advice from those been through it

cazzak79

Hi
im not pregnant yet but hope to be in next year
my partner dosnt want to be in the maternity ward when i have the baby
which is fair enough not easy thing to watch and i know can put some men off. my dad wasnt present at any of our births.
my family are in galway and im in dublin couldnt really ask my family to come up here and wouldnt be comfortable with his mother etc
so was thinking getting a doula and do midwife led birth if everythings ok
either in holles street or mount caramel im fairly scared of it. would love to opt for c section i know the risks and what happens after but it expensive isnt it even with health insurancce

so few questions
1. would a doula/midwife be ok
2. if i wanted a c section in mount caramel/holles street how expensive is it and which health insurance is best..

thanks for help or advice
didnt know which section to ask in so put in pregnant section also

lynski

so few questions
1. would a doula/midwife be ok
2. if i wanted a c section in mount caramel/holles street how expensive is it and which health insurance is best..

thanks for help or advice
didnt know which section to ask in so put in pregnant section also

I did not use a doula but saw a girl in hospital who did and she seemed happy BUT if you research it doulas are all about natural birth and i am not sure what a doula would do at a planned section, it takes only a few minutes and the baby can be with your partner while you are attended to.
a planned section for a medical reason is a reasonable option, but really there is no other reason for it, as the recovery time is horrible - i had a section emergency, not planned, and 2 natural births. natural births in under 6 hrs, total hospital time 36 hrs, no stitches, very little recovery time.
Section, 9 days in hosp post-partum, infection, scar, problems for nearly a year after and still get twinges 5 yrs later.
I would recommend talking to Tracy Donegan who is a Doula and a gentle birth teacher.
Can't comment on Mt Carmel costs,but i have a friend who raves about it and had all 3 of hers there.

implausible

I'm just wondering - are you only looking at these options because of your partner's unwillingness to be there with you? If so, does your partner realise that he will be putting the mother of his child through unnecessary surgery because he doesn't want to be there?

I've heard great things about the midwife-led units, if you're lucky enough to have that service in your area. However, I really think that as the person who will be having the baby, you should be choosing your options based on how you want to give birth, not solely on another's person's squeamishness.

cazzak79

Thanks for the advice everyone
When the time comes things may change
Il look into the doula gentle birth and the midwife led in holles st
Il be prepared myself and go from there

chirogirl

my Story's a little different, i was looking into a doula but a c-section kept being mentioned to me as i was going to be induced at 36 weeks. So i opted out of the doula idea. I was induced, had my baby on my own via natural delivery, no spectators (by choice). The OB and midwives were fantastic. They said it makes their job easier when there's no spectators.

Good luck with whatever you chose.

vibe666

my wife and i had our first in holles street and we would have recommended it right up until the day leading up to the birth, but after having gone through that, we'll be choosing somewhere else for the next one.

the delivery room part was fantastic and we had a great midwife (who was a midwife trainer) and the consultant in for the last 20 minutes to aid with the delivery, but the pre-labour ward and all that went with it was not a nice experience at all and from the time we came in to the time she actually gave birth (slightly less than 24 hours) she had at least 15 different people give her an internal exam and although the nurses there did their best to make the most of a bad situation a lot of what went on was very impersonal and has put us off going there again for (fingers crossed) the next one.

my wife has heard of a birthing clinic somewhere in drogheda where it's all centered around the mother and the emphasis is on keeping the number of people present and the number of different people you come into contact with to a minimum and they have birthing pools (just for relaxation before, not birthing in unfortunately), so that's where we'll be heading next time.

Hannibal Smith

I agree vibe, the ore labour ward in Holles st is very unpleasant but I suppose they have to out us all somewhere

OP I don't think insurance companies cover elective sections. But check with your insurance company and I guess ring Holles street to find out how much they charge. It's the 5 stay in a semi private room that's the most expensive part. So maybe if you stay in a public ward afterwards instead? After that its about 1000 in total for anaesthetist fees and surgeon fees

GoerGirl

I actually come from the position of if the father is not wanting to be in the birthroom, it is probably best if he isn't. Labour and birth can be challenging and you will need someone there who is interested and will give you support.

With regards to Doulas, I have had quite a few friends use Doulas...for all types of births. A Doula's role is to provide emotional support to women in labour. They will not speak for you. They will not only support you for one "type" of birth.

One of my friends had a Doula for an elective Caesarean. The Doula helped her prepare for the emotional aspects (specific to my friend) of the Caesarean, stayed with the baby while she was in recovery, and assisted her afterwards with breastfeeding.

The MLUs in the Northeast (Cavan/Drogheda) are fantastic options if they are open to you. OLOL Drogheda is one of the few units in the Country which allow more than 1 birthing partner (without swapping in and out)

Noopti

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

I agree vibe, the ore labour ward in Holles st is very unpleasant but I suppose they have to out us all somewhere

OP I don't think insurance companies cover elective sections. But check with your insurance company and I guess ring Holles street to find out how much they charge. It's the 5 stay in a semi private room that's the most expensive part. So maybe if you stay in a public ward afterwards instead? After that its about 1000 in total for anaesthetist fees and surgeon fees

We need to be careful with the definition of "elective". A normal elective c-section is one which is pre-arranged by the hospital due to a medical reason (eg: you have placenta previa, come in on X date for an elective c-section). Insurance does cover such elective sections, however if there is no medical justification for the c-section they won't cover it - if they know it is not medically justified.

Hannibal Smith

Noopti wrote: »

We need to be careful with the definition of "elective". A normal elective c-section is one which is pre-arranged by the hospital due to a medical reason (eg: you have placenta previa, come in on X date for an elective c-section). Insurance does cover such elective sections, however if there is no medical justification for the c-section they won't cover it - if they know it is not medically justified.

I think in the context of the thread the definition I was leaning towards was pretty obvious

Noopti

Hannibal Smith wrote: »

I think in the context of the thread the definition I was leaning towards was pretty obvious

Yes, but the term elective has a very broad meaning, and saying that an insurance company won't cover electives could be very confusing to people reading the thread.

Hannibal Smith

Noopti wrote: »

Yes, but the term elective has a very broad meaning, and saying that an insurance company won't cover electives could be very confusing to people reading the thread.

Like I said to the OP, they should check with their insurance company before they reach their decision on what birthing plan to opt for.:)

LegacyUser

chirogirl wrote: »

The OB and midwives were fantastic. They said it makes their job easier when there's no spectators.

I was with my wife and was not a "spectator". She said she would never have coped without me there.

I suspect they were saying this to you to make you feel better, as the midwife was supervising two births in our hospital in different rooms and was very happy I was there.

LegacyUser

I just wanted to comment on elective c section. I was terrified of giving birth & wanted a section the whole way through my pregnancy, as it turned out for medical reasons I had to have a planned section anyway so was delighted.

How wrong I was. I ended up having a post partum hemmorage straight after the surgery, I lost three quarters of my blood, ended up having 3 surgeries back to back over that night, 3 blood transfusions. I narrowly avoided a hysterectomy (thanks only to the amazing team in the Coombe who I owe my life to) I spent a week in intensive care, had to practically learn to walk again, have no recollection of my babys birth or first few days (this is the worst part) Took me ages to recover & even when I got hoome I was on such heavy drugs that the whole thing was a it of a blur.

Seven months on I am still devastated at missing my babies 1st days & being taken away from them. All surgeries carry risks & to put yourself at risk voluntarily is not something I would recommend unless you re prepared for something like this to happen. It may be rare but it does happen, and even if it didnt, recovery from a straight forward section is bloody hard too, I witnessed this when I was finally transferred to a normal ward for section mothers. Good luck with your decision.