The Newborn & Toddlers Off-Topic Chat Thread

Jerrica

I read something on another forum the other day, it was along the lines of "when you become a parent all kids become your kids". I actively avoid most news stories that involve the mistreatment of children, and I can't even stomach it in fiction. We watched American Sniper recently and anyone else who's seen it will know the scene involving a young boy in it, I was heaving tears after it and didn't want to watch anymore. I guess I can't even see the validity of seeing bad things happen to children for the sake of telling a story!

Woshy

Are Lidl nappies ok? I usually use cloth but for the next few weeks my little boy will be in disposables as we're staying at my parents and I'm due a baby soon, I don't want to go into labour and then come home afterwards to buckets of stinky nappies! I usually use Aldi or the Naty biodegradable ones if I'm using disposables but I won't get a chance to get there today. I will be near a Lidl though

Neyite

galah wrote: »

Ladies, i've a weird question for ya..

How are ye coping with any sort of 'baby' stuff in the news since you've become parents? Initially i thought it was just the hormones after pregnancy etc, but even 1.5 years after the last baby i find i cannot listen to, watch, or read any of those terrible news items about abandoned kids, abused kids, or sick kids. Or basically anything to do with babies or children.

I am constantly turning the radio off or trying not to look at news, and i get the feeling that the media keep exploiting these stories with as much mostly horrible detail as possible. If one of those items gets through, i feel like i just want to weep.

I defo wasnt like this before i became a mother.
Is this weird? Normal?

Just wondering...

Oh I've totally changed. I was able to read a biography that one of the police psychologists wrote on the James Bulger case years ago. Not a hope in hell that I could do that now. Even when TTC, the whole Baby P case came out and I was in absolute bits. Now, I could stomach some - like the little girl abandoned recently but only if I know no lasting harm had came to them. Or there was a case in China I think about a newborn rescued from a sewer pipe and I could only tolerate reading it because the baby was ultimately safe and well. My partner cant stomach any news articles about hurt kids since becoming a dad.

Woshy wrote: »

Are Lidl nappies ok? I usually use cloth but for the next few weeks my little boy will be in disposables as we're staying at my parents and I'm due a baby soon, I don't want to go into labour and then come home afterwards to buckets of stinky nappies! I usually use Aldi or the Naty biodegradable ones if I'm using disposables but I won't get a chance to get there today. I will be near a Lidl though

I've used them since birth and found them great.

bp

Woshy wrote: »

Are Lidl nappies ok? I usually use cloth but for the next few weeks my little boy will be in disposables as we're staying at my parents and I'm due a baby soon, I don't want to go into labour and then come home afterwards to buckets of stinky nappies! I usually use Aldi or the Naty biodegradable ones if I'm using disposables but I won't get a chance to get there today. I will be near a Lidl though

I found them grand - really depends on the baby. I find pampers best unfortunately they are the expensive ones! Others hate them

Sligo1

Neyite wrote: »

Oh I've totally changed. I was able to read a biography that one of the police psychologists wrote on the James Bulger case years ago. Not a hope in hell that I could do that now. Even when TTC, the whole Baby P case came out and I was in absolute bits. Now, I could stomach some - like the little girl abandoned recently but only if I know no lasting harm had came to them. Or there was a case in China I think about a newborn rescued from a sewer pipe and I could only tolerate reading it because the baby was ultimately safe and well. My partner cant stomach any news articles about hurt kids since becoming a dad.



I've used them since birth and found them great.

Omg Neyite, don't mention little James Bulger... Every time I hear his name I actually cry! I mean really cry!!!

Like you... I can just about stomach these things if I know the child is ultimately well. But if not... I find it unbearable.

Penny Dreadful

We're just back from our first swimming lesson with Water Babies and had a ball. Thoroughly recommend it for anyone who is considering booking swimming lessons for their little ones.

galah

Thank you all, it is great to know i'm not totally losing it when it comes to news so! I was seriously starting to think i wasnt able to cope with 'normal' life anymore!

