Bog roll

badabing106

I bought a 12 pack of kitten soft today in the supermarket today. There was an attractive lady behind me, and an attractive lady at the checkout till. I suddenly became very self concious when I saw the gigantic bundle of loo paper trundling down the conveyor belt, It seemed out of place with the rest of my groceries. They seemed a bit distracted too.Has anyone else felt a pang of embarrassment buying loo roll?

Ghandee

No.

Even the pope wipes his butt ffs!

d.anthony

People should need a license to use the internet.

stupidusername

try being a female buying a single carrot in a supermarket

Sky King

Just rob the blue roll from a petrol station forecourt.

At €0 / sqM you can't get cheaper and it's ultra absorbent.

Stings the ring a bit at first but it will soon callous up nicely like leather and then you're set.

kfallon

stupidusername wrote: »

try being a female buying a single carrot in a supermarket

It's prob worse if you are a camp guy tbh

Dudess

There was some study done a few years ago that revealed women with big boobs buy small melons. Thankfully the important things are being researched. :pac:

Loopie

stupidusername wrote: »

try being a female buying a single carrot in a supermarket

...or a cucumber....

Seriously OP, everyone wipes their ar*e... I never got people being embarassed buying bog roll. I take my time choosing which one, colour, ply etc, it's a serious business!

seantorious

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=az8GPSOdR2g

Abi

badabing106 wrote: »

I bought a 12 pack of kitten soft today in the supermarket today. There was an attractive lady behind me, and an attractive lady at the checkout till. I suddenly became very self concious when I saw the gigantic bundle of loo paper trundling down the conveyor belt, It seemed out of place with the rest of my groceries. They seemed a bit distracted too.Has anyone else felt a pang of embarrassment buying loo roll?

No, because everybody go 2's.


Imagine of it was a box of tampax going down the conveyor though, those bitches would have wet themselves thinking - 'nawh.. he went out and bought her some tampax.. Isn't he so sweet? nawhhh. I want him inside me'.


Or something like that.

Loopie

Sky King wrote: »

Just rob the blue roll from a petrol station forecourt.

At €0 / sqM you can't get cheaper and it's ultra absorbent.

Stings the ring a bit at first but it will soon callous up nicely like leather and then you're set.

That's like wiping your arse with a blade!

Kevin Duffy

Aw man, up to that moment those women thought you didn't need to wipe and were going to have lots of sex with you for that reason, but you blew it by revealing your weakness.

Dudess

OP it was Kitten Soft, so if anything, you're in. Buying Kitten Soft, instead of own brand arse sandpaper, looks sensitive.

JerryHandbag

Ghandee wrote: »

No.

Even the pope wipes his butt ffs!

Too right. Getting someone else to do that would be a Cardinal sin.

kfallon

Abi wrote: »

Imagine of it was a box of tampax going down the conveyor though, those bitches would have wet themselves thinking - 'nawh.. he went out and bought her some tampax.. Isn't he so sweet? nawhhh. I want him inside me'.


Or something like that.

They'd have thought "awwww his 'Johnny Giles' have burst" :pac:

ICANN

I share a house with 5 others so once a month we all take a turn to go and buy a months supply of jacks paper for the house. We live a 4 minute walk from the pound shop so the last time it was my turn I had £25 so bought £25 packs with 4 rolls each. They put them into two massive clear bags so I had to walk home with two huge clear bags of jacks paper.

I held my head high and proud.

Abi

kfallon wrote: »

They'd have thought "awwww his 'Johnny Giles' have burst" :pac:

Best buy a tub of sudocrem then too, maybe they'd like to be of assistance :pac:

Doyler92

I'm so poor I have to hang my toilet roll out to dry.

Naos

Dudess wrote: »

There was some study done a few years ago that revealed women with big boobs buy small melons. Thankfully the important things are being researched. :pac:

I remember reading a study that stated 'Penalty kick takers in a (soccer)World Cup Final feel more pressure than Penalty kick takers playing in a regular Sunday game'.

