"You're doin an awful lot of drinkin..."

Defiler Of The Coffin

Is there any way to tell a friend he's drinking to excess in a sensitive manner? Friend of mine has been overdoing the sauce for a good few years now. The night he finished the leaving cert he downed 20 pints. He has a talent for finding sh*thole pubs that serve cheap drink. One of the pubs he found even had an 80 year old man barred, it was that bad. Another night he got in a row with a taxi-driver because he couldn't find anywhere open that would serve drink, and still demanded payment for the trip.

He has this idea that heavy-drinking is synonymous with being a big tough guy and legitimises him as a man. How to broach the issue before his liver packs up and moves for less booze-soaked shores?

LH Pathe

He dug your mudder up

TheZohanS

Honest answer; you can't. He'll have to learn for himself. If you tell him you guys will just fall out.

Defiler Of The Coffin

TheZohan wrote: »

Honest answer; you can't. He'll have to learn for himself. If you tell him you guys will just fall out.

Are you saying this from experience?

Defiler Of The Coffin

LH Pathe wrote: »

He dug your mudder up

Not relevant, he was sober at the time

MyKeyG

TheZohan wrote: »

Honest answer; you can't. He'll have to learn for himself. If you tell him you guys will just fall out.

Exactly it's like an obese friend asking if they're fat! They know they are every time they squeeze into size 18 jeans while devouring a bucket of ice-cream. Your mate knows in his heart that he's over drinking. The problem for you is you don't know why he's doing it and that's what will scupper any genuine approach to help.

And that's from experience. I was the mate!!!

Sindri

Doing a lot of damage to his liver.


Plus he sounds a bit of a knob.

Deus Ex Machina

Not sure how you should word your advice, but you should scream it in his ears while your face goes red and the veins on your forehead stand up with your hands clasped to his shirt collar.

ColeTrain

Throw him a free bag of heroin. Ask any dealer and they'll give it to you on the house - they're very accommodating like that. He should become too occupied with that to drink anymore.

MistyCheese

MyKeyG wrote: »

an obese friend

MyKeyG wrote: »

size 18 jeans

Your female friends are asking you if they are fat!!

RichieC

Somehow I doubt a 17 yo drank 20 pints.

Defiler Of The Coffin

MyKeyG wrote: »

Exactly it's like an obese friend asking if they're fat! They know they are every time they squeeze into size 18 jeans while devouring a bucket of ice-cream. Your mate knows in his heart that he's over drinking. The problem for you is you don't know why he's doing it and that's what will scupper any genuine approach to help.

And that's from experience. I was the mate!!!

He doesn't have any wife or kids so it's only really himself that he's harming. He's as stubborn as a mule as well. We used to be best friends but he has more interest in hanging around with idiots getting pissed instead of doing something constructive outside the pub. It's rare that we do something that doesn't involve drinking.

Not sure if he realises the damage he's doing to himself, even if I could say something that would make him think it would be helpful

MyKeyG

MistyCheese wrote: »

Your female friends are asking you if they are fat!!

One plus one equals two. Well done!

Defiler Of The Coffin

RichieC wrote: »

Somehow I doubt a 17 yo drank 20 pints.

He was 18 at the time, had finished a repeat year of the LC. He has an insane capacity for drink, at least he did back then.

Sindri

You should tell him heavy drinking usually results in a decrease of how long you can expect to live. It's not drinking that's bad, it can be good, it's heavy drinking that is extremely unhealthy and kills.


If for instance you rarely drank but went out on a Friday and drank heavily, even once, it can do damage to your liver that is still perceptible months afterwards.

It is almost unbelievable the amount of damage heavy drinking does to you. You don't even have to be an alcoholic i.e. have a dependency on alcohol, all you have to do is drink heavily and it cuts your life down to death occuring in the near future depending on how often you consume alcohol and the quantities of alcohol you consume.


He's is probably killing himself.:(

MistyCheese

Well, you are asking us to believe that you have friends, so it's more like (imaginary)1 plus (imaginary)1 = (imaginary)2.

I'm excellent at imaginary math.

Shryke

I get that he's your friend but you don't want to wade into that mess. Just go your own way. He'll sort himself out or he won't, there's no good way for you to go about what you're asking. Start with any kind of talk and you're only going to fall out.

bfocusd

Get him a girlfriend, he'll have her to occupy him and will hopefully change his routine, thus changing his drinking habits.

That or try arrange stuff that doesnt revolve around drink, maybe have a one to one chat too and say your thinking of cutting down and see if he follows you...