James Bulger, baby p, all these horrible dreadful stories make despair for humanity though...i actively try to avoid any of these stories these days, same unfortunately goes for all those appeals (childline, kids in the third world etc). Cant watch it, have to switch channel or ignore the page, also really cant see how these terribly sad ads will actually raise revenue, but tbat's a different story i guess.

spottybananas

I don't find things about babies/children more upsetting now, my sis in law has been like that since she had her children and I'm mainly just bemused by it, I get more upset about older/elderly people in horrible news stories or tv dramas, I see them as still being someone's child but often expected to not be scared or lonely because they're "adults", I think this is influenced by lonely older people in my own life, especially my 90 year old Nan whimpering that she wanted her Mum when she was very ill

As I've only been a mum for 5 weeks I find at the moment anything about newborns hits home as obviously this is the first newborn I've spent this much time with, so any tiny baby I see or hear crying on tv I think they are all my baby I was watching Long Lost Family last night and to see a woman talk about giving up her 6 week old, it was the first time I could understand the real trauma of that. I wasn't upset by it, just more understanding and empathetic of the hell she went through.

On another note, I appear to have one of those Velcro babies I've read about. If he isn't on me he will settle for being about 2 foot away and able to see me, any further than that and he freaks out. Thank God I have a sling but sometimes even the time taken to put this on drives him to red faced gagging screaming, that's about 30 seconds! All I keep hearing from real life people is that that's the "problem" with breastfed babies, he only wants me. He's just over 5 weeks, so corrected age 2 weeks, I'm giving him leeway based on this and because 90% of the time I'm happy to snuggle him, but am being made to feel slightly precious and gullible by accepting it?

loubian

spottybananas wrote: »

I don't find things about babies/children more upsetting now, my sis in law has been like that since she had her children and I'm mainly just bemused by it, I get more upset about older/elderly people in horrible news stories or tv dramas, I see them as still being someone's child but often expected to not be scared or lonely because they're "adults", I think this is influenced by lonely older people in my own life, especially my 90 year old Nan whimpering that she wanted her Mum when she was very ill

As I've only been a mum for 5 weeks I find at the moment anything about newborns hits home as obviously this is the first newborn I've spent this much time with, so any tiny baby I see or hear crying on tv I think they are all my baby I was watching Long Lost Family last night and to see a woman talk about giving up her 6 week old, it was the first time I could understand the real trauma of that. I wasn't upset by it, just more understanding and empathetic of the hell she went through.

On another note, I appear to have one of those Velcro babies I've read about. If he isn't on me he will settle for being about 2 foot away and able to see me, any further than that and he freaks out. Thank God I have a sling but sometimes even the time taken to put this on drives him to red faced gagging screaming, that's about 30 seconds! All I keep hearing from real life people is that that's the "problem" with breastfed babies, he only wants me. He's just over 5 weeks, so corrected age 2 weeks, I'm giving him leeway based on this and because 90% of the time I'm happy to snuggle him, but am being made to feel slightly precious and gullible by accepting it?

Every baby is different and this is what you need to remember. I drove myself mad (and still sometimes do) about why she is clingy or anything, but it's because you're her/his mum! That's the bottom line and I wished I had understood that when my baby was only newborn. You're the first sense of calm they experience outside of the womb; you are their life for the first six months. N yes its daunting but you only realise it when they're older and running away from you that it is a special time.. I'm not giving out but I hate all this advice about whether or not a baby should be held or shouldn't, thus making new mothers feel guilty on top of trying to care for a new born AND yourself. It's natural that your baby will want you near. He was cooped up in a warm tight place for 9 months and is now in this place with bright lights, loud noises and too much space, so he will need you close by. but it does get easier. You will settle in to a routine and things will seem a lot easier and normal.

/rant

Jerrica

spottybananas wrote: »

On another note, I appear to have one of those Velcro babies I've read about. If he isn't on me he will settle for being about 2 foot away and able to see me, any further than that and he freaks out. Thank God I have a sling but sometimes even the time taken to put this on drives him to red faced gagging screaming, that's about 30 seconds! All I keep hearing from real life people is that that's the "problem" with breastfed babies, he only wants me. He's just over 5 weeks, so corrected age 2 weeks, I'm giving him leeway based on this and because 90% of the time I'm happy to snuggle him, but am being made to feel slightly precious and gullible by accepting it?

