Speaking to child in 2 languages - Parents

the_djoker

Hi,
I'm Irish and live in Barcelona and myself and my gf have a son (2 months) .
She is Spanish and speaks Catalan to him - I speak English to him.

I know it's early days but I am a little concerned, my friend here has a 3.5 year old boy and is in the same situation.

But his son won't speak English despite him always speaking english to him,
They say the kid is embarrased ??? but this wouldn't account for the kid not speaking to his dad when alone ?


Since we live here in Spain we are planning to have more english material in the home - as well as TV (all films will be in VO).

So really I'm asking for people on boards who are in the same situation ,
if you have a kid in a foreign country , how is his/her English ?

or to non English speakers in Ireland - how is your kids "other native tongue"


Particularly im interested in couples who speak different languages natively


Thanks .

JuliusCaesar

Everyone in my family is at least bilingual and a good few trilingual. It hasn't been a problem. Kids go through phases and stick to one eg I speak French, he replies in English (usually the language spoken in the country they're living) and that can last a good long while. I'd one who barked (yes, barked like a dog!) for a year at about that age. I asked her recently why she'd done it and she couldn't really explain it - "it just seemed a good idea at the time".

SurferRosa

Hi the_djoker,
I grew up in a bi-lingual home ( German+English). I spent the early part of my life in Germany, and the rest here in Ireland.
While in Germany, I kind of rejected English. My mother always spoke it to me, but I refused to answer her. That said, when I moved here, it turned out that I did understand everything, and was fluent in 2 months.
After I moved to Ireland I wasn't too keen on the German anymore, and only spoke it when alone with my dad. I too felt embarrassed, and didn't want to be different.
It depends on the kid though, I was shy and hated extra attention. I have a cousin half Austrian/half Irish, raised in Austria, who loved growing up with two languages, and speaks both German and English with perfect native accents.
Once I realised that my fluent German could get me extra points in the leaving, I realised it was quite good to be bi-lingual. In fact English, French and Irish were my best subjects in school despite starting to learn Irish later than most kids. So exposing your kid to an extra language early on really does have its benefits.

As it happens, I'm married to a Swede. We have 2 kids,and the eldest (3) generally speaks English, but also some Swedish, can distinguish between the two languages, and understands everything his father says.
I would say it's very important to keep at it on the language front. If your child wont speak English back to you, I would stay stubborn and refuse to speak Spanish. My dad did this with my sister, when she kept saying she didn't understand (German), he eventually caved and said it in English. She now has a strong English dialect, and less German than me.
I actually also know of two Spanish ladies living here married to Irish men with young kids. They only speak Spanish and meet other Spanish women. Their kids mainly speak English, but understand Spanish, and I'm sure when they visit Spain, they will be able to speak more than their parents would imagine.
Right better go, as this is turning into an essay.
Good luck, and keep going with the reading materials/ DVDs etc. He'll be grateful when he's older and fluent at 2 languages!

pickarooney

My son (4) is more or less completely bilingual (Irish father, French mother, we live in France) and has been more or less since he started speaking. He was a little late starting but once he did he caught up and overtook most of the other kids.

My daughter is 2.5 and although she understands English perfectly will rarely speak it. She did initially start speaking both languages simultaneously but at one point just rejected English. It's kind of frustrating but I don't suppose it will last too long and she'll probably just start speaking when she has to, i.e. whenever we go to Ireland again.

the_djoker

Thanks all , admins maybe this should be moved to the parenting forum ?
I was meant to post it there - thanks

qwertytlk

Welll one good thing is your child will be fluent in 2 languages. Lucky little thing:) that has so many advantages when he gets older, such as school and in exmas etc. Also when he is an adult, in employment and for travelling etc.

mikemac1

Children are sponges and will picking up the Catalan and English no bother.

I know my younger brothers and sisters and me too had a stage when we knew more Irish then English.
Thinking about it English is certainly not the easiest language out there

Your child may go through some phases and avoid English with you but that'll pass.

Ickle Magoo

Moved from PI at OP's request. :cool:

biko

My sister and her husband speaks two languages to their 4 kids, 5-14yo, and it's never been a problem.
The kids will answer in one language but understand both perfectly and are also fluent in both.
I.e. they will learn both fluently but prefer one to the other.

Sleepy

My uncle was in the same boat as yourself almost 18 years ago. He spoke English to his sons, his wife spoke Spanish. Although their Spanish is far stronger, they can follow a conversation in English without any trouble (though it seems to make it easier for them if you've a heavy Dublin accent like their father lol) and, while their spoken English is a little halting at present, can get their point across without too much trouble. I'd guess if they spent a few months here, they'd have total fluency in English.

