Sayings.....Rural/Regional even Funny!

moy83

dharn wrote: »

What are you on about ?

Period ? Kinda melts out of a woman like .

dharn

Lets change the subject rapid :eek:

Ladeeen

Short and sweet like a mouse's tit

westwicklow

Often said about a larger lady:
1. she's not built for the soft ground
2. she's as full as a bingo bus
3. keep her on the middle of the road/lane

Often said about an ugly lady:
1. A sniper wouldn't take her out
2. I wouldn't take her out in a fog

Often said about a lazy person:
I have seen glaciers move quicker

Often said about a person with no sence of direction:
1. He/She wouldn't find his/her way out of a phonebox
2. Wouldn't hit water if he/she fell out of a boat

Manoffeeling

You're too heavy for light work and your too light for heavy work.

Our hurling coach told us "Ye're not hurlers with a drink problem, Ye're drinkers with a hurling problem!"

red bull

When the last car leaves the Galway races it brings the winter with it

delaval

That lad is

'as useful as a Jennet's flute'

Sam Kade

A builder was summed up as being good at rough jobs and rough at good jobs.

Marooned75

Only heard this last week He wouldn't hurl spuds to ducks.

razor8

Teacher once pulled up a friend of mine at school who was always late.......

teacher asked – what has ya late this time?

he says” ah teacher the cow was bulling and i had a job getting her into the yard

teacher says –could your father not have done it?

He’s say- no teacher it has to be the bull



Teacher and all nearly died of the laughing! You needed to be there!

redzerologhlen

Shes a ball of sex!!

Sam Kade

razor8 wrote: »

Teacher once pulled up a friend of mine at school who wasalways late.......

teacher asked – what has ya late this time?

he says” ah teacher the cow was bulling and i had a jobgetting her into the yard

teacher says –could your father not have done it?

He’s say- no teacher it has to be the bull



Teacher and all nearly died of the laughing! You needed to bethere!

That story is as old as time itself and is as mythical as the Springsteen pays for dinner story First time I heard it was on mike murphy in the 70's.

onefourreal

As tough as a fox's pencil, or describing someone overdressed on a summer's day "they'll make maggots"

yessam

The Traveller woman was outside the mart and asked Paddy for a pound for the baby please.

Paddy said I wouldn't take him if you were giving him away for nothing.

milkprofit

As useful as tits on a Bore

sako 85

She's a nose that'd poke ferrets out of ditch (Girl with a big nose)

razor8

sako 85 wrote: »

She's a nose that'd poke ferrets out of ditch (Girl with a big nose)

Heard one today

"Will ya take it now or will ya wait until your getting it"

vertico

If a buck is looking for a trouble in a pub tell him
"i've often bet bigger men just to get into a row"

clappyhappy

In a bar one night, closing time and bar man telling us to drink up. My friend says “ah will you give us one for the road", my cousin who had more than enough consumed woke up and shouted out “and we will have one for those who were never rode", thought I would die laughing. Got another drink out of it!!!

TheFarrier

The auld lad often said about a fella eyeing up a job that was beyond his capabilities, "like a goat looking at lightning".

Similar one iv heard is like a goat looking into a field of ragwort.

moy83

sako 85 wrote: »

She's a nose that'd poke ferrets out of ditch (Girl with a big nose)

Or a girl with bucked teeth - she would ate tomatoes through a tennis racket

mf240

She has a face like a camels abortion,

moy83

mf240 wrote: »

She has a face like a camels abortion,

What harm , sure you arent looking at the mantlepiece when you're poking the fire

Greengrass1

Girl I knew was getting jeered about her braces and she said to a lad one day " at least I can fix my teeth, you can't fix your face though"
Very funny

exercise is the antidote

One farmer I know Is of the older generation, he is very funny to be around.
He was asking someone who he was and were he came from..wen he answered him he said. By jasus YOU Are WE'LL BRED fella.

And the only fellas that are any good at rugby are the half-bred fellas.

Reggie.

moy83 wrote: »

Or a girl with bucked teeth - she would ate tomatoes through a tennis racket

She has teeth like broken Delph

exercise is the antidote

Reggie. wrote: »

She has teeth like broken Delph

Ate an apple throw a letterbox

jack of all

A good one I heard about waste- "Wanton waste leads to woeful want" and so, so true!

A lad slags off another lad on account of the big dinner he's eating, yer man replies: "A empty sack never stood" to which is replied "and a full one never bent either" (ie you won't be fit work after it!).

A lad found of drink: "you might as well be throwin pints into a barrel of sawdust"

A lad fond of food "you might as well be throwing buns at an elephant"

A useless lad : "hasn't hands to wipe his arse"

sako 85

A fella with a big belly was getting jeered, his reply;

you need a big hammer to drive a big nail

About an ugly girl, I wouldn't get up on her to get over a wall.

Reggie.

sako 85 wrote: »

A fella with a big belly was getting jeered, his reply;

you need a big hammer to drive a big nail

About an ugly girl, I wouldn't get up on her to get over a wall.

Or a sniper wouldn't take her out