14-year-old shoots himself after bullying

Degsy

norrie rugger wrote: »

I love how I give you examples to counteract your silly points but you choose to ignore them

Not ignore them but i just find it very difficult to believe that kids would be getting beatings from you left and right but would still want to fight with you.

There i said it,i dont believe you.

norrie rugger

Degsy wrote: »

Not ignore them but i just find it very difficult to believe that kids would be getting beatings from you left and right but would still want to fight with you.

There i said it,i dont believe you.

That is your choice and of course you are wrong.
You seem to have missed the bit that it escalated to a hurley across the head, for me.

amacachi

Degsy wrote: »

The only way to defeat bullies is to make the kid stand up for his/herself..it can be hard the first time but it always works..bullies will always pick on an easy target and tbh i think kids and parents are getting softer.

Children being bullied dont need counselling..they need to be shown how to throw a punch.

Depends on a case-by-case basis. Unfortunately you're not allowed stand up for yourself in school now. I had someone in 5th year who just wouldn't piss off, I got in a fight with him before class and I was just lucky the vice principal was the one who walked in on it.
My sister stood up for herself last year and got scratched across the face. The other girl claimed her glasses got broken in it and was looking for my parents to pay for them. Give it a little while and there'll be plenty of stories about people getting sued for standing up for themselves.

The problem as I see it is the attempt to completely rid schoolkids from any kind of confrontation or violence. I'm sure every fella remembers their legs covered in bruises all through school from playing football all day. Never noticed it til ya saw the bruises. If there was a row it was sorted there and then. Now any pushing or shoving is stopped and things escalate. That's where the serious violence ends up happening. Letting kids give each other the odd cuff now and then is what keeps everything in check.

Degsy

norrie rugger wrote: »

That is your choice and of course you are wrong.
You seem to have missed the bit that it escalated to a hurley across the head, for me.

So you say...if you were getting hit with a hurley it wasnt just bullying,you must've done something serious on these blokes.

norrie rugger

Degsy wrote: »

So you say...if you were getting hit with a hurley it wasnt just bullying,you must've done something serious on these blokes.

Yeah, I fought back too much, in the school yard.
You seem to have this ramantic idea that all bullies are really cowards that will back down from a sustained fight.

Some of them are just psychos that like inflicting pain on others

RichieC

Degsy wrote: »

The only way to defeat bullies is to make the kid stand up for his/herself..it can be hard the first time but it always works..bullies will always pick on an easy target and tbh i think kids and parents are getting softer.

Children being bullied dont need counselling..they need to be shown how to throw a punch.

Could have bet some one would say this... Not every child is capable of self defence against larger bullies or groups of them. Some may have developmental problems.

This is not the answer to all bullying problems by a long chalk..

Mr. CooL ICE

Degsy wrote: »

LordChessington wrote: »

As someone who doesnt live in a fantasy world, yes, yes i am

Care to elaborate..i mean i've supported my points..hows about you back up what you're saying?

No you bloody havent! Everything you have stated in this thread sounds like idealistic high school drama bullsh1t and anybody who has had first hand experience with knows it to be utter tripe.

As i have said before, bullying is mostly psychological abuse with physical abuse being only a small part of it. Your described methods of dealing with bullying would only work in a minority of situations.

From teenage years onwards, bullies know what they can obviously get away with and what they cant and as i have already said, the instigator of any fight is always going to get any blame regardless of who is the bully or victim.

For the record, yes, i was a victim of bullying. In primary school, i moved from a city to a small town school and had a speech impediment. My bullies were 4 kids a year below me who used these against me. My mother realised i was arriving home later and later each day because i was hanging around school to avoid them. She brought it to the teachers attention who then put a stop to it. Nothing happened to these kids they denied everything and it was their word against mine. It pretty much stopped without any consequences to me

amacachi

LordChessington wrote: »

No you bloody havent! Everything you have stated in this thread sounds like idealistic high school drama bullsh1t and anybody who has had first hand experience with knows it to be utter tripe.