In the global grand scheme of things, Westerners are the weirdo's who don't see clinginess in a newborn as being normal. There are a variety of blog posts and articles about the concept of the Fourth Trimester, but I like this one from Sarah Ockwell-Smith. Your baby isn't really a velcro baby (and I do think there is such a thing and have seen it in action with a friend), I think your baby sounds like an entirely normal newborn

Anyone who says that a baby wanting to be in their Mama's arms (be their breastfed or otherwise) is a "problem" is incredibly misinformed (that's me being very diplomatic and not using the adjectives I'd like to :pac:).

spottybananas

Oh yep I'm all about the fourth trimester and tell anyone who listens, some I tell even if they don't want to listen I think it makes total sense, I LOVE to bore people with my "human babies are born too early" stuff and comparisons to animal babies. For years I was fascinated by why animal babies were so much more advanced than human ones, the fourth trimester thing was literally like, THIS is what I've been searching for! Totally answers it.

Ah sure I've already been told I'm "like an African" with him in the sling, more than once. Call it what you like, I have two free hands, cooked food, a relatively clean house and a quiet baby, I love my sling! I gently explain that tons of cultures do this, not just Africans, people are so far removed from old/traditional ways of doing things IMO.

I've decided that for times when I just have to put him down (like now when the sling is in the wash and I need food or when I'm worried about falling asleep holding him) swaddling is the way forward. He loves it, SCBU swaddled him from day one so he "knows" it, it keeps him cosy when I can't, and I'm doing it with only breathable fabrics that only restrain his arms and aren't near his face, so that's that. I love how the hospital swaddle him but then tell you not to, stupid system. His flailing arms keep him awake at every opportunity.

And on that note, I have dinner in the oven, a cake baked, clothes washed, myself washed and baby fed and asleep, I'm quite happy with how I'm doing this stuff so far. If I had some unbroken sleep I could take over the world

fro9etb8j5qsl2

Is it ok to ask here if anyone in the Limerick area wants a big bag of boys clothes from 3 months up to 12 months? I was going to keep them just in case there will be a NEXT BABY :eek: :pac: but we're moving house at the moment and we don't have the space. They are mostly from Pumpkin Patch and Tesco with a few bits from Next too. Looking at them now I'm nearly embarrassed at the amount of clothes we had for one little fella Anyways, if anyone wants them pm me, if not I'll give them to the charity shop at the end of the week.

cyning

Does anyone have any idea on the waiting list times for the cardiology dept in Crumlin? C was referred today with her heart murmur and wondering are we looking at weeks months or a year?! ITs privately if that makes any difference.

Sligo1

cyning wrote: »

Does anyone have any idea on the waiting list times for the cardiology dept in Crumlin? C was referred today with her heart murmur and wondering are we looking at weeks months or a year?! ITs privately if that makes any difference.

Cyning can you not ring up the private outpatients department and ask?

greenman09

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

We're just back from our first swimming lesson with Water Babies and had a ball. Thoroughly recommend it for anyone who is considering booking swimming lessons for their little ones.

We started this back in November when our little one was 5 weeks. We skipped a term and signed up again last month again. The effect it has on her is enormous. She loves the water and also helped with her head movements and that.
The photo shoot at the end of term one was good too and you can't help but buy the photos.
Water babies is pricey but the experience it gives the children's is priceless. If recommend it to anyone.

bp

cyning wrote: »

Does anyone have any idea on the waiting list times for the cardiology dept in Crumlin? C was referred today with her heart murmur and wondering are we looking at weeks months or a year?! ITs privately if that makes any difference.

Stupid phone lost my comment! Anyway you have to ring and say private (2 weeks for me two years ago) but two years public. Call reception and you'll get one over the phone

cyning

Sligo1 wrote: »

Cyning can you not ring up the private outpatients department and ask?

I've tried a few times but not getting any answer... I'd say they are very busy? I'm not in any major rush its a very routine appt but would like to have some idea of how long it takes!

Julo12

cyning wrote: »

Does anyone have any idea on the waiting list times for the cardiology dept in Crumlin? C was referred today with her heart murmur and wondering are we looking at weeks months or a year?! ITs privately if that makes any difference.

