Mobile phones.

The Princess Bride

GarIT wrote: »

Does nobody here allow their children any privacy at all? Outside of the last year none of my family have ever seen my Facebook page (or Bebo), there would have been war if they tried to look at it. I was taught well as a child so there was never any need to put any restrictions on me.

I think you make some very intelligent valid points,GarIT- I wish all teenagers were as mature.

I try my best to teach my children well.I know others who do the same.
I also know a couple who adore,spoil and trust their daughter-who has repeatedly lied,flirted and posed naked on phone- unknown to these parents.
The one thing all of us parents here have in common-the only thing for definite in fact-is that we've all been teenagers.
I know if I'd had a phone back in my teens,I wouldn't have been playing games on it,if you get my drift!

nesf wrote: »

I doubt many in here would be able to lock down an internet connection very well against a half competent, determined teen. I mean it's fairly trivial to block everything at DNS level to begin with some basic router configuring but it's equally fairly trivial to get around this if you have root access to a machine.

I agree- therefore it's easier for them to hand over said phone.

nesf

msthe80s wrote: »

I agree- therefore it's easier for them to hand over said phone.

Exactly. The problem is where you think you've got control over something but really don't.

Moonbeam

GarIT wrote: »

I suppose your right but I have two points to make, most parents don't know how to monitor the internet, they think they are doing it but they dont know the 101 other ways to communicate privately over the internet that you parents will never see. The second point is that I would find allowing an 11 year old to lie about their age to get onto a site like Facebook that says it is strictly for over 13, from past experience I know the HSE also find this negligent parenting. I'm not 100% sure but I have heard before thats it's also illegal for a parent to knowingly allow a child to lie about their age to get onto a site like facebook or bebo.

Are you still in School ? How old are you? (This is a leading question)

The age 13 rule is as a result of COPPA (http://www.coppa.org/comply.htm)

Orion

COPPA doesn't apply outside of the US. It's still just site policy over here not a legal requirement.

Moonbeam

It is where it stems from though.
Easier have the same sign up rules for every country.

BengaLover

Most kids nowadays seem to have smartphones, and my 17 yr old and 14yr old go happily off to bed with phones in hand, and spend all night on Facebook and texting nonsense like LOL to their friends. Unforortunately it takes its toll and they are both obsessively addicted to answering every text, no matter what the time, keeping their phones under their pillows or in their bras. I really dont agree with this - its not healthy and have asked them to turn off phones at night, they agree but dont do it..Now I am going to have to make them take the batteries out and hand them over til morning..

GarIT

Moonbeam wrote: »

Are you still in School ? How old are you? (This is a leading question)

The age 13 rule is as a result of COPPA (http://www.coppa.org/comply.htm)

18, 6th year.

I presume its an obvious conclusion to make but the age rule seems to be to avoid having to deal with this. My whole point though was that there is nothing like this in Ireland but the problem here is with the parents allowing the children to lie about their age. There isn't much of a reason to discuss it, parents will have their own opinions and stick to them. I feel if a site has an age limit there's a reason for it but that's just me and I'm not trying to change anyone else's mind. Would you be ok with your child lying about their age to buy cigarettes or alcohol, I doubt it and its the same principal really.

BengaLover wrote: »

Most kids nowadays seem to have smartphones, and my 17 yr old and 14yr old go happily off to bed with phones in hand, and spend all night on Facebook and texting nonsense like LOL to their friends. Unforortunately it takes its toll and they are both obsessively addicted to answering every text, no matter what the time, keeping their phones under their pillows or in their bras. I really dont agree with this - its not healthy and have asked them to turn off phones at night, they agree but dont do it..Now I am going to have to make them take the batteries out and hand them over til morning..

I don't agree with this type of censorship, I feel it will only make things worse in the long run.

Some people think that could monitor their children on the Internet but in reality they can't, I know this because I've worked in IT for the last three years. I actually specialize in Security and Forensics, I study it when I have time as well as being head of security in an IT company I worked for until I started 6th year and I wouldn't claim to be able to monitor someone on the internet. There are over 10,000 ways of communicating over the internet, its clearly possible that your child uses one of these when your not around. I believe the only way to go is education, allow your children to do what they want, but make sure they know what's not good. My advice would to be never say no, always explain why they shouldn't and the bad aspects of whatever it is and trust them to make the right decision.

