What's the worst lie you've ever told? Were you caught?

Kimia

For me it was lying to my parents about being caught shoplifting in quinnsworth when i was 12. I can't remember if I ever told them about it so I never mention it, better stay on the safe side. Feels so scummy that I ever shoplifted!

Kevin Duffy

I won't co....oh, too late.

Eathrin

This thread happens so frequently

Sky King

Put my head through the rear passenger window of a car which flipped over into a ditch while being 'driven' at extremely high speed by my 16YO mate when I was 15. Had to walk home though the fields in the middle of the night, arrived in the door shaking, shivering and covered in blood at 3AM to an entire family sitting up waiting for me.

Told my parents I had cut my head on the roof of a tractor (i didnt realised how bad i looked) - ould lad thought I had been in a bar brawl and didn;t believe my tractor yarn. He never found out the truth!

The Princess Bride

Not only the worst lie, but a horrible lie.

Needed wanted Needed a day off work to go to a concert.
Pretended a close relation had died, deserved an Oscar for my acting, between my shaking and my crying..........
Got the day off, went to gig, but didn't enjoy it as I was afraid I'd be seen .


Sorry Bono:o

Zen65

Kimia wrote: »

What's the worst lie you've ever told? Were you caught?

I don't recall ever lying.

It's not in my nature.


Z

Eve_Dublin

Probably telling an ex I loved him and I didn't. Carried on pretending to myself and him for about 2 years even though I knew it was all crap. I dragged it out for 2 years (lived with him) and finally ended it and broke his heart. I was young but that was no excuse for my selfish behaviour.

Generally though, I'd be quite an honest person.

Dartz

I haven't touched a drop all night, Gard

*Drive's off home.

membersonly

When I was 17 I went to a debs with a girl who was not my girlfriend...I had a big love bite on my neck the next day.

I explained it by telling her that I had fallen on the bus home and scrapped my neck on one of the seats.

Don't know which was worse, the lie or the fact that she believed me.

Rabies

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Probably telling an ex I loved him and I didn't. Carried on pretending to myself and him for about 2 years even though I knew it was all crap. I dragged it out for 2 years (lived with him) and finally ended it and broke his heart. I was young but that was no excuse for my selfish behaviour.

Generally though, I'd be quite an honest person.

Eve_Dublin will now be renamed Evil_Dublin

Johnny Foreigner

Crown Court Prosecution Barrister:
Can you tell the court why you had a loaded shotgun in the boot of your vehicle on the day in question?
Me:
I was going clay pigeon shooting.
(Case was dismissed).
Long runs the fox.

membersonly

I tell people who work for charities that I'm in a rush a good bit.

Kimia

Zen65 wrote: »

I don't recall ever lying.

It's not in my nature.


Z

I bet you're lying. :pac:

cocalolaman

membersonly wrote: »

I tell people who work for charities that I'm in a rush a good bit.

You evil bastard.

Bullchomper

I don't think people are all that bad...

:eek:

SPURIOUS LIES!

MagicMarker

I worst lie I ever told was the truth.

brummytom

Got sent to the Deputy Headteacher in year 8 I think, for being rude to girls, talking about anal sex and stuff.


He rang my dad, and gave him some kind of vague idea of what I was saying. Came home, dad went to lamp me one, but mom screamed at him to let me explain. I made up the most ridiculous story about how a girl was being hard on the way she looked, I was comforting her and someone overheard and got the wrong end of the stick. I don't really think dad bought it but mom did. I haven't been caught... yet!

razzyy

That im joking when i say something people dont take seriously

Sanity_Saviour

Ended up entering into a fake relationship with a girl in order to get this other one(who absolutely hated the one I was in the "relationship" with) to leave me alone as it had gotten to the stage where i wasn't allowed talk to other girls.

Couple of months later after a "break-up" was told by a good mate that, "unless you get with *yer wan* we really can't talk anymore, for her sake". So she repeatedly asked me was it real after we were together for a good 6 months, obviously saying no.

By the time I was caught ( after she asked the one i was "going out with") I was long gone, though she did get with my best friend in an attempt to even things out...still friends with him

I. Am. A. Scumbag.

Mr Keek

Told parents tht the registered post they signed for me was concert tickets being delivered and not a Court Summons.

Got away with it, thank god it was just the post man an not a Garda tht delivered!

skipz

I went to school in Perth in the 90's, told the teacher that my father was working in the zoo and thats why we moved from Ireland.
I also said that we lived beside the zoo and i was always in feeding the lions.
The teacher and the class took the bulls1te hook line and sinker, until the teacher asked my mother would it be possible if your husband could come in and talk to the pupils about his job and the animals at the zoo.......:p



To this day iam still proud of that one!