Keep it up OP, the benefits of bilingualism are well documented.

the_djoker

biko wrote: »

My sister and her husband speaks two languages to their 4 kids, 5-14yo, and it's never been a problem.
The kids will answer in one language but understand both perfectly and are also fluent in both.
I.e. they will learn both fluently but prefer one to the other.

OK, but surely they will reply in the language of the parent that is speaking to them at the time ?

:eek:

this isn't encouraging ... ... I'm gonna need to set up a REGIME of english ... books, films , ALL in EN ... at least most of the books he gets as gifts will be in EN, her family is not into books ...

the_djoker

Sleepy wrote: »

My uncle was in the same boat as yourself almost 18 years ago. He spoke English to his sons, his wife spoke Spanish. Although their Spanish is far stronger, they can follow a conversation in English without any trouble (though it seems to make it easier for them if you've a heavy Dublin accent like their father lol) and, while their spoken English is a little halting at present, can get their point across without too much trouble. I'd guess if they spent a few months here, they'd have total fluency in English.

Keep it up OP, the benefits of bilingualism are well documented.

Really ??

They are 18 ? they should be native EN ....

Tabnabs

Do a search on this forum, it comes up many times and it a positive rather than a negative thing.

the_djoker

Tabnabs wrote: »

Do a search on this forum, it comes up many times and it a positive rather than a negative thing.

OK thanks ...

I found this aswell - is encouraging

http://www.babycenter.com/404_is-it-true-that-children-in-bilingual-families-start-talking_10336897.bc

Sleepy

the_djoker wrote: »

Really ??

They are 18 ? they should be native EN ....

It's lack of opportunity really, they're 18 and 15 but have only been to Ireland the once.

the_djoker

Sleepy wrote: »

It's lack of opportunity really, they're 18 and 15 but have only been to Ireland the once.

Yes but (and im not passing judgment here) I would have thought if the father speaks to them all the time in EN , then they would be fluent ?

Sleepy

Honestly, I don't think he's spoken to them in English 100% of the time. They would pretty much always have answered in Spanish even when he spoke to them in English.

I'm not saying they don't speak very, very good English. It just would be fluid or natural enough to be classified as fluent imo.

the_djoker

OK, makes sense.

I'm gonna need to be persistent then and insist, but i need to find a balance
I dont want him ending up hating English by forcing it on him ...

tightrope...

Sleepy

Just make sure you always speak in English when you're talking to him and, if possible, bring him home as often as possible where he'll be in an environment where he has to use English

The Corinthian

I lived in Italy for the first part of my childhood and my mother, who's Irish, always spoke to me in English. As with many children of bilingual environments I really didn't bother speaking anything other than Italian, although I could understand English fairly well. This meant that when we finally moved to Ireland to live, I was fluent in about three months - my accent took longer to change.

My sister moved from Italy as an infant, so that while she is not as 'fluent' in Italian as me, she certainly could always understand it without issue.

My own experience is that it does sink in, although some kids can be either too lazy and/or unsure to use the non-local language. However, you do have to keep up the use of the non-local language as it can get rusty, though lack of use and/or result in dated vocabulary.

the_djoker

The Corinthian wrote: »

I lived in Italy for the first part of my childhood and my mother, who's Irish, always spoke to me in English. As with many children of bilingual environments I really didn't bother speaking anything other than Italian, although I could understand English fairly well. This meant that when we finally moved to Ireland to live, I was fluent in about three months - my accent took longer to change.

My sister moved from Italy as an infant, so that while she is not as 'fluent' in Italian as me, she certainly could always understand it without issue.

My own experience is that it does sink in, although some kids can be either too lazy and/or unsure to use the non-local language. However, you do have to keep up the use of the non-local language as it can get rusty, though lack of use and/or result in dated vocabulary.

Did you speak to your Mam in English tho ?

pickarooney

the_djoker wrote: »

OK, makes sense.

I'm gonna need to be persistent then and insist, but i need to find a balance
I dont want him ending up hating English by forcing it on him ...

tightrope...

While my daughter will invariably answer me in French although I speak to her in English I've found she will use English when she's imitating something, such as pretending to read an English book. The other day she performed a puppet show entirely in English as she'd seen her brother do the same. She screwed up the ending though and one of the puppet's accent was less than convincing.

Gareth2011

My brother married a spanish girl and they live here in Ireland and always have. Both my brother and his wife have always spoke to the kids in Spanish and English and the kids know both languages but they also go to an Irish school. So the kids can speak fluent English, Fluent Irish and fluent Spanish. I think its great that they can. They will talk in English around my family but with a few spanish phrases thrown in but I don't know what they are like when in their own house. Maybe they speak all the languages or maybe just spanish or maybe just english.

The Corinthian

the_djoker wrote: »

Did you speak to your Mam in English tho ?

