Changing your name when getting married

Dolbert

I won't be changing mine. I'm not fussed about it either way, but he found the idea weird, like he'd be 'branding' me Instead I'll take his initial before my surname, nice compromise. If we have kids they can have his name, as we would both prefer that.

KittyeeTrix

Married after having 4 kids with my partner. Kept my name and so did the kids. No big deal for any of us!!

littlebug

I use both names on a fairly regular basis... kinda handy sometimes except then I get confused sometimes e.g if I've made a booking in the "other" name and have to ask the person what name I gave them
The kids have my husbands surname and I only started using my husbands name when they came along. My official surname is his name (on passport) but I probably use my maiden name more and still see myself as "littlebug maiden-name". Married name for family related stuff and maiden name for just me stuff including work. Kids know me as both names.. but mostly I''m just mammy:).

As well as me using both names we also all get called both English and Irish versions of one of the surnames as well as all sorts of variations from people who can't pronounce it properly. I kind of like that:D

Jen Pigs Fly

Id only take my future husbands second name if it had a nice ring to it

Don't want an awkward sounding name.

Lady von Purple

I'd probably keep my maiden name if there were no boys in my family, since the rest of the girls plan on taking their husbands' names. (One engaged and one married, both taking the man's name.)

But I have older brothers to carry on the family name so I'd take the groom's name. I like the tradition. It's an individual thing, though.

msnd

I took my husbands last name. It hasn't been a big deal to change so far. One thing I did do was check google with my new Ms. MSND + new surname.

Autosport

I'd keep my name if I ever married cos I love my surname and if kids come along they'll be getting a double barrel name

I like us all having the same name, I cant imagine myself not having the same name as my husband. But it's whatever suits you. I was married when I was barely a toddler so I didn't have to worry about it messing up my career or the likes. I'd say it's more awkward for people getting married when they've already established themselves with their own name.

kelle

I'm married 15 years and for the first 5 years kept my maiden name and used it everywhere.

My son was born, and registered under my maiden name despite applying for him to have my husband's surname. It took a couple of weeks (and I was told a change might not be possible, despite it being the Registrant's fault!), but eventually he was issued a new cert with the new surname! So when my next 2 children were born, I used my married name to avoid this happening again.

I've since changed my passport and driver's licence to my married name. Then I had to change my name on my credit card because I was hiring a car in France, and they're very fussy about the name on the credit card and driver's Licence matching!

At work and on my current bank account, I still use my maiden name (because changing surname appears to f**k up our Payroll Dept and you might go weeks without pay - it did happen before!)

I get confused when signing forms, I have to check which surname I'm using!

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I'm getting married in May and he's got such a gorgeous surname I couldn't not take it! For work and professional purposes I will probably keep my birth surname but for everything else I will be Mrs......! Double barrelled names are a no-no for me.

I wouldn't be content with keeping a surname like Fluff either!

Bad Panda

It seems a lot of women are all for keeping their names/other women keeping their names..unless the future husbands name is 'better'. :rolleyes: Well done, you've zero integrity.

For me, you do it because it's something you want to do in the spirit of tradition or if it means more to one party than it does to the other. Or if it's just all the family having the one name - you know, practical reasons.

losthorizon

I took my wife's name of Murphy. Eoin Murphy has a nice ring to it. Goal was a stupid surname anyway.

Lady Chatterton

I kept my maiden name when I got married as it is quite unusual and not very common in Ireland. It is handy for work too as my qualifications are in my maiden name. In fact the only time I use my married name is here on boards - Mrs. D!

MrSausage

I never insisted but the landlady changed it-her own decision totally. Her being a fordinner- to say the least it making things difficult from her end, Mrs. Sausauge? Lucky she wasn't sent to a Gulag:D

Stereomaniac

My mother named me after her surname (O'Connor), Conor. I was terrified as a child that if they got divorced my name would be Conor O'Connor. Thankfully they waited til I was older.

wilkie2006

Giselle wrote: »

I'd probably take my (fictional) husbands name....

If his name is something like Dick or Sidebottom, maybe not.

What about Dickbottom?

wilkie2006

Andromeda_111 wrote: »

I changed my surname to my husbands after I got married. I had no problem with it at all. I didn't feel like I was losing any part of my identity, in fact I felt that we were united as a 'mini' family, name 'n' all.

Not trying to antagonise but - in the interest of being united as a 'mini' family - would you not have asked/expected your husband to take your name?

