You've lost your job.You now live at home..again

chucken1

How do you feel?

Do you ever stop to think how your parents feel?

Are you paying your way? Or do you think its ok to swan back??

IM0

if you are getting the dole you should be paying your parents a good chuck of it if you are living at home with them

im invisible

Been at home on the dole for a year, my father said to me last night that one of would end up having to move out, and if i didnt, he would...

Local-womanizer

im invisible wrote: »

Been at home on the dole for a year, my father said to me last night that one of would end up having to move out, and if i didnt, he would...

Sweet, more room for you!

DEFTLEFTHAND

My Parents keep asking me to move home to save on rent as I still live near by. I think the aul pair are getting lonely with no chicks left in the nest.:(

Aoifey!

I know a couple of people who didn't qualify for rent allowance so have had to move home. Although they are still young (19 - 21), they found it hard to move back home again after living on their own.

Doc Ruby

chucken1 wrote: »

Or do you think its ok to swan back??

Mmm, swans...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msQPHxTUgzI

I know people on AH often get annoyed at journalists or reporters making threads on here to try and get people's opinions on things (so other people will essentially write their pieces for them), and despite the OP having a fair posting history, I can't help but feel that this is exactly that kind of thread.


What's your opinion on it, OP? How do you feel about this subject that you've asked about in a very demeaning manner to get people up in arms?

EUSSR

Deleted User wrote: »

I know people on AH often get annoyed at journalists or reporters making threads on here to try and get people's opinions on things (so other people will essentially write their pieces for them), and despite the OP having a fair posting history, I can't help but feel that this is exactly that kind of thread.


What's your opinion on it, OP? How do you feel about this subject that you've asked about in a very demeaning manner to get people up in arms?

I can see the front page of the Herald now. If I had the chance, I would make these rags illegal. Not only that, but force people to read only the Irish Times, The Times or the Examiner. That would learn em. Would eradicate slop journalism over the long term.

ICANN

I'll never move in with my parents again. It's great going home when I come home to visit but a week is the maximum I could handle without a murder occurring.

Jesus Nut

Deleted User wrote: »

I know people on AH often get annoyed at journalists or reporters making threads on here to try and get people's opinions on things (so other people will essentially write their pieces for them)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Damn it. My covers been blown.... :pac:

CrazyRabbit

I'd rather be homeless. I can't live with my mum. Lovely woman, but can't live with her.

stovelid

Love all the can't live with my parents posts.

Like they're turning cartwheels at the thought of you moving back in.

EUSSR

At least the people who complain about moving back in have parents. Your Parents probably deserve more credit then you may think. I guess some people just hate the sight of their parents. Have to respect that I guess.

Kiera

I own my own home so would just get a couple of people to move in so I didn't have to move home.

Jay D

chucken1 wrote: »

How do you feel?

Do you ever stop to think how your parents feel?

Are you paying your way? Or do you think its ok to swan back??

It's happened more than once mainly leaving though and never moved home. It's completely lazy and childish imo.

Azureus

I couldn't move home after living on my own, and as much as my mam loves me and I love her, she wouldnt have me back either. It's come to having no place to live when i was doing my finals and had to stop working for a month or two, and I still found alternative arrangements. If I was really stuck Im sure I could probably crash there, but it really would be a last resort for the two of us. Soon as I turned 18 I became responsible for my own living arrangements and running back to my parents house just isnt an option-not just for me, but for my mam also. She has her own life, I cant expect her to put up with a 23 year old daughter hanging about her place-she put up with me for long enough!!

up for anything

chucken1 wrote: »

How do you feel?

Do you ever stop to think how your parents feel?

Are you paying your way? Or do you think its ok to swan back??

I find it strange how many people here dread the prospect of moving home or that their parent's dread the prospect of them moving back in. :(

There would be no thought in our family of using a phrase like 'swanning' back in. We've always been told that where our parents are is our home and that we are welcome back there at any time for any length of time (even with our offspring) regardless of circumstances and that ways would be found to make what little money there is expand for the basics. We all used it a lot in our teens and twenties when things were crap in this country before we all ended up abroad working.