If you could look over their shoulder 24-7 it would be an effictive way to monitor what goes on but in reality you just can't. Theres three things you can do. Set up your router to use Norton DNS to filter either porn on its own or porn and non family friendly sites, use K9 to block numerous catageories of sites, including keywords so if anyone says anything K9 doesnt like it will be blocked or install a keylogger and it will record a log of every button pressed on the keyboard.

Morag

No phones in the bedroom, unplugging the router and having customs scripts on the router tends to work

GarIT

Sharrow wrote: »

No phones in the bedroom, unplugging the router and having customs scripts on the router tends to work

Sounds harsh. What are the scripts for? Content filter or turning the router off or something else?

Moonbeam

GarIT wrote: »

18, 6th year.

I presume its an obvious conclusion to make but the age rule seems to be to avoid having to deal with this. My whole point though was that there is nothing like this in Ireland but the problem here is with the parents allowing the children to lie about their age. There isn't much of a reason to discuss it, parents will have their own opinions and stick to them. I feel if a site has an age limit there's a reason for it but that's just me and I'm not trying to change anyone else's mind. Would you be ok with your child lying about their age to buy cigarettes or alcohol, I doubt it and its the same principal really.



I don't agree with this type of censorship, I feel it will only make things worse in the long run.

Some people think that could monitor their children on the Internet but in reality they can't, I know this because I've worked in IT for the last three years. I actually specialize in Security and Forensics, I study it when I have time as well as being head of security in an IT company I worked for until I started 6th year and I wouldn't claim to be able to monitor someone on the internet. There are over 10,000 ways of communicating over the internet, its clearly possible that your child uses one of these when your not around. I believe the only way to go is education, allow your children to do what they want, but make sure they know what's not good. My advice would to be never say no, always explain why they shouldn't and the bad aspects of whatever it is and trust them to make the right decision.

If you could look over their shoulder 24-7 it would be an effictive way to monitor what goes on but in reality you just can't. Theres three things you can do. Set up your router to use Norton DNS to filter either porn on its own or porn and non family friendly sites, use K9 to block numerous catageories of sites, including keywords so if anyone says anything K9 doesnt like it will be blocked or install a keylogger and it will record a log of every button pressed on the keyboard.

I know a bit about the internet and a bit about filtering,lets say more then the average mammy;)
I have multiple opinions on this topic too.
I believe in educating children to be responsible internet users is the most important thing but there is only so much that you can do.
Boys will still be boys and kids will still be curious and there is alot more harmful stuff on the internet then there is on the top shelf of any magazine shop.
I think the pc should be kept in a communal area and access should be given freely with an adult around to monitor it,I don't agree with giving them free reign with laptops in their rooms and internet on their phones.
As for a lot of filtering software,it really didn't take any of us long to use ssh tunnels.
It does not work for everything but kids are way more tech savvy then we were.

Moonbeam

Sharrow wrote: »

No phones in the bedroom, unplugging the router and having customs scripts on the router tends to work

unplugging the router effects everyone in the house!!!

Could just block their mac addresses during certain hours of the day.

GarIT

Moonbeam wrote: »

I know a bit about the internet and a bit about filtering,lets say more then the average mammy;)
I have multiple opinions on this topic too.
I believe in educating children to be responsible internet users is the most important thing but there is only so much that you can do.
Boys will still be boys and kids will still be curious and there is alot more harmful stuff on the internet then there is on the top shelf of any magazine shop.
I think the pc should be kept in a communal area and access should be given freely with an adult around to monitor it,I don't agree with giving them free reign with laptops in their rooms and internet on their phones.
As for a lot of filtering software,it really didn't take any of us long to use ssh tunnels.
It does not work for everything but kids are way more tech savvy then we were.