Worked fine for me and a coupla girls.

As i have said before, bullying is mostly psychological abuse with physical abuse being only a small part of it. Your described methods of dealing with bullying would only work in a minority of situations.

From teenage years onwards, bullies know what they can obviously get away with and what they cant and as i have already said, the instigator of any fight is always going to get any blame regardless of who is the bully or victim.

For the record, yes, i was a victim of bullying. In primary school, i moved from a city to a small town school and had a speech impediment. My bullies were 4 kids a year below me who used these against me. My mother realised i was arriving home later and later each day because i was hanging around school to avoid them. She brought it to the teachers attention who then put a stop to it. Nothing happened to these kids they denied everything and it was their word against mine. It pretty much stopped without any consequences to me

Nipping it in the bus with retaliation is the way to do it. Like you said yourself, by the time people reach secondary school bullies know what they can and can't do and it's because there's no consequences before that. A few cuffs brings it into view and if the teachers give half a **** they can find out what's been going on. Running to a teacher about bullying does nothing, THAT's idealistic teen drama thinking.

Tombo2000

RichieC wrote: »

Could have bet some one would say this... Not every child is capable of self defence against larger bullies or groups of them. Some may have developmental problems.

This is not the answer to all bullying problems by a long chalk..

Agree 100%.

I remember my mother telling me, oh just tell them to 'f8ck off', that will make them go away.

I didnt tell any kid who was liable to punch me in the head to f*ck off. But I did take on board that my mother didnt have a clue about the situation I was in and I didnt talk to her about it again.

In my case bullying was never physical, it was always psychological by group of people, any one of whom if I met them on their own wouldnt have said boo to me. I even got the sense that half of them felt bad about it but didnt want to lose face in front of the others, one or two (to use that awful adult phrase) ring-leaders drove the whole thing.


Degsy you are completely acting the maggot here.

boatbuilder

He went to a school close to me. There were ongoing mental health issues with this young person. I think that the media have picked up on it and gone to town on the bullying side of it as it makes a great story. Whos to say bullying didn't trigger or add to the mental health problems, but equally it could have nothing to do with bullying whatsoever.

Mr. CooL ICE

[Quote=amacachi;76493251
Nipping it in the bus with retaliation is the way to do it. Like you said yourself, by the time people reach secondary school bullies know what they can and can't do and it's because there's no consequences before that. A few cuffs brings it into view and if the teachers give half a **** they can find out what's been going on. Running to a teacher about bullying does nothing, THAT's idealistic teen drama thinking.[/Quote]
Are you saying its every primary kid bullying victims duty to instigate violence against a bully to prevent them from bullying in secondary school?

Tombo2000

I think it can be taken as a given that a young teenager does not know how to cope with bullying. He/she must be given a lot of help and emotional support when it does happen. (I dont mean counselling here, I mean parental and particularly sibling support).

My own view is that parents should be hyper alert to it, cause you just never know. Certainly my parents never did.

I do remember being extremely unhappy during that time though.

amacachi

LordChessington wrote: »

Are you saying its every primary kid bullying victims duty to instigate violence against a bully to prevent them from bullying in secondary school?

In the end that's what it comes down to. Going to teachers never worked for me or anyone I know. Back in primary school no-one was going to get seriously injured, kids can have thousands of scuffles getting no more than a black eye. That will either get the teachers involved or more likely get the bully to back off because it draws attention to it.

Letting kids either sort things out themselves at a stage when they're no real danger to each other is key. That and getting kids to grow a thicker skin.

Tombo2000

amacachi wrote: »

In the end that's what it comes down to. Going to teachers never worked for me or anyone I know. Back in primary school no-one was going to get seriously injured, kids can have thousands of scuffles getting no more than a black eye. That will either get the teachers involved or more likely get the bully to back off because it draws attention to it.

