Varied parenting based on gender??

KittyeeTrix

I'm just curious to see if the other parents of teens here have different approaches to parenting their male teenagers compared to their female teenagers??

I know for a fact already that I will struggle to maintain the same parenting approach with my daughter compared to my son??

Victor

Personalities vary, so parenting will also have to vary.

KittyeeTrix

Victor wrote: »

Personalities vary, so parenting will also have to vary.

Your right there Victor, it's actually not something I had thought about.:)

Morag

I think the differences in how people think young men and young women should behave becomes a part of it and the gendered double standards start to come in play.

Abi

Victor wrote: »

Personalities vary, so parenting will also have to vary.

This, and the maturity of the teenager. Some can be more responsible, and serious about their education etc., others not so much.

It really does depend on the individual teen, but I think it's really important that during these years parents keep a very watchful eye over the company their sons / daughters keep. A change in friends can be a good thing, or a bad thing.

KittyeeTrix

I suppose what I'm really meaning is that my 17 year old son (18 in May) has had his girlfriend stay over twice at our house. I know they are protected and so I don't mind them sharing the room together.

I'll be honest though and say that I'm not sure if I will treat my now 13 yr old daughter in the same manner when she reaches that age.
I'm really not sure at this point but as another poster said I suppose it will depend on her level of maturity and also on our relationship (ie, are we able to talk to the point that I know she is protected)

Would ye be the same (even though I know it is being hypocritical!!)??

cynder

Would you not visit the gps with her and put her on the pill?

I think its human nature to want to protect daughters more than sons. After all they are the ones left holding the baby. I'll cross that bridge if we ever come to it, i have no idea how i would react to her asking for her boyfriend to say over at 17.

You might not even have to worry about it, she might not have a boyfriend at that age!

KittyeeTrix

grindelwald wrote: »

Would you not visit the gps with her and put her on the pill?

I think its human nature to want to protect daughters more than sons. After all they are the ones left holding the baby. I'll cross that bridge if we ever come to it, i have no idea how i would react to her asking for her boyfriend to say over at 17.

You might not even have to worry about it, she might not have a boyfriend at that age!

I've no problem at all taking her to my GP when and if the time arises as I feel that we will be close enough to be able to communicate these things to each other when the time arises.

My question is more to do with the theory of inequality I suppose faced by young teenage girls versus their teenage male counterparts!

Morag

Well a lot of goes back to biology, daughters can end up pregnant and sons can't.
A daughter is more likely statistically to be raped/sexually assaulted then a son.
Those things colour our worries and fears for our kids.

cynder

Sharrow wrote: »

Well a lot of goes back to biology, daughters can end up pregnant and sons can't.
A daughter is more likely statistically to be raped/sexually assaulted then a son.
Those things colour our worries and fears for our kids.

Also if a guy gas sex his a legend, if it's a girl she is a slapper.

cbyrd

fluffyorganic1 wrote: »

I suppose what I'm really meaning is that my 17 year old son (18 in May) has had his girlfriend stay over twice at our house. I know they are protected and so I don't mind them sharing the room together.

I'll be honest though and say that I'm not sure if I will treat my now 13 yr old daughter in the same manner when she reaches that age.
I'm really not sure at this point but as another poster said I suppose it will depend on her level of maturity and also on our relationship (ie, are we able to talk to the point that I know she is protected)

Would ye be the same (even though I know it is being hypocritical!!)??

I suppose another way to look at it is if she is in a relationship and you know at 17/18 she's probably sexually active, would it not be better to know she's safe in your house rather than in an alley or the back of a car?

We all know the things that we got up to as teens, chances are, it would take the 'danger' element out of it and if she sees she's being treated responsibly, may act more so. Of course, i wouldn't allow one night stands or fleeting boyfriends, it would have to be a fairly stable relationship, but respect goes both ways.

My eldest is 13 in 2 weeks and it is something that has come up in conversation with my husband. We're thinking along the same lines thank god but rules would be handed out and would have to be stuck to, not unlike now where privileges can be taken away..;) its a minefield