Worst insult you've got

gerryo777

Was told once that I have a face like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle!!

Another one was "you didn't get a birth cert, you got an apology off durex"

or

"when you were born you were so ugly, the doctor slapped your mother"

phoenix833

An oppostion player once shouted at me "Give that cúnt a pound so he can go buy a voucher to weight watchers"!

I'm not that fat now.

Once racing guru Ted Walsh told me "You're a thick fúcker who can't do your job properly".

My response: "We know you can do your job properly Ted"

TW: "Do you even know what my job is?"

Me: "Yeah, it's being a thick cúnt"

Attempting to insult relatively known Irish people is great fun.

paddy kerins

Where'd you get your clothes, at the toilet store?

Faith+1

I was once called a Sponge

mattjack

Heard this one shouted before..."the tide in the gene pool must have been low, when you were conceived "

Nyan Cat

It wasnt aimed at me: 2 girls chatting at a bus stop on I Connell street - in Irish.
A passing gombeen shouts 'here, f'ck off home - bloody foreigners'

Best-worst insult fail

Will I Amnt

I reckon a lot of people are telling little porky pies here.

RickRoll

cambo2008 wrote: »

I reckon a lot of people are telling little porky pies here.

You calling us liars?

Will I Amnt

RickRoll wrote: »

You calling us liars?

Yep,what you gonna do??insult me with some bullsh1t cliché??

At least I could say it really happened......

Dusty87

link_2007 wrote: »

"It's no wonder your Dad left"

mothers can be so cruel:(

maddragon

At school my economics teacher told me the only way I'll pass the exam paper was to eat it.

Best ever insult though is "I hope all your kids have small dicks and that includes the girls".

Johnny Foreigner

You are just a hole for men to unload in.

link_2007

Dusty87 wrote: »

mothers can be so cruel:(

Worse. It was my (then) girlfriend that said it.

Eve_Dublin

Some girl in primary school told me to go piss on my mother's grave about 2 months after she died. :eek: What a little bitch! That was over 20 years ago now and I still dream of my revenge....

Johnny Foreigner

You are a c*nt with a life support system.

CliffHuxtabel

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I still dream of my revenge....

Someday you will piss on her grave....the girl I mean

Trader1991

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

Stay in the bog then ya donkey fondler.

This is why I hate them

Yakult

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say your an American"

Countless-****ing-times from many different people.

Since then, I've brought the bog back into my accent.

mercenary2

in a bar one night a friend said to the bar lady id like to get in your knickers..she replied theres enough in one c..t in there..:)funny at the drunking time

ImpossibleDuck

mercenary2 wrote: »

in a bar one night a friend said to the bar lady id like to get in your knickers..she replied theres enough in one c..t in there..:)funny at the drunking time

This was tonight, wasn't it? :pac:

later12

In Greece with my girlfriend a few years back and this Irish wan walked up to us

-Excuse me, are you Irish?
-Yes...
-Ahh! We are too, we knew ye were Irish by the look of ye!

I'm not quite sure why that was quite so cutting, but standing there in the Athenian sunshine, I never felt more pale.

Sindri

Yakult wrote: »

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say your an American"

Countless-****ing-times from many different people.

Since then, I've brought the bog back into my accent.

The only thing coming out off your mouth is shite.

astonaidan

Mine would be **** off back to England you english ****, Them Aussies really dont know alot, But I did tarnish the english name a little bit more so win for me I guess

sparrowcar

The first time I took of my top in front of the old girlfriend she said "You look like Digit from Gorillas in the mist". I'm a bit hairy and back then I was conscious of it.

Now I just let da bitches plat that Sh!t :cool:

mercenary2

ImpossibleDuck wrote: »

This was tonight, wasn't it? :pac:

having had a drink in a months dont bother with it anymore

growing up getting old:mad:

BunShopVoyeur

Trader1991 wrote: »

This is why I hate them

I smell cabbage and priest semen...

Mummy why is your nose so big ?
I dunno
yeah but soooo big


mouth of babes want an honest opinion ask a kid

twirlagig

"Should you be smoking, you being pregnant and all?" - I wasn't pregnant! Oh, mortified is not the word!!!

holystungun9

you look like a sack of sh1t tied in the middle.

evolving_doors

Somewhere in an attic there's a picture of you getting more beautiful by the day!

Nice one if the person actually takes it as a compliment (might take 30 years before they learn the Dorian Gray reference)

AnamGlas

Not got, overheard: "I've seen better lookin' heads of cabbage"

Tubbs4

You face looks like a burn victim that was put out will a shovel.

Satts

I wish you could see yourself dancing, you look like a f**kin eegit.

Told to me when I was 17, never really danced much after that, probably just as well because it was probably true.

BunShopVoyeur

Satts wrote: »

I wish you could see yourself dancing, you look like a f**kin eegit.

Told to me when I was 17, never really danced much after that, probably just as well because it was probably true.

The EXACT same thing happened to me at 17. I haven't danced since............bastard.

Satts

BunShopVoyeur wrote: »

The EXACT same thing happened to me at 17. I haven't danced since............bastard.

I feel your pain.

Irelandsfinest

I was having nasty banter with someone a few years back, he said the best part of my da dribbled down my ma's asscrack, i hit him back with no the best part of my da dribbled down yer ma's chin. She said it was the best meal she had in years a spunk sandwich.

berrycherry

You shoulda been swallowed!!!!

Eggonyerface

Well the jerkstore called,and they're running out of you!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0KmTTy_MM5w

strobe

Satts wrote: »

I wish you could see yourself dancing, you look like a f**kin eegit.

Told to me when I was 17, never really danced much after that, probably just as well because it was probably true.

An English girl I was going out with once told me that when I dance I look like someone standing on hot coals and being randomly jabbed with a cattle prod.

smcelhinney

Best one Ive heard, was said about a friend of mine trying to chat up a girl completely out of his league..

Guy: Howya!
Girl: Where you from?
Guy: Wexford.
Girl: Well I only know two things that come from Wexford, strawberries and knackers, and you don't look much like a strawberry to me..

EdenHazard

some wrecked bitch told me i looked like an old man in a nightclub a while, i really think it was the worst shout ever so didnt think too much about it still tho weird

cofy

When people refer to my lack of height, I used to sometimes say "best of goods come in small parcels" - until someone said "so does poison"

garysully1986

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

Great one I heard was ' Scarleh for your granny for having your ma'

Scarlet for ur Granda for helpin her!

johnny_cash

There was a good few of us in the pub one night and the banter started one lad was after been in a car crash and had a good few scars on his face.Then one of the other guys told him he had a face like the road map of ireland.

Iluvjazzmasters

''Where'd you get that dog eh,ill bate ya,ya-ya hoor of a looking thing ya''. An Utter nutter rambling of a homeless person at me while walking my dog.Odd

Mat the trasher

Give it a minute

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/82329043/

angry kitten

Overheard
One 10 year old to another 10 year old during a slanging match:Yeah, well at least I'm not poor!

Spoonman75

When the doctor circumcised you, they threw away the wrong part.

Big Nasty

'If I wanted my own comeback I would have wiped it off your mothers chin'

treborflynn

"I think people need to get used to you".......FOOK OFF WILL YA!!!