Those little tips and tricks that make life that little bit easier.

forfuxsake

TEMPLAR KNIGHT wrote: »

2 in the pink and 1 in the stink......

So 2011, three in the goo and two in the poo!

madwidow

cry more, you'll pee less

Kev.OC

madwidow wrote: »

cry more, you'll pee less

So does that mean that someone who often wakes up during the night to pee, if they cry themselves to sleep, they won't wake up in the middle of the night needing to use the jacks?

madwidow

Kev.OC wrote: »

So does that mean that someone who often wakes up during the night to pee, if they cry themselves to sleep, they won't wake up in the middle of the night needing to use the jacks?

in theory, anyone up for testing it thought ?

YoureSoVain

A few weeks before Christmas or a family members birthday you should develope a very "sensitive" personality. You can be easily hurt or offended by things people say and fall out with them over it. Once Christmas/birthday has passed you can talk to them again. This way you save yourself money by not buying them a present

veryangryman

Sorry to bump but these are class. Any fresh ones you know?

donegal_road

I vaguely remember posting this before, although it might not have been on this thread.

Once when I was stuck, I refilled an inkjet colour cartridge using food colouring, and it worked.

mauzo

MUSIC LOVERS. Make sure to butter the non reflective side of your CDs so that if you drop it, it lands butter side down, thus preventing any scratches to the mirror side.

kraggy

Have the breakfast last thing at night.

Saves time in the morning.

mauzo

HUSBANDS. Cheer yourself up by watching your wedding video in reverse. You'll love the bit where you give her back the ring, walk back up the aisle, get into a car and f*ck off.

mauzo

MEN. CAN'T get a blow job? Simply strip bollock naked, plonk yourself arse-first into an empty dustbin, and you should be able to do it yourself. Use a pile of tyres instead of a dustbin if you require deep throat.

podgemonster

Instead of buying expenive popcorn at a cinema simply bring in a salt shaker and a sheet of cradboard. Sprinkle salk on cardboard and lick occasionally to get that lovely taste.

Sick of people stealing your pringles? Place a loading mousetap inside the tube.

Mothers: Finding it difficult to choose Godparents for your newborn, save time and stress by simply getting your partner to pull out on time and blowing his load on the floor.

mauzo

COMMUTERS. When you leave your house, sprint the first 200 yards and then revert back to your regular walking speed. This will save you from having to do the run of shame for the bus nearer the stop and look like a fool when you miss it.

Laika1986

Store sausages in your shirt pocket,that way you can snack on them any time without getting your fingers greasy.

Latchy

To save having to go up and down all the time ,stack your washed and dried clothes on the stairs and take them up when going to bed .Do this with other items that need to be stored or put away upstairs ...it saves on the legs .

csi vegas

MCMLXXV wrote: »

After eating museli wash the bowl straight away. Any longer than ten minutes and the remnants attach themselves to the bowl as if with heavy duty superglue.

Yes and bread - why when it's toasted do the crumbs become (good name for a book that!) stuck fast to the plate not so appetising when you consider they must also stick to your gut, those little balls of dough...lodged and expanding in the belly, causing aches and bloating...
I love it and hate it in equal measures - bread is bad.

FishBowel

Want to hear a band's best songs but don't want to splash out on several CDs? Buy their 'Greatest Hits' album!

Knex*

syndeyfife wrote: »

HUSBANDS. Cheer yourself up by watching your wedding video in reverse. You'll love the bit where you give her back the ring, walk back up the aisle, get into a car and f*ck off.

Kevin Bloody Wilson?

Mr.Crinklewood

syndeyfife wrote: »

MEN. CAN'T get a blow job? Simply strip bollock naked, plonk yourself arse-first into an empty dustbin, and you should be able to do it yourself. Use a pile of tyres instead of a dustbin if you require deep throat.

Unfortunately where i live dustbins have been replaced with wheelie bins. The diameter of these is much bigger, therefore leads to you simply kneeing yourself in the head, finding yourself stuck in the bottom of the bin, then having to make the bin fall over in order to get out of the bin. Is is pretty difficult to knock a bin over from the inside, it is also hard to explain to the girlfriends granny what you were doing when she found you crawling semi-naked out of a wheelie bin.

..even harder to explain to the girlfriend why you have false teeth hanging from your pubes..

Muckit

chin_grin wrote: »

You've never heard of the mini van then?

Ah lad I'm cryin' laughin' here!! :D:D

FishBowel

When eating berries it's healthier to eat more than one kind at the same time. Read that in today's Irish daily mail!

