at the end of rope with 21 month old and food

hacked

So the title may be misleading....I have the opposite problem of most....my child eats everything.

Sorry if this is partly a rant thread...I'm at the end of my rope and close to tears!!

I have a little girl who is going on 22 months this month. Food has never been a problem with her....she eats like a little beast. I swear, I do a food shop with a friend of mine once a week and I think I buy more for me and my baby (I'm a single mother) than she does for her and her husband!!

Lately I have had enough though. It's not just food...its drink too. My child drinks an insane amount, and it has been noticed by more than just me. She walks around with a cup all day, and if its empty....sweet jesus you hear about it!! Some days I have to stick her in a room and go off by myself and blare some music for a few mintues because the constant dedmands of "juice juice juice!!!" every five seconds, feels similar to chinese water torture :P No matter how much I give the child to drink, shes usually demanding more. Literally every five minutes some days, and as a single mother with next to no help, its impossible to get anything done. The child doesn't nap either, so there's no break from her.

She's teh same with food sometimes. The last week or two she's constantly demanding snacks. SNACK SNACK SNACK!! I wouldn't mind, only the child eats more than I do. She never goes without, and I'm at a loss! I'm so exhausted these days that I just give in and give her whatever she wants some days because I just want her to stop. I know that's probably not right.

I don't know whether I should start a strict regime and stick to it or what. I don't mean that in a cruel way....but I don't think its normal for a child to be eating non stop all day?

I'm considering going to the docor about the drinking.

The other thing is sometimes when I give her snack and insist on her sitting to the table, she'll take them and throw them on the floor. She's doing this at meal times a lot also, and the work is collossal. I've told her that its bold behaviour...but obviously I'm being ignored. :rolleyes:

Any advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated, I'm a little overwhelmed and have lost sight of the end goal at this point!

Mr. Presentable

Stop with the juice. Give her water. "Juice" all day is bad bad bad.

hacked

She refuses to drink water whatsoever. I give her the tiniest bit of dilute so that she'll drink it, but I give her mostly milk.

Dades

Don't buy any more juice.

This might sound terrible, but when she's thirsty enough she'll drink water.

My daughter (3) could snack all day if allowed (fruit, bread, cheese etc). Though I've noticed it's only when she hanging out in the house or bored. When she really occupied she's fine.

Like everything else, you onus is on you lay down the groundrules. No snacks after 11 before lunch or whatever... *cue waterworks*

January

You're setting her up for bad habits when she's older if she won't drink water, just refuse to give her juice and only give her water, if she's really thirsty she'll drink it. Addison is always saying she's hungry, even after she's just had a big bowl of dinner. I just give her an apple or something healthy... she'll usually eat it because she is hungry. But if she's throwing stuff on the floor then she's just messing.

I know it's hard with you being a single mum, but start sticking to square meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper) and have a bowl of snacks (apples, banana's, raisins, rice cakes) and if she claims she wants a snack give her something from that in between. If she eats it she's obviously hungry, but if she doesn't then I'd tell her no until the next meal.

hacked

Thanks for the advice guys!

Yeah, I've stopped giving her so much dilute. I mostly give her milk hoping it will fill her up as well, and a lot of days I do just give her water.

The food is tough, as I get all sorts of conflicting advice and guilted into feeling like a bad parent. She's not even two and I've been told toddlers need snacks, you can't just expect them to eat the three meals a day with ntohing in between.

If she doesnt eat her snack and throws it on the ground I do just say ok thats enough then...get down and go play with your toys. I always give her healthy snacks...I eat very healthily, so when it comes to snacking its fruit or toast or something. She usually eats it is the thing.

What is a healthy regime to start putting into place? She's always eaten a lot, it's just now that shes bigger and more demanding I'm running into trouble. I don't want to starve the child, but I want to let her know who's boss. She's a very good little girl and I'm quite strict in every other aspect of our lives, so she's quite well behaved. I just don't want to starve her!

Morag

You need to learn to say "No" in the big stern Mammy voice and to mean it and stick to it.
Other wise she will be the one running the house and doing as she pleases.
The battle of wills starts here and you need to let her know you are in charge.

Hannibal Smith

hacked wrote: »

Thanks for the advice guys!

Yeah, I've stopped giving her so much dilute. I mostly give her milk hoping it will fill her up as well, and a lot of days I do just give her water.

The food is tough, as I get all sorts of conflicting advice and guilted into feeling like a bad parent. She's not even two and I've been told toddlers need snacks, you can't just expect them to eat the three meals a day with ntohing in between.

If she doesnt eat her snack and throws it on the ground I do just say ok thats enough then...get down and go play with your toys. I always give her healthy snacks...I eat very healthily, so when it comes to snacking its fruit or toast or something. She usually eats it is the thing.

What is a healthy regime to start putting into place? She's always eaten a lot, it's just now that shes bigger and more demanding I'm running into trouble. I don't want to starve the child, but I want to let her know who's boss. She's a very good little girl and I'm quite strict in every other aspect of our lives, so she's quite well behaved. I just don't want to starve her!

It's so hard to know what to do with different people telling you different things! As long as she's getting 3 meals a day she's not going to starve. My son has 3 meals and then 2 snacks a day (one between breakfast and lunch and the other between lunch and dinner). If you have them at the same time every day, she knows to expect it and knows she's got something heading her way.

I'd say it'll be hard getting her to change initially, but you're the boss. And yes on the juice front...tell her it's water/milk or nothing, if she's thirsty she'll drink it!

