Those little tips and tricks that make life that little bit easier.

keano_afc

Cant get up to the north coast?

Recreate the Northern Lights in your sitting room by simply lighting your dog's farts.

cloptrop

If you think someone is an asshole thank their post. Itll make them go away.

keano_afc

Ensure you'll always have a contribution to top tips threads on boards.ie by buying Viz once a month.

fluff_daddy

After exercising/running/football wear your gear when taking a shower

cloptrop

Dont beat your wife twice in one week, she will leave you.

BrensBenz

So much advice here about laundry and yet, not the most useful tip, i.e. throw suspect laundry at the wall. If it sticks, wait a few days for all traces of moisture to evaporate. Then retest. Only wear laundry which passed this test. I call it the “Irish Referendum / Re-referendum Test”.

Time saving tip gleaned from several female colleagues:

• Don’t waste time with soap in the morning - just spray on MORE deodorant.
• Don’t waste time with soap when going out for the night - just spray on MORE perfume.

Time saving tip gleaned from several French females:

• Don’t waste time with soap.

Time saving tip gleaned from several male colleagues:

• What’s soap?
• Don’t waste time cleaning shoes - just buy multi-coloured trainers.
• Don’t waste time brushing teeth - just swish with first pint.

fluff_daddy

Water down your fairy liquid - no one needs that much suds

later12

On the evening before you spend a Friday or Saturday night on the lash, clean your house/ apartment, make your lunch and breakfast for the next day, and leave a recovery pack (chocolate, lucozade, painkillers) on your bedside locker.

That way, when you get up, your house is clean and stress-free and your lunch has been made, and everything is as hassle free as possible.

Also, on nights out you should always keep a €20 stashed somewhere on your person,but not in your wallet. That way, if you lose your wallet, you can still take a taxi home.

Also, put your house key on an old shoelace or some manner of chain, and tie it around you neck. The easiest way to lose your house-keys is by placing them in your pocket, and have them fall out when you stand up from where you've been sitting.

MayoForSam

later10 wrote: »

Also, put your house key on an old shoelace or some manner of chain, and tie it around you neck. The easiest way to lose your house-keys is by placing them in your pocket, and have them fall out when you stand up from where you've been sitting.

Plus the shoelace might come in handy if you get lucky and want to try a spot of auto-erotic asphyxiation.

seXmym0nkey

later10 wrote: »

... leave a recovery pack (chocolate, lucozade, painkillers) on your bedside locker.

Ah yes! I used to leave a hangover platter beside my bed when I came home drunk. Usualy painkillers water and fruit!

You should also neck a couple of pints of water when you get home but make sure to take a nice long piss before bed! This will reduce your hangover the next morning, but you'll still have to suffer a bit...

jpm4

Snack sized mars bars make great normal sized mars bars for dwarves.

Blisterman

It's easier to sharpen a worm in a pencil sharpener if you freeze it first.

Salt001

Lads never mistake your wardrobe for a toilet when you are in a hoop

flanum

Save time when crossing the road by only looking one way!

cloptrop

Make your own perfectly shaped bum dildos by frezing your poo.

kincsem

If you are going away for a few days fill your bath with water, and put in a cup of washing powder.
When you come back you will have a clean bath (and dirty water.)

OK, make sure you have a bath with an overflow so that a dripping tap does not flood the house.

Mauricmo

Blisterman wrote: »

It's easier to sharpen a worm in a pencil sharpener if you freeze it first.

Pro-tip

micropig

later10 wrote: »

On the evening before you spend a Friday or Saturday night on the lash, clean your house/ apartment, make your lunch and breakfast for the next day, and leave a recovery pack (chocolate, lucozade, painkillers) on your bedside locker.

That way, when you get up, your house is clean and stress-free and your lunch has been made, and everything is as hassle free as possible.

Make a big pot of stew before going out-Good before and/or after a few beers and even better the next day!!

castletownman

When going out on the beer, remember one thing kids: Eating is cheating.

Balmed Out

If your out of shampoo / conditioner and have something on you need to be presentable then use use an egg instead.

Banana sandwiches are really good and simple to make. Peel a banana and wrap a slice of bread around it, if your feeling fancy and want a banana roll then when cutting the roll leave one end uncut to keep the banana firmly in place.

Bannana rolls are a really cheap and readily available breakfast when travelling.

Be wide of unusually big bananas they may be plantains which are really hard and need to be cooked.

If your out of polish use the inside of a banana skin instead and wipe with a cloth afterwards.

44leto

The internet does not only contain porn, there are other things online as well, I only found that out.

Chuck Stone

later10 wrote: »

On the evening before you spend a Friday or Saturday night on the lash, clean your house/ apartment, make your lunch and breakfast for the next day, and leave a recovery pack (chocolate, lucozade, painkillers) on your bedside locker.

That way, when you get up, your house is clean and stress-free and your lunch has been made, and everything is as hassle free as possible.

Also, on nights out you should always keep a €20 stashed somewhere on your person,but not in your wallet. That way, if you lose your wallet, you can still take a taxi home.