I agree mainly, but I'm confused who are you saying is using SSH, you or the kids? Either way that shouldn't affect a keylogger or DNS on the router.

I do think at this stage every child should have a laptop, there's so much to do and learn online, it gives them a great advantage in later years.

Moonbeam

GarIT wrote: »

Moonbeam wrote: »

I know a bit about the internet and a bit about filtering,lets say more then the average mammy;)
I have multiple opinions on this topic too.
I believe in educating children to be responsible internet users is the most important thing but there is only so much that you can do.
Boys will still be boys and kids will still be curious and there is alot more harmful stuff on the internet then there is on the top shelf of any magazine shop.
I think the pc should be kept in a communal area and access should be given freely with an adult around to monitor it,I don't agree with giving them free reign with laptops in their rooms and internet on their phones.
As for a lot of filtering software,it really didn't take any of us long to use ssh tunnels.
It does not work for everything but kids are way more tech savvy then we were.

I agree mainly, but I'm confused who are you saying is using SSH, you or the kids? Either way that shouldn't affect a keylogger or DNS on the router.

I do think at this stage every child should have a laptop, there's so much to do and learn online, it gives them a great advantage in later years.

Kids are using SSH tunnels.

Morag

Yes unplugging the router effects everyone, unless you have two on your home net work
Also DSi can get on the internet or create a local network themselves with out it.
Personally I find the more obstacles I put for them to climb over the more the learn which is a good thing.

BostonB

How can a DSI get on the net without a router or local network?

BengaLover

Goodness me, how on earth did WE all get by in days of yore!:D
We didnt have phones or internet but still managed to mitch off school, meet up for 'shiftin' and sneak out and do all teen stuff that they do today..

nesf

Moonbeam wrote: »

Could just block their mac addresses during certain hours of the day.

So your goal is to teach them how to spoof MAC addresses?

I swear all this is just going to create a generation of hackers!

BengaLover

Why not turn off 'tinternet at night via the modem? Makes it harder for you to use it yourself tho.

nesf

BengaLover wrote: »

Why not turn off 'tinternet at night via the modem? Makes it harder for you to use it yourself tho.

Screw that. I'd just take phones and laptops off them at night if I wanted to stop them going online.

Morag

BostonB wrote: »

How can a DSI get on the net without a router or local network?

It can't get on the net but they can create their own WAN, that is how you can have a chat room or play a game with someone else with a DS on a bus. Or in the case of my two brats continue a row over it while they were sent to their rooms.

BengaLover

I had a text message the other night, 'whats for dinner'... she was UPSTAIRS!

BostonB

Sharrow wrote: »

It can't get on the net but they can create their own WAN, that is how you can have a chat room or play a game with someone else with a DS on a bus. Or in the case of my two brats continue a row over it while they were sent to their rooms.

I was wondering. The DSi is another thing thats gets confiscated in our house. If I find the charger lying around I hide it for a few days. If they can't be tidy....

jay93

grindelwald wrote: »

My daughter being 12 doesnt get too much privacy, i read her facebook and her texts. When she is 15 that will change. Im looking out for her at 12 because she doesnt know its a big bad world out there.

Reading her Facebook and texts helps with preparing her for the ''big bad world''

Kids won't learn by keeping them from whats out in the world they will learn from their mistakes in the world ,

Fair enough you want your kid to be safe but thinking that facebook and texting is dangerous for kids?
The world is changing and technology is a big part of it now people really have to stop restricting their kids from the world it turns out worse for the kids when they grow up they want to grow and learn not be smothered.

cynder

jay93 wrote: »

grindelwald wrote: »

My daughter being 12 doesnt get too much privacy, i read her facebook and her texts. When she is 15 that will change. Im looking out for her at 12 because she doesnt know its a big bad world out there.

Reading her Facebook and texts helps with preparing her for the ''big bad world''

Kids won't learn by keeping them from whats out in the world they will learn from their mistakes in the world ,

Fair enough you want your kid to be safe but thinking that facebook and texting is dangerous for kids?
The world is changing and technology is a big part of it now people really have to stop restricting their kids from the world it turns out worse for the kids when they grow up they want to grow and learn not be smothered.

