14-year-old shoots himself after bullying

Freddie59

ch750536 wrote: »

Lecture? I'm giving opinion. Point to where I 'lecture'.

You were the one who started going on about 'not letting others have opinions' because you disagreed with what was being posted. Most of which was correct.

ch750536 wrote: »

That's utter utter nonsense. So I cant talk about football unless I am a footballer. Can I only talk about crime if I am either a criminal or a guard?

Bit of a difference between a child's life being endangered and wondering if Arsenal are going to beat Man U.:rolleyes:

Talking about something and actually understanding and knowing what you're talking about are completely different things.

ch750536 wrote: »

There is more than one solution to more than 1 problem.

No-one doubts that for one minute. But, unfortunately, in this instance self-preservation is what matters.

Freddie59

LordChessington wrote: »

You called me out (and others too) and accused me of having misunderstood the subject matter at hand. I felt it was necessary to point out that I had first hand experience with it.

Were you ever bullied as a child?

Nope. But my daughter was. Was yours?

Dudess

Advocating standing-up is perhaps a good idea when the bullying is verbal (although it could result in further ostracisation - bullies can command a lot of power and influence, and might be able to use any form of confrontation by the bullied person as a way of turning others against them; I saw this happening in my school) but when there's physical violence, it's all very well to say punch them back - what if the kid does, and then gets several shades of shyte knocked out of them? Not every kid is equal in the physicality stakes - and that's only going to damage their self-esteem further.

It's a gamble.

Ryuken

Dudess wrote: »

Advocating standing-up is perhaps a good idea when the bullying is verbal (although it could result in further ostracisation - bullies can command a lot of power and influence.

I Guarantee you that nobody respects bullies, they just fear them, and they dont have much power or influence, thats why they need to keep beating people to keep what little influence they have in check.

Bullies power comes from the belief others develop that they are invincible. Prove them wrong and no body will touch you. Its like a mythical creature, Chop of the head and the body dies. Bullies and their groups of lackies fall apart the moment the bully is put in his place.

When they fall, they fall easily and hard, And all the hangers on will not stand up for them. One good punch to a bully's jaw in front of all his lackies and watch what happens. No one stands up for him and everyone leaves you alone after that. Tried and tested.

I recommend Karate or some other martial art to bullied kids. Teaches them alot about self respect, dignaty, self control and self defence.

My Dad always told me when I was a kid that "if I let someone walk on me I will always be walked on for the rest of my life", and that "If I must fight the bullies, go for the biggest, scariest one" This advice got me through school.

Freddie59

Ryuken wrote: »

My Dad always told me when I was a kid that "if I let someone walk on me I will always be walked on for the rest of my life", and that "If I must fight the bullies, go for the biggest, scariest one" This advice got me through school.

Exceptionally good advice.

Freddie59

Dudess wrote: »

Advocating standing-up is perhaps a good idea when the bullying is verbal (although it could result in further ostracisation - bullies can command a lot of power and influence, and might be able to use any form of confrontation by the bullied person as a way of turning others against them; I saw this happening in my school) but when there's physical violence, it's all very well to say punch them back - what if the kid does, and then gets several shades of shyte knocked out of them? Not every kid is equal in the physicality stakes - and that's only going to damage their self-esteem further.

It's a gamble.

No-one doubts that D. But, as asked already, if a bully is about to pulverise you, what to do. Leave them off, and risk maybe brain damage? Or defend yourself? The latter is a far wiser plan.

Mr. CooL ICE

Freddie59 wrote: »

Nope. But my daughter was. Was yours?

I don't have any children.

Freddie59 wrote: »

No-one doubts that D. But, as asked already, if a bully is about to pulverise you, what to do. Leave them off, and risk maybe brain damage? Or defend yourself? The latter is a far wiser plan.

Freddie, this thread is about bullying (specifically cyber bullying), and that is what I am talking about. The victim in the OP was a victim of cyber bullying and there isn't any mention of it turning physical.

I have never stated what should be done when bullying turns violent. You seem to think that this thread is only about dealing with violent confrontations as a child, regardless of whether or not general bullying. This is a topic for another thread completely.

Dudess

Ryuken wrote: »

Dudess wrote: »

Advocating standing-up is perhaps a good idea when the bullying is verbal (although it could result in further ostracisation - bullies can command a lot of power and influence.