Letting kids either sort things out themselves at a stage when they're no real danger to each other is key. That and getting kids to grow a thicker skin.

But we've already discussed the fact that bullying is frequently psychological rather than physical.........that whacking people doesnt come into it regardless.....

You seem to be viewing bullying in the Enid Blyton sense of some Biffo swiping your lunch money and running off to the tuck shop.

No real danger to each other? why was this thread started?

Grow a thicker skin......come off it.....thats the sort of nonsense that just makes kids shut up shop and talk to no one about it......that bloody "sticks and stones will hurt my bones" bullcrap.......

Fundamental starting point: Many/most teenagers dont know how to deal with bullying. They are not given a text book aged nine and told, if bullied do the following and you will be fine.

There was a kid in my class, and out of nowhere this other kid started calling him smellser.....started laughing at him all the time that he didnt wash, hold their fingers over their noses when he'd go by...and it just grew and grew....went on for about two years.. It completely screwed up his confidence....and he ended up scrubbing/ washing his skin so much it was nearly red raw from the soap, as he ended up paranoid about it......."have a thick skin son, you'll be ok".......I'm sure some folks will laugh it this, the bullies certainly thought it was funny. but therein is a point, I dont think they had any idea how unhappy that would make him.....jsut dont think they thought about it.

sunflower27

amacachi wrote: »

In the end that's what it comes down to. Going to teachers never worked for me or anyone I know. Back in primary school no-one was going to get seriously injured, kids can have thousands of scuffles getting no more than a black eye. That will either get the teachers involved or more likely get the bully to back off because it draws attention to it.

Letting kids either sort things out themselves at a stage when they're no real danger to each other is key. That and getting kids to grow a thicker skin.

Several posters on here have pointed out how going to the teachers DID work for them and I am sure that they are eternally grateful they did go.

as125634do

Well sometimes its best to leave it

other times the victim shud get a gun and kill the bullies if it means theyd end their own life why not take the aggressors also.

These bullies are everywhere trying to legitimise their actions

imagine my scenario

Cyber bullied by a group over my sexuality

this group has murdered before

sometimes u just got to go with it like a gazelle on an african plain being stalked by lions.

Bullying a great game altogether!!

Tombo2000

as125634do wrote: »

Well sometimes its best to leave it

other times the victim shud get a gun and kill the bullies if it means theyd end their own life why not take the aggressors also.

These bullies are everywhere trying to legitimise their actions

imagine my scenario

Cyber bullied by a group over my sexuality

this group has murdered before

sometimes u just got to go with it like a gazelle on an african plain being stalked by lions.

Bullying a great game altogether!!

well i wouldnt go that far. instead I'd try to talk to the people closest to me about it and to people who'd been in a similar situation instead.

but I say that as someone who is looking at a situation with hindsight, as opposed to being in it.

incidentally padraig O'Morain in the Irish Times has written some good stuff about bullying, worth checking out.

amacachi

Tombo2000 wrote: »

But we've already discussed the fact that bullying is frequently psychological rather than physical.........that whacking people doesnt come into it regardless.....

You seem to be viewing bullying in the Enid Blyton sense of some Biffo swiping your lunch money and running off to the tuck shop.

No real danger to each other? why was this thread started?

Grow a thicker skin......come off it.....thats the sort of nonsense that just makes kids shut up shop and talk to no one about it......that bloody "sticks and stones will hurt my bones" bullcrap.......

Fundamental starting point: Many/most teenagers dont know how to deal with bullying. They are not given a text book aged nine and told, if bullied do the following and you will be fine.

There was a kid in my class, and out of nowhere this other kid started calling him smellser.....started laughing at him all the time that he didnt wash, hold their fingers over their noses when he'd go by...and it just grew and grew....went on for about two years.. It completely screwed up his confidence....and he ended up scrubbing/ washing his skin so much it was nearly red raw from the soap, as he ended up paranoid about it......."have a thick skin son, you'll be ok".......I'm sure some folks will laugh it this, the bullies certainly thought it was funny. but therein is a point, I dont think they had any idea how unhappy that would make him.....jsut dont think they thought about it.