Even though the youngest of us is now 45, we still know that that option is there. It gives me a great feeling of security to know that if things went belly up completely that I could land on their doorstep with my brood and that they wouldn't be rolling their eyes and asking how long were we planning to be there. Of course there would be problems and personality clashes but there would be love and caring too.

I can't understand the sentiments expressed here - either that people would hate to move back in or that your parents would be inconvenienced or hate you moving back in.

up for anything

Azureus wrote: »

She has her own life, I cant expect her to put up with a 23 year old daughter hanging about her place-she put up with me for long enough!!

That's one of things that people say that puzzles me. She put up with me for long enough!! I don't think that you put up with your children. That is a sad way for a child* to describe her relationship with her mother.

ETA: or even a grown woman.

Jay D

up for anything wrote: »

That's one of things that people say that puzzles me. She put up with me for long enough!! I don't think that you put up with your children. That is a sad way for a child* to describe her relationship with her mother.

ETA: or even a grown woman.

You have to accept that not everyone's home is/was as Rosy as yours. Your situation does not apply to everyone.

Azureus

up for anything wrote: »

That's one of things that people say that puzzles me. She put up with me for long enough!! I don't think that you put up with your children. That is a sad way for a child* to describe her relationship with her mother.

ETA: or even a grown woman.

It's my mothers attitude towards us and not one she hides-when we turned 18 we became responsible for ourselves. Its not sad, I have a great relationship with my mother but it's not in any way a dependant one, Im just thankful for the 18 years of financial support and emtional stability that she gave me. My mother raised me to not rely on anybody but myself and that's what I do.
And Im sure I was a handful at times, so yes she did 'put up with me' and if she didnt I wouldnt be here today!

Lando Griffin

I did once for a few months and it caused friction. I would come home from work and here he would expect me to move cattle or dose sheep, some nights during silage cutting i could be working from eight in the morning to 12 at night. If i went out clubing all weekend if would play the "you will probably sell the farm when im gone card" and my buzz would be wrecked i would end up making silage or spreading the bag stuff off my tits, which always brought about conflict because i would end up doing it wrond etc. Then the days would get on and sitting inside looking out at the rain he would ask me a question bout some gossip or news item and i would be telling him only to hear snoring a few minutes later or the usual what are you talking about?

up for anything

Jay D wrote: »

You have to accept that not everyone's home is/was as Rosy as yours. Your situation does not apply to everyone.

Where did I say that I didn't accept it. I am just puzzled by the fact that there seem to be more people who would not or could not move back home then there are people who can and would. My home was not and is not always rosy or Waltony but it is home.

up for anything

Azureus wrote: »

It's my mothers attitude towards us and not one she hides-when we turned 18 we became responsible for ourselves. Its not sad, I have a great relationship with my mother but it's not in any way a dependant one, Im just thankful for the 18 years of financial support and emtional stability that she gave me. My mother raised me to not rely on anybody but myself and that's what I do.
And Im sure I was a handful at times, so yes she did 'put up with me' and if she didnt I wouldnt be here today!

For me a child is not just for 18 years but for life.

Azureus

up for anything wrote: »

For me a child is not just for 18 years but for life.

That's nice and all, but I'd rather be my own person than a child for the rest of my life. I consider myself an equal with my mother now, rather than a dependant and if I had children Id like it to be the same way.
Nothing worse than an adult that reverts back to a five year old when around their parents imo, and Ive seen it happen a lot.

KERSPLAT!

I moved back home and was welcomed with open arms. I wish I didn't have to, I loved having my own place, but I was always told there's a place for me if I ever need it

OneArt

The only thing that would make me dread moving home is that its Drogheda.

I'd love to live with the folks again... But I never want to have to live in that manky town again!

Dudess

I did so at 29 for a few months after doing a postgrad away from home and it was grand - I paid towards bills and mortgage, did chores and headed off most weekday evenings to the guy I was seeing, friends' places etc.
It was great to have it to go to, and my folks were very welcoming once I didn't take the piss. I assume my attitude would be the same if I have kids. I really don't see the big deal. If a person wants to live at home til any age, as long as they help maintain the household financially and domestically, aren't constantly under their folks' feet, and have independence otherwise (e.g. a car) what's the problem? People who go on about it being scrounging, a failure etc seem very self righteous.
Going away to college and being funded by the folks doesn't constitute "moving out" btw.

up for anything

Azureus wrote: »

That's nice and all, but I'd rather be my own person than a child for the rest of my life. I consider myself an equal with my mother now, rather than a dependant and if I had children Id like it to be the same way.
Nothing worse than an adult that reverts back to a five year old when around their parents imo, and Ive seen it happen a lot.

