Sayings.....Rural/Regional even Funny!

I said

If ya saw a pole ye d get your piss
It's to do with people who want everything a neighbour has

Dupont

It could be worse but f#%k the much
Eat like horse strong like bull
A full sack of spuds won't bend and an empty one will fall over(describing eating to much at work)

Damo810

Things have been cat since the dog died!

Conor556

she would suck the chrome off a ball hitch

mf240

She would suck the spinal fluid out of the small of your back.

Or


she would suck start a leaf blower.

Lano Lynn

she'd be better down than an acre of hay in bad weather

it would only take a snow halter to lead him

lad if ya keep using yer dick as a compass its going to lead ya to trouble

foxy farmer

2 things a man must keep under control at all times- his tongue and his tool.

foxy farmer

2 things a man must keep under control at all times- his tongue and his tool.

Bodacious

A local character was going salting A few fish asked for 5 x 25kg bags of salt and nosey shop keeper woman was intrigued .. Kept asking him as he carried the bags out.. "But what do you want all the salt for paddy?!"

On last run out , he stuck his head back in and said "I do eat the odd egg!"

f140

he would want one decent funt up his hole

Bodacious

Bodacious wrote: »

A local character was going salting A few fish asked for 5 x 25kg bags of salt and nosey shop keeper woman was intrigued .. Kept asking him as he carried the bags out.. "But what do you want all the salt for paddy?!"

On last run out , he stuck his head back in and said "I do eat the odd egg!"

Same fella spent time in UK working, he was staying with a landlady and she was wild tight with the food, he was hungover one day and she left out 2 slices of bread but he only ate 1, day after that and rest of week 1 slice only.

First week in the house, she left out one of those tiny pots of honey (singular helping/catering little thumb sized glass pot)... He looked down at the pot then looked up at her again ;
"And I see you keep a Bee!"

freedominacup

The things ya see out when ya haven't got the gun.

whisky_galore

Damo810 wrote: »

Things have been cat since the dog died!

We had an oul' dog behind before.

Zoo4m8

"Bad cess to it", when things go arseways, was used all the time by my long dead Clare grandmother.. Still used by me!
Never heard it used anywhere else, I believe the 'Cess' was a hated tax from pre independence days.

eeeee

One of my father's favorites is: he/it/she/object of irritation is 'The two ends of a cúnt'.

onyerbikepat

"Come outta da fog, will ya! " - telling someone to sop themsevles on.

freedominacup

gadetra wrote: »

One of my father's favorites is: he/it/she/object of irritation is 'The two ends of a cúnt'.

Or the greatest fcukeress of all time.

mf240

When something goes to really wrong it's "A camels abortion"

farmersfriend

Zoo4m8 wrote: »

"Bad cess to it", when things go arseways, was used all the time by my long dead Clare grandmother.. Still used by me!
Never heard it used anywhere else, I believe the 'Cess' was a hated tax from pre independence days.

Tipperary grandmother used it too

Nekarsulm

farmersfriend wrote: »

Tipperary grandmother used it too

Grandfather was a Longford man, and used it as well. Also "Bad scrant to you, anyway"

Scrant was a slang term for food, back in the 1800's, apparently.

Zoo4m8

Nekarsulm wrote: »

Grandfather was a Longford man, and used it as well. Also "Bad scrant to you, anyway"

Scrant was a slang term for food, back in the 1800's, apparently.

Interesting, I'd forgotten that one, my mother used it a lot but haven't heard her use it for years now, she's 92, must ask her about it, I remember hearing it as ' bad scram to you' but your take on it makes a lot more sense...

Sam Kade

Lano Lynn wrote: »

she'd be better down than an acre of hay in bad weather

it would only take a snow halter to lead him

lad if ya keep using yer dick as a compass its going to lead ya to trouble

I'd rather have her down than a field of hay and she would be saved a lot quicker.

Zoo4m8

An oul lad who worked with us years ago when he was off for a pi** " I'm just going to wring the gander's neck"...

flat out !!

Lad in pub explaining how he got his black eye. His friend says to him,
"so u were talking when u should have been listening"

Reggie.

When having a pi$$
Just straining the spuds

Greengrass1

Oul lad at a funeral.
He had a great way with cattle.
They used to love him.

The missus was a cow too,
But she hated him

foxy farmer

Stuck my head out passenger window of a van reversing into a driveway. I was obscuring drivers view and he shouts "keep your head in or they'll think tis a horsebox we have"

feartuath

Zoo4m8 wrote: »

"Bad cess to it", when things go arseways, was used all the time by my long dead Clare grandmother.. Still used by me!
Never heard it used anywhere else, I believe the 'Cess' was a hated tax from pre independence days.

Definitely a Clare saying here it many times down here.

whisky_galore

So hungry I'd ate a scabby babby out through the bars of a cot.

Nekarsulm

Zoo4m8 wrote: »

Interesting, I'd forgotten that one, my mother used it a lot but haven't heard her use it for years now, she's 92, must ask her about it, I remember hearing it as ' bad scram to you' but your take on it makes a lot more sense...

There is a thread like this over on "oul wans and oul fellas" forum. That's where I learned that "scrant" was slang for food.