Cienciano

Twop Twips on twitter is brilliant:

CONVINCE people that your jumper is a cardigan by gluing buttons or a zip on the front

TRYING to save money? Avoid writing numbers like 8 and 4 as they use a lot of ink. 1 and 7 are much more ink efficient.

TURN a quiet country lane into the busiest road in Britain by attempting to have a piss against a hedge alongside it.

Triangular

Next time you're getting petrol, count all the coins you want rid of form your pocket and or ashtray and put that extra amount into the car.

Similarily, if you have loads of coins you want rid of, use them in a supermarket with a self service till and empty your coins in and have them counted in seconds an paying for stuff in the meantime.

cashback

You know when both plies/layers of toilet paper are at a different length? Annoying eh?
Don't chuck that roll out the window, simply unwind the outer ply and it will match the inner one.

That's probably common knowledge but it was a revelation to me as I sat on the toilet one day.

FishBowel

When in Argos use the computers there to search their catalogue as they have more items for sale than the books.

bnt

I get cold feet at night, but I don't like wearing socks in bed unless I really have to. So I've developed a little trick: fold the bottom of the duvet under my feet, so I have duvet above and below my feet and cold air doesn't get in. Just right.

MaroonAndGreen

get sky plus

FanadMan

Open your pay packet a day later each week so when it comes to the seventh week, you'll have two pay packets.....

Cienciano

More viz:


ALWAYS carry a jellyfish with you to neutralise any splashback at the urinals.

DRIVERS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

CAR THIEVES: Don't be discouraged if nothing is on view. The valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

A POST-IT Note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal way to foil lip-readers.

HORSE whisperers: Speak louder. The animals will hear you more clearly, thus speeding up training times.

IrishExpat

Little gem I learned today.

Hate cutting onions and tearing up? Slosh water around in your mouth while cutting, even with your eyes wide open and it stops it somehow.

Same goes for bread, just chew away while cutting and it won´t affect you.

:pac:

wonton

syndeyfife wrote: »

COMMUTERS. When you leave your house, sprint the first 200 yards and then revert back to your regular walking speed. This will save you from having to do the run of shame for the bus nearer the stop and look like a fool when you miss it.

I usually keep running if that happens and just pretend im out for a jog.

Colmustard

For those with smart phones, you can tether the phone to your computer and use your phone as your internet provider. The speed is quite decent as well. So for those strapped for cash and who don't like using the Inet on their phone you could get rid of your home BB connection and just use your phone with your comp.

But be careful about your contract, I have I thing 5 gigs of data a month, that is more then enough for me.

admiralofthefleet

Spice up a boring salad by replacing the vegetables with bacon and placing it between 2 slices of bread.

Make watching paint dry more interesting by painting some lovely big tits

WoollyRedHat

Feeling hungry? Just pop down to your nearest Dunnes and scope the free samples. No free Samples, no worries, go to the food counter and request that you taste the product you wish to order, to assess whether you like it first only to make a dislikeable expression when you taste it. Proceed multiple times, in different places if neccesary until full. Also, Pancake day needn't be costly, just do the above, they usually give free samples.



Warning to above: May not work on chicken, excellent on cheeses and sauces.

Get yourself that expensive "gravel driveway" feel at a fraction of the cost simply by pushing rice crispies between the threads of your car tyres.

SteffingHell

cloptrop wrote: »

Make your own perfectly shaped bum dildos by frezing your poo.

Cackling away to myself right now hahahahaha

TEMPLAR KNIGHT

Always check the date started on a thread..

penzo

An empty shoe box makes a great mini laptop side table when you're lying in bed.

put a clock in the bathroom, one of the main reason people are late is cos they don't know the time in there.

nail clippers are great for getting rid of hangnails ( the annoying skin that sticks up beside the nail sometimes)

If eating a cola/wham/roy of the rover bar, pull the flap at the back to unstick it from the wrapper and the bar will be free to eat from start to finish. (works most of the time).

cut the thumb slot off your glove so you can use your ipod/smart phone, you might look less fabulous but it's worth it, plus you can scratch an itch if you need to.

Hide a toilet roll somewhere in the jacks for them rare times when the main roll was empty but you shat without looking.

Take pics of bus timetables and other things you often need to know with your phone.

have a favourite song that has a really annoying or silent intro? get rid of that **** with http://mp3cut.net/

shorten the unnecessary length of your ipod/phone chargers/head phones with elastic bands/cable ties/selotape

Valetta

An empty shoe box makes a great mini laptop side table when you're lying in bed.

Same thing with a full box.

put a clock in the bathroom, one of the main reason people are late is cos they don't know the time in there.