Here's a ****ing bat**** insane idea, why not read a post before you reply to it and I don't remember there being a huge amount of time in the Famous Five books being spent in college, I may have to bow to your superior knowledge on Enid Blyton here though.
I said that in general (since, if we're going to be honest, kids shooting themselves is a pretty rare outcome of bullying) kids should be taught to look after themselves from an early age. Again, I may be mistaken or things might have changed hugely in the 5 or 6 years I'm out of school but I think that 14 year olds generally are in secondary school rather than primary school. Also the kid shot himself, I was talking about physical confrontation, but why would you want to address my points as they were made?

Kids now get no experience in confrontation as they're growing up (in primary school, just to be super clear) and by the time they get to secondary school everything has been ingrained in both the bully and the victim. When confrontation does then happen the bullies aren't used to being stood up to and take it much worse than is logical and that's where the physical danger comes in.

sunflower27 wrote: »

Several posters on here have pointed out how going to the teachers DID work for them and I am sure that they are eternally grateful they did go.

I went to a few, never worked. Coupla cuffs, black eye for me, done. Sister went to shrinks etc., bullies kept at it. Coupla cuffs, sorted. Friend was being tormented, went to several teachers, nothing done about it. Gave yer one a kick, that was it.
I never said that physicality is always the answer, just that in my experience it works in plenty of cases. Teaching kids how to handle confrontation and how to stick up for themselves (not just physically) is the most important thing.

Degsy

as125634do wrote: »

Cyber bullied by a group over my sexuality

this group has murdered before

The KKK have a facebook page now?

Tombo2000

amacachi wrote: »

Here's a ****ing bat**** insane idea, why not read a post before you reply to it

i did read your post.

the bit that annoyed me was

"Letting kids either sort things out themselves at a stage when they're no real danger to each other is key."

This, to my mind, places bullying in the physical sense only.

An 8 year old can be bullied psychologically just as much as a 14 year old.

So I dont really see at what stage they are no real danger to one another, unless you are viewing the damage in physical terms only.

amacachi

Tombo2000 wrote: »

i did read your post.

the bit that annoyed me was

"Letting kids either sort things out themselves at a stage when they're no real danger to each other is key."

This, to my mind, places bullying in the physical sense only.

An 8 year old can be bullied psychologically just as much as a 14 year old.

So I dont really see at what stage they are no real danger to one another, unless you are viewing the damage in physical terms only.

Of course I'm talking about physical terms, that's what scuffles usually mean.

There are always going to be arseholes around, learning to deal with them is part of life. Learning to deal with them in a safe environment at a time when the (physical) damage to each other will be minimal and the (possible) psychological damage can be minimised by the victim is the ideal.

In primary school especially I fail to see the downside of a victim throwing a few thumps. If losing a fight means they won't have friends then I'm fairly sure telling the teacher that someone made fun of them will at least equally mean they'll struggle to make friends etc.

Tombo2000

amacachi wrote: »

Of course I'm talking about physical terms, that's what scuffles usually mean.

.

yes but its not what bullying means.

if thats your solution to sorting out scuffles then fair dinkum.

this discussion is about bullying.

ch750536

norrie rugger wrote: »

You must have had some fairly weak bullies TBH.
I am 6ft1' and more than cabable of handing out a pasting.

Meh, got a nightly kicking for about a week.

Freddie59

LordChessington wrote: »

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

In my school years, there were plenty of bullying cases none were the same. The only time that violence solved a bullying case was when the bully in question had no support. Victim attacked the bully and nobody backed him up.

Bullies mostly look for a reaction and a reason to escalate their torment. If someone is ostracised for whatever reason kids have and decide to lash out, it gives the bully a reason to use violence in return with their mates to back them up.

