Social Anxiety

kissyface

Hi just looking for advice. If anyone out there knows what I'm on about or what I can do/where I can go for help about this I'd be so grateful.

I've suffered with social anxiety since my early teens (I'm 22 now). I've never been to a doctor about it because I've been too scared to talk about it. My partner is the only one that knows. I'm an early school leaver also due to the anxiety. There was a point where it sort of went away for about a year or so and I could function normally and that was great. Then I met my partner, I fell pregnant, had a baby and since then it's crept back up again and it's worse than ever.

It's gotten to the point now where I can't even leave the house on my own. I'm terrified of even crossing the road sometimes. I can't cross the road pushing the pram so my partner has to be with me. I get very panicky in crowded places and very embarassed. I feel like people are looking at me and thinking there's something up with me or I'm looking a bit weird. I can't talk on phones either. I have panic attacks quite a lot. It's mortifying.

My partner is great and he's very supportive but I'm so fed up now with the way I am. I think I was just sort of hoping it would just go away like it did before. I don't even know why I'm like this in the first place.
I feel like an arse because the little fella will be in playschool soon and want to get out, go to college or go on a course but the thought of it terrifies me. I don't even know what I want to do anymore. I feel like I'm leaving it too long and don't want to be sat there in 10 years time thinking I've never done anything with myself.


Sorry for the ramble. Just wondering if there's anyone else out there that was in a similar situation and how they dealt with it? I suppose the first thing would be go to my GP but I'm terrified.

Thanks

irishbipolar

kissyface wrote: »

I've suffered with social anxiety since my early teens (I'm 22 now).

Hi kissyface, I struggle with social anxiety too. I have bipolar disorder so I am not sure if I developed it through that illness or whether it was part of me from a young age. When I was younger I was shy/insecure/low-esteem.

My social anxiety comes and goes. But when I do get hit by it, the anxiety/panic attacks are terrible. I can understand where you are coming from.

I think you are right, your first port of call should be your GP. Your doctor should point you in the right direction. My doctor even prescribed me Beta-Blockers (normally used for high blood pressure) which helps with the side effects of Social Anxiety like nerves, tightening of the throat, unable to speak, etc. But these are for the short-term only.

Other than that all I can suggest off-hand is:-

* maybe track down a good book on Social Anxiety off the web

* CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) - your doctor could recommend a therapist.

* ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) - newish therapy. I know they do it in St. Edmundsbury Hospital, Lucan. Check out http://www.thehappinesstrap.com/ and the associated book by Russ Harris.

* St Patricks Hospital, Dublin have an anxiety programme. You would need to be referred by your doctor. If you have health insurance that would cover it.

* www.grow.ie These group sessions can help. I know having social anxiety it's hard attending a group session but maybe further down the line Grow could help you. I know my doctor encouraged me to attend Aware/Grow. I was on Beta-Blockers and the first couple of sessions I turned down the offer of speaking. Then it got easier. The small bit I know about social anxiety, in order to get through it I had to get used to the feeling of anxiety in uncomfortable situations so that I could conquer it. So that is why my doctor encouraged me to go to group therapy such that I could get used to it over time.

Hope that helps in some way. Best of luck with it.

MariaRo

I have a similar issue,

I was always a bit shy and timid but nothing too bad, when i was around 10 me and my brothers were put in care for 6 months, i didn't see what was wrong with the job my parents were doing i was happy and healthy. My mother was never really mentally well so thats the only reason i could see for it. It did affect me a lot i was terrified the night we were taken from home. I was embarrassed and ashamed because of this. It was even worse that my school knew about it and teachers asking me all of a sudden how i was and i felt uncomfortable about people knowing.

I got through primary school, had a little teasing from people about silly things but i got through it. Secondary school came and i had a little bullying but was mostly fine up until about 5th year. I started skipping school as i was afraid of talking in front of people, i would sit there terrified incase the teacher was going to ask me to read from our book, i would be sweating n all.
I was asked to read in class one day and it was horrible, my throat felt like it was closing up my voice was shaking and i could barely breathe i just wanted to get swallowed up by a hole in the ground.

I was so relieved when i finished school, i didn't do well in my leaving cert due to my fear. I applied for a job and got it and was dreading the training. The HR person doing the training noticed my nervousness stood out from everyone else. I left this job and went to another.

I had to do 2 weeks of training for this new job and boy i was dreading it, got to the place where we had to train and the trainer went around the room and asked everyone to introduce themselves, i was almost next, there were still 2 people to go i had to get up and leave, i pretended to the trainer that i felt sick.. . i wasn't sick i was just terrified. I sat there worrying for the next 2 weeks about the trainer asking me to read anything or have to get up and do anything infront of anyone.

I stayed in this job for ages, anytime new training came up i tried to find a way out of it. I eventually left as i wanted to be closer to home and am unemployed since. I am passing up jobs based on if their training is in-store or as a group somewhere. I feel at this point i need help badly, i would love to go to college but again i would rather crawl into the ground than get up and do a presentation or talk infront of a class.

Funnily i am fine in most other situations, just if its in a setting that has a "classroom" feel to it i am terrified.

So id love to get help with this as its holding me back from doing things with my life.

If anyone has any suggestions id love to hear them.

starviewadams

This group is supposed to very good for social anxiety,and it's free too:

http://socialanxietyireland.com/materhospitalgroup.htm

There's around a 9 month waiting list though, so no harm in applying for it now.

I'd also really urge you to try and talk to your GP about your anxiety (if you can't pluck up the courage to talk to your GP,you could write down how you are feeling on some paper and hand it to him/her either)there's no shame in it,and he/she could refer you to a counsellor or to your local community mental health team where they could assess you,and maybe recommend other types of treatment like medication or CBT etc.

Best of luck on whatever you decide to do

kissyface

Thanks for the replies. Sorry I took a while to get back.
I'll check out the links. I'd love if there was a support group round here.

MariaRo I was same as you in school. Hated reading, hated being in the spotlight.
The thought of working somewhere like a shop absolutely terrifies me.

So I booked an appointment with my GP for next week and I'll just take it from there.

nubblett

Hi Kissyface, If you haven't done so already go to the Linden method website and download their program its not a scam. I was sceptical at first but boy have I seen progress. Anxiety affects us all in different ways and there are varying forms of it but they can all be eliminated 100% through sufficiently occupying your creative mind. Sounds too good to be true I know but trust me life is so much better after doing the method. I want to know are their others out there in the Cork area that would be interested in joining an improvisation for anxiety group. It is scientifically proven that during Improvisation your self-monitoring shuts off and self-expression turns on. This could be the answer as it would complement the creative stuff and I would really love to hear if there are people interested in getting back to the happy-go lucky people they once were.

s k

try relaquil. all natural not drugs really helped me