You cant just stop him drinking and if he realises it's what your trying to do he may drink more to point out he can handle it..

Dempsey

MyKeyG wrote: »

Your mate knows in his heart that he's over drinking. The problem for you is you don't know why he's doing it and that's what will scupper any genuine approach to help.

This is the crux of the matter, the heavy drinking is only a symptom of the real problem.

Rock and a hard place springs to mind

Defiler Of The Coffin

Sindri wrote: »

You should tell him heavy drinking usually results in a decrease of how long you can expect to live. It's not drinking that's bad, it can be good, it's heavy drinking that is extremely unhealthy and kills.


If for instance you rarely drank but went out on a Friday and drank heavily, even once, it can do damage to your liver that is still perceptible months afterwards.

It is almost unbelievable the amount of damage heavy drinking does to you. You don't even have to be an alcoholic i.e. have a dependency on alcohol, all you have to do is drink heavily and it cuts your life down to death occuring in the near future depending on how often you consume alcohol and the quantities of alcohol you consume.


He's is probably killing himself.:(

Yes, read an article on the BBC news site about the effects of alcohol abuse on the body, very depressing stuff. Looks the like the damage may be done and he's only in his mid-20s.

Shanotheslayer

Sindri wrote: »

Plus he sounds a bit of a knob.

Bit harsh considering hes suffering from a disease which effects how he acts.

MyKeyG

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

He doesn't have any wife or kids so it's only really himself that he's harming. He's as stubborn as a mule as well. We used to be best friends but he has more interest in hanging around with idiots getting pissed instead of doing something constructive outside the pub. It's rare that we do something that doesn't involve drinking.

Not sure if he realises the damage he's doing to himself, even if I could say something that would make him think it would be helpful

Unless he has the IQ of a plank of wood he knows exactly what he's doing to himself. What excess alcohol does to your body is more than sufficiently publicised. He knows but my guess is he's procrastinating, 'ah I'm young, I'm enjoying myself, I'll slow down in a few years when life starts getting serious no permanent damage done'.

My cholesterol was sky high and my liver enzymes were in triple figures. I kept telling myself 'I'm a young man, I'll go to the gym, I'll cut down on the drink, the danger is repairable, I'll cop on next week'.

Something will more than likely happen to make him come to his senses at some stage hopefully it doesn't come too painful or too late. For me it was a grand mal seizure!

MyKeyG

MistyCheese wrote: »

Well, you are asking us to believe that you have friends, so it's more like (imaginary)1 plus (imaginary)1 = (imaginary)2.

I'm excellent at imaginary math.

Are you any good at not being an imbecile? Or do you find trolling a successful enterprise?

Sindri

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

Bit harsh considering hes suffering from a disease which effects how he acts.

Yeah, beingaknobbitis.


:cool:

MistyCheese

MyKeyG wrote: »

Are you any good at not being an imbecile? Or do you find trolling a successful enterprise?

I hate when people **** all over something but can't stand the smell of people ****ting on them.

Defiler Of The Coffin

MyKeyG wrote: »

Unless he has the IQ of a plank of wood he knows exactly what he's doing to himself. What excess alcohol does to your body is more than sufficiently publicised. He knows but my guess is he's procrastinating, 'ah I'm young, I'm enjoying myself, I'll slow down in a few years when life starts getting serious no permanent damage done'.

My cholesterol was sky high and my liver enzymes were in triple figures. I kept telling myself I'm a young man, I'll go to the gym, I'll cut down on the drink, the danger is repairable, I'll cop on next week'.

Something will more than likely happen to make him come to his senses at some stage hopefully it doesn't come too painful or too late. For me it was a grand mal seizure!

I'm not sure the effects of alcohol are that well publicised, given the amount of heavy-drinkers we have in this country. Most people probably know that alcohol can cause damage, just not how much damage. Personally I wasn't aware how bad it can get until I read this article which tells us the following:

Long term, it increases the risk of developing a long list of health conditions including breast cancer, oral cancers, heart disease, strokes and cirrhosis of the liver.

Research shows that a high alcohol intake can also damage our mental health, impair memory skills and reduce fertility.

