Sayings.....Rural/Regional even Funny!

PMU

bad driver- he woudnt drive a stake in a bog
hangover- sick as a small hospital
sick as 47 dogs
bad pint- tasted better on the way up than on the way down
sex- right she said....so i wrote pages!
loose woman -she`s had more p...ks than a hedgehog
if she had another pair of legs, she`d open them in athlone
loose man- he`d get up on a cracked plate
he`d get up on the crack of dawn
ugly wan- yer not looking at the mantlepiece when yer pokin the fire
burstin - goin to strain the spuds
goin to water the horse
" i have a black elder"
I better go , or i wont hold it with a jubilee clip

Chicken Run

of someone with a poor aim

"He couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo"

kkdela6

Made popular by the Hardy Bucks but still an old classic

'If there was work in the bed. he'd sleep on the floor!'

5live

Sheep-a great way to meet the neighbours:D

pakalasa

Descriping a tractor that's lacking in power - It wouldn't pull you outta bed, in the morning.

yessam

Notice I once saw in a toilet

"It's our aim to keep these toilets clean - Your aim will help"

whelan1

she didnt get those knees from saying prayers

wildfowler94

A rides a ride a jokes a joke but no ride is no joke.

She"d suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

she"d lick the chrome off a hitch.

keep drinking it will all work out.

ive had in grown toe nails with more breeding in then then you.

Bizzum

More mate (meat!) on a chickens face.

Hard as a goats knee.

Galloways4life

im that hungry id ate the scab o a tinkers back...

your as mean as cat piss

he's the meanest man that ever put a foot into a shoe

no smoke....no poke

no ditches, no switches, no fat b*tch*s

im as loose as a bag a cats

your as ur father

its as black as the day you were conceived and that was a black day...

Gally05

to describe some one cross eyed
you have 2 lovely blue eyes , one blew east the other blew west

Bizzum

Gally05 wrote: »

to describe some one cross eyed
you have 2 lovely blue eyes , one blew east the other blew west

Another is " One eye looking at ya and the other looking for ya"

Sam Kade

pakalasa wrote: »

Descriping a tractor that's lacking in power - It wouldn't pull you outta bed, in the morning.

It wouldn't pull the socks off a deadman.
Bad driver, he couldn't drive a bull to a cow not even if the cow were bulling.
He wouldn't work his way out of a wet paper bag.
He wouldn't give you the steam off his p1ss.
He wouldn't give his sh1t to the crows.

A neighbours wife went to the uk, they said she was suffering from depression and was getting treatment. it came out later that she ran away with a Blackman. Another neighbour said she went for treatment alright, wrong end

MFdaveIreland

Here's a few for ya lads,

A book smart yet impractical person: he could tell you the square root of an Orange but couldnt peel one

Couldn't join his hands

If work was bed, he would lie on the floor; lazy person

Hands like feet,


As much use as Tits on a boar

Conor556

That fella wouldnt work with batterys.

I like my women the same as my tractors,,,, dirty with a BIG set of front weights!

whelan1

Conor556 wrote: »

That fella wouldnt work with batterys.

I like my women the same as my tractors,,,, dirty with a BIG set of front weights!

:eek: i laughed out loud at the second one

freedominacup

Two for lazy ba*t**ds

He wouldn't keep s**t away from a sick turkey

He's so mad about work he'd stand around all day looking at it.

Damo810

Conor556 wrote: »

That fella wouldnt work with batterys.

I like my women the same as my tractors,,,, dirty with a BIG set of front weights!

Shame most are coming with a spare tire now :pac:

Ted_YNWA

Horse it in to ya
If there's grass on the pitch ..
I wouldn't ride her with yours
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
Common sense is not very common.

oak before ash in for a splash.Ash before oak in for a soak

Let there be no hassle in the castle.

severeoversteer

the brother has one ,

a fine lass walking by and a grand ar*e on her

'' theres more meat on good friday'' he'd say :P

MFdaveIreland

Well endowed women,

She would have enough milk for two bull calves and still fill a jug for the house

Lowered cars,
Its lower than your grannies nips , and goes like your sister!!

Lots if money under the bed,
I wouldn't say hes tight but but when he turns round in the mattress he burns his arse on the light bulb

i wouldn't ride her with yours


He's that fond of the work he wud lie down beside it

sea12

He so crooked he couldn't lie straight in bed!

Sam Kade

Going to the creamery years ago there was a kaffler working there he used to give a hand lifting in the churns. The local farmers wife brought the milk one morning May was her name and she was fairly hefty in front, begor May says your man those are two fine churns of milk you have there

Manoffeeling

Bizzum wrote: »

Another is " One eye looking at ya and the other looking for ya"

Will you ever go where you are looking!


That one has an arse that would backup silage.
I'd eat a mile of her **** if her arse was at the end of it.

MFdaveIreland

I'm not saying hes cross-eyed, but when he cries, his tears run half way down his back .

He's that tight, He still has his communion money

There should be plenty of work In him, because there hasn't been a lot came out of him !

20silkcut

I'm as shook as the popes hand

Bizzum

-If brains was dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose.

- If he sang for sh1te he wouldn't get a smell.

Finally, the description of a mini skirt- Like a barbed wire fence, enough to protect the property but not spoil the view.

munkus

I wouldn't ride her into battle

freedominacup

As sick as a small hospital.

moy83

About bucked teeth
She could eat tomatoes through a tennis racket with them