Sayings.....Rural/Regional even Funny!

red bull

An ounce of breeding is worth a ton of feeding

foxy farmer

red bull wrote: »

An ounce of breeding is worth a ton of feeding

I've a variation on that to cover mechanical and "other" activities.
An ounce of lubrication is better than a ton of force.

Muckit

'........that's what she said last night'

I said

Hes that mean he crys when he flushes the toilet

foxy farmer

Was in a relations house on wednesday 12 feb after worst of storm had passed. No electricity no water and no heating. Went to the jax and next I was reminded of scarcity of water by man of the house. It went "If its yellow let it mellow but if its brown flush it down"

woodcock89

exercise is the antidote wrote: »

Did he give ye the chainsaw

He did but he wouldn't give me the wife " and I wouldn't throw her out of the bed for fartin either".

A lady wit a big bust on a frosty morning.
She's like lnagh valley wit a set of scania wheel nuts on a frosty morning.

hugo29

you could hang a wet duffle coat off them
(ill leave it to yer imaginations)

jmrc

full as a poisoned pup,
more meat on a butchers pencil
that fe#kin tractor, would't pull straws outa buttermilk.

visatorro

not a word of a lie

ill tell ya a lie ya might believe

Nekarsulm

that tractor wouldn't pull smoke off a ditch.

PMU

foxy farmer wrote: »

I've a variation on that to cover mechanical and "other" activities.
An ounce of lubrication is better than a ton of force.

my local mechanic used to say "oil is cheaper than steel"

Lano Lynn

even wise hens lay out

mf240

I will in me hole.

Those biscuits are for the visitors.

If his father wasn't dead this would kill him.

A long ways from (insert recent purchase)he was reared.

mfceiling

After a big dinner - I'm as full as a shuck.

There's more fat on a butcher's apron.

A skinny person - he's that narrow, 2 of us can't see him at once.

Of the best ones I ever heard, was 2 Donegal lads talking...

"Did you see the size of the flute on oul joe in the pub"..."you could sire a mare with it"... "I know, it's like a straining post for a fence".

"Did you drive her on coming home last night"?

"I'd the foot down that far, I kicked the headlight out into the ditch".

Gas men...(stock answer - their mother was a cylinder).

farmersfriend

Father used to say to us when we were up late at night. you will be too tired to fart in the morning.

flat out !!

How did u sleep,?


Slept like a log... woke up in the fireplace this morning.
Or
He slept like a baby... Screaming and crying all night.

Damo810

Not sure if its nationwide or not but would anyone say "I only know them to see" for a person you see regularly enough but don't know their names?

foxy farmer

There's 3 sides to any good story.
Your side my side and the truth.
Great one for the gossipmongers when they think they're right.

whisky_galore

He's so handy he could put a pane of glass in a cat's arse without putty.

There's people dying now that never died before.

hugo29

Damo810 wrote: »

Not sure if its nationwide or not but would anyone say "I only know them to see" for a person you see regularly enough but don't know their names?

or something similar " i probably know them if i seen them" if someone is saying you know that person

jack of all

"Full as a tick" - full after a good feed or fill of beer.

"I gave her a rub of the relic"

yessam

When talking about bad drink

"jaysus that stuff would drive ****e out of a statue"

Muckit

whisky_galore wrote: »

There's people dying now that never died before.

He was very young when he was born

I said

What will he be when he leaves school.













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Western Pomise

Heard these two off a lad from Monaghan to describe the morning after a heavy session and a 'large Lady'.

'Sure I was as sick as a small hospital !'

'Not even a sniper would take her out!'

Gorteen

"He's a horse of a man, he can ****e walking".................

jp6470

My granny would say,about someone she doesn't particularly like...something along the lines of...

"I wouldn't take them to a dog fight,to get them worried".

Never really got it,thought was a bit to elaborate or something.

Nekarsulm

his father Will never be dead, while he is around. (about a child who is the spitting image of his father)

whisky_galore

Western Pomise wrote: »

'Not even a sniper would take her out!'

The tide wouldn't take her out.

whisky_galore

Bad drivers...'He couldn't drive a 6'' nail through a pound of butter'

My dad used refer to something useless as 'it isn't worth a hat of crabs' (crabs as in crabs apples) and 'it wouldn't pull the skin off a black pudding'

'H-aimn an diobhal' was another common one, as a sign of exasperation with something or someone.