Forget childbirth...

bfocusd

I've experienced almost all those supposedly painful things, except the ones with willies and they are just about on the level of What we go through every month!

No kids so I cannot comment on that pain level, but know quite a few girls who were too late for an epidural and had their arse stitched back together after tearing from the birth?

Has any lad online had his nutsack tore opened and stitched back together without any numbing meds? If so that's childbirth

(I no a guy it happened to, he was about 13, tried climbing over 6ft high fence slipped and spike went through and cracked his pelvis bone, was there about 30 mins, firemen had to cut the fence to get him off.. Im sure he's glad he doesn't have to deal with that ever again!)

Capt'n Midnight

[points to a scar on chest]

Mary Ellen Moffat.

She broke my heart.

starbelgrade

Johro wrote: »

A sheet of paper? A4 or A3?

A0 would be the worst.

Johro

starbelgrade wrote: »

A0 would be the worst.

A0 would cut it in half.

starbelgrade

Johro wrote: »

A0 would cut it in half.

It'd leave it like a split banana.

Johro

starbelgrade wrote: »

It'd leave it like a split banana.

You can picture it can't ya? You'd have to be held down, nobody's gonna stand for the edge of a sheet of A0 paper being dragged across their knob.
I may need a lie down. Feel faint.

stupidusername

bfocusd wrote: »

No kids so I cannot comment on that pain level, but know quite a few girls who were too late for an epidural and had their arse stitched back together after tearing from the birth?

christ almighty what a ****ing way to put it

LETHAL LADY

Forget childbirth, sorry I cannot.:eek:

cofy

Arpa wrote: »

You're just like action man mate. "I don't go to hospital until the day afterwards". That doesn't make you hard, just a bit slow. Out there in Oz breaking up your body but not givin a sh*t. Doin' us proud. It's grand though, cus I have a job here.

Everyone has broken something or other in their lifetime, but I was talking about those annoying little things like when you get your pubes caught in your foreskin when you move, or paper cuts..or standing on a nail. Keep up.

I once had a sprained wrist for 6 weeks before I went to the doctor. To me it was just an annoying pain, ended up with a hand brace for a good while.

cofy

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Forget childbirth, sorry I cannot.:eek:

Was this your first child? Are you planning on having any more. One girl in my ward, just hours after having her first baby, asked how long before she could get pregnant again:eek:. She was lucky enough to have time for an epidural, unlike me.

Pherekydes

starbelgrade wrote: »

I don't know why women whine on about the pain of childbirth.

Sure it's no more painful than having a massive, solid shit.

Must be some shít if you split yourself and lose a pint of blood. How many stitches did you get?

bfocusd

stupidusername wrote: »

bfocusd wrote: »

No kids so I cannot comment on that pain level, but know quite a few girls who were too late for an epidural and had their arse stitched back together after tearing from the birth?

christ almighty what a ****ing way to put it

Tis exactly what happened though, one had twins and she had this blow up donut thing to sit on for about a month till it settled, she had a really hard time with first time round and twins.. Who were underweight and docs insisted she breast feed.. Poor woman was wore out..

Your skin can only dialate so far, so how else is the baby going to arrive, the doc might cut it to help with tissue damage, but not always..

Your Female? Still want kids? haha

Larianne

bfocusd wrote: »

Tis exactly what happened though, one had twins and she had this blow up donut thing to sit on for about a month till it settled, she had a really hard time with first time round and twins.. Who were underweight and docs insisted she breast feed.. Poor woman was wore out..

Your skin can only dialate so far, so how else is the baby going to arrive, the doc might cut it to help with tissue damage, but not always..

Your Female? Still want kids? haha

Was she unlucky to have a new intern stitching her up? Went out with a doc before. He said he got the hang of it after about the 8 patient. :eek:

Buenavistam

Testicles; two. normal hanging position.. Low slung, comfortable,happy.

Dislocated hip; pain .very sore.

Hip put back in socket. Should be ok . One ball missing. Stretched.. Definitely not ok. Definitely sore.