Also, put your house key on an old shoelace or some manner of chain, and tie it around you neck. The easiest way to lose your house-keys is by placing them in your pocket, and have them fall out when you stand up from where you've been sitting.

I keep returning to this because it might just be the best advice given out on the interweb ever of all time.

I was hoovering with a hangover yesterday and I hated myself a wee bit because I didn't subsume this wisdom.

I applaud you Sir.

kfallon

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I keep returning to this because it might just be the best advice given out on the interweb ever of all time.

I was hoovering with a hangover yesterday and I hated myself a wee bit because I didn't subsume this wisdom.

I applaud you Sir.

Why were you hoovering with a hangover?

I mean just cos you go on a night out doesn't mean your gaff automatically gets dirty. Could you not have waited til the hangover was gone to clean up?

Chuck Stone

kfallon wrote: »

Why were you hoovering with a hangover?

I mean just cos you go on a night out doesn't mean your gaff automatically gets dirty. Could you not have waited til the hangover was gone to clean up?

I don't know.

Please leave me with my stupidity.

I don't know :''''(

kfallon

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I don't know.

Please leave me with my stupidity.

I don't know :''''(

It's ok, just get it all out trout, you'll feel better after that big cry

admiralofthefleet

if your babysitting tell the kids tomorrow is christmas in order to make them go to bed

let their parents deal with the fallout

kfallon

Turn your socks and jocks inside out on the second day to halve your 'smalls' wash

Chuck Stone

kfallon wrote: »

It's ok, just get it all out trout, you'll feel better after that big cry

Thanks friend.

Kamjana

Put petrol in your car when its cold out

BOHtox

Eat 1/2 portions! That way you can eat twice as many meals

Chuck Stone

When you go for a day out with your missus make a clear plan where you're going to eat before you get hungry.

Hungry people are often cranky, have difficulty making good decisions and in the confines of a car a hungry Mr and Mrs could well go thermonuclear on each other.

Jesus Wept

Chuck Stone wrote: »

When you go for a day out with your missus make a clear plan where you're going to eat before you get hungry.

Hungry people are often cranky, have difficulty making good decisions and in the confines of a car a hungry Mr and Mrs could well go thermonuclear on each other.

We call it the h-anger in my house. Hungy/anger.

Lanaier

Recently learned:

If you have a really bad toothache (like I had a couple of weeks ago) thinly slice some ginger root and apply it to the tooth...chewing very softly if possible.
Surprisingly effective.

Headache tablets are often not effective for toothaches.

Handy tip if it's 4AM and the dentist is 2 days away.

Lanaier

Lanaier wrote: »

.

Handy tip if it's 4AM and the dentist is 2 days away.

:eek:
Where do you live? Malawi?

Lanaier

Deleted User wrote: »

:eek:
Where do you live? Malawi?

lol I meant the appointment

Ted_YNWA

Blisterman wrote: »

Save wear and tear on your forks when eating spaghetti by tieing the ends of each strand together and eating it in one long suck.

how good are your sucking skills ?

Blisterman

I can eat peas through a straw.

Chuck Stone

When on a long drive and feeling hungry don't pull in at the closest petrol station/café - drive a couple of miles off the main road to a small town and try a café there.

Off road cafés don't have the 'hungry monster' road business so need their customers to come back which means that the food is often of a far greater quality.

Warper

After having a shower/bath always throw cold water on your face immediately after getting out as it loosens all the pores on your face after the hot water - keeps you looking young

Ormus

If you're being attacked by a shark, curl up into a ball. Shark's slanty faces make it very hard for them to bite round objects.

If the shark persists, punch it in the nose.

Deus Ex Machina

Don't, just don't, drink instant coffee. It takes a few minutes longer to make it with a French press but it's a zillion times more flavoursome.

Big Nasty

After eating museli wash the bowl straight away. Any longer than ten minutes and the remnants attach themselves to the bowl as if with heavy duty superglue.

FTGFOP

MCMLXXV wrote: »

After eating museli wash the bowl straight away. Any longer than ten minutes and the remnants attach themselves to the bowl as if with heavy duty superglue.

Reckon you could probably use Weetabix as bricks in a drier country. Just a dab of water in between each one for mortar.

Weetabrix®

Warper wrote: »

After having a shower/bath always throw cold water on your face immediately after getting out as it loosens tightens all the pores on your face after the hot water - keeps you looking young

fyp. Even then I'm doubtful.

Ormus

Warper wrote: »

After having a shower/bath always throw cold water on your face immediately after getting out as it loosens closes all the pores on your face after the hot water - keeps you looking young

FYP

keano_afc

Save money on phone sex lines by ringing the Samaritans and telling them you'll kill yourself unless they talk dirty.

FTGFOP

Ormus wrote: »

FYP

Omg, are we pedanto-twins?! We need to figure out how to monetize this!

link_2007

Never waste an erection or trust a fart.

yeppydeppy

Using proper english could enrich your life, help you when starting a business and assist in making profit.

Ormus

FTGFOP wrote: »

Omg, are we pedanto-twins?! We need to figure out how to monetize this!

It's not self-monetizing?

FTGFOP

Ormus wrote: »

It's not self-monetizing?

Do you have our money?