Dealing with your looks?

EdenHazard

Think this might suit here. I've come to the conclusion I'm ugly. Like not hideous just I must look weird or something, I've seen pics of me and imagined I might be unphotogenic but I've heard that theres no such thing and thats how people see you. Really puts you off doing stuff, like I try to dress well doing stuff(going college, cinema etc) go gym but whats the point if your face doesn't match?
How do you deal with this revelation? Society is so dictated by looks I feel, and its great if your perceived as good looking but you are screwed if you not.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

EdenHazard wrote: »

I've seen pics of me and imagined I might be unphotogenic but I've heard that theres no such thing and thats how people see you.

I'm not the best person to give advice on this issue as I'm not very secure with my own appearance, but I can assure you that this is untrue. I know several people who I'd consider quite good looking, but it doesn't translate to photographs at all. I'm not sure why this is but I find it to be the case.

Don Booker

I can be pretty fond of myself at times, but it wasn't always the way. I think it's all about being comfortable not how you look at yourself in the mirror - but how you look at yourself back out. Then the looking is inward - sort of. If you make peace with the world on that day before you leave the house - or don't, as the case may be in Ireland, you'll feel in tune with the oneness of everything and that vibe will make you look beautiful to others of similar disposition at the very least. If finances are good there are plastic options and botox but i think there a disaster waiting to happen. It's cheap capitalism and that always leads to pollution.
Keep the chin up. :cool:

jimgoose

Nonsense. I'm one of the most devastatingly handsome men in the Western Hemisphere, but for some reason I always look like Tom Crean after a particularly could few months in photographs. This is obviously some sort of anomaly in Physics, and yes I've filed a bug report.

Don't fret about it - you're perfectly presentable. If the problem is girls, especially don't fret about it - most of them are even more worried about it than you. You'd be amazed.

Davidius

Photos might flatten out certain features or distort perspective which can probably make you look worse or better depending on the shape of your face. That's just conjecture on my part, maybe somebody who's familiar with using a camera or optics can fill you in there.

Sometimes the angle just isn't right either. You know the way teenage girls tend to take photos of themselves from above? It manages to show pretty much none of their facial structure, just their eyes and hair. That way they look better.

You can look worse on camera too. That might be what's happening to you. The cliché "get my good side" doesn't come from nowhere. Chin up. Chances are no matter what way you look, you'll find somebody out there who finds it attractive.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

The wikipedia article makes a lot of sense....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Photogenic

Zen65

EdenHazard wrote: »

...I must look weird or something, I've seen pics of me and imagined I might be unphotogenic but I've heard that theres no such thing ...

The translation from 3D to 2D does not suit all types of face, so "unphotogenic" is most certainly an apt description of some people. I remember in my teens taking photos of friends that I considered to be extremely good-looking and being shocked weeks later (cameras were not digital in those days) to receive photos from the Chemist in which those people didn't look too good at all.

Conversely, some people don't look nearly as well in 3D as they do in 2D. I've met a few well-known media personalities who look great on the small screen but are nothing special in real life.

Don't be overly influenced by your own judgement of your appearance, and by all means do continue to make an effort with your appearance. I don't mean you should put a huge effort into your appearance,..... life is too short for that. But often it is the physical evidence of care that creates the impression that you are a confident, out-going person. It is the confidence you project which others find as attractive, not the measure of your facial dimensions.

Be at peace,

Z

Aisling(",)

I don't think anyone is that secure with their looks even the most self absorbed people I know who have said they're pretty always need constant reassurance.

I've come to terms with mine a bit.I'm not now or ever will be what people call good looking.I'm not hideous though,like I havent had people running in the opposite direction when they see my face.I'm still not exactly happy with how I look though and I think the fact I'm carrying a pooch on my belly isnt helping.

When I was younger I was a lot worse though and I had overheard myself being called the ugly one out of my friends.While I was devestated at the time I think I've grown into myself and if someone said it now I think I'd be able to brush it off.

And bad photos better be a real thing because if not then I'm some sort of mangy looking animal at times.

SarahBeep!

There are days I wake up and think I look unreal.
There are days I wish I could leave the house under an invisibility cloak.

There are photos of me I love and photos of me I hate.

You just have to learn to love the things about you that sets you apart from everyone else.

EdenHazard

Aisling(",) wrote: »

I don't think anyone is that secure with their looks even the most self absorbed people I know who have said they're pretty always need constant reassurance.

I've come to terms with mine a bit.I'm not now or ever will be what people call good looking.I'm not hideous though,like I havent had people running in the opposite direction when they see my face.I'm still not exactly happy with how I look though and I think the fact I'm carrying a pooch on my belly isnt helping.

When I was younger I was a lot worse though and I had overheard myself being called the ugly one out of my friends.While I was devestated at the time I think I've grown into myself and if someone said it now I think I'd be able to brush it off.

