Sayings.....Rural/Regional even Funny!

Kovu

Just when you mentioned a large girl Sam- The lad my father works with is a quiet sort of fella. He recently wanted to reinforce a few chairs in the local community centre as the 88's were damaging them.

Took me while to figure out that he meant two fat ladies aka 88!!

Sam Kade

Years ago there was a man working at the local creamery, he was always joking. A farmers wife brought two churns of milk one morning and she was hefty around the chest area as they were about to empty the churns of milk the joker said to her "begor May they are two fine churns of milk you have there"

Muckit

Kovu wrote: »

Took me while to figure out that he meant two fat ladies aka 88!!

Don't think they are allowed say that now at bingo! Everything has to be so politically correct nowadays.

Sam Kade

Muckit wrote: »

Don't think they are allowed say that now at bingo! Everything has to be so politically correct nowadays.

Sure didn't the Michelin man have to go on a diet because of that.

Kovu

Muckit wrote: »

Don't think they are allowed say that now at bingo! Everything has to be so politically correct nowadays.

I think one of the callers still does it out of habit!

foxy farmer

"That's her" said the Connachtmsn to the bull.
"Now" says she and she threw her wooden leg high up into the air.

TheFarrier

Once heard an aul lad to exclaim "jaysus she'd pike bales for ya" in reference to a somewhat portly young lady

Nekarsulm

My neighbour married later in life, and his wife was a big strong woman. An older man in the parish saw her helping him cover the silage pit with tyres the first year they were married.
"jaysus lad, she was throwing them up like sods of turf"!

Deepsouthwest

Sam Kade wrote: »

A large girl, I'd say she'd walk away from a fair heap of dung.

Took me a while to get that one!

Mad4simmental

Boss man always says this one.
If I say I nearly have a job done, or your man nearly hit that car ect.

"Nearly never bulled a cow"


























Unless the bulls name was Nearly.

orm0nd

Mad4simmental wrote: »

Boss man always says this one.
If I say I nearly have a job done, or your man nearly hit that car ect.

"Nearly never bulled a cow"


























Unless the bulls name was Nearly.

or put bonhams in a sow

when my young lad opened a bank a/c I used to transfer his "wages " on line

one week he had a few tasks "nearly done" he queried why his wages didn't come through

I told him they nearly did.

Sam Kade

Mad4simmental wrote: »

Boss man always says this one.
If I say I nearly have a job done, or your man nearly hit that car ect.

"Nearly never bulled a cow"


























Unless the bulls name was Nearly.

That reminds me.


My sister in laws daughter was out playing one day when she was around 4 years old, the neighbours dog kept following her and her mother said to her "don't mind him he's harmless". About half an hour later the daughter came into the house crying and shouting "mammy mammy harmless is after me"

Farmer Pudsey

orm0nd wrote: »

or put bonhams in a sow

when my young lad opened a bank a/c I used to transfer his "wages " on line

one week he had a few tasks "nearly done" he queried why his wages didn't come through

I told him they nearly did.

I had it slightly different

Nearly never bulled a cow
Took a bonham from a sow
Or rode a mare
The reason it was took a bonham had to do when a sow was farrowing it was important to remove bonhams in case the sow rolled on the)


The other one I remember is if a cross or sour young one passed the expression was ''she could use a rub of the relic''

Kovu

Farmer Pudsey wrote: »

I had it slightly different

The other one I remember is if a cross or sour young one passed the expression was ''she could use a rub of the relic''

Oh my!

sandydan

Nekarsulm wrote: »

My neighbour married later in life, and his wife was a big strong woman. An older man in the parish saw her helping him cover the silage pit with tyres the first year they were married.
"jaysus lad, she was throwing them up like sods of turf"!

heard a few womens jokes about men and to say some are blue is an understatement. like the one Brendan O Carroll had about his locals when they comment on size of small baby where father is small. "sure whatd it yud expect,sure you couldn't expect to catch a shark with a worm.
another one . a young man who had an arranged marriage or "match" made for him caused a few raised eyebrows when he let the match-maker buy the first round of drinks and some "jealous or ballhopper" woman remarked in low voice but easily heard at same time,"his last girlfriend said "he has no principle",fiance heard remark and thought it meant his principal **,so worried was she about the prospect of marrying someone without a "principle" she confided in friend who could get her husband to check discreetly.
so in land with bushes and no indoor WCs , a spate of telling dirty jokes ensued and usual discreet toilet bushes were kept occupied by women while plenty liquid was provided, and individual was obliged to go a less discreet spot and later a woman of good judgement in that field came in to reassure his fiance not to worry as he had a fine principle indeed.

sandydan

Sam Kade wrote: »

Years ago there was a man working at the local creamery, he was always joking. A farmers wife brought two churns of milk one morning and she was hefty around the chest area as they were about to empty the churns of milk the joker said to her "begor May they are two fine churns of milk you have there"

this story reminds me of story of young chap who in fine weather cut the legs off worn pair of wide legged jeans and went to local creamery,day 1 passed off without incident ,day 2 and local character came armed with her camera and when fella stood up in tractor trailer ( they used to pump milk out of churns and road tanks) pipe in hand to pump in milk to scale and your wan hopped out and tried her best to stick camera up his trouser leg .he was as red as a beetroot and is reminded often since.

marzic

'the sweat was runnin down the boreen of my hole' - sweating profusely due to hard work

'he wouldnt pick a horse out of a flock of sheep' - someone with little real knowledge of horse racing

whisky_galore

Heard of someone asking a guy about ordering round of drinks in a bar, wanted to know did his partner want a drink as well...

'You don't need the finger at the bottom of the bucket to get X to drink!'

Only those with a farming background got it.

stop animal cruelty

^^ someone who would drink anything??

whisky_galore

stop animal cruelty wrote: »

^^ someone who would drink anything??

Someone that wouldn't say no to a drink.

stop animal cruelty

l was close

sandydan

whisky_galore wrote: »

Heard of someone asking a guy about ordering round of drinks in a bar, wanted to know did his partner want a drink as well...

'You don't need the finger at the bottom of the bucket to get X to drink!'

Only those with a farming background got it.

the expression i heard was in connection with a pub selling sour porter of else unable to fill a pint properly.
when asked to go into a particular pub a chap said he wouldn't drink there in a fit, he explained , Mr X said it was bad and if he said it was bad it must be, cos hed drink it outa a pisspot

foxy farmer

Or drink it out of a sore leg.?

Farmer Pudsey

The expression I heard for that is he drink it through a dirty sock.

MickeyShtyles

For a woman thats been around a bit....
She had an arse on her like buttons of a lift!!

foxy farmer

The village bicycle. Everyone rode it!

rushvalley

foxy farmer wrote: »

The village bicycle. Everyone rode it!

For a woman lacking good looks "I wouldn't ride her if she had pedals" :pac:

Reggie.

rushvalley wrote: »

For a woman lacking good looks "I wouldn't ride her if she had pedals" :pac:

A sniper wouldn't take her out

Miname

Des kelly wouldn't lay her.

Bullocks

MickeyShtyles wrote: »

For a woman thats been around a bit....
She had an arse on her like buttons of a lift!!

Or " more pricks in her than a dartboard "