Think it depends on how "urgent" the referral letter makes it appear. We were referred by Holles st after the 2 wk check and got a call within a day for an appt in 3 wks- I was amazed and that was public. But Holles st did say they stressed how young baba was and that the x-Ray they did may have shown something of concern (tho they told me that was very unlikely). I've found them great in crumlin to be honest as even tho we waited quite long both times we were in to get seen initially once they start the process it's quite efficient-nurse, then ECG, then consultant. unlike Holles st which was a day of being called back and fwd to different parts of the hospital

cyning

Oh it's not urgent... C's heart murmur showed up at 10 months and she's almost 3 now. There's just a family history of cardiac problems hence the referral.

On the other hand S is going to be waiting 6 months to see a paedeatric immunologist despite everything which is an awful pain in the neck. She's running a low fever for 16 days now with no reason why. So we are playing the trying to avoid hospital game again!

cyning

bp wrote: »

Stupid phone lost my comment! Anyway you have to ring and say private (2 weeks for me two years ago) but two years public. Call reception and you'll get one over the phone

Oh missed that wow that's really quick I'll let them get letter first so and see how we go.

bp

I got the ECG and chest x-Ray done in holles st as a new born. I got it so fast as i wasn't picky over the doctor!

I hope S gets seen soon

Sligo1

cyning wrote: »

I've tried a few times but not getting any answer... I'd say they are very busy? I'm not in any major rush its a very routine appt but would like to have some idea of how long it takes!

Is the referral for a particular consultant?

cyning

Ya I can't find a number for him in crumlin but he does have a number for the mater private so might try that tomorrow... I was just ringing the out patients dept earlier.

Sligo1

cyning wrote: »

Ya I can't find a number for him in crumlin but he does have a number for the mater private so might try that tomorrow... I was just ringing the out patients dept earlier.

Cyning, you'll never get through on that number. And they have a couple different ones for private OPD. Ring 014096100 and ask to be put through to DR (whatever's) secretary. Tell them the number you have been ringing and say you can't get through on that one. They will transfer you to the secretary or another OPD number. Also ask them for the extension so if you don't get through the first time you can ring yourself subsequent times if you need to.

cyning

Thanks a million... I'd be lost without boards il do that tomorrow. I got a lovely pm from someone with help too.

Sligo1

cyning wrote: »

Thanks a million... I'd be lost without boards il do that tomorrow. I got a lovely pm from someone with help too.

That's great. Let us know if you get through.

Penny Dreadful

cyning wrote: »

Oh it's not urgent... C's heart murmur showed up at 10 months and she's almost 3 now. There's just a family history of cardiac problems hence the referral.

On the other hand S is going to be waiting 6 months to see a paedeatric immunologist despite everything which is an awful pain in the neck. She's running a low fever for 16 days now with no reason why. So we are playing the trying to avoid hospital game again!

A paediatric immunologist (specialising in allergies) was appointed in Crumlin a few months ago. She is the only one of these in the country and so the wait lists will be long regardless of being public or private.
If I was in your situation I'd ask my GP to follow up with a call and make sure your referral letter has at least been received and read. Then if needs be have it declared more urgent and you should get your appointment sooner.

cyning

There's two: Aideen Byrne in Crumlin and Jonathon Hourihane in Cork who we have been referred to. He's been practicing in CUH for quite a while now. I've been talking to secretary: privately his list is 9-10 months so we've been bumped up slightly already and are on list for cancellations too. It's actually ridiculous there are only two for the country. I don't think (and am open to correction on this if anyone knows differently) that she is taking on any private patients at the moment?

Suucee

A was reffered yesterday too for same thing. Publically i was told a year.
Hers was picked up at 2.5yrs and having been to paeds they cant say for certain if its an innocent murmur or more. Were mainly just confirming that it is an innocent one which her dad has.

polydactyl

Hi All,

S its likely Dr Walsh if he has a number in the Mater as he is one of the only ones who work there but they wont be able to help with his Paeds crumlin list.

The public list for a likely innocent heart mumur is a year or two and if they are not babies it will usually be a few months privately if they are otherwise healthy and well.