Now dizzy and faint.

bfocusd

[Quote=Larianne;
Was she lucky or unlucky to have a new intern stitching her up? Went out with a doc before. He said he got the hang of it after about the 8 patient. :eek:

No thank God, she was private and had an elderly experienced doc do it, she was in a bad way, first baby was in distress cause second was laying on it several days, so she pushed like a lunatic and got a tear but the second baby was bigger and made it a million times worse, all with no meds.

bfocusd

Buenavistam wrote: »

Testicles; two. normal hanging position.. Low slung, comfortable,happy.

Dislocated hip; pain .very sore.

Hip put back in socket. Should be ok . One ball missing. Stretched.. Definitely not ok. Definitely sore.

Now dizzy and faint.

Im sorry cause it sound painfully,but one ball missing... oh god.. Where did you find it? Or was it just hiding?

cofy

Larianne wrote: »

Was she unlucky to have a new intern stitching her up? Went out with a doc before. He said he got the hang of it after about the 8 patient. :eek:

When my son was born and checked out to make sure everything was ok, my husband wanted to rush out to smoke a fag and tell his mother that she had a new grandson. He was stopped in his tracks, very politely, by the person stitching me up "go back, this is a bad one", after I heard that I did'nt want to ask how many stiches I got, all I could hear was that my son was alright, even though this was my second child, it was the first time I heard my baby after being born. (My first was born 3 months early at 1lb 12oz).

Buenavistam

Ball in socket .. Hip dislocated a second time. Ball home. Hip joint not so good.

K-9

On a similar thread here, some guy wrote about getting his ball sac ripped open.

That has to be one in the net! Ripped open the defence.

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

bfocusd

K-9 wrote: »

On a similar thread here, some guy wrote about getting his ball sac ripped open.

That has to be one in the net! Ripped open the defence.

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Link?

stupidusername

bfocusd wrote: »

Tis exactly what happened though, one had twins and she had this blow up donut thing to sit on for about a month till it settled, she had a really hard time with first time round and twins.. Who were underweight and docs insisted she breast feed.. Poor woman was wore out..

Your skin can only dialate so far, so how else is the baby going to arrive, the doc might cut it to help with tissue damage, but not always..

Your Female? Still want kids? haha

for my own sake I skimmed through this post.

I am female, but no I don't want children, never have..... and probably never will. i just cannot imagine that pain.

cofy

bfocusd wrote: »

No kids so I cannot comment on that pain level, but know quite a few girls who were too late for an epidural and had their arse stitched back together after tearing from the birth?

The proper way to say this is "There was a bit of colletaral damage"

bfocusd

[Quote=stupidusername;
for my own sake I skimmed through this post.

I am female, but no I don't want children, never have..... and probably never will. i just cannot imagine that pain.[/Quote]

I thought the same, but after 13 years of no kids,in the past 4 years there has been about 10 babies born into my family, cousins etc. inc.

I would like to have kids eventually, my attitude changed in the past year after I was mis diagnosed with health issues. my main issue I have is both my parents are twins, so the genetics are quite high, I've about 11 sets of twins through the family as far as great uncles and second cousins, not all immediate family.

You would have too look past the pain barrier, they say when you see the baby its worth it, just gotta hope it's not like something out of shrek

alphabeat

gsxr1 wrote: »

What is wrong with men these days.. Feckin hell.

I broke my wrist and worked on with it for 3 weeks. . Roofing a house.

I broke my ankle and did not go to hospital till the day after. After the doctor told me to. He called an ambulance

Broke my tibia Falling of a sports bike (that did hurt a fair bit). I may have pissed myself.

5 ribs smashed and it stung a bit for a while. Other bits and bobs broken in the quest to be a normal man who likes sports and ruff.


THEN I SEE SOME POOF ON BOARDs WHINE ABOUT HIS PUBES ... Fecking hell

PONCE !


