Wednesday Funnies

MonkieSocks

A psychology professor at the University of Miami knew his students expected a terrifyingly long final exam.

To play with their minds a little (what do you expect from a psychology professor?) he only put ONE question on the final exam.

He watched the reactions of the students as they all opened the exams and saw the one question.

Initially they all looked relieved, but as the difficulty of the question began to sink in, those relieved faces sagged to confusion and consternation.

All, that is, except for one student.

He read the question, tapped his pencil into his palm a few times, then jotted something down on the test paper.

He walked up to the professor, handed him the final, and walked out.

The professor blinked in surprise, looked at what the student wrote, and smiled.

The professor wrote "100%" on the top of that student's test.

************************************************** **************************************************

The Question: What is courage?

The Student's Answer: This is.

_____________________________

One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.

It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it. The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Little Johnny."

"Good morning, Father," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.

"Father Scott, what is this?" Little Johnny asked.

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Little Johnny's voice was barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"

_____________________________

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the
family:

An old Italian man is dying.

He calls his grandson to his bedside,

“Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns, How about you leave me your Rolex
watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy.

Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa
money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed
with another man.

"Whatta you gonna do then?

Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?