I Guarantee you that nobody respects bullies, they just fear them, and they dont have much power or influence, thats why they need to keep beating people to keep what little influence they have in check.

Bullies power comes from the belief others develop that they are invincible. Prove them wrong and no body will touch you. Its like a mythical creature, Chop of the head and the body dies. Bullies and their groups of lackies fall apart the moment the bully is put in his place.

When they fall, they fall easily and hard, And all the hangers on will not stand up for them. One good punch to a bully's jaw in front of all his lackies and watch what happens. No one stands up for him and everyone leaves you alone after that. Tried and tested.

I recommend Karate or some other martial art to bullied kids. Teaches them alot about self respect, dignaty, self control and self defence.

My Dad always told me when I was a kid that "if I let someone walk on me I will always be walked on for the rest of my life", and that "If I must fight the bullies, go for the biggest, scariest one" This advice got me through school.

I'm not disputing what you say can be the case, but not always - to say it's a guarantee every time is just guess-work. I'm not saying I wouldn't like little sh1t-bags to get a thumping, but it's a risk for a physically weaker and ostracised kid whose confidence is shot.

Tombo2000

Dudess wrote: »

Advocating standing-up is perhaps a good idea when the bullying is verbal (although it could result in further ostracisation - bullies can command a lot of power and influence, and might be able to use any form of confrontation by the bullied person as a way of turning others against them; I saw this happening in my school) but when there's physical violence, it's all very well to say punch them back - what if the kid does, and then gets several shades of shyte knocked out of them? Not every kid is equal in the physicality stakes - and that's only going to damage their self-esteem further.

It's a gamble.

I'd say its one of those things where each situation has to be judged on its own.

I was bullied for a long time by a bunch of guys. In my own case I did to the textbook thing of confronting them, showing them I wasnt scared but that just seemed to egg them on more, the fact that they were getting a reaction out of me. In retrospect in my case if I;d kept my mouth shut they';d probably have gotten bored and moved on to the next victim.

As mentioned, i was badly beaten up once by the same group, or lets say an associate of that group. Howeve I'd say that the physical beating didnt bother me nearly as much as the constant psychological taunting that went on over a long time.

And I did fight back, the guy who attacked me I retaliated and would have been well able for him, but ended up just holding him off as I was surrounded by 6 of his mates. There was only so much 'giving as good as I got' I could do......bullying isnt always a one vs one situation, often its not.

While each situation is different, and there is no all-fix solution, I would reiterate what I said earlier. Teenagers and kids generally speaking arent emotionally mature enough to deal with bullying. Teenagers feel their insecurities far more than adults, and bullies tend to feed off those insecurities. Thats why I would say it so important that the kid being bullied has someone they can to talk about it, who can help restore their confidence. You may not be able to do anything about the bullies behaviour, but you can do something about the bullied kids confidence and low self esteem. thats why I said its so important that parents are hyper sensitive to this.

personally, if my kid was being bullied in a school and the school was saying they could do nothing about it, I would have no hesitation about taking the kid out of the school straight away....

Final point on this; I am (obviously) no psychologist and I suspect no one else is here. I'm always a bit suspect of discussing these deeply emotive topics, relating to emotionally tender situations, on a forum like this. I wouldnt take anything from this board, including what I said, as anything more than an opinion that you might equally get from sitting beside you on a bus.

Dudess

Yeah, that's a good point - what use is squaring up to the ringleader when they've a gang of cronies.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I stood up for myself, took one punch and put the bully in a dentist chair.

The result? I became a target for every ****ing one of his classmates, thanks a bunch.

While I'm all for self defense and increasing confidence measures, anyone thinking a kid being able to fight or stand up will automatically be immune from bullying is deluding themselves.

The only way you're going to stamp this out is by seriously dealing with any kid caught doing it. Treat it the same way you would child abuse. After all, that's what it is.

Oh, and it would also help if people promoted an equal society, rather than subscribing to media that promote inequality, class differences, eliteism and racism.

Dude111

Very sad....... BULLIES ARE AWEFUL

sparkthatbled

Occasionally a bully gets too cocky and bites off more than he can chew, such as the famous example...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isfn4OxCPQs

For those of you who haven't seen it, the bullied kid might be bigger but he was subjected to a campaign of bullying by a whole gang of other boys, then one day one of them got a bit too cocksure of himself.