I decapitated myself opening a bag of taytos once ,
didnt realise for 3 days until someone casually mentioned I may be going deaf as they kept having to repeat themselves.

stupidusername

bfocusd wrote: »

I thought the same, but after 13 years of no kids,in the past 4 years there has been about 10 babies born into my family, cousins etc. inc.

I would like to have kids eventually, my attitude changed in the past year after I was mis diagnosed with health issues. my main issue I have is both my parents are twins, so the genetics are quite high, I've about 11 sets of twins through the family as far as great uncles and second cousins, not all immediate family.

You would have too look past the pain barrier, they say when you see the baby its worth it, just gotta hope it's not like something out of shrek

yeah i see why you'd be worried about...the birth.
nah i'm pretty settled on not having them now

alphabeat wrote: »

I decapitated myself opening a bag of taytos once ,
didnt realise for 3 days until someone casually mentioned I may be going deaf as they kept having to repeat themselves.

you should probably look up what decapitated means

cofy

bfocusd wrote: »

I thought the same, but after 13 years of no kids,in the past 4 years there has been about 10 babies born into my family, cousins etc. inc.

I would like to have kids eventually, my attitude changed in the past year after I was mis diagnosed with health issues. my main issue I have is both my parents are twins, so the genetics are quite high, I've about 11 sets of twins through the family as far as great uncles and second cousins, not all immediate family.

You would have too look past the pain barrier, they say when you see the baby its worth it, just gotta hope it's not like something out of shrek

Bfocusd, don't worry, (I am open to correction here) but with twins once you have the first baby, the second has a way out. With twins it's not the labour I would be worried about, it's what comes after. (by the way I was told I would never have children). Shrek is cute;)

gcgirl

shrewdness wrote: »

Tearing your banjo string

O to the M to the G

gcgirl

K-9 wrote: »

On a similar thread here, some guy wrote about getting his ball sac ripped open.

That has to be one in the net! Ripped open the defence.

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

Leo Cullen by any chance ?

emo72

Forget childbirth, here's mongo.....!!! Is that the answer?

Broads.ie

I've made massive shits that have literally cracked my spine (the same way you can crack your fingers).

The dry ones are the most painful. Surely as painful as childbirth.

gsxr1

Arpa wrote: »

You're just like action man mate. "I don't go to hospital until the day afterwards". That doesn't make you hard, just a bit slow. Out there in Oz breaking up your body but not givin a sh*t. Doin' us proud. It's grand though, cus I have a job here.

Everyone has broken something or other in their lifetime, but I was talking about those annoying little things like when you get your pubes caught in your foreskin when you move, or paper cuts..or standing on a nail. Keep up.

Sorry if this offends. But I see a picture of you wearing a dress and crying at a cut on your finger. At 10 years old.

You are not really into gaa, sports or anything really. Are you?


GROW A SET> FFS

mikemac1

Johro wrote: »

Ever get that cramp in your calf muscle? Jesus...

Awwww

I get that the odd time when I sitting on the couch and then have a good stretch

Gulp, the pain

shuvly

Same as! But(!) u guys have to imagine what it mite be like pushing a pineaplle..not skinned..out ur assole..

bfocusd

cofy wrote: »

Bfocusd, don't worry, (I am open to correction here) but with twins once you have the first baby, the second has a way out. With twins it's not the labour I would be worried about, it's what comes after. (by the way I was told I would never have children). Shrek is cute;)

I understand your thinking, but usually the first weighs less as the second has been using it as a cushion when they are getting into position. Im not worried about either really, it's a deal with it at the time sort of thing I think. Looking after twins is touch I got the bottle feeds at the same time down, its the first few days of changing the nappies I couldn't hack ..

Benicetomonty

bfocusd wrote: »

I've experienced almost all those supposedly painful things, except the ones with willies and they are just about on the level of What we go through every month!

No kids so I cannot comment on that pain level, but know quite a few girls who were too late for an epidural and had their arse stitched back together after tearing from the birth?

Has any lad online had his nutsack tore opened and stitched back together without any numbing meds? If so that's childbirth

Showing this to gf Out of curiosity, is anal better/worse after childbirth?