Ah come on now, an adult asking for a bed time story and demanding the crusts be cut off the toast. You could be right. After all there were Irish mothers who blew on their men folk's porridge to cool it down.

It is possible to be your own person and independent but know that you still have the safety net of home to bounce into.

Azureus

up for anything wrote: »

It is possible to be your own person and independent but know that you still have the safety net of home to bounce into.

Possibly because I dont come from an upbringing where this would be an option, I dont understand the mentality of seeing my parents house as 'home'. It's not home to me-you make your own home when you become an adult.

But yes, I can definately see the appeal of a safety net, and its a lovely option if available that I dont think anybody should be ashamed of taking advantage of (wrong wording? availing of) if needed, once they contribute their fair share of the running of the household.

Robdude

I would not move in with my parents.

That's just my own feeling on it; not a judgement on people who do. I can sink or swim on my own. Even if my parents would welcome me back to their home, I wouldn't feel right about it.

Pherekydes

Azureus wrote: »

Possibly because I dont come from an upbringing where this would be an option, I dont understand the mentality of seeing my parents house as 'home'. It's not home to me-you make your own home when you become an adult.

As a parent, this is the attitude I'd hope my kids would have when they get older.

I want them to be independent above all else. I'm not going to be around forever.

Dudess

Being independent/living at the folks' place - not always mutually exclusive.

Gary ITR

I moved home a few years ago, I had just split with my long term gf and we had been living together so I was stuck. I get on really well with my folks and they live very close to Dublin City Centre but I only lasted 4 days and had to go again.

I went out one of the nights to play snooker quite late, they knew where I was going and who I was was with yet my mother was sitting up waiting for me at 2am. I was 24 at the time!

Liam Byrne

im invisible wrote: »

Been at home on the dole for a year, my father said to me last night that one of would end up having to move out, and if i didnt, he would...

Not living up to your name enough ?

KERSPLAT!

IPAM wrote: »

I moved back home and was welcomed with open arms. I wish I didn't have to, I loved having my own place, but I was always told there's a place for me if I ever need it

Just to add, I do give money to my mother for upkeep and I help out around the house

Dudess

Gary ITR wrote: »

I moved home a few years ago, I had just split with my long term gf and we had been living together so I was stuck. I get on really well with my folks and they live very close to Dublin City Centre but I only lasted 4 days and had to go again.

I went out one of the nights to play snooker quite late, they knew where I was going and who I was was with yet my mother was sitting up waiting for me at 2am. I was 24 at the time!

They can see you as a kid no matter what age you are. My grandmother says stuff like "Will you close the window there like a good boy" to my 66-year-old dad.
Hated being seen as a child by them when I was a teen/in my early 20s but I think it's kinda cute now.

Johnny Foreigner

My parents were both killed 6 years ago by a drunk driver.
I don't have the option of moving back home to live with them.
Some of you need to remember that you are very lucky to have somewhere to turn to. Its easy to say you can't stand living with your parents, but you would soon miss them if they were gone.

SeaFields

very well said johnny and sorry to hear of what must have been a horrific time for you.

Jay D

up for anything wrote: »

Where did I say that I didn't accept it. I am just puzzled by the fact that there seem to be more people who would not or could not move back home then there are people who can and would. My home was not and is not always rosy or Waltony but it is home.

Ok cool I was just saying. Obviously people have very different view on it.

Micky Dolenz

I left home and never went back. Getting to the stage where it's more likely a parent will move into my house.

I pray that day never comes

TPD

Lived with parents till finishing college at 21 and getting a job. Renting a place now but would have no qualms about moving back in with the parents if everything went tits up. They've said the same themselves.

Shryke

I'm back home at the minute. I would have said in the past that I wouldn't like to move home again but when it comes to the crunch it's great to know there is always a bed for me. It's a big comfort really.
I understand some people won't have ideal home situations but I think a lot of people do and they're just a bit snooty at the idea. Admitting weakness or some nonsense. I hope to move out in a few months but until then I'm here and I might as well do my best to get on with my family. God knows they've put up with a lot from me over the years. What a pain in the arse I was!

