Irish parents. Lived there till I was 14.

I've been living here now for nearly 12 years and I still speak with an English accent.

I don't consider myself English in the slightest, never have done. I grew up being a plastic paddy and supporting Ireland. I don't so much now because I recognise I can't be Irish (at least properly) with an English accent, but I was never English in England and often called an "Irish c*nt" and all the rest of it with all the Ireland tops at school etc.

I sort of cheered on Sweden yesturday if I'm being honest, knewing they were going to lose.

I dont really consider myself anything in all honesty I'm a bit messed up.

Marwood: [voiceover] If The Crow and Crown had ever had life it was dead now. It was like walking into a lung. A self-sustained nicotine-yellow and fly-blown lung. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. By the time the doors opened he was arseholed on rum and got progressively more arseholed until he could take no more and fell over at about 12 o'clock.
[the drunken pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down]
General: Thought I was going for a minute. But no man's put me down yet. Have you had any training in the martial arts?
Withnail: Yes, as a matter of fact I have. Before I became a journalist I was in the Territorials.
General: Do you know, when you first came in here I knew you were a services man. You can never, never disguise it.
Withnail: What were you in?
General: Tanks. Afrika Korps. A little before your time. Don't suppose you've engaged, have you?
Withnail: Ireland.
General: Oooh, a crack at the Mick?
Withnail: We'll have another pair of large scotches.
General: These shall be my pleasure.
[he pours their drinks]
General: What are you doing up here, then?
Withnail: We're doing a feature for Country Life. Survey of rural types, you know, farmers, travelling tinkers, milkmen, that sort of thing.
General: Have you met Jake? Poacher. Works the lake, but keep it under your hat, hmm?
[they go and sit down with their drinks]
Marwood: What's all this Army bollocks?
Withnail: We got a drink, didn't we?

hatrickpatrick

It still works, people are doing it wrong.
It's not "define an english person", it's "what defines an English person" (without quotes)

Pedant

I used to know an English person once. He was very pompous. We used to call him Mr. Pompous. Needless to say, we didn't like him. All English people seem to be like that; pompous, full of themselves, etc...

MeteoritesEire

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

It still works, people are doing it wrong.
It's not "define an english person", it's "what defines an English person" (without quotes)

ahh now that starts to make sense of this whole debacle
third result is this imgur image http://imgur.com/gxVtx with 120,000 views
from Reddit no doubt so this C.U.N.T. thing has been reddit bombed I'd wager

BIG BAD JOHN

Pedant wrote: »

I used to know an English person once. He was very pompous. We used to call him Mr. Pompous. Needless to say, we didn't like him. All English people seem to be like that; pompous, full of themselves, etc...

You don't seem to have met all that many English people.

Pedant

BIG BAD JOHN wrote: »

You don't seem to have met all that many English people.

If you've met one, you've met them all.

diabloro

Someone who was born in England I suppose.

christmas2012

coronation street,eastenders,emmerdale,umm high tea and scones,biscuits and or crumpet,ginger ale,and the union jack..dry wit and dry smiles thats all that comes to mind for now..

NinjaK

Bloodthirsty invaders

JupiterKid

The English have a huge amount in common with the Irish - much more than we would care to admit.

The anti-Irish thing is largely gone now. Look at the amount of English when you get talking to them who bring up their Irish relatives/ancestors.

The "stiff upper lip" thing is also largely gone - I think people outside of England have an image of the English circa 1931 or thereabouts. They are a much more open, tolerant, relaxed and chilled out people now.

One of the most chilled, easygoing and least pretentious person among my friends is English (mind you she does live in Cork).:pac:

Also English humour is probably the finest in the world and they gave us the wonderful snack that are Twiglets so I say yay to our brethren across the sea.:D

Glassheart

Gnobe wrote: »

I say this because I grew up in England as a plastic paddy/Ireland supporter and I remember a lot of bad stuff being said about them at the time of the riots at Lansdowne in 95' at school etc.

Hold on a second,the Engerlish were bad mouthing us after they came here,trashed our stadium and started giving nazi salutes?
They've got no shame,everything is somebody else's fault.

christmas2012

there is a hooliganism element in england,but obviously not every english person is like that,some people over there dont care about football or anything or any behaviour affiliated with it..

Prometheus

Definition of an English person is, someone who, when left alone in a room, cannot resist the temptation to put a tea cosy on their head.

validusername1

Someone born/raised in England.

Fratton Fred

The sign of a true Englishman, is one who can't walk past a game of cricket without pausing for a few minutes to watch.

mikemac1

And stealing players like Ed Joyce from the fine English county of Wicklow

Monty Burnz

later12 wrote: »

OMG I'm having deja vu


lol

Again?

Monty Burnz

Pedant wrote: »

If you've met one, you've met them all.

Says more about you tbh.

Pedant

Monty Burnz wrote: »

Says more about you tbh.

Loike, OMG, how dare you!! :mad: Didn't you the memo?! Everybody loves me!!

Monty Burnz

Pedant wrote: »

Loike, OMG, how dare you!! :mad: Didn't you the memo?! Everybody loves me!!

Uh...ok.