hysterical crying at bed time

quad_red

Hi,

Looking for any suggestions here.

Have a six month old boy. A very good sleeper. Once he gets to sleep he sleeps for the night, right through to when we get up at 7am. He goes down for his naps on cue all day (including in his cot).

But... bed time has become an issue in the last few weeks.

We have a routine... his dinner around 5, his bath at six, last booby feed, then I bring him up to his bedroom, we do a little story, say good night to all his teddies... all very relaxed and sleepy. At this point he's clearly sleepy.. rubbing eyes etc. And we've messed with the times to see if a little bit earlier or later would work.

And then bang.. 2/3 minutes after putting him down the hysterical crying starts. Again, tonight it's the same. I've checked his nappy to make sure he isn't dirty, winded him.

But he seems to be going backgrounds in terms of self soothing as the days are going past. Getting more and more worked up. Even when I'm kneeling by the cot with my hand on his tummy (as the book suggests), he'll only stop if I pick him up.

And we don't want him to develop bad associations with bed time.

Any suggestions of what to do here?

Cheers,
Quad

Cat Melodeon

Is he teething? My lad would only become bothered by teething at bedtime - it was as if removing all other daytime distractions made him realise there was pain there. We used combinations or variations on teetha granules, bonjela, nurofen and calpol (obv not all at the same time!) depending on how much pain he was in or how little sleep he'd had the previous night. If yours hasn't cut any teeth yet, keep an eye on his bottom gum - the lower incisors are usually the first to come through and usually appear around the 6 month mark. It usually takes about a week for them to come through and once you can see them the worst is over. The teetha granules sachets are great for calming an upset baby and is a totally natural product so can be tried even if you're not sure teething is the underlying cause.

LashingLady

He's not going backwards at all wtih the self soothing. I think it's more likely that he is developing and starting to get and understanding of object permanence (that you still exist when he can't see you and that he's a seperate person from you) and seperation anxiety is starting to kick in for him. Most babies will go through (many) phases where the perfect old routine doesn't work any more.

There are lots of theories of how to deal with bedtime problems - I'm sure you've heard of controlled crying, cry it out etc. Personally I think wtih a baby as young as yours that the approach you're taking - staying beside him and helping him to sooth himself - is the gentlest for him. Hopefully this phase won't last too long and he will learn to get the sleep easily again. However, it can often be a long and difficult road, particularly in the first two years when they are developing so much.

My little girl used to go to her cot easily up to around 6 months. At that point the clocks went forward and I thought it was the light that was making it hard for her to go to sleep. She just would not go in the cot anymore. I started giving her her last bottle downstairs and getting her to sleep in teh buggy and then moving her. With my older fella also going to bed I couldn't have lots of crying causing havoc for both bedtimes. She still won't go to sleep in her cot now at 15 months, but I move her up from her buggy after about an hour, and it works for us at the moment so I cna't really complain.......

wmpdd3

I just want to say, putting baby asleep in the buggy and then bringing them up to be after an hour or so can work great. A friend had a similar problem. She only has 2 bedrooms but 2 children and the 2nd one would wake the first. She spent a year putting baby no2 asleep in the buggy first. When they were 2 and 3 she decided she'd try put them tobed at the same time.

After 3 nights they both had story hugs bed at 7:30 and never looked back. Everyone told her she'd have problems down the road but she didnt.

Dades

Perhaps, as the Health Nurse told my wife about our fella at that age, he sees "S U C K E R" written on your forehead.

I was a "sucker" with my daughter, and used to have to wait until she was asleep until sneaking out of her room (even had to oil the door hinges to make me more ninja-like). Must have lost patience the second time. So when it dawned on me that I was running upstairs every time, I played hardball for a few days and whatever was 'ailing' magically went away. (To be fair - it probably it an increased awareness thing...)

Bad daddy - but we have two happy kippers that demand bedtime now!

soddy1979

We have the exact same problem. Little man hates, and I mean hates going to bed. That said, once he is asleep, he's fine for the night - but oh how he cries and wails when we put him into bed.

My wife and I take it in turns to put him into cot. We lay him down, say goodnight and sit in the room with him. He will start screaming after a few minutes and keep doing that for half an hour to an hour. We go back to him, tell him its ok, rub his face etc, but we don't pick him up (unless he is in physical distress!). He knows we are there! We comfort him, and eventually he nods off. We have seen definite improvement. He was asleep after about 5 minutes last night (lol but he woke up at 5.45am and wanted to play for a couple of hours)

In our case, I think LashingLady is on the money. He just seems to not like going to bed, but we try to make the experience as happy for him as possible.

nesf

Dades wrote: »

Perhaps, as the Health Nurse told my wife about our fella at that age, he sees "S U C K E R" written on your forehead.

I was a "sucker" with my daughter, and used to have to wait until she was asleep until sneaking out of her room (even had to oil the door hinges to make me more ninja-like). Must have lost patience the second time. So when it dawned on me that I was running upstairs every time, I played hardball for a few days and whatever was 'ailing' magically went away. (To be fair - it probably it an increased awareness thing...)

Bad daddy - but we have two happy kippers that demand bedtime now!

Yeah we kind of had that for a while there with my wife (not me, oh I wasn't acceptable!) having to sit in with our daughter to make sure she stayed in the cot. We've broken her by this stage though and my wife can retire to our room and relax for a while while our daughter plays in her cot and "reads" for a while. She generally falls asleep on top of her books with her Duplo and dolls arrayed around her. Less than ideal but it's working for us at the moment.


Our kids seem allergic to early bedtimes though.