Perhaps better education is required, not just increasing the minimum price of a unit?

danbreslin

****ing let him die.If he can drink twenty pints and not die,im sure he'd be able to take a drunken bullet to the head.

eternal

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

Is there any way to tell a friend he's drinking to excess in a sensitive manner? Friend of mine has been overdoing the sauce for a good few years now. The night he finished the leaving cert he downed 20 pints. He has a talent for finding sh*thole pubs that serve cheap drink. One of the pubs he found even had an 80 year old man barred, it was that bad. Another night he got in a row with a taxi-driver because he couldn't find anywhere open that would serve drink, and still demanded payment for the trip.

He has this idea that heavy-drinking is synonymous with being a big tough guy and legitimises him as a man. How to broach the issue before his liver packs up and moves for less booze-soaked shores?

Tell him straight out, that is what a real friend would do. He will not like it though

MyKeyG

MistyCheese wrote: »

I hate when people **** all over something but can't stand the smell of people ****ting on them.

At what point did I **** over anything? I replied to the OP's question using an example. You responded with some pointless obvious drivel. I pointed that out and you rejoined with some ridiculous attack on my social relationships. I correctly pointed out that you were a troll and an imbecile.

Shanotheslayer

Sindri wrote: »

Yeah, beingaknobbitis.


:cool:

Sh!t it must be contagious, i think you caught a dose

Sindri

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

Sh!t it must be contagious, i think you caught a dose

Whatever unresolved issues you may have with your mother and alcohol please be so kind as to not subject me to them.

Shanotheslayer

Sindri wrote: »

Whatever unresolved issues you may have with your mother and alcohol please be so kind as to not subject me to them.

I have no issues with my mother and alcohol I was simple stating that your comment was harsh as you clearly don't know the effect of alcoholism if it makes you call them a knob, that is all.

Sindri

Shanotheslayer wrote: »

I have no issues with my mother and alcohol I was simple stating that your comment was harsh as you clearly don't know the effect of alcoholism if it makes you call them a knob, that is all.

I am very familiar with the effects of alcohol, thank you for pointing out though that I am not. I would not have known otherwise. That is all.


:rolleyes:

MyKeyG

Sindri wrote: »

I am very familiar with the effects of alcohol, thank you for pointing out though that I am not. I would not have known otherwise. That is all.


:rolleyes:

You can't call someone a knob for having a problem with alcohol and expect people to accept you have a balanced empathetic view no matter how much eye rolling you do!!!

cruiser178

TheZohan wrote: »

Honest answer; you can't. He'll have to learn for himself. If you tell him you guys will just fall out.

If your mate has his wits "still about him" then maybe the Zohan's way is the way to go, but if your mate is a genuine alcholic in the making, then as a friend, personially, I think you should grab the bull by the horns and tell him what an ass hole he is been when drunk.

Take this from experience, you dont want to try give your mate your own toupence worth, when rehab is'nt working any more (not saying your friend is that far gone) try reach him before he hits that very short slippery road. Been there, seen it, done it, glad i had good friends around me when i went through rehab 5 years ago.

Sindri

MyKeyG wrote: »

You can't call someone a knob for having a problem with alcohol and expect people to accept you have a balanced empathetic view no matter how much eye rolling you do!!!

Didn't call him a knob for his alcohol problem but for the reasons why the OP gave for why he suffers from an alcohol problem, namely trying to be an 'ard man.

policarp

Sindri wrote: »

I am very familiar with the effects of alcohol,

:rolleyes:

MyKeyG

Sindri wrote: »

Didn't call him a knob for his alcohol problem but for the reasons why the OP gave for why he suffers from an alcohol problem, namely trying to be an 'ard man.

Says him! That could just be a cover for depression or any one of a number of other reasons that cause people to drink to excess.

Sindri

MyKeyG wrote: »

Says him! That could just be a cover for depression or any one of a number of other reasons that cause people to drink to excess.

I am well aware of the reasons for consuming alcohol due to depression thank you very much and all the other reasons. That is all.


:rolleyes:

MyKeyG

Sindri wrote: »

I am well aware of the reasons for consuming alcohol due to depression thank you very much and all the other reasons. That is all.


:rolleyes:

Seriously the trolls are out in force on this thread:rolleyes:

Sindri

MyKeyG wrote: »

Seriously the trolls are out in force on this thread:rolleyes:

I resent that accusation and will report it. That is all.



:rolleyes:

flanum

my god op, get your own life.. im 42 and ive exhaled in one breath those shenanigans you speak of, i fully intend to carry on enjoying my jars and having a great auld life to a very ripe age, btw its 5:52am now and im skulling a can, but im not at work till 2pm cos im on the late shift... ffs... life is for living, not regretting that ye didnt party harder... as long as ye dont hurt anybody else thats the main thing!