Most kids just have to suffer through it, unfortunately. They are usually much smaller than their tormentors. I got it for being short and skinny, they used to call me 'muscles' and other such names which seem stupid and harmless but over time it can affect you. There's not much a teacher or parent can do. My mam copped what was going on and subtley told me that any day i didn't want to go to school i didn't have to. I don't see there being much more a parent can do. Maybe put them into some kind of self defence class?

gemma188

Degsy, you've used this thread to express your opinion that the best way to prevent bullying is by fighting back. I have to say I now find this a bit ironic. Having since gone through many of your posts on Boards and I have to say that quite a number of them are nothing more than vile, nasty and abusive comments towards other users and certain celebrities. So do you think this form of (what I would consider) cyber-bullying is ok?

Degsy

gemma188 wrote: »

Degsy, you've used this thread to express your opinion that the best way to prevent bullying is by fighting back. I have to say I now find this a bit ironic. Having since gone through many of your posts on Boards and I have to say that quite a number of them are nothing more than vile, nasty and abusive comments towards other users and certain celebrities. So do you think this form of (what I would consider) cyber-bullying is ok?

You've lost the argument so you're reduced to post trawling?

gemma188

Degsy wrote: »

You've lost the argument so you're reduced to post trawling?

There was no argument to win or lose. In some cases fighting back can stop bully. I accept this. Often the best solution is to talk to a teacher/parent. There is no one right solution here. But you completely ignored my question. Do you not think I have a point about some of your previous posts on Boards?

Degsy

gemma188 wrote: »

. Do you not think I have a point about some of your previous posts on Boards?

They're not relevant to this discussion..if i break the charter there are mods to enforce policy.

gemma188

Degsy wrote: »

They're not relevant to this discussion..if i break the charter there are mods to enforce policy.

Apologies Mods if Im wrong but I would've thought that actually yes they are relevant to this discussion. You're giving advice here about how to deal with bullys all the while you think its ok to, for example, tell someone else to "F**k off back to your greasepit ya dirty little monkey". I dont see what satisfaction someone would get from making immature comments like this.

Degsy

gemma188 wrote: »

you think its ok to, for example, tell someone else to "F**k off back to your greasepit ya dirty little monkey". I dont see what satisfaction someone would get from making immature comments like this.

Come over here and i'll show you.

Snowie

Degsy wrote: »

The only way to defeat bullies is to make the kid stand up for his/herself..it can be hard the first time but it always works..bullies will always pick on an easy target and tbh i think kids and parents are getting softer.

Children being bullied dont need counselling..they need to be shown how to throw a punch.

Bravo fvcking Bravo

you really need an award for the dumbest most stupid post of 2012

Its a bit difficult to stand up for your seld when you out numbered 5 to 1 your on the floor getting the ****e kicked out ya...

of course your an easy target...

and there nothing you say or do especially standing up for your self.. as a kid I had enough trips to the A and E department over cultish little jip stains who like to gang up on people...


I can throw a punch to thats not the point and as kid i did fight back.. It didn't do anything i just got beat down harder and harder ....

theres only so much self confidence a person has and if you were bullied you would know understand that but clearly ya don't...
:rolleyes:

MagicSean

Snowie wrote: »

Bravo fvcking Bravo

you really need an award for the dumbest most stupid post of 2012

Its a bit difficult to stand up for your seld when you out numbered 5 to 1 your on the floor getting the ****e kicked out ya...

of course your an easy target...

and there nothing you say or do especially standing up for your self.. as a kid I had enough trips to the A and E department over cultish little jip stains who like to gang up on people...


I can throw a punch to thats not the point and as kid i did fight back.. It didn't do anything i just got beat down harder and harder ....

theres only so much self confidence a person has and if you were bullied you would know understand that but clearly ya don't...
:rolleyes:

Is it not a bit early in the year to be giving out awards?

Laisurg

Degsy wrote: »

The only way to defeat bullies is to make the kid stand up for his/herself..it can be hard the first time but it always works..bullies will always pick on an easy target and tbh i think kids and parents are getting softer.

Children being bullied dont need counselling..they need to be shown how to throw a punch.

