Sayings.....Rural/Regional even Funny!

foxy farmer

Up she flew and the cock flattened her.
Now says she and she threw her wooden leg high up into the air.
As dry as Baymishes bull.
How are you for boots and socks?
And what's that? A pork chop is it?
Well you're as good and your hair is as curly.
Fill the back of the shovel the front will look after itself.
He'd do his own mother going out through a skylight.
He's a knife and fork man.
You must die to be praised.
He had hands like shovels.
She had an ass on her like a Belgian Blue.
I know what you mean says she but the grass is wet.
That's not your finger says she there's no nail on it.
He rattled it into Mary while her mother was out for turf.

freedominacup

Lazy ba$tard "wouldn't keep $hit away from a sick turkey".

monflat

Its all a balls when the bull wont milk ....

Conor556

Reggie. wrote: »

Or a sniper wouldn't take her out

Or "I wouldnt even touch her with yours"

feartuath

Was in the local recently,only 4 of us there when 2 smart boys arrived at the door about 12:30 full of drink.
Owner asked them where they were all night
"We were here and there and everywhere we were there was a crowd"

A cow called Daisy

For the man that was found with different woman than one he married to
"he was caught grazing in the wrong field"

For the 'fun' loving people
"he would get up on a clipped hedge"
"she would lie down in a dirty gap"

Daniel7740

on a rainy day

"shur tis only a day for ducks!"

Get Real

To quote the hardy bucks-

talking about a lazy guy-

ah, sure Jesus, if there were work in the bed, he'd shleep on the floor"

markesmith

I wouldn't ride her into battle

20silkcut

He has the brains of a choc ice.

I am as shook as the popes hand.

He would talk a pig into a ham sandwich.

onyerbikepat

An old guy near us used to always say, when asked "How was he?".
"Shur I'm like a jug on a dresser, the good side out and the cracked side hidden".

jt65

happened some years ago

argument in local pub one evening between 2 builders,

one aged (who had worked in the gulf) and one just a beginner

"I was building Baghdad, when you were still in your father's bag"

TheFarrier

"And what has that got to do with the price of turnips??"

Usually in response to some random/irrelevant point made out of nowhere or during the course of a discussion.



"How's your mother for spuds??"

Often heard during those lazy chats with neighbours of the green fingered variety.

I said

He was caught Milking outside the bucket

munkus

Conor556 wrote: »

Or "I wouldnt even touch her with yours"

Or "If I had a bag of broken Mickeys I wouldn't give her one"

drdidlittle

When you have harrowed as much as I've ploughed.

Mac Taylor

For the lad known for wander lust "Given half a chance that lad would get up on a gust of wind"

Daniel7740

stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

Reggie.

Mac Taylor wrote: »

For the lad known for wander lust "Given half a chance that lad would get up on a gust of wind"

Get up on the crack of dawn or the crack of a whip

I said

Get up on a cat going out a skylight

I said

Ya wouldnt hurl spuds to ducks

Mad4simmental

He'd get up on a hairy hand!!

hugo29

she was that fat, i had to roll her in flour to find the wet spot


her teeth were that bad she could eat an apple through a leather jacket

Reggie.

She/he was that fat her/his portrait was taken by satellite.

mf240

His mother must of been fond of rearing children when she bothered rearing him.

Nekarsulm

From the County Down "away and scrape dust on yerself"

hugo29

She had a face like a bull dog licking piss of a nettle

He had a head like cromwells horse

foxy farmer

Twill either kill him or cure him.

freedominacup

He had a face only a lorry tyre could love.

He was so confused "he didn't know whether to sh1t or go blind".





























The compromise: close one eye and fart:D

Charlie George

I wouldn't ride her into battle.