MyKeyG

flanum wrote: »

my god op, get your own life.. im 42 and ive exhaled in one breath those shenanigans you speak of, i fully intend to carry on enjoying my jars and having a great auld life to a very ripe age, btw its 5:52am now and im skulling a can, but im not at work till 2pm cos im on the late shift... ffs... life is for living, not regretting that ye didnt party harder... as long as ye dont hurt anybody else thats the main thing!

Glad you're living your life at 42. Enjoy sh1tting in a bag at 50!

The Snipe

RichieC wrote: »

Somehow I doubt a 17 yo drank 20 pints.

I did it when I was 17

gcgirl

It's clear he has self esteem issues, he must hate himself so much internally to be self harming like he does, the doctor would be first call and then John of gods for drying out

danbreslin

danbreslin wrote: »

****ing let him die.If he can drink twenty pints and not die,im sure he'd be able to take a drunken bullet to the head.

Aaah good morning AH.


Anyway, with personal experience with friends who are alcoholics, the only thing you can do is point out the problem and say you are worried about it.

Find out where the closest AA group is and call to a meeting and ask for advice on how you would approach the issue.

Then the rest is up to him.

Ellis Dee

It sounds to me like he's on his way to a Darwin Award, just that he's taking a somewhat slower route than most.;) There's no point talking to someone like him. The only hope, and it is a slim one, is that he will have a severe medical crisis or be in a terrible accident, and yet survive and then cop himself on.:rolleyes:

Otherwise, he will just go on his merry way for a few years and, knocking back 20 pints in a session, there won't be a lot going on in the boner department, so his genes won't be added to the human pool.:)

sbsquarepants

Sindri wrote: »

You should tell him heavy drinking usually results in a decrease of how long you can expect to live. It's not drinking that's bad, it can be good, it's heavy drinking that is extremely unhealthy and kills.


If for instance you rarely drank but went out on a Friday and drank heavily, even once, it can do damage to your liver that is still perceptible months afterwards.

It is almost unbelievable the amount of damage heavy drinking does to you. You don't even have to be an alcoholic i.e. have a dependency on alcohol, all you have to do is drink heavily and it cuts your life down to death occuring in the near future depending on how often you consume alcohol and the quantities of alcohol you consume.


He's is probably killing himself.:(

Come off it would you!
We all know it's bad for you, but this kind of histerical nonsense doesn't help. Yes drinking heavily is not good for you in any way, but "death in the near future" is hardly a foregone conclusion!!

Pissmire

Most of you probably have similar experience. Quite a few lads in my town, six or seven that I can think of, died from cirrhosis. Their skin turned yellow, their eyes turned yellow, they swelled up. Some tried to stop, the improvement was noticeable. But then they went back to drinking again and it killed them. All died around their early forties.

Does your friend work? If he does, how does he manage to hold down a job? If he doesn't, how can he afford to drink so much?

Doesn't sound like he has much of a future.

Father Damo

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

Is there any way to tell a friend he's drinking to excess in a sensitive manner? Friend of mine has been overdoing the sauce for a good few years now. The night he finished the leaving cert he downed 20 pints. He has a talent for finding sh*thole pubs that serve cheap drink. One of the pubs he found even had an 80 year old man barred, it was that bad. Another night he got in a row with a taxi-driver because he couldn't find anywhere open that would serve drink, and still demanded payment for the trip.

He has this idea that heavy-drinking is synonymous with being a big tough guy and legitimises him as a man. How to broach the issue before his liver packs up and moves for less booze-soaked shores?

As long as he isnt doing this well into his 30s or causing trouble regularly I dont see a problem as long as it isnt every night. 20 pints on his LC night, so fookin what! Here in Oz we have all night bars and clubs, we often start Saturday afternoon and finish up Sunday night without a wink of sleep. Living while we are still young. The thought of having to go home at 2:30am like back home is pretty alien by now.

Defiler Of The Coffin

flanum wrote: »

my god op, get your own life.. im 42 and ive exhaled in one breath those shenanigans you speak of, i fully intend to carry on enjoying my jars and having a great auld life to a very ripe age, btw its 5:52am now and im skulling a can, but im not at work till 2pm cos im on the late shift... ffs... life is for living, not regretting that ye didnt party harder... as long as ye dont hurt anybody else thats the main thing!

You sound like a relation of mine that carried on the same... "We're here for a good time not a long time" was his mantra. We buried him last year, age 52.