Roselm

As she is still under 3 your baby nurse is still available to you if you need advice. If you give her a ring at the local health centre they are usually more than happy to call out or speak to you over the phone regarding advice.

I don't know if this could be
-partly a behavioural thing due to her getting her own way
-and or a habit due to being bored etc and the fact that she always has juice or a snack
-or whether it could be that she actually is that thirsty/hungry and if so why.
Your baby nurse may be able to advise.

Best wishes

yellowlabrador

routine is important. Also find an activity every day that gets you out of the house, and so break the habit. Rain or shine I used to take my daughter out every day. Either a playgroup or a walk every day, something to look forward to. I took my daughter to the doctor age 2 because all she would eat was fruit and a cheese sandwich. The doctor took one look at her and said it was adequate. It stopped me worrying. I wouldn't give too much milk either, water is fine.
We all go through it when we get to the terrible twos, it's time to lay down the ground rules.

hacked

Thanks so much for the help everyone! It's really nice not to feel alone.

Think I've been feeling like a bad parent, because we are usually quite scheduled with our snacks/meals and always eat very healthily!

I've decided to take her to the doctor over the drinking. Juice aside, she is constantly thirsty, and when I made her wait today for a drink, she started sucking on her aquadoodle pen!!

I got strict with her today, almost killed me, but I think I figured the problem. We had the houseguest from hell over the christmas period, and I think she kept giving my daughter snacks (and bad ones ....ieven caught her trying to give the child whole peanuts ) behind my back. My sister told me this afternoon that one morning when I was having a lie in she watched the guest hand my daughter 6 gingerbread men in a row...one after the other, first thing in the morning!! I was already cursing her, but now I think I could strangle her. I r eally hope this isnt going to be too tough to break!

caprilicious

I'm the very same with R recently, despite sticking to routine meals, she is constantly hungry/thirsty in between meals.

She is going through a growth spurt though so I'm putting a lot of it down to that.
Plus she eats small meals, so eats little and often. I just make sure that any snacks she has between meals are fruit/cheese/rice cakes etc.

The drinking did throw me a bit there recently as she seems to finish one cup of drink and looks for another straight away!
I give her either water with a drop of fruit juice or water by itself & she seems happy enough with that.

Ooh don't blame you being peeved with the house guest feeding all that crap to her :eek:
I have a family member that I need to pull up from time to time on the amount of crap they try feed R.
It is well intentioned; but suggesting I give an under 2 year old a drop of coke because she was thirsty or arriving with bags of donuts/sweets when they come to visit her has me ever vigilant when they're around her!

Neyite

I think if her fluid intake is excessive, you do need to get a doctor check up to rule out diabetes - it probably isnt, and just a bad habit but it will give you peace of mind.

What I would suggest is measure what you are giving her for a few days so the doctor has a clear idea of her intake.

Hannibal Smith

hacked wrote: »

I got strict with her today, almost killed me, but I think I figured the problem. We had the houseguest from hell over the christmas period, and I think she kept giving my daughter snacks (and bad ones ....ieven caught her trying to give the child whole peanuts ) behind my back. My sister told me this afternoon that one morning when I was having a lie in she watched the guest hand my daughter 6 gingerbread men in a row...one after the other, first thing in the morning!! I was already cursing her, but now I think I could strangle her. I r eally hope this isnt going to be too tough to break!

:eek: That would drive me nuts!! Grrr it drives me mad when people do that and then you say something and you get 'ah a few biscuits won't do any harm!' :rolleyes:

bulmersgal

Hacked my daughter very similar to yours, she's in a Creche so here is her routine, she's same age as your daughter!

8am bottle milk
8.30 cereal and toast and water
10am snack usually fruit and water
11.30 dinner like stew and milk
2.00 snack usually crackers etc and water
3.30 supper like soup n bread and water

I usually collect her at 5 so she might get little snack of raisons. Then around 6 she usually has another dinner! Then milk bottle at 7

This is a ridiculous amount of food but she is so active and is a little underweight! Hope this helps

Lantus

as others have said my mind went to diabetes as a reason for such excessive fluid intake. could be a comfort thing though so dont panic.

A lot of the things you describe sound like boundary's are being tested. is there a consequence to any of the tentrums or food throwing. If you saying no is backed up by nothing but empty threats then children like all very smart aspiring adults will learn to ignore it. Your word is the law!

Also, just a thought but if she is snacking too lightly continuously then she may never feel 'full' and may be eating less at meal times? thus she feels like she needs more small bits of food which are not satisfying her. Hence the cycle of continuous snacking. does she have activites to keep her busy? outdoor play, toys, colouring in? activites that tire her out more like long walks or outdoor play could help towards her taking a nap and going longer between snacks encouraging more meals being eaten.

Setting up set times for meals and snacks would seem a good step forward. Talk it through and explain it and the foods she might like. Get her to choose some snacks?

de Faoite_girl

OP, please don't feel you are a bad parent. It is easy for outsiders or members of the family to say you should do this or that, but it's not that easy when confronted to the situation. I understand that sometimes it's easier to give in, even though we all know it's not the best.

I'm raising a two year old with my husband and it is quite challenging so all I can say is fair play for doing it on your own. I can only imagine how hard it must be.

If anything, just the fact that you worry and posted this thread show that you are a great parent because you are willing to tackle the problem and not happily feeding crap to your little one.

My hats off to you!