I agree with this, I was bullied for 3 years in school by one guy and it only stopped when I got the courage to kick the shít out of him, the school didn't even care, In a lot of cases it looks like they're just too lazy to try do anything about it.

noodletop

I too was bullied for years in secondry school, i snapped one day bec my 2 younger brothers started the same school and the bully thought he could do the same to them, i got 2 weeks at home to think about what i did to "that poor young lad who wouldn't hurt a fly" as his mother told the principal.
He made my life a misery for years but got the kicking he deserved in the end
Today i live less than 5 mins from him and he always crosses the road when i meet him in the town;)

But honestly i dont think it works in some situations bec the bully learns from his/her parents and i think if proven that parents should be held accountable for the actions of their son/daughter, bet if the parents knew they could end up in jail for their kids bullying or torturing others that a lot more kids would behave themselves instead of acting like the scum they are today

Degsy

Snowie wrote: »

Bravo fvcking Bravo

you really need an award for the dumbest most stupid post of 2012

Its a bit difficult to stand up for your seld when you out numbered 5 to 1 your on the floor getting the ****e kicked out ya...

of course your an easy target...

and there nothing you say or do especially standing up for your self.. as a kid I had enough trips to the A and E department over cultish little jip stains who like to gang up on people...


I can throw a punch to thats not the point and as kid i did fight back.. It didn't do anything i just got beat down harder and harder ....

theres only so much self confidence a person has and if you were bullied you would know understand that but clearly ya don't...
:rolleyes:

What do you suggest then,hotshot?

Tombo2000

Degsy wrote: »

What do you suggest then,hotshot?

If its bullying in schools, then the school should be able to sort it out. if that means expelling the bully the so be it.

If the school wont or cant do that then the parent should take the kid out of the school.

I never once remember any school teacher talking about bullying. I never once remember any teacher trying to address the issue in a general sense; saying if you are being bullied then come to us, or if you are bullying someone then you will be punished.

I doubt its any different now.

Max Power1

Should have just manned up tbh
Fcuk taking the easy way out. Most people get some bullying in school, its part and parcel of going to school.

Tombo2000

Max Power1 wrote: »

Should have just manned up tbh
Fcuk taking the easy way out. Most people get some bullying in school, its part and parcel of going to school.

Who should have just manned up? What are you talking about.

Degsy

Tombo2000 wrote: »

If its bullying in schools, then the school should be able to sort it out. if that means expelling the bully the so be it.

If the school wont or cant do that then the parent should take the kid out of the school.

I never once remember any school teacher talking about bullying. I never once remember any teacher trying to address the issue in a general sense; saying if you are being bullied then come to us, or if you are bullying someone then you will be punished.

I doubt its any different now.

Whats wrong with instilling in the child an ability to stick up for himself?

You cant just move the kid from school to school because he's getting hassle from the other kids.

Maybe a compromise would be for the school to reward people for intervening on the bullied kid's behalf..it might encourage the stronger kids to stick up for weaks kids whilst breaking up the bully's power base.

But really,a kid will at some stage need to stick up for himself,either physically or verbally.

I was bullied a lot in secondary school, It was really tough, I was a loner so I didn't talk to anyone about it.

Never contemplated suicide though. I knew that things would change when I got to college because not everyone in college is an inbred retard like the people who went to my school.

The one thing I regret about the whole sorry situation is not grievously harming one of those pricks.


I feel sorry for that lad's family. Disgusting situation.

Tombo2000

Degsy wrote: »

Whats wrong with instilling in the child an ability to stick up for himself?

.

Nothing wrong with it all.

But there's a big step from teaching a kid to stick up for themselves to telling a kid that the only way out of this is the beat the crap out of that guy/girl/gang that is bullying you.

guitarzero

Freddie59 wrote: »

It happened in the North East of the Republic Of Ireland.

???

Snowie

Degsy wrote: »

What do you suggest then,hotshot?

well I suggest maybe you stfu and stop thinking that because your a grown up suddenly you have the fvcking answer to your own "idealistic world "
2 go talk to some people who've been bullied and ask them how there life was later on mid to late 20s.. I think you'd probably learn a thing or two.


ask them about social anxiety? and the lack of confidence to talk to people any people the trust issues what you think you know the physiological in and outs of bullying ? ...
Then theres the hole making your self look happy yet in life your just fricken miserable inside and to ashamed to show any one because the only thing you've got going on for you is pride..


Then take a week to really mull it over maybe even video so you can observe the person no verbal body laungege and really get inside...