AIR-AUSSIE

EUSSR wrote: »

I can see the front page of the Herald now. If I had the chance, I would make these rags illegal. Not only that, but force people to read only the Irish Times, The Times or the Examiner. That would learn em. Would eradicate slop journalism over the long term.

Those papers are bullsh!t too :rolleyes:

chucken1

Deleted User wrote: »

I know people on AH often get annoyed at journalists or reporters making threads on here to try and get people's opinions on things (so other people will essentially write their pieces for them), and despite the OP having a fair posting history, I can't help but feel that this is exactly that kind of thread.


What's your opinion on it, OP? How do you feel about this subject that you've asked about in a very demeaning manner to get people up in arms?

Im as far removed from a journalist you can find. I didnt mean to sound demeaning.
I ask because Im just interested to know how young people feel if they have to move back home.
In my case,Im the mammy and both my adult offspring have had to come home.
Of course this is their home,Ive no problem with them being here,though it has been difficult to get used to them being here all the time.

Karona

I'm moving back to Louth soon because I cannot afford to rent anymore, situations changed and all that, but my Mam is welcoming me home with open arms. I really don't think she can wait to have me back in her house so she can see what I'm up to. I do look after myself when I am there though, I pay her for upkeep, I cook my own meals and buy my own food and clean up after myself so really she is just a live in landlady that I'm related to and that doesn't bother me one bit.

Gotta love the mammy.

Micky Dolenz

chucken1 wrote: »

Im as far removed from a journalist you can find. I didnt mean to sound demeaning.
I ask because Im just interested to know how young people feel if they have to move back home.
In my case,Im the mammy and both my adult offspring have had to come home.
Of course this is their home,Ive no problem with them being here,though it has been difficult to get used to them being here all the time.

No more naked Tuesdays?

chucken1

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

No more naked Tuesdays?

...or Wednesdays

Dravokivich

My parents would take me back in if needed and I'd pay my way with it. But they'd know I wouldn't want to be there, not becasue I don't get on with'em, because I do. I just want to be able to be responsible for myself without having to fall back on someone else for a prolonged period of time.

up for anything

EUSSR wrote: »

I can see the front page of the Herald now. If I had the chance, I would make these rags illegal. Not only that, but force people to read only the Irish Times, The Times or the Examiner. That would learn em. Would eradicate slop journalism over the long term.

Such old-fashioned ideas you have the the broadsheets are any better than the tabloids. Kate Fitzgerald's parents would probably laugh themselves silly before they cried if they read your post.

starlit

Yes, I am still here since!

I am independent do my own thing (even that could cause issues at home and it shouldn't no matter how old you are!), pay my own bills. Do a bit of chores and pull my weight a bit not majorly but I don't depend on others and parents totally. I'm my own boss!

Some areas yes, but I very much lead my own life for the most part well I try to and its hard when living back at home again.

It varies from day to day I do my own washing, ironing, own cooking and always clean and tidy after myself even if I leave it a while before doing it I do it eventually but still get nagged to do other things but still I do look after myself for the most part and don't always expect mammy to do it yet she interferes in wanting to do it. Its like too many chefs spoil the broth sometimes.

If I clean and tidy the house differently or not enough or not right to the way she does it or how she want it done she don't be happy the way I do things around the house so basically instead of arguing I let her do it the way she wants to do it. I do clear out the dishwasher from time to time is not like I don't. I do a few jobs around the house from time to time. But if do it she just comment that I don't do it right so can't win. I do favours and so on so like its an endless battle sometimes. I rather live on my own though I miss the company though I guess.

Me and the kitchen don't see eye to eye, so less is more. I don't do much cause I just screw up so what's the point I do my bit she does her bit and all happy then. Keeps the peace!

I at least make my own bed and most of my meals but then again there are times you need your parents for some things.

I pay my own way for the most part and pay my own bills. I buy my own clothes and stuff like that. I don't expect my parents to pay for my nights out or anything big. Since quiet young I have learnt to pay for my own things and still do.