Speaking to child in 2 languages - Parents

07734

I'm in a similar situation to Clair de lune; 3 year old boy, I'm Irish and my wife is Italian.

We try to expose him to as much Italian as we can; all DVDs are in italian,So is the tv, (thanks to the clever folk in the foreign satellite forum here!) as are bedtime stories, etc. he gets lots of English from the crèche, my family...

The most important thing we found was to play through Italian. We joined divertitalia, an Italian playgroup, and this has brought him on in leaps and bounds as far as speaking goes (he always understood perfectly, but preferred English). One my my wife's friends, a teacher in a gaelscoil, reckons that the language a child plays through is the most important factor in which they will favour.

All a parent can do is expose the child to the language, and let them choose, I guess.

SurferRosa

I'm picking up some great tips here myself! My 3 year old chooses which book he wants at bed time. English or Swedish. He'll only accept his father reading Swedish, if I'm not available.
That said on youtube I have found him watching Micky Mouse in German, Polish, and Spanish. He doesn't even seem to notice.
I think I will also try and enforce tv only in Swedish, and would be interested to have access to Swedish kids tv too. At the moment we have a handful of DVDs.
I just wanted to add also, that my Irish/ Austrian cousin as a teenager got a job babysitting/teaching two fully Austrian girls English. Their mother just wanted them to learn the language. They were about 1.5 and 4 years old at the time. My cousin had to pretend not to speak German, and from the beginning only spoke English. I always found it strange when visting that my cousin would be whispering questions in German at shops etc, so the girls wouldn't hear her! The kids are now around 18 and 21 and speak perfect English. Of course they learned it in school too, but it was definitely my cousin that got them to that standard - and this while not even living with them. They do have German accents, but they are not that strong. It's amazing really.
In my parents household, it's a mish mash of German and English. My dad will only speak German, and me to him too. English is weird.
So my kids hear German from my father only too.
In my house with my husband - he only speaks Swedish to the kids, and as my comprehension has improved a lot in the last few years, it's at a stage now where he'll speak Swedish to the kids, and I join in the conversation in English, without needing a translastion.
To me it's normal having 2 langauges on the go all the time, but friends and other family always think it's kind of funny...

the_djoker

Cheers all, this is turning out to be a great thread ! !!

pickarooney

the_djoker wrote: »

Well I only speak English !! hehe unofficially


Seriously I think ill say to him "I dont understand" .... it will stick

I doubt it. You'll probably find he does the tourist abroad thing of speaking to you in Catalan as though you were deaf and/or stupid After all, to him you're an omnipotent adult, certainly big enough to learn a language a small child like him has mastered.

We used always have to remind our son that he needed to speak English to my parents as they didn't speak French but he would just tell us it wasn't a problem; he would simply teach them.

07734

another thing is that they'll very quickly understand the difference between the languages, but it can take a while before they know who to speak each one to! he will still speak english when we are over in italy, and like pickarooney says he just repeats himself louder when they look blankly at him! i've been told by another mum of a bilingual child it's when they get closer to 4 that they will begin to separate the languages.

we were in france recently, and i was talking to a shop assistant (in french). when i was walking away, he started asking "did the other man speak a different talk" and why. he knew that is wasn't the "talk that daddy does" or that mummy does, but a different talk. i was amazed. it's so cool!!!!

the_djoker

pickarooney wrote: »

I doubt it. You'll probably find he does the tourist abroad thing of speaking to you in Catalan as though you were deaf and/or stupid After all, to him you're an omnipotent adult, certainly big enough to learn a language a small child like him has mastered.

We used always have to remind our son that he needed to speak English to my parents as they didn't speak French but he would just tell us it wasn't a problem; he would simply teach them.

I will need to introduce some sort of award system for speaking english..

uck51js9zml2yt

I have friends working in Mozambique. Their kids grew up there and are fluent in 4 languages. English, Irish, Portuguese and the local dialect.

Ive seen them switch languages without taking a breath.

My own son will speak english and slovak and whatever other languages he learns when he starts school in a few years.

Deliverance

the_djoker wrote: »

Hi,
I'm Irish and live in Barcelona and myself and my gf have a son (2 months) .
She is Spanish and speaks Catalan to him - I speak English to him.

I know it's early days but I am a little concerned, my friend here has a 3.5 year old boy and is in the same situation.

But his son won't speak English despite him always speaking english to him,
They say the kid is embarrased ??? but this wouldn't account for the kid not speaking to his dad when alone ?


Since we live here in Spain we are planning to have more english material in the home - as well as TV (all films will be in VO).

So really I'm asking for people on boards who are in the same situation ,
if you have a kid in a foreign country , how is his/her English ?

or to non English speakers in Ireland - how is your kids "other native tongue"


Particularly im interested in couples who speak different languages natively


Thanks .