Then see if you really do think you know what your talking about cause hell mate as far as I'm concerned you just tuck your cock out banged on the keyboard and made some sentences...

all of which were complete Bs
:rolleyes:

Degsy

Tombo2000 wrote: »

Nothing wrong with it all.

But there's a big step from teaching a kid to stick up for themselves to telling a kid that the only way out of this is the beat the crap out of that guy/girl/gang that is bullying you.

Nowhere did i say anybody has to beat the crap out of anybody..

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Degsy wrote: »

Whats wrong with instilling in the child an ability to stick up for himself?

You cant just move the kid from school to school because he's getting hassle from the other kids.

Maybe a compromise would be for the school to reward people for intervening on the bullied kid's behalf..it might encourage the stronger kids to stick up for weaks kids whilst breaking up the bully's power base.

But really,a kid will at some stage need to stick up for himself,either physically or verbally.

Kids are vulnerable, end of. It sounds like you're almost tolerating the bullying here.

Especially in the cae of psychological bullying - there are plenty of adults who suffer this in the workplace too - and promoting confidence and the ability to stick up for yourself (which I'm all for, don't get me wrong) is not going to help if, as in this case, the bully is on the other end of an internet connection.

Zero tolerance, imo.

Degsy

Snowie wrote: »

well I suggest maybe you stfu and stop thinking that because your a grown up suddenly you have the fvcking answer to your own "idealistic world "
2 go talk to some people who've been bullied and ask them how there life was later on mid to late 20s.. I think you'd probably learn a thing or two.


ask them about social anxiety? and the lack of confidence to talk to people any people the trust issues what you think you know the physiological in and outs of bullying ? ...
Then theres the hole making your self look happy yet in life your just fricken miserable inside and to ashamed to show any one because the only thing you've got going on for you is pride..


Then take a week to really mull it over maybe even video so you can observe the person no verbal body laungege and really get inside...

Then see if you really do think you know what your talking about cause hell mate as far as I'm concerned you just tuck your cock out banged on the keyboard and made some sentences...

all of which were complete Bs
:rolleyes:

I really couuldnt make too much sense of your rambling,demented rant but...

Nobody feels worse about abuse than when they didnt at least attempt to defend themselves.

A namby-pamby attitude *after* the fact isnt going to help somebody recover thier lost confidence so its far better to deal with it as it occurs and not have to live with alifetime of self-loathing and depression.

Snowie

Snowie wrote: »

go talk to some people who've been bullied and ask them how there life was later on mid to late 20s.. I think you'd probably learn a thing or two.


ask them about social anxiety? and the lack of confidence to talk to people any people the trust issues what you think you know the physiological in and outs of bullying ? ...

As I said, I was bullied pretty badly in school. I'm ok now. And actually the only thing that I get hung up on is the fact that I didn't physically damage one of the lads that bullied me.

So he is right by saying that people should stick up for themselves.

And you are wrong by casting huge aspersions about the victims of bullying.

Degsy

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

is not going to help if, as in this case, the bully is on the other end of an internet connection.

Zero tolerance, imo.

Well then report them to the website they're using to bully people..

Everything typed will leave a written record will it not?


How exactly do you impose *zero tolerance* on bullies,especially kids? Have them executed?

gemma188

Degsy wrote: »

Come over here and i'll show you.

Why can't you just answer the question here?

Degsy

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

there are plenty of adults who suffer this in the workplace too .

Workplace bullying will get you booted out of a job faster than raping the boss's wife.

Its actually at the stage where people are so skorpy that they'll accuse people of bullying when they decide not to talk to them...the new state deems it to be "passive agressive bullying" to ignore somebody.

Degsy

gemma188 wrote: »

Why can't you just answer the question here?

Because its off-topic..if you wanna step in the ring come over to TD....=>:)

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Degsy wrote: »

Workplace bullying will get you booted out of a job faster than raping the boss's wife.

... so why should it be any different in schools?

Its actually at the stage where people are so skorpy that they'll accuse people of bullying when they decide not to talk to them...the new state deems it to be "passive agressive bullying" to ignore somebody.

Are you saying the problem doesn't exist? Or are you blaming the victims?

Degsy

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

... so why should it be any different in schools??

Because in schools the principle protagonists are children..they act in a childish way...they behave,in short the way children do.