LETHAL LADY

cofy wrote: »

Was this your first child? Are you planning on having any more. One girl in my ward, just hours after having her first baby, asked how long before she could get pregnant again:eek:. She was lucky enough to have time for an epidural, unlike me.

Have 2 bambinos.:D I was told a story about a local slapper, who whilst staying in a public ward after the birth of her first child, got down to making more childer with her fella whilst the other new mammys listened on in horror.:eek:

Paddy Cow

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Have 2 bambinos.:D I was told a story about a local slapper, who whilst staying in a public ward after the birth of her first child, got down to making more childer with her fella whilst the other new mammys listened on in horror.:eek:

I really hope that's just an urban legend :eek:

LETHAL LADY

Paddy Cow wrote: »

I really hope that's just an urban legend :eek:

Twas a mutual friend told me so I can only hope she was lying. BTW it was a normal delivery, just to add to the yuck factor.:eek:

Capt'n Midnight

There was a woman who gave herself a cesarian ....

Paddy Cow

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

There was a woman who gave herself a cesarian ....

WTF??

laoch na mona

LETHAL LADY wrote: »

Have 2 bambinos.:D I was told a story about a local slapper, who whilst staying in a public ward after the birth of her first child, got down to making more childer with her fella whilst the other new mammys listened on in horror.:eek:

why is that important

Paddy Cow

laoch na mona wrote: »

why is that important

Because it means that there was only a flimsy curtain around their bed to give them (and everyone else in the ward) any privacy. If they had their own room and no one else had to hear them, it wouldn't have mattered.

Arpa

gsxr1 wrote: »

Sorry if this offends. But I see a picture of you wearing a dress and crying at a cut on your finger. At 10 years old.

You are not really into gaa, sports or anything really. Are you?


GROW A SET> FFS

Doesn't offend mate. If it helps you to feel better about yourself I'm glad I can be of service.

How is my interest in sports commensurate with my pain threshold? Because you kick a football around a field doesn't make you more manly.

I played hurling as a teenager for a reputable club in Dublin. I even played in a club final in Croker but I don't see how it's relevant.

See, whilst I played these sporting activities I also received an excellent education and worked hard to get a great job, which is probably the reason why now I'm still in Ireland with my friends and family whereas you, who leaned heavily on machismo as your ticket in life, are now lifting concrete bricks on the other side of the world.

If you're gonna be a smart ass, expect it returned in spades.

dsmythy

Slipped disc.....

laoch na mona

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Because it means that there was only a flimsy curtain around their bed to give them (and everyone else in the ward) any privacy. If they had their own room and no one else had to hear them, it wouldn't have mattered.

a private ward would be just as public
ward implies a public room with several beds

Capt'n Midnight

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/06/01/1086037758224.html

So at midnight, after 12 hours of constant pain, the petite, 40-year-old mother of six sat down on a low wooden bench. She took several gulps from a bottle of rubbing alcohol, grabbed a 15-cm knife and began to cut.

By the light of a single dim bulb, Ramirez sawed through skin, fat and muscle before reaching inside her uterus and pulling out her baby boy. She says she cut his umbilical cord with a pair of scissors, then passed out.

Paddy Cow

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/06/01/1086037758224.html

Respect to that woman! :eek:

Lady von Purple

Arpa wrote: »

Well actually I have never experienced childbirth but there are some bloody awfully painful moments lads have to go through

My sister's labour lasted 30+ hours. Any men here ever been kicked in the nuts continuously for 30 hours? :eek:

Jesus Wept

Lady von Purple wrote: »

My sister's labour lasted 30+ hours. Any men here ever been kicked in the nuts continuously for 30 hours? :eek:

No man would voluntarily take a second, third and forth kick to the balls.
Case closed.

TheZohanS

Lady von Purple wrote: »

My sister's labour lasted 30+ hours. Any men here ever been kicked in the nuts continuously for 30 hours? :eek:

I've heard plenty of girls say childbirth is easy but I've never heard one person say a kick in the nuts didn't hurt.