There is a third Immunologist in Galway too called Dr Moylett actually who does private as far as I am aware so just an option and Dr Aideen Byrne is likely "new contract" consultant who our fabulous HSE wont let do any private work.

Hope that's of some help.

cyning

I honestly don't think people realise how much help Ye are thank you so much I didn't know about Dr moylett in Galway. I'm going to see how her lists are. Hourihane is supposed to be fantastic.

I have an appt for C for the 30th of July for heart murmur which is great. And yup Dr Walsh

RentDayBlues

Does anyone else's toddler whinge as much as mine? She's almost 3 and some days it seems like one never ending whinge

Sligo1

RentDayBlues wrote: »

Does anyone else's toddler whinge as much as mine? She's almost 3 and some days it seems like one never ending whinge

Snap....

RentDayBlues

Sligo1 wrote: »

Snap....

You know yourself, you do everything nice for them and it's never good enough! Oh well, enough moaning and back to the sunbathing!

Sligo1

I'm at work today so u I'm actually having winge withdrawal at the minute. They seem so much happier when outside tho as opposed to inside so hopefully the weather stays nice for a few days . Happy sunbathing

bp

RentDayBlues wrote: »

Does anyone else's toddler whinge as much as mine? She's almost 3 and some days it seems like one never ending whinge

Yep!!!

RentDayBlues

bp wrote: »

Yep!!!

But now it's bedtime and I have wine and chocolate

Sligo1

RentDayBlues wrote: »

But now it's bedtime and I have wine and chocolate

Just home. Giant chocolate buttons here

bp

I had planned on chocolate but fell asleep before the toddler and baby!!!

bp

Is anyone else in tears over the tragic deaths in California - I don't know anyone directly involved but as a parent I can only begin to understand the pain of those left behind and hug my babies extra tight :-(

Penny Dreadful

bp wrote: »

Is anyone else in tears over the tragic deaths in California - I don't know anyone directly involved but as a parent I can only begin to understand the pain of those left behind and hug my babies extra tight :-(

Me too. Throw in the added fact that I'm 10 weeks pregnant on my second baby and I've discovered that I have to avoid the news these days. The case in the courts at the moment of the baby minder in Cavan is just horrible.

Sligo1

bp wrote: »

Is anyone else in tears over the tragic deaths in California - I don't know anyone directly involved but as a parent I can only begin to understand the pain of those left behind and hug my babies extra tight :-(

Such a terrible terrible tragedy! And Penny, that childminder case is just awful!!! And it doesn't help the fact I'm looking for a childminder for September!!!

Woshy

Does anyone have any tips for getting a toddler to stop using bottles? My just turned two year old will only drink milk from a bottle and I really want to start him using cups. He will drink water from one of those Nuby cups with the soft lip but won't drink milk from one and won't drink water from any other cups. We've tried to buy him all sorts of different cups to try and even bought a new Nuby cup in a different colour for milk but no dice. If you give him milk in anything but a bottle he just won't drink it.

He has a speech delay (but has caught up a lot in the last 2 months) so his understanding/communication isn't as good as other kids his age so telling him he is a big boy now and needs to use a cup etc has no effect. If we try a normal cup with no lid or anything it just gets poured out. I'm not whether I should just let the bottles continue until his understanding is better but his speech therapist has said they need to go by 2 or it can affect their speech and pronunciation so I feel bad. I'm at a loss though!

yellow hen

Hi woshy, I have a 2yr3month old who has very very little speech. We just stopped his night time bottle. After thinking about replacing it with a sippy cup, we just decided to scrap it. He actually doesn't need it or want it most the time. Could you just stop the bottle completely?

On the speech therapy, did you go privately?

Sligo1

My guy is 2.5 and still gets his boppy of milk before bed. I've heard the whole bottle causing speech delay a lot. But if he's drinking water from a sippy cup during the day and is only getting his bottle for a few minutes in the morning or at night surely this wouldn't affect his speech? My guy never stops talking. And his Playschool have said they dont know any 2.5 year old who talks as much (not necessarily a good thing I'm thinking!). But I won't be taking his bottle off him anytime soon as it gives him great comfort before bed. And it's not like he will be going to school with it. I've never actually tried not giving it to him.