Haven't read through the thread as yet but from the initial post I hope this is somewhat useful:

My kid goes to a Gaelscoil and all the subjects are taught in Irish. I am fascinated by how this actually works but apparently it does. My kid is bi-lingual she speaks Irish at school and English at home.

Kids are adept and learn to speak in other languages easily and absorb whatever is thrown at them. It is probably better to have multiple dimensions of linguistic skills learned at an early age as it probably provides them with a lingustic skill that is an advantage in many ways.

Also it gives them an early introduction, appreciation and understanding of different cultures not to mention a developed linguistic understanding of the structure of how language works.

It is an advantage, and the kids themselves probably benefit by it in time, I'm sure my kid will swear at me at some stage in a language that I will pretend not to understand as I will secretly learn it in my own time:)

oOjimbobOo

I have friends in Sweden who have a 7 year old daughter. Her father is Swedish and her mother is Equadorian. She has learned to speak Swedsih to her father and Spanish to her mother and is learning English at school. Its really funny listening to a family row!

Seriously though, not all kids are equiped to take it all in. Another factor might be the dominance of a particular parent within the family relationship,the child might have need to communicate more with one parent than the other, and although they might understand English they would prefer to communicate in Catalan.

nesf

Bah, can't believe I missed this one...

Raising two kids through Irish and English.

The first spoke almost all Irish until he was 3 with me and then switched to using only English. He only ever speaks Irish to his mother. He will code switch though when necessary (i.e. if he knows a word for something in language A but doesn't know it in language B, he'll use the A word when speaking in language

Our second, who is now two, is extremely exact and will only speak English to me and Irish to my wife regardless of what language we tell her to do something in. She's mimicing her brother's actions.


The ideal is for one parent to speak language A all the time and the other parent to speak language B all the time but from experience I can tell you that they're like sponges and you do not need to be a perfectionist about it. The only issue for us is that our son favours English when speaking to anyone outside of the family, even if the person is speaking Irish to him. English seems to be his "outside" language due to it being generally spoken everywhere he goes.

They'll have good idiomatic language for both languages though so long as they are exposed to enough good idiomatic sources for both languages. So that means with the minority language (i.e. the language that isn't always on TV/spoken in school etc) they need to be exposed to books, TV shows and so on and most importantly people who'll speak the language fluently with them.

When they're older, the internet and sites in the minority language and especially forums in that language will prove invaluable as well.

perri winkles

Hey op,

My cousins were born and raised in Spain to an Irish mother and Spanish father. They still live there and my aunt always spoke english and the father spike Spanish. They are all in their 20s and are all fluent. It's hilarious because they have a really noticeable Irish lilt when they speak English
YOu wouldn't know they were spanish when they speak English.

Their mum spoke english only to them and they spoke Spanish back to her. However they did come back 'home' to Ireland at least twice a year and we used to write letters to each other. The only problem they ever had was with grammar while writing english.

All DVDs were in English so they were always exposed to it, it sounds like you're doing everything right. I would say to try expose him to people who only speak English so he has to speak English back instead of Spanish.

Moonbeam

My 3 year old will understand you in Irish and reply to you in english,and apparently this is normal up until about 5/6.
She will sing her songs in irish and recognises other people speaking irish.
She was a very early speaker and having 2 languages never impacted that but she used to mix the languages a bit more then she does now.

galah

still early days for us as baby is only 12 weeks old, but a question for the parents who speak the 'minority' language - how do you handle the 'outside' world if you speak your language to your child?

I've started speaking German to our little one, but speak English to my husband and everywhere else - will our kid not be confused by that fact? I also feel weird speaking German when there's people about that do not understand it - it feels rude, even if I just say silly things to baby that have no relevance to anyone else...but if I switch to English in the company of others, it defeats the purpose of 'one parent one language'.

how did ye handle that?

beazee

galah wrote: »

how do you handle the 'outside' world if you speak your language to your child?

If it is only between two of us, son and me (come over, dress up, watch for the cars, come for a dinner, would you like something to eat, i'll get you a shower) - then it's in the minority language. Don't care other ears listening.

If it is between son, me and other English speaker (say in the preschool, discussing how did the day went, how was his behavior) then must be English.
Even if he's offered a lollipop in English - kind manner says the discussion must be followed in English.

But at home, even having guests, all commands are in Polish with some of them translated to English for our guest as a kind manner.

nesf

galah wrote: »

still early days for us as baby is only 12 weeks old, but a question for the parents who speak the 'minority' language - how do you handle the 'outside' world if you speak your language to your child?

I've started speaking German to our little one, but speak English to my husband and everywhere else - will our kid not be confused by that fact? I also feel weird speaking German when there's people about that do not understand it - it feels rude, even if I just say silly things to baby that have no relevance to anyone else...but if I switch to English in the company of others, it defeats the purpose of 'one parent one language'.

how did ye handle that?