Teaching a kid to fight back is in the majority of cases going to make things ten times worse. Its not a black and white issue

Let me ask you this then: if it were YOUR child how, precisely would YOU solve it.

In our case it was the ultimate last resort. "Ostracised for whatever reason" highlights how much you misunderstand the issue. We had a very well-behaved 14 year-old who was isolated, harassed, and verbally abused at every turn.

The school could not protect her; I as a father could not protect her; she had to protect herself. She 'fought back' as you put it so succinctly after being dragged to the ground by her hair with the bully sitting astride her wanting to punch her face in.

To this day I would not regret advising her to defend herself (which is very different from 'fighting back' as you put it). If she had not God knows WHAT would have happened.

I would ask you:

Have YOU been a victim of bullying?

Have you a child which has suffered this torment?

If not you're really not in a position to preach to anyone about it, frankly.

amacachi

Tombo2000 wrote: »

yes but its not what bullying means.

if thats your solution to sorting out scuffles then fair dinkum.

this discussion is about bullying.

I'm saying use it a reaction to bullying. Jesus there's some ****ing high horses in here today, must've been a few going cheap once War Horse finished filming.

Freddie59

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Cyberbulling is bullshít. Who honestly gets upset by words on the internet . In all honesty suicide is a horrible, selfish , terrible thing and it should be taken seriously . But if your kid is the type to commit suicide because of words on the internet then even if you stopped that happening , a week in the real world after school would set them off far worse than any 'cyber bullying' ever could

It's hard to believe you posted that really. Psychological abuse can be every bit as demeaning and hurtful as punches being thrown.

Freddie59

gemma188 wrote: »

Or maybe some kids just have more class than to lower themselves to the level of a bully by engaging in a physical altercation. And how naive of you to suggest that its the only way to prevent bullying.

If a child is being attacked do you recommend they NOT defend themselves then?

sunflower27

amacachi wrote: »

I'm saying use it a reaction to bullying. Jesus there's some ****ing high horses in here today, must've been a few going cheap once War Horse finished filming.

Come on, that joke was a bit lame. You could have done better if you tried a bit

ch750536

Freddie59 wrote: »

I would ask you:
Have YOU been a victim of bullying?
Have you a child which has suffered this torment?
If not you're really not in a position to preach to anyone about it, frankly.

FFS Freddie59 get a grip & stop telling people what they can & cant have an opinion on.

Freddie59

gemma188 wrote: »

Confront the bully without using violence. Get class discussions started on the topic of bullying. Push for stories such as this poor child in Australia to be published in the school newsletter to make bully realise what their actions could drive someone to do. Talk to a parent. Report the bullying to a teacher. Lots of ways to resolve it without using your fists.

Bully's solve things by fighting. Why should someone who is better than this be forced to reduce themselves to such thuggery?

Do you ACTUALLY believe that? Try running that by a group of 14 year-olds.

amacachi

sunflower27 wrote: »

Come on, that joke was a bit lame. You could have done better if you tried a bit

I was going to say something about Troy but that reference is a bit on the old side. :pac:

Freddie59

ch750536 wrote: »

FFS Freddie59 get a grip & stop telling people what they can & cant have an opinion on.

I'm speaking from experience. I'm not telling people what they can have an opinion on. Read the whole thread before spouting off.

amacachi

Freddie59 wrote: »

Do you ACTUALLY believe that? Try running that by a group of 14 year-olds.

This is what I love, going for a bully is being called living in a teen drama dream world while having a discussion with them or getting a teacher onto them who can make them have an epiphany about how their lack of a father figure is what leads them to bullying isn't. :pac:

Tombo2000

Freddie59 wrote: »

Let me ask you this then: if it were YOUR child how, precisely would YOU solve it.

In our case it was the ultimate last resort. "Ostracised for whatever reason" highlights how much you misunderstand the issue. We had a very well-behaved 14 year-old who was isolated, harassed, and verbally abused at every turn.