He will drink from any sort of cup during the day. Could you perhaps initially try giving him a little bit of very diluted juice or something he like in Different cups during the day (just for a couple days) just so he get used to using different cups? We only ever give our 2 water but I did use juice for a day or 2 to coax him to using his cups in the very early stages.

They are all so different tho. Our girl prefers a cup and was never a fan of the bottle.

Woshy

yellow hen wrote: »

Hi woshy, I have a 2yr3month old who has very very little speech. We just stopped his night time bottle. After thinking about replacing it with a sippy cup, we just decided to scrap it. He actually doesn't need it or want it most the time. Could you just stop the bottle completely?

On the speech therapy, did you go privately?

We did both! We took him for a private speech therapy session and then went with the HSE as well. Because the waiting list was so long we wanted to get even just one private session to make sure we were doing everything we could. The private one said he was 8/9 months behind which was hard to hear but since then he's come on so much (she gave us loads of tips etc). We've had one session with the health centre but it was for adults only, again it was tips to help with their speech. We've been told his assessment will likely be the end of September. I'm hoping by then he'll have caught up enough to be discharged. They said by two they should have 50 words, understand two part instructions and put two words together. We did a list of his words and he has more than fifty and this week has started putting two words together so we're thrilled.

As for the milk, he could probably have no bottles and be ok with that but I like him having some milk (he is not allowed anything else to drink but water I.e. No juice).

Woshy

Sligo1 wrote: »

My guy is 2.5 and still gets his boppy of milk before bed. I've heard the whole bottle causing speech delay a lot. But if he's drinking water from a sippy cup during the day and is only getting his bottle for a few minutes in the morning or at night surely this wouldn't affect his speech? My guy never stops talking. And his Playschool have said they dont know any 2.5 year old who talks as much (not necessarily a good thing I'm thinking!). But I won't be taking his bottle off him anytime soon as it gives him great comfort before bed. And it's not like he will be going to school with it. I've never actually tried not giving it to him.

He will drink from any sort of cup during the day. Could you perhaps initially try giving him a little bit of very diluted juice or something he like in Different cups during the day (just for a couple days) just so he get used to using different cups? We only ever give our 2 water but I did use juice for a day or 2 to coax him to using his cups in the very early stages.

They are all so different tho. Our girl prefers a cup and was never a fan of the bottle.

Funnily enough, he currently has three bottles a day (morning, after nap and before bed). The only bottle he is really desperate for is the after nap one. Maybe I'll just keep trying a cup then as that's the time he really wants milk.

Sligo1

Woshy wrote: »

Funnily enough, he currently has three bottles a day (morning, after nap and before bed). The only bottle he is really desperate for is the after nap one. Maybe I'll just keep trying a cup then as that's the time he really wants milk.

Ah ok I see. Sorry I thought he was maybe just getting 1 or 2. Not that I'm a professional in SALT but I would struggle to understand how taking one bottle may delay speech.

delighted to hear he's getting on week since seeing the SALT. Before you know it he will be chatting away. Hope you are ok.

Woshy

Sligo1 wrote: »

Ah ok I see. Sorry I thought he was maybe just getting 1 or 2. Not that I'm a professional in SALT but I would struggle to understand how taking one bottle may delay speech.

delighted to hear he's getting on week since seeing the SALT. Before you know it he will be chatting away. Hope you are ok.

Thanks! We're grand. Luckily the new arrival is breastfed exclusively so her having bottles isn't confusing him. I just had a chat with my husband about it and we're going to drop the morning and before bed bottle to start with (some days he's actually not interested in them) and then when his language has developed more, try switch the after nap one for a cup.

He still gets a dummy at night too which we've also been told to drop but it makes putting him to bed so easy (he goes up willingly, we just put him in bed, give him a dummy and his teddy and he goes to sleep by himself). With having a newborn keeping us up we can't face removing the dummy, plus the baby gets one so we need to be careful he doesn't blame her for not getting his anymore!

Sligo1

Good idea about trying to stop the other bottles first if he's not bothered about them. You've a lot on your plate now especially with a newborn. A insomniac toddler is definitely not what you want either. X