Weird work colleagues

William_Hicley

Deleted User wrote: »

I worked in a place before and honest to god, the jacks were something out a horror film.

Every couple of weeks the jacks would be destroyed in sh1te. It always puzzled me how the unknown assaliant would get the to such a state. The only possible way that someone could cause the devestation I saw was if they stood 3 foot infront of the jacks, bent over and blunderbussed all over the wall, sistern, toilet, floor and event the paper dispenser.

The Phantom ****ter strikes again! Every work place seems to have one

k.p.h

Aggressive sh|ts are better than passive sh|ts any day ...

Great thread ...

Teyla Emmagan

pow wow wrote: »

I worked with a woman years ago who had an imaginary boyfriend. The guy was real (a lounge singer from Butlins who was 'famous' on the circuit) he just wasn't her boyfriend or anything to do with her. She'd have elaborate arguments with him on the phone (as in screeching down a phone with no-one on the other end) and once a day my boss used to put an empty call through to her saying, so all the office could hear, that it was this guy on the line. She'd fabricated an entire life that this guy was part of yet he had no idea who she was. We were never sure if playing into the fantasy was a hindrance or a help but we did most of the time because no-one wanted to be the one who pushed her over the edge.

That is fantastic. Poor woman!

Cork24

Whats a job without some weird cu*t who smells acts funny.. i have about 6 people who are weird.. one of them was learning to drive, and hes car stopped dead at the Roundabout, couldnt get it working again so he gets out and starts kicking the F**k out of his own car in the Middle of the round about.. and left the car and started to work back to work..

one of the Van Drivers were telling us that he saw him at the Magic round about doing it.

Mike 1972

Posted this in R&R a while back. However the guy in question is no longer with us owing to some ill advised comments regarding migrant workers.

working fool wrote: »

Ones a racist and the other is a homophobe and they hate eachother !

Let me guess.......

Theyre actually half brothers and one is gay while the other is mixed race ?

Cork24 wrote: »

hes car stopped dead at the Roundabout, couldnt get it working again so he gets out and starts kicking the F**k out of his own car in the Middle of the round about.. and left the car and started to work back to work...

You work with Basil Fawlty ?

COYW

William_Hicley wrote: »

The Phantom ****ter strikes again! Every work place seems to have one

We don't have one but we do have a phantom who stuffs toilet paper down the sinks and leaves the water running. One other lad, carries a box of corn flakes around with him all morning in a tesco bag, everywhere he goes, including the toilet.

working fool

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Posted this in R&R a while back. However the guy in question is no longer with us owing to some ill advised comments regarding migrant workers.

working fool wrote: »

Ones a racist and the other is a homophobe and they hate eachother !

Let me guess.......

Theyre actually half brothers and one is gay while the other is mixed race ?

Cork24 wrote: »

hes car stopped dead at the Roundabout, couldnt get it working again so he gets out and starts kicking the F**k out of his own car in the Middle of the round about.. and left the car and started to work back to work...

You work with Basil Fawlty ?

Nope !
There from Navan , if that helps ?

ringadingding

It never fails to amaze me the amount of people who have actually managed to get jobs, and then have no idea to behave in a work environment.

The lack of toilet training, especially amongst males is a sham. Not flushing is rife as is leaving **** stains everywhere, I don't understand how these people cant see that one of their colleagues has to clean up after them.

I once worked with a crazy German chef, the waiter done something to offend him, the chef put a silver platter into the pizza oven for half an hour, took it out, put a cold sandwhich on it and handed it to the waiter as if it was a cold plate, the waiters screams echoed through the restaurant, the red hot platter had melted his skin, the chef went for a fag, and walked back in 5 mins later as though nothing had happened, and never mentioned it again.

silvervixen84

I'm the weird one at my office, and I'm not in IT :P

DEFTLEFTHAND

Whats with people desecrating public/work toilet bowels in such a foul manner. Do they do the same when they're at home.