It's the same time as in the bedroom?

nail clippers are great for getting rid of hangnails ( the annoying skin that sticks up beside the nail sometimes)

That's cute (icle)

If eating a cola/wham/roy of the rover bar, pull the flap at the back to unstick it from the wrapper and the bar will be free to eat from start to finish. (works most of the time).

Bars are never free to eat. All must be paid for at some stage.

cut the thumb slot off your glove so you can use your ipod/smart phone, you might look less fabulous but it's worth it, plus you can scratch an itch if you need to.

I believe there are special gloves on the market that get around the necessity for this ridiculous suggestion.

Hide a toilet roll somewhere in the jacks for them rare times when the main roll was empty but you shat without looking.

So you're sitting on the pot with a sh*tty arse and the only available bog roll is the far side of the bathroon hidden in the back of a press. Good luck with that.

Take pics of bus timetables and other things you often need to know with your phone.

DublinBus App.

have a favourite song that has a really annoying or silent intro? get rid of that **** with http://mp3cut.net/

How can a song have a silent intro?

shorten the unnecessary length of your ipod/phone chargers/head phones with elastic bands/cable ties/selotape

Grow up.

mikom

Valetta wrote: »

Take pics of bus timetables and other things you often need to know with your phone.

DublinBus App.

Dublin ≠ Ireland........... or Malta for that matter.

repsol

mikom wrote: »

Dublin ≠ Ireland........... or Malta for that matter.

Avoid expensive legal costs by not leaving naked photos of your wifes' sister on your phone where she can find them.This is also a great way of saving on rent for a second home

smash

repsol wrote: »

Avoid expensive legal costs by not leaving naked photos of your wifes' sister on your phone where she can find them.

Send them to me, I'll mind them for you!

Peace

I used to get really anooyed by blue bottles bouncing off the inside of the windows of my house.

I removed the windows and problem solved.

Praetorian Saighdiuir

No loo roll when out about the town? wear an extra pair of socks.

Rasheed

Valetta wrote: »

An empty shoe box makes a great mini laptop side table when you're lying in bed.

Same thing with a full box.

put a clock in the bathroom, one of the main reason people are late is cos they don't know the time in there.

It's the same time as in the bedroom?

nail clippers are great for getting rid of hangnails ( the annoying skin that sticks up beside the nail sometimes)

That's cute (icle)

If eating a cola/wham/roy of the rover bar, pull the flap at the back to unstick it from the wrapper and the bar will be free to eat from start to finish. (works most of the time).

Bars are never free to eat. All must be paid for at some stage.

cut the thumb slot off your glove so you can use your ipod/smart phone, you might look less fabulous but it's worth it, plus you can scratch an itch if you need to.

I believe there are special gloves on the market that get around the necessity for this ridiculous suggestion.

Hide a toilet roll somewhere in the jacks for them rare times when the main roll was empty but you shat without looking.

So you're sitting on the pot with a sh*tty arse and the only available bog roll is the far side of the bathroon hidden in the back of a press. Good luck with that.

Take pics of bus timetables and other things you often need to know with your phone.

DublinBus App.

have a favourite song that has a really annoying or silent intro? get rid of that **** with http://mp3cut.net/

How can a song have a silent intro?

shorten the unnecessary length of your ipod/phone chargers/head phones with elastic bands/cable ties/selotape

Grow up.

Jesus, who ate your cake? He was only giving a few tips!

Jay D

Colmustard wrote: »

For those with smart phones, you can tether the phone to your computer and use your phone as your internet provider. The speed is quite decent as well. So for those strapped for cash and who don't like using the Inet on their phone you could get rid of your home BB connection and just use your phone with your comp.

But be careful about your contract, I have I thing 5 gigs of data a month, that is more then enough for me.

I know this is a few months old but good thread all the same i remember it starting
On the tethering though I was charged some €15 or something for a few minutes in September 2011. First and only time I done it, ripping cúnts. That was with O2 by the way.

DainBramage

vets, use rashers or streaky bacon to perform minor skin grafts on pigs.

SteffingHell

TEMPLAR KNIGHT wrote: »

Always check the date started on a thread..

I didn't realise I wasn't allowed find things funny unless they were posted recently...

admiralofthefleet

Parents, out of Christmas wrapping paper? Simply convert birthday wrapping paper by adding "Jesus" after "Happy Birthday"

Ava_e

To prepare perfect sprouts this Christmas. Peel top and tail, steam gently for five minutes, sauté in garlic and pancetta. Carefully place in bin.