How do these things get research money?

kfallon

Abi wrote: »

Best buy a tub of sudocrem then too, maybe they'd like to be of assistance :pac:

Savlon and babywipes.....great for the hangover 'ringsting', oh yes, 1-0

Chuck Stone

I would have said:

Me: 'Well, this is awkward'

Her: 'Why do you say that handsome'?

Me: 'Don't you feel uncomfortable touching those knowing that I'm going to be wiping my arse with them in the not too distant future'?

Gee Bag

Ghandee wrote: »

No.

Even the pope wipes his butt ffs!

Yeah, but he uses little children

Archeron

I was so disappointed when I found out its not actually made of kittens.

RichieC

Used to. when I was ten.

pragmatic1

I know what you mean OP. Its like whoever is around then associates you with poo.

Scruffles

forgive the pun,but coud not give a sht about being seen with toilet roll.
it is only paper and there is nothing moraly wrong with having a sht-better out than in as anyone whose ever had constipation knows.:eek:
- it is only recycled food,perhaps if scientists can invent some sort of supplement people/animals can take to add scent to faeces so it comes out smelling of anything-perfume,flowers,aftershave,deodorant,coffee,freshly baked bread,freshly cut grass etc-anything that humans tend to love the smell of.

Mint Sauce

Could have been worse OP, could have been buying some cucumbers, condoms, and vasaline.

Abi wrote: »

No, because everybody go 2's.


Imagine of it was a box of tampax going down the conveyor though, those bitches would have wet themselves thinking - 'nawh.. he went out and bought her some tampax.. Isn't he so sweet? nawhhh. I want him inside me'.


Or something like that.

<off to buy some tampax in the morning>

maglite

irish-stew wrote: »

<off to buy some tampax in the morning>

I thought the same thing, but all you'd get is the assumption people might think they want you.

However if you act on it they will brand you as a cheating scumbag and you'll get nowhere, it will go from a mildly pleasant encounter to your being demonized.:(:(:(

Frynge

irish-stew wrote: »

Could have been worse OP, could have been buying some cucumbers, condoms, and Vasaline>

Or cucumbers, cling-film and elastic bands.

If on a budget

Overheal

badabing106 wrote: »

I bought a 12 pack of kitten soft today in the supermarket today. There was an attractive lady behind me, and an attractive lady at the checkout till. I suddenly became very self concious when I saw the gigantic bundle of loo paper trundling down the conveyor belt, It seemed out of place with the rest of my groceries. They seemed a bit distracted too.Has anyone else felt a pang of embarrassment buying loo roll?

You should have just said it was for your kitten. Chicks dig kittens.

stacexD

Scruffles wrote: »

forgive the pun,but coud not give a sht about being seen with toilet roll.
it is only paper and there is nothing moraly wrong with having a sht-better out than in as anyone whose ever had constipation knows.:eek:
- it is only recycled food,perhaps if scientists can invent some sort of supplement people/animals can take to add scent to faeces so it comes out smelling of anything-perfume,flowers,aftershave,deodorant,coffee,freshly baked bread,freshly cut grass etc-anything that humans tend to love the smell of.

and you'd get compliments after going for a sh*te with people asking you what scent it was etc :L
Britney Spears new one, half price in tesco :pac:

saa

Nope strutted through Tallaght with my 18 pack of Soft Velvet
Ooh yeah I can afford this I can
[It was on special offer]

mattjack

saa wrote: »

Nope strutted through Tallaght with my 18 pack of Soft Velvet
Ooh yeah I can afford this I can
[It was on special offer]

18 pack of Soft Velvet..... well there's a first for Tallaght ...

Doc Ruby

Having to check out a few hardcore porn movies is worse. I mean they don't even sell those in Dunnes. The looks you get.

pokertalk

stupidusername wrote: »

try being a female buying a single carrot in a supermarket

try bein a male buying a single carrot in a supermarket

Dudess

Buying saucy underwear in Dunnes and being served by a scarlet young fella is always amusing. :pac:

charlemont

I used to just rob the large roll out of the college bathrooms and take it home.. All the more satisfying when its free..
Now I just buy the recycled paper in Lidl..:D

saa

mattjack wrote: »

18 pack of Soft Velvet..... well there's a first for Tallaght ...

