having 2 babies close in age?

Queen of Sheebs

I have a 6 month old and we are considering starting to try for another baby now. just wondering if anyone has anything to share about having 2 babies close in age...good or bad?! How did your body cope with the second pregnancy? Did u feel guilty about not spending as much time with the older child after the new baby cames along? Do you feel guilty not being able to give the same attention to the new baby as you did to your first? Are you way more restricted from getting out and about with 2 very young children? what were the advantages of having 2 close in age. What stages were the hardest? When did u notice it becoming easier or does it? Would u have 2 close together again if u had the choice again? Sorry for all the questions!! Thanks.

Recon

I was born in May 83, my sister in September 84, third and final child was December 86. I find that I'm alot closer to my oldest sister and I think the small age gap has something to do with it.

CathyMoran

Our two (so far) are less than 14 months apart - yes, it was hard for the pregnancy as I could not always lift my son towards the end and the morning sickness was harder when I was caring for another wonderful little baby. Our son is over 20 months old and his little sister is over 6 months old and yes it is tiring but it is great fun - I am begging my husband for one more so it can not be that bad! It is easier to get a babysitter for one child rather than for two (the rare times you need it) and when you have two upset/teething babies it is a big challenge but it is also wonderful. My two are very close and really love one another, he is always trying to give her toys.

wmpdd3

I am 8 months pregnant and my little girl is 15 months old. It turns out she was 7 months when I got pregnant ( I was on the pill).

I am delighted NOW, but the only downfall has been that I have sciatica much worse now than I had when I was pregnant with her. I was just starting to really heal after her, I mean, I was getting back into swimming, I was getting more flexible etc.

As above, I havent been able to carry my daughter up the stairs for 2 months. I can't put her in her car seat, lift her out of the bath etc. She only weights 22 pound!!

If you had any ailments in the first pregnancy, I would just consider what getting pregnant again would mean.

Other that that, its all fine, I now work part-time as I was working 50hrs plus per week. I have also taken a junior position which can be hard sometimes, but I only have to look at my little girl and all the snide comments disappear from my head. I run the house like a company, we have a budget for everything, but will alot less money we are still happier!

My sister has a boy and then a girl with 18 months between them and they are really inseparable. I will also have a girl and a boy. Her two really look after each other unlike me and my siblings (2.5 years between each) who bloody killed each other and it was each for ourselves until we were 21.

I would still advise for having 2 together, though we never discussed it or planned it this way.

cynder

17 month age gap between my boys and they are best of buds, they do kill eachother sometimes and are a lot like twins.

wouldnt have it anyother way one is in s.infants the other is in j. infants.

January

I have 14 months between my first two girls and then a 20 month gap between the second and the third. Mornings and evenings are run like clockwork, oldest gets dressed first, then middle child, then baby and in the evenings it's nearly a reverse order with the middle child going to bed first (she loves her sleep so goes between 6-7pm most nights) and then the baby and the oldest following about 8 o'clock after the babies last feed. Baby who is 12 weeks tomorrow is almost sleeping through.

I sailed through all my pregnancies though and spending time with each child individually is really important, when I had the second, myself and the oldest girl would cuddle on the sofa and watch a few cartoons or read a story together before she went to bed. Now that the youngest has come along the middle girl comes shopping with us while we leave the eldest and the baby with my parents, or to the playground for a little while.

The Princess Bride

I had my 3rd when my oldest was 4years- wouldn't do it any other way if I had to do it again.
Having said that,I was in my 20s, yes,it was a busy few years, but in some ways it was easy as I just got on with it.
I know a few families with significant gaps between their children( as in 5-11 years) seems to me like they've 2 or 3 families as opposed to one, as sometimes the children have nothing in common as the older sibling is like another adult.
Sometimes,it works out like that,without anyone planning it that way.
But if it's do-able, makes sense to have the family close in age then get the nappies/buggies etc.....out of the way asap!