Martyn1989

Wouldn't IT oddballs definatly be on boards?

brummytom

There's a very very odd bloke at my work. He reckons himself to be a singer, he's obsessed with (and, I think harrassed) his 'good friend' Katherine Jenkins, think he's had a restraining order from someone.

He came out with a cracker yesterday. He brought in his EP (God awful) and claimed, with not a hint of a smile, "It's been number one in Peru for 5 years".

FloatingVoter

brummytom wrote: »

There's a very very odd bloke at my work. He reckons himself to be a singer, he's obsessed with (and, I think harrassed) his 'good friend' Katherine Jenkins, think he's had a restraining order from someone.

He came out with a cracker yesterday. He brought in his EP (God awful) and claimed, with not a hint of a smile, "It's been number one in Peru for 5 years".

This is the Peruvian top 100 for week 34 this year

Linky: http://www.americatop100.com/?option=com_content&view=article&id=4346:peru-tracks-top-100-semana-34-2011&catid=153:peru-2010

Call his bluff and thank the lord he can use a toilet.

magma69

ringadingding wrote: »

It never fails to amaze me the amount of people who have actually managed to get jobs, and then have no idea to behave in a work environment.

The lack of toilet training, especially amongst males is a sham. Not flushing is rife as is leaving **** stains everywhere, I don't understand how these people cant see that one of their colleagues has to clean up after them.

I once worked with a crazy German chef, the waiter done something to offend him, the chef put a silver platter into the pizza oven for half an hour, took it out, put a cold sandwhich on it and handed it to the waiter as if it was a cold plate, the waiters screams echoed through the restaurant, the red hot platter had melted his skin, the chef went for a fag, and walked back in 5 mins later as though nothing had happened, and never mentioned it again.

Evil and obviously inappropriate but credit where it's due, that's a creative prank. :pac:

RichieC

wilkie2006 wrote: »

Domo230 wrote: »

Does he work in IT by any chance?

You get a lot of oddballs there. It used to make me feel decidedly normal.

No, but he works with maths and statistics.

ahhhhh.. that explains it.

brummytom

FloatingVoter wrote: »

This is the Peruvian top 100 for week 34 this year

Linky: http://www.americatop100.com/?option=com_content&view=article&id=4346:peru-tracks-top-100-semana-34-2011&catid=153:peru-2010

Call his bluff and thank the lord he can use a toilet.

Angeles, I'm sorry I doubted you!

aujopimur

No more posts please, I'm going to piss myself laughing.

Rolli

I work with a guy (Well, I only worked with him on one project) who seems to think he's never wrong! I remember I had to stay back in work for nearly 2 hours fixing his mistake!

wilkie2006

OldGoat wrote: »

Hang on. Your boss doesn't supply pens for staff? What kind of a ****e job is that to work in?

Not at all. We have all the standard office accoutrements. What I thought was weird is that he decided to bring his own supplies in. Trying to sell them on was another level of unconventional behaviour.

OldGoat wrote: »

As for his retort to the "Has Adam given you a breakdown?" Comic genius.
You should be thankful.

I'd love to think that when he gets home, he's chatting to his wife saying, "Jesus, wait until I tell you what I did today...! They all think I'm such a freak, it's gas. Tomorrow I'm going to tuck the back of my shirt into my y-fronts and see how long I can get away with it. Now that I think of it, is there any Marmit I could smear on them?..."

Unfortunately, I don't think it's a character he's playing. If it emerges that it is, I'll be the first to doff my cap to him.

wilkie2006

wilkie2006 wrote: »

About a fortnight ago a new guy started at my office....

Since the New Year, my weird colleague has started up Salsa or Flamenco dancing on a Monday evening. Now, there's nothing wrong with that but today - all day - he wore something that looks like this to work...

robman60

Haha, some great stories here!

I often wonder if some of the teachers in my school are actually serious about the things they say to be honest.

Lanaier

Cork24 wrote: »

Whats a job without some weird cu*t who smells acts funny.. i have about 6 people who are weird.

ya...7 person office right? :pac: