Cat never wants to be alone

u_c_thesecond

I posted here a few weeks ago because we adopted a cat we thought may have been abused by the last owners. He has since settled in to ok though Im pulling my hair out over him because he seems to be terrified of being alone.

He follows me everywhere- to the bathroom and all, and he screams and wails outside the door until I am finished, its only with me he does it with. He could be in a room full of people and once he sees me leave hes after me. Its a constant thing, in the bathroom, when im cleaning ( iv tripped twice this week from him being under my feet constantly) I spilled tea on him 3 days ago because the minute I got up off the sofa he flew over and tried to hop into my arms and ended up getting destroyed in tea (luckly it was lukewarm at that stage)

But night times the worst, he has 3 beds in 3 different areas of the house but he wants to sleep in with us, and he will sit outside our bedroom door and wail for hours, and lately he had started ramming himself against the bedroom door in temper.

I cant have a bath with him either, because even when my husbands there to occupy him when im in the bath hes still screaming at the door:(

I don’t know what to do with him. We have only had him a month and I litterly cant go to the loo without him:(

paddyandy

Very interesting tell us more .Any other peculiar ways ?

Narsil

Aw the poor thing!

Another cat for company may solve the problem? I'm sure there is a super friendly adult cat in your local shelter waiting for a home:)

SpyderCats

Aww It sounds like he is terrified that you are going to run off and leave him and he desperately wants you to love him. I read quickly through your last thread about him and judging by his behaviour now it sounds like he was let down by someone he really loved at some stage. Unfortunately it could take some time before he feels secure and trusts you not to run away from him. Does he have any interest in playing? maybe some toys will keep him entertained, also have you tried catnip? My cat's go wild for it and get hours of pleasure from it. Hope this helps

ciarang85

my bro has had his cat for 7 years now and its the exact same since the day he got the cat, she is like his shadow:pac:

i'm sure you will just get used to it, i'm not sure if there is anything you can do

Micko43

Spydercats,what is catnip?Often looking for ideas to entertain our two cats!

sambuka41

Poor you, and poor little guy. I'd say he is still adjusting to a new home and he's become attached to you. I know how it feels though when you can't get any space for yourself (in my case its a dog) it can be draining. But its only draining because you care about him. It may take him a while longer to figure out that when you leave the room you will come back.

For my dogs separation anxiety I was advised to not let her follow me from room to room. It upset her in the beginning when I closed the door behind me but she's getting to be ok with it now. Not sure if it works the same with cats but maybe try it? (you'll have to be strong about the crying though,leave him crying and only go back when he stops)

As for the bathroom thing, I think thats just cats!!!!!!:p My guys has a weird obsession about the bathroom and wanting to know what goes on!! My friends cat is the same!!

Vince32

Sounds familiar, only I don't have a cat, but a dog, and she follows me everywhere, even to the bathroom, she managed to get in once while I was doing onezies and was very interested. Long story short, later that day I went in to find a steaming load waiting for me on the floor. I thought awhh how cute is that! she wants to use the big girls toilet

Later that week we installed a baby gate on the stairs, and went up until she barked and howled, and then came back down about 1/2 way. Once she seen me she knew I wasn't far away, over a week or so, I managed to separate her from me, now every time I'm upstairs she just sits and waits for me, no crying.

I know cats and dogs are different in alot of ways, but this might work for you, and help you successfully separate the cat from you. Once it learns the value of independence you might miss the lil git lol.

What ever you decide to do, good luck with it

u_c_thesecond

Narsil wrote: »

Aw the poor thing!

Another cat for company may solve the problem? I'm sure there is a super friendly adult cat in your local shelter waiting for a home:)

Cant afford another cat- what with injections and pet insurance we could just about afford this lil guy

u_c_thesecond

SpyderCats wrote: »

Does he have any interest in playing? maybe some toys will keep him entertained, also have you tried catnip? My cat's go wild for it and get hours of pleasure from it. Hope this helps

He gets hours of playing from my hubby and me, and when my young neices pop over a few times a week they tire him out. Cat has more toys than i have socks;) He goes out sometimes during the day and will play himself in the garden for a while but when he comes back in he latches on to me again.

Ya i was thinking maybe he was abandoned at some stage allright, but its so draining having him hanging out of me

Whats catnip?I heard that its like drugs for cats, is that not dangerous??

SpyderCats

Micko43 wrote: »

Spydercats,what is catnip?Often looking for ideas to entertain our two cats!

Hey Micko43
Catnip is a herb (I think) you can buy it most pet shops, it comes in a packet and look like louse tobacco, I've got some small soft toys that I take the stuffing out of and then re-stuff the toys with catnip and stitch them back up. My cats go wild, they go into a state of Ecstasy lol. A lot of cat toy's are scented with it but you will get a much better reaction from the pure catnip.

SpyderCats

No its not dangerous but it is like a drug for cat's My vet gave it to me a couple of year's ago, one of my cat's had been very unwell and he was getting his stitches out and I've been using it (not all the time) but as a treat ever since. It might help take his mind off you, most cat's love it and if he likes it as much as my cat's do, it would give you a bit of a break, at least until he settles in a bit better.

angry kitten

u_c_thesecond wrote: »

I posted here a few weeks ago because we adopted a cat we thought may have been abused by the last owners. He has since settled in to ok though Im pulling my hair out over him because he seems to be terrified of being alone.

He follows me everywhere- to the bathroom and all, and he screams and wails outside the door until I am finished, its only with me he does it with. He could be in a room full of people and once he sees me leave hes after me. Its a constant thing, in the bathroom, when im cleaning ( iv tripped twice this week from him being under my feet constantly) I spilled tea on him 3 days ago because the minute I got up off the sofa he flew over and tried to hop into my arms and ended up getting destroyed in tea (luckly it was lukewarm at that stage)

But night times the worst, he has 3 beds in 3 different areas of the house but he wants to sleep in with us, and he will sit outside our bedroom door and wail for hours, and lately he had started ramming himself against the bedroom door in temper.

I cant have a bath with him either, because even when my husbands there to occupy him when im in the bath hes still screaming at the door:(

I don’t know what to do with him. We have only had him a month and I litterly cant go to the loo without him:(

Hi, I think the best thing you can do is buy a cat pheremone called Feliway. It's designed to ease stressed out cats and works brilliantly for my 2. Its a plug in like an air freshner but humans can't smell it. Not cheap, about 30 euro if I get it from my vets when I need it urgently but you can buy it cheaper online about 14 euro. Definitely give it a try, I think it'll really help.

OwaynOTT

We have a cat that whines outside her bedroom door in the morning to wake us up. The funny thing is if he knows my other half is gone, he modulates his whine so it sounds like he's calling my name.
He does it all the time in the morning even if he isn't hungry.
Another one has figured how to open doors and she is the worse for hugs and not letting you read or use laptop.

Chuck Stone

Maybe if you got another cat he would focus on him?

I haven't a clue though tbh so take this suggestion with a pinch of salt.

SpyderCats

I have an idea that might work, you could try some Reverse psychology. I was thinking about it and maybe if your cat has been abandoned by someone in the past then maybe every time you leave the room he thinks you are trying to run away from him, like when you go to the bathroom, of course you don't want the cat to accompany you, but maybe he senses this and thinks you are hiding from him. So you could try insisting that he goes everywhere with you, for example if you are going upstairs or into the kitchen or if necessary going to the bathroom, pick him up and bring him with you. This might make him feel more secure and after a few days not need your attention 24/7.

I have absolutely no idea if this will work but it might be worth a shot.

The Sweeper

When your kitty comes to be full on in your face, e.g. you're on the couch and he's on the coffee table yowling at you:

Sit neatly, in a relaxed fashion with your two hands on your lap. Look briefly directly into his eyes - count a couple of seconds - and look away, moving your whole head. Then yawn - open your mouth wide, yawning slowly - you can make a noise if you want. Do some lip-smacking after your yawn. Turn your head again, passing him without making eye contact, and looking the other way. Try yawning again.

That sequence of body language says to your cat 'Everything's fine, calm down, I'm all right, you're all right, chill out.'

Give it a go and see if it works. It also carries a gentle message of 'stop pestering me' which may help.

mymo

I would definitely try The Sweeper's suggestion, she's usually right;)
Also the cat nip can help, it makes some cats calm and content, others it can make hyper and playful, on both of mine it seems to have no effect whatsoever.
Valerian (think Holland and Barrett have it)is an oil you can get that is supposed to have a calming effect, you put a couple of drops on a tissue and let the cat sniff it, don't let it touch or lick it.
There is also a thing called rescue remedy for pets, couple of drops in the cats water can help calm them.
I'd say he just needs more time, cats can behave very strange, they develop issues at times but usually with a little understanding they can be helped.
Can I just ask are you the main caretaker? I mean do you feed and water and do litter duty?

mimder07

B careful givin ur cat valerian, essential oils can be harmful. ring ur vet n ask if its ok to use

mymo

My vet recommended it(for an extremely wild cat we were trying to tame, next stop was sedatives), just said don't let the cat touch or lick it, only sniff it.
But by all means check with your own vet. Rescue remedy would be my first choice and is often available in Boots.

u_c_thesecond

mymo wrote: »

Can I just ask are you the main caretaker? I mean do you feed and water and do litter duty?

i do it most yes though when my hubby comes back from work he does it too- but the cat would spend more time with me as im not working atm

paddyandy

Cats tire with toys but they love the laser pointer and catnip which you should try to get fresh . Looks like post trauma state going by bb12 .

bb12

i have a male cat who's a bit like that. i found him as a starving kitten. his mother and siblings had been all killed. he's got major separation anxiety. doesn't like to be on his own too much at all...i've 4 other cats and he gets on with most of them and they keep him happy but whenever he sees me he's always wailing! but the minute i pick him up and cuddle, i can see him relax and calm down immediately. i'll often let him sleep on my lap for 10-15 minutes and he seems to be content and reassured with that and will then carry on with his normal stuff.

planetX

I also have a cat like this - she was abandoned, had kittens and nearly starved to death. She has followed me around wailing since I got her, and my theory is that this is how she learned to get food from people. I know a few people were giving her bits now and then where she was living, so it's kind of her way of hunting for food - yell at humans, and she can't switch it off. I've had her nearly 6 months now and she has got much much better, maybe your cat will ease up after a time...