Do you see the difference?

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

... Are you saying the problem doesn't exist? Or are you blaming the victims?

I dont know what you mean...anybody using the web in work to bully another staff member will be kicked out pdq if only for thier complete and utter stupidity.

And for teh record i work in the PS and i've heard of one case of alleged bullying in 18 years and that was when two stupid women fell out over the same bloke and went to war on each other.

Max Power1

Tombo2000 wrote: »

Who should have just manned up? What are you talking about.

The 14 year old.

CBH reading through the rest of the thread - but suffice it to say that bullying is the norm and common place for most schoolgoing kids.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Degsy wrote: »

Because in schools the principle protagonists are children..they act in a childish way...they behave,in short the way children do.

Do you see the difference?

I know what your saying, and I accept that attacking the behaviour is probably more apt than attacking the child, but the protagonist should be made sure that sure behavious will not be tolerated and will have serious consequences.

I dont know what you mean...anybody using the web in work to bully another staff member will be kicked out pdq if only for thier complete and utter stupidity.

And for teh record i work in the PS and i've heard of one case of alleged bullying in 18 years and that was when two stupid women fell out over the same bloke and went to war on each other.

That was a previous analogy which I delt with in the first part of this post. My point here, was that the thread was opened after a 14 year old committed suicide following bullying on facebook. It wasn't physical.

Snowie

Degsy wrote: »

I really couuldnt make too much sense of your rambling,demented rant but...

Nobody feels worse about abuse than when they didnt at least attempt to defend themselves.

A namby-pamby attitude *after* the fact isnt going to help somebody recover thier lost confidence so its far better to deal with it as it occurs and not have to live with alifetime of self-loathing and depression.

what I'm saying is you have no basis to even form an opinion other then the fact that you are indeed "thinking" but "thinking" is not experience...

Ultimately experience leads to an enlightened sense of understanding one that you don't have.. So how can you really pass judgment over something you clearly know, nothing about?


self-loathing and depression? Aww well thats why I go to group therapy we all cry and a hug each other... But hey if you wanna come along maybe you to feel the same but you don't even no it...

GoldFour4

Max Power1 wrote: »

The 14 year old.

CBH reading through the rest of the thread - but suffice it to say that bullying is the norm and common place for most schoolgoing kids.

I think thats incredibly insensitive. You have no idea what type to bullying the 14 year old was being tormented. We have no info about his family situation or background. How can you honestly say he should have just gotten over it when you don't know the truth behind the case.

Bullying is commonplace in schools but it is not commonplace for every child to be bullied. I think a lot of posters need to learn the difference between teasing that might take place and the everyday torment that some kids go through.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Max Power1 wrote: »

The 14 year old.

CBH reading through the rest of the thread - but suffice it to say that bullying is the norm and common place for most schoolgoing kids.

Do you think that makes it acceptable?

grindle

Degsy wrote: »

How exactly do you impose *zero tolerance* on bullies,especially kids? Have them executed?

Ahhhh, we can but dream...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Degsy wrote: »

Well then report them to the website they're using to bully people..

Everything typed will leave a written record will it not?


How exactly do you impose *zero tolerance* on bullies,especially kids? Have them executed?

Since when did zero tolerance mean the death penalty...?

Jaxxy

In reality (and this opinion is based on my experience, and the experience of others I know who went through similar) the schools do very little. This attitude of "it should be reported to the school or a teacher" is a bit airy-fairy IME, and while the school should certainly be made aware of any trouble in this regard, it ultimately probably won't solve your problem. Which is disgraceful.

How matters should be handled depends solely on the child.

In my case I was bullied by a group of girls (one in particular was positively vicious) in my first year of secondary school. They made my school-life unbearable for a long time until one day I completely snapped, and broke the main protagonist's nose. I might add that their bullying was not physical (apart from the time they locked a window on my ponytail, trapping me, I suppose that can be construed as somewhat physical) but I responded to it physically. I'm not saying it's right or it's wrong, I'm saying it was the only thing that worked for me in the end. And I'm not at all sorry for it.

Other children might not have the capacity for this, and nor should they have to. In those cases counselling should absolutely be made available. Counselling might have even helped me deal with things differently back then, but I did also have the support of my parents, who were great during that time.

My point is, if one method doesn't work, try another. There is no one easy, uniform solution.