Not looking to row with anyone, I just think it's an interesting question.

Gerty

Carla: Turk? If I decide to keep my last name after we get married, that's no big deal, right?

Turk: Course not baby. We'll just have one of those modern marriages where the husband and wife don't love each other

LH Pathe

Upon splitting up.. which is all I see those who I'd rather have kept their fathers surnames folks got divorced n those who I'd rather not just parted ways.

cathybaby

I think this depends,everyone has different ideas about this ,it must depends

dark crystal

Yeah, I'll take my husband's name when we're married. I've never considered not doing so.

psycho-hope

Ill either keep my name or go double barrel, im the last in line of my family so Id like to pass the name on if i have sons, luckily himself couldn't give a fiddlers what name i use

Jesus Wept

Double barrelling is a humanity crime.

Susie_Q

Poll doesn't give any option for giving the kids the mother's name - why not?

I don't want to take my OH's name. He doesn't want to take mine. We will either retain our own surnames or else BOTH change to a new surname that we pick together.

Also no way will our kids automatically get his surname (he he retains his original name) - they're my kids just as much as they are his ffs!

Father Damo

Double barreled surnames are the mark of the wanker. Obviously not the kids faulty but by the time a person hits their teens they really ought to realise that putting down your name dbl barrelled just makes you look like an elitist twat.

hondasam

Susie_Q wrote: »

Poll doesn't give any option for giving the kids the mother's name - why not?

I don't want to take my OH's name. He doesn't want to take mine. We will either retain our own surnames or else BOTH change to a new surname that we pick together.

Also no way will our kids automatically get his surname (he he retains his original name) - they're my kids just as much as they are his ffs!

Ye are going to invent a name that has no meaning or tradition at all, why bother?
Will you want your children to do the same thing and just keep making up family names and discarding them?

This is before the kids are even born, I would hate to have this attitude tbh.

Kooli

I didn't change my surname and I don't believe women should change their surnames (not an option in the poll!)

The tradition of a woman changing her surname means that when you name your son you are giving him his name for life, but when you name your daughter you are giving her a 'temporary' name which may change in future if she's lucky enough to find a husband. Does that idea really not bother anyone?

Just like I would never use Miss or Mrs (why oh why oh why should my name be a signal to whether I have married someone or not???), I also don't feel my name should be marriage-dependent.

By the way, when I say I don't believe women should change their names, I do respect a woman's right to do as she chooses. But my respect for that right goes down a lot when they say 'I never really thought about it'.

mikemac1

Susie_Q wrote: »

Poll doesn't give any option for giving the kids the mother's name - why not?

Because the OP gave six options instead of sixty
Not every weird and wonderful option can be covered

Susie_Q wrote: »

BOTH change to a new surname that we pick together.

I'm not good at thinking of witty examples but you'd change Murphy and Ryan to Muran?

There's a reason there is no option for that in the poll
It's so mad nobody would do it

Kooli wrote: »

I didn't change my surname and I don't believe women should change their surnames (not an option in the poll!)

What do you think case by case basis means?
You make the decision when you are there

Kooli

mikemac1 wrote: »

Not every weird and wonderful option can be covered

Yes true, but the fact that you would think children taking their mother's name, or women keeping their own names generally (not 'case by case') are 'weird and wonderful' is actually quite telling (rather than it just being 'nitpicking')

Kooli

mikemac1 wrote: »

What do you think case by case basis means?
You make the decision when you are there

There's a big difference between 'women should keep their own names' and 'women should decide on a case by case basis'!

mikemac1

Weird and wonderful was the option of inventing a brand new surname from Susie.

I didn't quote you with weird and wonderful

Kooli wrote: »

There's a big difference between 'women should keep their own names' and 'women should decide on a case by case basis'!

There is a traditional option and not so traditional
Pm the mod if you want it changed, you're the sixth poster on this thread moaning over it

annieoburns

I do not get too excited about this issue, more important stuff in the world to worry about.

Sure is not a woman's name just that of her father, another man??

In some cultures, it is the woman whose name is passed down.

Legally you can be whatever name you wish to be known as and similarly children can adopt whatever one they wish in later life or even change the spelling of same if they wish.

But in this day of serial marriages/relationships and multiple siblings of different parentage, it is good to reinforce the family unit with all sharing a family name or alternatively different ones to distinguish the half and step siblings.