The school could not protect her; I as a father could not protect her; she had to protect herself. She 'fought back' as you put it so succinctly after being dragged to the ground by her hair with the bully sitting astride her wanting to punch her face in.

To this day I would not regret advising her to defend herself (which is very different from 'fighting back' as you put it). If she had not God knows WHAT would have happened.

I would ask you:

Have YOU been a victim of bullying?

Have you a child which has suffered this torment?

If not you're really not in a position to preach to anyone about it, frankly.

What I would suggest to you is that your daughter was able to defend herself because she was no longer afraid of the bully, and that this in turn was because she had received a lot of coaching and a lot of support from people she trusted, and that her confidence wasnt at rock bottom when she was attacked.

A lot of kids are dealing with this stuff in complete isolation and they simply cant handle it on their own.

And you were not wrong to tell her to defend herself. on the contrary, its the right thing to do. But defending yourself is very often not enough to stop the bullying.....though to be honest I dont know what is.

Freddie59

I Heart Internet wrote: »

Nor is our society a jungle.

Unfortunately some of our schoolyards are - and some within them are animals.

Freddie59

gemma188 wrote: »

As someone already said I think this guy has been watching far too many American high school movies or episodes of Glee. And I suppose by your logic once the victim defeats the lead jock, the head cheerleader will fall for the guy who was bullied and against all odds they'll end up being voted the prom King and Queen. :rolleyes:

Bully's have no issue with causing physical harm to others. So how can you expect a child who was brought up with better morals than this to engage in acts of violence when this is more than likely something a bully thrives on.

I ask again. What are they supposed to do? Take it on the chin and smile? FFS.:rolleyes::mad:

Spread

If there is an online or texting bullying situation ............ surely this can be reported ...... paper trail and all that. A call from the local community guard might get them to see the error of their ways.

Tombo2000

Spread wrote: »

If there is an online or texting bullying situation ............ surely this can be reported ...... paper trail and all that. A call from the local community guard might get them to see the error of their ways.

I'd actually agree with that. it should be criminal.

I remember once I was badly beaten up, just once, but it was the same general gang who'd been harrassing me for a while.

Now my folks were annoyed, and my dad went around and had words with his dad.

In retrospect....and i say this twenty years on, I wish the cops had been called in cause what the kid did was assault and an 18 year old would have gotten 6 months for it. And this guy was only 15, so i dont know what cops could have done, but I dont like the notion that the only price he paid for it was a ticking off from his old man.

Mr. CooL ICE

Let me ask you this then: if it were YOUR child how, precisely would YOU solve it.

In our case it was the ultimate last resort. "Ostracised for whatever reason" highlights how much you misunderstand the issue. We had a very well-behaved 14 year-old who was isolated, harassed, and verbally abused at every turn.

The school could not protect her; I as a father could not protect her; she had to protect herself. She 'fought back' as you put it so succinctly after being dragged to the ground by her hair with the bully sitting astride her wanting to punch her face in.

To this day I would not regret advising her to defend herself (which is very different from 'fighting back' as you put it). If she had not God knows WHAT would have happened.

I would ask you:

Have YOU been a victim of bullying?

Have you a child which has suffered this torment?

If not you're really not in a position to preach to anyone about it, frankly.

If you had read my other posts, you would know that a) the post you quoted was in response to Degsys claim that violence solves all bullying and b) yes, i was a victim of bullying.

As i have stated multiple times, bullying is not a black and white issue. There is no single solution to every bullying problem. Also, the internet and social networking sites were not around when i was in primary school. For these reasons, i would not offer advice to anybody about a bullying case such as this unless i knew every aspect of what was happening.

ch750536

Freddie59 wrote: »

I'm speaking from experience. I'm not telling people what they can have an opinion on. Read the whole thread before spouting off.

You are speaking from YOUR experience. does not mean nothing else applies or that I am 'not in a position to preach to anyone about it, frankly.'