And bad photos better be a real thing because if not then I'm some sort of mangy looking animal at times.

I think they do exist, I mean I've seen pictures where people didnt even look like how I see them in real life, but even pics where you would know its them they look worse than they would normally, skin tone different, things look out of proportion etc.

Don Booker

Photoshop is great if your out there, you know, in the social media sphere or lounging around a Polish or Ukrainian dating website. Good photo could go global.
Technology is advancing but it's at least 5 years away before photoshop gets into the make-up market with an array of digital products for the man without a face.
But like i said above, It's not anything I've ever had to worry about. Not facially anyway!

Namlub

tbh I am walking proof that being unphotogenic is a real thing.

seanbmc

I used to hate the way I looked, hated pictures, reflection, basically everything. So I decided to change things, I got a haircut, exercised more and ate healthier. I gradually became more confident and I got an odd compliment every now and then, this was years ago.

Don't run yourself down like I did.

Daniel S

EdenHazard wrote: »

Think this might suit here. I've come to the conclusion I'm ugly. Like not hideous just I must look weird or something, I've seen pics of me and imagined I might be unphotogenic but I've heard that theres no such thing and thats how people see you. Really puts you off doing stuff, like I try to dress well doing stuff(going college, cinema etc) go gym but whats the point if your face doesn't match?
How do you deal with this revelation? Society is so dictated by looks I feel, and its great if your perceived as good looking but you are screwed if you not.

Are you sure? :pac: Give us a pic and I'm sure we can help you! Most of the time it's got to do with people picking stuff that doesn't suit them.

Shy_Dave!

I'm not gay, but this may sound it a little :
OP, I've seen your pic in 'Know your lookalikes' I think.
Your look like a handsome young man and have nothing to worry about.
The rest of you on the other hand...

Daniel S

Shy_Dave! wrote: »

I'm not gay, but this may sound it a little :
OP, I've seen your pic in 'Know your lookalikes' I think.
Your look like a handsome young man and have nothing to worry about.
The rest of you on the other hand...

+1



That you? You're not ugly lad. The lads in the back are a different story though :pac:

A can of Druids won't help you pull either

EdenHazard

Ah lads haha thanks..shocking barnet tho ha. I suppose I'm just a very vain person(about myself) I constantly evaluate peoples response to me based on looks and sometimes would rather just be left alone than deal with people because I feel that if in my head im this good looking lad then ill be more happy without that illusion been shattered.(im a weird weird person ha) Sometimes I'd be so so full of myself then others I'd be so down about how I look.

Shy_Dave!

EdenHazard wrote: »

Ah lads haha thanks..shocking barnet tho ha. I suppose I'm just a very vain person(about myself) I constantly evaluate peoples response to me based on looks and sometimes would rather just be left alone than deal with people because I feel that if in my head im this good looking lad then ill be more happy without that illusion been shattered.(im a weird weird person ha) Sometimes I'd be so so full of myself then others I'd be so down about how I look.

I understand what you mean, I'd be similar.

Salty

I absolutely cannot leave my house without make-up on, I just hate the way I look without it. I can tolerate myself with it on. I don't think I'm particularly good looking tbh, I have very little confidence. I've had a friend pass some hurtful comments in the past..guess they've stuck with me!

Lawliet

_meehan_ wrote: »

I absolutely cannot leave my house without make-up on, I just hate the way I look without it. I can tolerate myself with it on.

I don't think anyone has seen me without make up since I was fourteen. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without it on

Hairycopper

Lawliet wrote: »

I don't think anyone has seen me without make up since I was fourteen. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without it on

I'd be extremely conscious without it too, so would most girls I know.

Aoifey!

Make up wise I wear a bit of mousse foundation stuff that I wouldn't really leave the house without but I lost all my other make up about a month ago and haven't bothered replacing it yet. I would be conscious if I wasn't wearing that little bit outside the house though.

ohthebaby

I used to be so so so self-conscious about how I looked. I am a lot better now thanks to a lot of things, one of them being living abroad and looking so foreign that everyone thinks I'm gorgeous just because I'm different, which makes me laugh but also feel good.

I have never considered myself pretty or in any way good looking. I used to wear full make up everyday but now I'm just like whatever. I still wear a lot but maybe once a week I'll just go out with mascara. I'm not particularly thin or slim but I have a good shape (I think), like I go in and out in all the right places. Before I really hated myself, like properly couldn't look at myself most of the time.

I think getting older has made me more secure in myself. I'll never be gorgeous or whatever but I think I'm ok now. Also this sounds really cheesy but my boyfriend has been a big help. He could see how insecure I was in myself and he's helped me look at the good things.

Davidius

I am so handsome that girls avoid sitting next to me so that they do not tempt themselves.