ColeTrain

Told my manager that I wasn't coming in for the week because my grandmother died, he didn't believe me so I told him it was the other one.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

skipz

ColeTrain wrote: »

Told my manager that I wasn't coming in for the week because my grandmother died, he didn't believe me so I told him it was the other one.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Thanks for that, i just puked all over my laptop..

ColeTrain

skipz wrote: »

Thanks for that, i just puked all over my laptop..

Just as well I didn't go for a picture of his Range Rover..

hoorsmelt

Was goin out with a girl fer a while, boring old bint and I wanted to get shot but didn't know what to say, so I dumped her by telling her I was gay and only went out with her in the first place because she looked male.

Mycroft H

hoorsmelt wrote: »

Was goin out with a girl fer a while, boring old bint and I wanted to get shot but didn't know what to say, so I dumped her by telling her I was gay and only went out with her in the first place because she looked male.

Bollocks

hoorsmelt

BX 19 wrote: »

Bollocks

Is that you Caroline?

ColeTrain

hoorsmelt wrote: »

Was goin out with a girl fer a while, boring old bint and I wanted to get shot but didn't know what to say, so I dumped her by telling her I was gay and only went out with her in the first place because she looked male.

If you're telling the truth then that story doesn't do you any favours tbh.

hoorsmelt

ColeTrain wrote: »

If you're telling the truth then that story doesn't do you any favours tbh.

And you're from Mayo

Kimia

hoorsmelt wrote: »

And you're from Mayo

Is that supposed to be bad?

ColeTrain

hoorsmelt wrote: »

And you're from Mayo

Your story is probably true..

hoorsmelt

Kimia wrote: »

Is that supposed to be bad?

Its a ****hole. We should sell it to the North Koreans for nuclear weapons testing. The genetic mutation might make them smarter.

Kimia

hoorsmelt wrote: »

Its a ****hole. We should sell it to the North Koreans for nuclear weapons testing. The genetic mutation might make them smarter.

Where are you from Hoorsmelt?

hoorsmelt

Kimia wrote: »

Where are you from Hoorsmelt?

Mullingar

ColeTrain

hoorsmelt wrote: »

Mullingar

Ah Mullingar, Awe-Inspiring..

hoorsmelt

ColeTrain wrote: »

Ah Mullingar, Awe-Inspiring..

At least we've more people than sheep hereabouts

ColeTrain

hoorsmelt wrote: »

At least we've more people than sheep hereabouts

When are the schools open again ffs..

hoorsmelt

ColeTrain wrote: »

When are the schools open again ffs..

Go on, run away, but you'll never escape the truth.

Jesus Wept

Sky King wrote: »

Put my head through the rear passenger window of a car which flipped over into a ditch while being 'driven' at extremely high speed by my 16YO mate when I was 15. Had to walk home though the fields in the middle of the night, arrived in the door shaking, shivering and covered in blood at 3AM to an entire family sitting up waiting for me.

Told my parents I had cut my head on the roof of a tractor (i didnt realised how bad i looked) - ould lad thought I had been in a bar brawl and didn;t believe my tractor yarn. He never found out the truth!

You're grounded.
Pm sent.

crazygeryy

i lied to boards.ie.

im not actually crazy

EveDublin

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Probably telling an ex I loved him and I didn't. Carried on pretending to myself and him for about 2 years even though I knew it was all crap. I dragged it out for 2 years (lived with him) and finally ended it and broke his heart. I was young but that was no excuse for my selfish behaviour.

Generally though, I'd be quite an honest person.

That's kind of harsh. Were you just trying to spare his feelings at first by not telling him?

bee_keeper

i once told lies to a judge , unfortunatley i wasnt as convincing of a liar as the other guy which is what winning in court is all about

old hippy

EveDublin wrote: »

That's kind of harsh. Were you just trying to spare his feelings at first by not telling him?

How about the troll posting under Eve Dublin's name? That's not a very nice thing to do, is it?

Aenaes

Must be the jilted boyfriend back for his revenge!

BillyMitchel

Working in Korea were sick days are a complete no no. Rang the boss that morning said my father fell off his bycle and had to be taking to hospital and that I was by my phone waiting on my mother to ring to tell me what happened etc etc.

Truth is I spent all night on AH reading the Feeky mcGee thread it was well worth it and of course my old man great recovery.

Probably not the worst but most recent memorable one.