Freddie59

ch750536 wrote: »

You are speaking from YOUR experience. does not mean nothing else applies or that I am 'not in a position to preach to anyone about it, frankly.'

Yes - which appears to be more than YOU are able to. Before lecturing anyone, consider the issue at hand. Again. And have YOU been bullied? Or do you have a CHILD that has been bullied? Frankly, if your answer to both is no, you cannot speak with sufficient knowledge of the subject at hand.

It is truly staggering the amount of posters on this thread that seem to think that 'reasoning' with these scum or reporting it to the authorities will settle matters. Naive doesn't even cover it.

Freddie59

LordChessington wrote: »

If you had read my other posts, you would know that a) the post you quoted was in response to Degsys claim that violence solves all bullying and b) yes, i was a victim of bullying.

As i have stated multiple times, bullying is not a black and white issue. There is no single solution to every bullying problem. Also, the internet and social networking sites were not around when i was in primary school. For these reasons, i would not offer advice to anybody about a bullying case such as this unless i knew every aspect of what was happening.

I am saying precisely the same. But in our daughter's case she had to protect herself, as no-one else could. What was she to do? Take a beating - or several beatings while risking her physical health and wellbeing- then try to reason with these thugs?

Freddie59

Tombo2000 wrote: »

What I would suggest to you is that your daughter was able to defend herself because she was no longer afraid of the bully, and that this in turn was because she had received a lot of coaching and a lot of support from people she trusted, and that her confidence wasnt at rock bottom when she was attacked.

A lot of kids are dealing with this stuff in complete isolation and they simply cant handle it on their own.

And you were not wrong to tell her to defend herself. on the contrary, its the right thing to do. But defending yourself is very often not enough to stop the bullying.....though to be honest I dont know what is.

Agreed. But, believe me, this was the lowest point of her life. I dread to think what might have happened if she had not been so mature and intelligent. Thank you for your kind comments.:)

ch750536

Freddie59 wrote: »

Yes - which appears to be more than YOU are able to. Before lecturing anyone,

Lecture? I'm giving opinion. Point to where I 'lecture'.

Freddie59 wrote: »

consider the issue at hand. Again. And have YOU been bullied?

Jesus, I only state the answer to that 3 times in the thread, not going to find it for you, do that yourself.

Freddie59 wrote: »

Or do you have a CHILD that has been bullied?

See previous comment.

Freddie59 wrote: »

Frankly, if your answer to both is no, you cannot speak with sufficient knowledge of the subject at hand.

That's utter utter nonsense. So I cant talk about football unless I am a footballer. Can I only talk about crime if I am either a criminal or a guard?

Freddie59 wrote: »

It is truly staggering the amount of posters on this thread that seem to think that 'reasoning' with these scum or reporting it to the authorities will settle matters. Naive doesn't even cover it.

There is more than one solution to more than 1 problem.

Ryuken

I was bullied alot in my first primary school, I grew up in Belcamp/Darndale. One day I ran out the gate of priorswood school and ran home and told my mom I was never going back there after I overheard 3 of them planning on jumping me on the way home and "killing" me.

My mom listened to me and moved me into a different school, it was only 1 year until secondary but it made all the difference. I came out of my shell alot in the new school and went from being a low scoring under performing student to top of the class and eventually the honours class in secondary school. I am now on my way to a B.Sc.

Sure they tried to bully me in secondary school but by then I had grown about 3 feet and knocked the **** out of anyone who thought they could torment me and get away with it. Sounds barbaric nowadays but as I said I grew up in one of the roughest areas in Dublin so it was all I could do to make it through and survive. i spent alot of time in secondary school making sure that some of the quieter and weaker lads around me didnt get bullied. I would stand between the bullys and them alot of the time and make sure the bullys knew that they couldnt pick on him. Didn't make me much friends but they werent the sort of people I wanted as friends anyway.

Thank God my kids wont grow up in such an area.