Queen of Sheebs

Cheers for the replies. really nervous about trying again but i definitely want another baby. I reckon it's going to be hard no matter how long i wait.... if i think about it too much i'll never be ready! Had spd in first pregnancy so worried about that too.

slarkin123

I think its a great idea having them close in age. At least they have each other to play with as they get older. Mine are 10, 8 and nearly 2. I find the older 2 spoil the baby much more than i do and give into his every little moan or whatever he wants. I might as well be talking to the wall telling them not to but all i get is ahh he's only a baby. Major trouble ahead

lynski

I have 3 under 5 (5,3, 10mths) the first 2 are exactly 2 yrs (and 3 wks) apart and they are crazy about each other, play so well together and with other children. They have the baby ruined - spoilt rotten. as i speak the 3 yr old is sitting on the floor 'giving out' to the baby.
I cant imagine a bigger gap as i think i would have gotten too used to not having nappies and night waking and all that and for them it is is great they are so close.
the jump from 1 to 2 is massive and just as big again from 2 to 3, but in our house 3 is the magic number

Yve

I'll let you know very shortly

I have a little man who is 10 months old and I am 6 and a half months pregnant.

we wanted them close together, get everything done at similar time kind of a thing...

will let you know all the madness !

Naturally this pregnancy has absolutely flown so far and apparently having them so close means the labour will be much easier as not everything has tightened and is back to normal Here's hoping

Queen of Sheebs

Think i might postpone baby no.2! Baby no 1 was up twice last night for feeds. so frustrated!! Thought we had problem solved with dream feed. Ran away with myself because i had 2 good nights sleep! Reality hitting today!

wmpdd3

Same here, up all night with teething, then when I went back to bed, I had heartburn. When I got up and changed baby no.1 she kicked me in my bump and winded me.

But I dont mind, I am on maternity leave so I'm not working, this is my job! In 6 months I'll be back to work 25 hrs per week. That makes a massive difference.

Cat Melodeon

My boy is 2 and 4 months, my girl is 6 weeks old. It's too early to say whether or not they'll get on, but the downsides so far have been having to change nappies while suffering morning sickness, toddler not having any notion of what could harm the baby, and not having as much time to coo over the new baby. Upsides are that all of the baby stuff from #1 is still good for #2, they won't be too far apart in what will interest them when it comes to holidays, trips out, activities etc.

I've been so much quicker to recover after #2 that I'm actually considering a third (:eek::eek::eek:). Never thought I would even dream of that as the 2nd pregnancy wasn't easy and we could do with me earning again, but I was up and at 'em the day after I gave birth to my girl and I'm madly crazily sorta broody already! If we do decide to go again, I won't be leaving as big a gap (all working out to plan). If I weren't pregnant within a year, I don't think I'd go again, we just couldn't afford me not to be working any longer than that +18months or so.

Just to add, I don't think the age gap really determines what kind of relationship your kids will have. There are fairly big gaps between me and my siblings (I have one sister 4 years older, and three sibs who are 5, 11 and 15 years younger) and we all are very close - all four are my closest friends as well as my siblings. I have friends with brothers and sisters very close in age to them who don't get on well at all, so age gaps aren't the only thing influencing how they'll get on.

Hannibal Smith

There's something in the air! I'd love another one too...the baby is only 10 weeks and the boy is 2 and a half. There's no way I would have another one, it's hard enough with a toddler and a baby, imagine two babies and a toddler :eek: But I would like another one.

I did feel all those things you described when I got pregnant the last time, ie bad about not spending so much time with my first etc. So I guess whether you have another baby now, or two years down the road, you'll still feel those feelings.

You already know that stuff like morning sickness and the difficult early days with a baby etc are only temporary, so if you can put up with them there's no reason why not!

Rosy Posy

I have a small age gap between my first two (a year and a half) and a three year age gap between the second and third. I have to say that I'm finding the bigger age gap a lot easier. The closeness between my first two is great now but it was really hard for the first year and I feel now like I forced my eldest to grow up before he was ready and expected more from him than I should have. Also my body was really drained from being pregnant, breastfeeding, being pregnant and breastfeeding again with no break.

From what you were saying about being frustrated by your child being up twice in the night...it sound like your first baby was a 'good' one- up twice in the night is good/standard for a lot of babies (all of mine!) and you don't know what kind you're going to get... you might have an easy pregnancy or you might not (I had terrible back problems in my second pregnancy which made carrying/chasing my toddler impossible) you might have a dream baby that sleeps thru from early on or you might have one that wakes every two hours round the clock or refuses to be put down, so you have to factor this in when planning

It also depends on how much support you have- we have no family close by and my husband's work is not flexible and I think that that made a big difference to us.

guitarzero

As the eldest, my bro is one year younger. He has a scar on his cheek I gave him when he was one. I was jealous of the attention he was getting according to my mam. Ever since that moment there's been an underlying mutual hatred...in me...for life.