Yeah we usually just wipe our arses against the wall paper.
Council will pay for it.

ImpossibleDuck

badabing106 wrote: »

I bought a 12 pack of kitten soft today in the supermarket today. There was an attractive lady behind me, and an attractive lady at the checkout till. I suddenly became very self concious when I saw the gigantic bundle of loo paper trundling down the conveyor belt, It seemed out of place with the rest of my groceries. They seemed a bit distracted too.Has anyone else felt a pang of embarrassment buying loo roll?

Oh Lord, how I lol'd :pac:

Put so eloquently :P

saa

charlemont wrote: »

I used to just rob the large roll out of the college bathrooms and take it home.. All the more satisfying when its free..
Now I just buy the recycled paper in Lidl..:D

There was no need to rob for me, the college had those massive roles of toilet paper and when they were 75% gone the cleaner would change it early and still there would be 2-3 normal rolls left on them each and into the waste paper bin they went, not for long we were all mainly taking them for painting.

Is that a bit scummy, ah well..always good to have emergency tp.
*edit... for my bunghole.

dx22

Kittensoft - very strange name when you think about it!

Liam Byrne

kfallon wrote: »

Abi wrote: »

Imagine of it was a box of tampax going down the conveyor though, those bitches would have wet themselves thinking - 'nawh.. he went out and bought her some tampax.. Isn't he so sweet? nawhhh. I want him inside me'.


Or something like that.

They'd have thought "awwww his 'Johnny Giles' have burst" :pac:

WTF does a TV soccer pundit have to do with loo roll ? Coz he talks shoite ?

StaticNoise

The real question is, how many sheets do you use?

Stained Class

Reminds me of a story.

Indian reservation & 1 Indian sent to supermarket to buy cheap jax roll for the whole reservation.

Indian: I want good value jax roll for my community.

Shop Owner: Certainly Sir. We have a 'bottom' line range here we're trying out & you can have it at a very good price. The manufacturers want to get a good brandname for it & will give a prize for the best entry!

I: Sounds good. I'll take a trailerload

SO: Very good. Let me know how you get on with it.

*6 months later*

I: Hi, I've come back for more supplies for um reservation.

SO: No prob. Say, you bought a load of jax roll here a while back. Did your community come up with a good brandname for it?

I: Yes, myself & the rest of the Braves had a discussion on the subject & decided upon a name.

SO: Really? So what did you decide?

I: After much smoking of the peace pipe, we decided to call it the 'John Wayne Toilet Tissue.

SO: Why did you come up with that?

I: Well, it's rough & it's tough & it don't take any shoite from Indians.

Kojak

saa wrote: »

Yeah we usually just wipe our arses against the wall paper.
Council will pay for it.

Or you could use a fist of grass if you were really stuck....

bodhrandude

charlemont wrote: »

I used to just rob the large roll out of the college bathrooms and take it home.. All the more satisfying when its free..
Now I just buy the recycled paper in Lidl..:D

I used to rob bog roll from some of the pubs I played in, the big round roll, they leave some spare ones on the cubicle shelving and I have a bodhran case in which the roll fits perfectly heh heh.

charlemont

bodhrandude wrote: »

I used to rob bog roll from some of the pubs I played in, the big round roll, they leave some spare ones on the cubicle shelving and I have a bodhran case in which the roll fits perfectly heh heh.

Ha Ha, Its the same ones I used to get, The holder only has a cheap plastic twisty thingwhich is supposed to some kind of lock, Just jam a key at its edge and twist and bobs your uncle...:D

stoneill

See the looks you get when all you have on the conveyor is arse paper and new 3 pack of jocks.

policarp

Loopie wrote: »

That's like wiping your arse with a blade!

In hind sh !te that would be best forgotten. . .

Nothingbetter2d

Dudess wrote: »

OP it was Kitten Soft, so if anything, you're in. Buying Kitten Soft, instead of own brand arse sandpaper, looks sensitive.

unless he actually uses soft kittens to wipe his arse with

saa

Kojak wrote: »

Or you could use a fist of grass if you were really stuck....

What a disgusting waste of marijuana, suppose you could always dry and recycle. Natures way.