Suppose you didn't see the but where I had my daughter's pic as my facebook profile picture and I got a private message if a guy in his 20s wanting to meet up with me because I was hot, only it wasn't me it was my 12 year old.

You think I want my 12 year old getting messages like that? let her make the mistake of meeting up with him? So what she can learn it's a bad idea to meet up with grown men?

Also that she was bullied by 3 girls, called slut, lesbian, fat ugly bitch. No kid needs to deal with that on their own especially at 12.

Being only 12 I'm not throwing her to the wolves. I'm preparing her to deal with them on her own, when she is old enough and mature enough, until then I'll read her facebook and texts, and if anything comes up we talk about it.

She got a text at 4 am the other morning from 2 boys in her class, they think she is cute. I didn't read the text she told me about it, she was chuffed that the boys thought she was cute. She is very open and we talk a lot, and she likes talking about boys.

cbyrd

jay93 wrote: »

Reading her Facebook and texts helps with preparing her for the ''big bad world''

Kids won't learn by keeping them from whats out in the world they will learn from their mistakes in the world ,

Fair enough you want your kid to be safe but thinking that facebook and texting is dangerous for kids?
The world is changing and technology is a big part of it now people really have to stop restricting their kids from the world it turns out worse for the kids when they grow up they want to grow and learn not be smothered.

Have you had to deal with the fall out of internet/mobile phone bullying?? Only when you see how kids are capable of hurting one another, the internet and moblie phone anonymity makes it easier.

There's no way i would allow my 12 year old into a largely adult world and not supervise her, it would be hugely negligent on my part as a mother not to equip her with the tools of safely navigating her way around. Just as i held her hand when she was smaller and we went walking down the street, now i no longer have to as i know i can trust her not to run out in front of a car. I locked doors to keep her out of certain harms way, now i keep check on what she both sends and receives.

If my child was bullying another i'd want to know so i could put a stop to it.,after all, it's not something she'd tell me about. She's aware that i check her phone and facebook, she doesn't have a problem with it. Always better to be safe than sorry

Daisy M

jay93 wrote: »

Reading her Facebook and texts helps with preparing her for the ''big bad world''

Kids won't learn by keeping them from whats out in the world they will learn from their mistakes in the world ,

Fair enough you want your kid to be safe but thinking that facebook and texting is dangerous for kids?
The world is changing and technology is a big part of it now people really have to stop restricting their kids from the world it turns out worse for the kids when they grow up they want to grow and learn not be smothered.

Have you never heard of cyber bullying or internet grooming? Teenagers like to think they know it all but sadly they dont, most will realise when they are adults that their parents were right about most things.

tinyk68

I think the key is to be open with your kids and not have secrets. My 13 year old niece wasn't allowed on facebook so she got a friend to set it up for her on her phone and her parents found explicit messages on it between her and an 18 year old boy! He described in detail what he'd like to do with her and it sent them into a complete panic. They confiscated her phone and now she just doesn't tell them anything.
My daughter, who's 16 has no interest in facebook and only texts when she needs to make arrangements to meet up with friends because she has to buy her own credit. Makes her think twice about how much she uses;) My 13 year old son is on facebook but was only given permission if he accepted me as a friend which he has done. He only really uses it for games and to be honest, he's far more interested in xbox live than facebook. I think if they feel they can tell you things without being judged they'll let you know most of what's happening in their lives. It's working for us so far anyway:rolleyes:

eviltwin

I use the DS for the internet when the laptop is busy. It works off the wifi. Operates much the same way as mobile internet.

BostonB

eviltwin wrote: »

I use the DS for the internet when the laptop is busy. It works off the wifi. Operates much the same way as mobile internet.

I assume you mean it works the same as a mobile browser on a phone. Mobile internet is a different thing entirely.

eviltwin

BostonB wrote: »

I assume you mean it works the same as a mobile browser on a phone. Mobile internet is a different thing entirely.

Yeah I guess so, I'm not tech savvy. Just know that the links look as they do on a mobile phone.