Trust me there is only one language the bully understands and thats the fist. Anyone who doesnt understand this is naive and has obviosuly never lived through the hell that is a sustained campaign of bullying

mikemac1

I got a right hard time in school.
Not surprised looking back on it, unconfident, glasses, slim, weak.

Anyways, got a right hard time for years

There once was a study [Readers Digest I think] that the most traumatic thing for a child to go through was not having their parents die but it was bullying.
And I believe it as I was there

Anyways, a few posts here are approaching teachers and ignoring and reasoning. And I can't post about social networks, weren't around back then

Bullies are not there to be reasoned with, they understand one thing and that's a belt.
I was getting jabbed with a hurely, lost the head and grabbed the hurley and belted the lad. My confidence soared and that was solved
Pelted with conkers and coke bottles for months on end on the school bus and nicknames chanted. Lost the head, gave a few digs and resolved.

But a strange thing happened. There was a weaker lad in the class then me and I sort of deflected attention onto them.
Tbh I think a lot of lads dishing out the bullying are cowards and afraid if they don't focus on you the gang will focus on them.

Bullies are everywhere and can suss you out in a second. Maybe you've a team leader or boss who is confident and popular but constantly shouts at you and only you. You may up thinking it's your fault and you're useless and everyone else is brilliant

Some bullies mature and grow up and some remain assholes for life. And these people tend to be agressive and driven and many get ahead in life.

Yes nice guys doormats do finish last and if you act eager to please in an effort to get people to like you then you get no respect.

Mr. CooL ICE

Freddie59 wrote: »

I am saying precisely the same. But in our daughter's case she had to protect herself, as no-one else could. What was she to do? Take a beating - or several beatings while risking her physical health and wellbeing- then try to reason with these thugs?

You called me out (and others too) and accused me of having misunderstood the subject matter at hand. I felt it was necessary to point out that I had first hand experience with it.

Were you ever bullied as a child?

Jamesyrp007

It's survival of the fittest out there.. Unfortunately

Ryuken

gemma188 wrote: »

Confront the bully without using violence. Get class discussions started on the topic of bullying. Push for stories such as this poor child in Australia to be published in the school newsletter to make bully realise what their actions could drive someone to do. Talk to a parent. Report the bullying to a teacher. Lots of ways to resolve it without using your fists.

Bully's solve things by fighting. Why should someone who is better than this be forced to reduce themselves to such thuggery?

Oh my god if they tried that in a school where I grew up they would be laughed at. you obviously have no idea what a rough school is like. best way to deal with a male bully is unfortunatly to kick the sh!te out of him.


I went to school with some lads you would know from the front page of the papers over the last few years, one of them was Stephen Egan, the animal who killed his cellmate and defacated in his mouth so the gardai could not attempt to resuscitate him. Do you think this guy needed to hear storys about a kid who was bullied in Australia to calm him down? Do you think that group discussions would of stopped him? No, he attacked me one day and I beat the living **** out of him and he left me alone after that. Thats the only solution short of Nazi like policy with these people.

When he was at home he watched his parents inject heroin. Nothing could shock this kid into behaving.You have NO idea what some of the schools in deprived areas are like. Were there many people in your schools from disfunctional traveller families who liked to make other kids bleed for fun? Well there was in mine. I once took over 30 punches to the head from a group of 7 lads because I walked passed them on an isolated street in Darndale. They laughed at me while i cried and pleaded with them to let me go, they did'nt want to rob me, they just wanted to kill me for fun. Apparently i had a 'Malahide' accent that made me a target.

I managed to escape and run home where I promptly collapsed and was taken to A+E. They nearly killed me that day. Trust me group discussions are not what these people need.

Freddie59

Ryuken wrote: »

Trust me there is only one language the bully understands and thats the fist. Anyone who doesnt understand this is naive and has obviosuly never lived through the hell that is a sustained campaign of bullying

From one who lived through it. Unfortunately.