No, I think I was clear that I wasn't terribly interested in speaking to her in anything other than Italian as a small child. I didn't see the point - after all, she could understand Italian - so it was only when I moved to Ireland that there was a reason to improve my English (apparently this was so I could understand the cartoons).

Nowadays we tend to speak in either, switching from one to the other and back again. The same with my sister, in particular when out together. With my father I speak only Italian.

the_djoker

OK, i might act like i dont understand him -- that will get him to speak to me in english...

LegacyUser

My brothers and I were born and raised in Italy (our father is Irish and our mother is Italian). After we were born and to this day our father always spoke English to us. My brothers had no problem responding to him in English. My brothers started to speak English quite young according to my mother. On the other hand, I was the opposite. I just couldn’t speak it; it felt weird as if the words were not able to come out of my mouth. I understood English well and was able to read it but speaking it was harder for me at the time. In fact, I was able to speak French and German and excelled at that more. I thought it was an English speech impediment...lol But it was not until I was 15 and decided to go live with my uncle for a year. I was surprised how fast I was able to speak English proficiently! TBH, I think it was being in total immersion for that period of time that helped the most. It is so different to have to respond in English because I could no longer get away with doing it in Italian .

I can speak English with more ease than ever but I still respond to my father in Italian who still speaks to me in English . It's just that it’s my language of preference and how I always communicate with him.

My suggestion to you would be persistent, patient and give lots of encouragement. Sending your children to Ireland as often as you can would be the most beneficial. We would go at least once a year whether for Christmas holidays or a month in the summer. It didn’t work as much to my advantage as it did for my brothers. I needed more exposure than them. Various Irish relatives would come visit us which also kept the English flowing more in the house. With me my father wasn’t very good with the encouraging side. But better being persistent which did eventually pay off. I study at QUB now and can get through my programme without problems and I am even studying my fifth language-Irish!

Each and every child’s learning curve is going to be different. If you don’t want your children to have a funny accent….lol Make sure they speak English well before the age of twelve. I read somewhere that this is when a child can speak another language without having a foreign accent. As far as our accents, my brothers sound like they were born and bred Irish. Unfortunately, I was not as lucky I speak English with predominantly an Italian accent mixed with a wee Belfast accent

beazee

Polish couple raising Irish born 2.5 yo boy. Polish being only language spoken at home (except when visited by non-polish speaking friends). Most of books, cartoons and TV is in English. While elders at work the little fella spends ca. 35hrs a week in the creche/preschool, started soon after 6th month of age.

English seems to be his primary language (most his friends, all of them babysitters, TV and cartoons; all them speaking English) and most cases he gets us surprised is by naming things in English not Polish. Sometimes I feel like forcing him too much repeating "auto, auto, auto" while he prefers to play with is "car, car, car'.

Personally I find this amazing when trying to calm him down, to stop him running, when Polish commands are not working English will do the trick.

Nothing we can do. It's him choosing his language. And with English being all around him it's reasonable he's picking it up quicker. And no way I'll be forced to talk to my child in English.

The Corinthian

beazee wrote: »

Nothing we can do. It's him choosing his language. And with English being all around him it's reasonable he's picking it up quicker. And no way I'll be forced to talk to my child in English.

As long as you speak to him almost exclusively in Polish, it will stick in the long run.

My father speaks almost exclusively Italian to me and to this day I prefer to do so with him, as much because he simply sounds weird to me when he speaks English.

Don't be a perfectionist though. Better your child speaks bad Polish than you give him a complex over not speaking perfect Polish. He'll have plenty of time perfect it when he's older.

biko

the_djoker wrote: »

OK, but surely they will reply in the language of the parent that is speaking to them at the time ?

No they answer in their preferred language usually. They know the parents speak both languages.
Seems a bit odd but there you are.

the_djoker

biko wrote: »

No they answer in their preferred language usually. They know the parents speak both languages.
Seems a bit odd but there you are.

Well I only speak English !! hehe unofficially


Seriously I think ill say to him "I dont understand" .... it will stick

Claire de Lune

Hi,

We are in a similar situation, I am French, my husband is Irish. Our son is 2.5, I speak exclusively French to him but because he speaks English most of the day in the creche, his English is naturally better.

Anytime he'd speak/reply to me in English, I'd correct him and make him repeat the French word/sentence. So far he's happy to repeat in French .

We are also trying to speak more French at home, especially at dinner time (which is good for my husband too!). He watches a few cartoons on youtube, I make sure they are in French. Regular contact with the French family also helps a lot, even if it's just skype.

I think it's important to be consistent, even if the child refuses to speak the language at some stage, it's probably just a phase, just keep at it. Also maybe to find an English speaking toddler group or set up one!