We've had no problems with my wife speaking English to me and Irish to the kids. If myself and my wife are having a conversation in English and one of the kids wants to join in, they'll speak English if directing it at me and Irish if directing it at my wife. They don't default to the language being spoken in the conversation but default to the language used by them and the parent in conversation.

One parent, one language is about your communication with the child, not necessarily your communication in front of the child. E.g. if my parents are over my wife will speak English to them but if she says something directly to the children it'll be in Irish and our kids use the same breakdown depending on who they want to speak to. Actually I'm not sure I've ever heard my wife speak in English to our children except when she was translating a term from English.

t-ha

Hi Nesf, I'm expecting a little girl in November. Mother is German, and we live in Germany. My Irish is typical of someone who did ok in school, went to Irish college for a few summers etc., i.e. passable but my German is already a lot better! Nevertheless, I'm determined that she will have the opportunity to at least hear and be somewhat familiar with Irish. I was thinking that TG4 cartoons and so on will be a great help, but any recommendations for toys, DVDs etc. would be great?!

nesf

t-ha wrote: »

Hi Nesf, I'm expecting a little girl in November. Mother is German, and we live in Germany. My Irish is typical of someone who did ok in school, went to Irish college for a few summers etc., i.e. passable but my German is already a lot better! Nevertheless, I'm determined that she will have the opportunity to at least hear and be somewhat familiar with Irish. I was thinking that TG4 cartoons and so on will be a great help, but any recommendations for toys, DVDs etc. would be great?!

TG4 stuff is probably your best bet.

The children's section here has a *lot* of stuff: http://www.litriocht.com/shop/index.php?cPath=59_60&&page=1

xiwang

This obviously doesn't work everywhere in Germany, but I have seen Irish Dancing being offered in a lot of German towns, even small ones. If you are in a city you are most likely in luck. I know dancing and talking are two different things, but at least from the Munich groups I know this is where the children of Irish people meet and more often than not they get to speak Irish there, and sometimes you can even get Irish-language instruction for the dancing.

Might not be useful for now, but something to keep an eye out for when the little one gets older, even if you are not a fan of the dancing itself it can be a great place to meet other kids who get to learn the same language. Maybe you can put a small poster out in the local Irish pub to arrange an Irish-language book club or reading night. Just a few ideas, there is so many Irish people in Germany it is ridiculous.

A different question, would you start talking to the bump in both languages or not talk to the bump at all and then shower the kid in two languages after birth? Am thinking of reading to my bump, lol.

Moonbeam

t-ha wrote: »

Hi Nesf, I'm expecting a little girl in November. Mother is German, and we live in Germany. My Irish is typical of someone who did ok in school, went to Irish college for a few summers etc., i.e. passable but my German is already a lot better! Nevertheless, I'm determined that she will have the opportunity to at least hear and be somewhat familiar with Irish. I was thinking that TG4 cartoons and so on will be a great help, but any recommendations for toys, DVDs etc. would be great?![/]

Babog bear is lovely.
You can get picture and sticker books that help too but generally just using the basics with them constantly works wonders.
My 3 year old has pretty good Irish for her age and my 1 year old can understand it but has few words.

ronjo

We have a daughter who is 2 in September.

I live in Slovakia and my wife speaks to her in Slovak and I speak in English.
She has more Slovak words then English but understands us both fully.
I do try and get her to repeat the words in English when she says them in Slovak but I dont push it too much.

My wifes parents speak to her in German and she understands a lot of that too and has a few words.
I thought at the start it would be too much for her but she is lapping it all up.

Xdancer

I'm Irish, my partner is French and we live in Spain. Our baby girl is 7 months old, and we are trying to teach her the 2 languages simultaneously. My partner grew up in Ireland hence we generally speak English at home, but he does read to our daughter in French and sings French songs to her. Our friends and neighbours speak to her in Spanish.
It's too early to tell whether or not we will be successful in our attempts to bring her up trilingual, but hopefully we will.

thepieman12345

I grew up with 3 languages. I spoke english to my mother and swedish with my father, and german with kids at school because when i was younger i lived in germany. When i was in ireland i was always embarrassed to speak german because no one else really spoke it that much, but i would imagine many would grow out of that as i did and a few others i know that were similar did the same, i wouldnt worry, being bilingual is a clear advantage especially in a country where it is not very common.

ronjo

thepieman12345 wrote: »

I grew up with 3 languages. I spoke english to my mother and swedish with my father, and german with kids at school because when i was younger i lived in germany. When i was in ireland i was always embarrassed to speak german because no one else really spoke it that much, but i would imagine many would grow out of that as i did and a few others i know that were similar did the same, i wouldnt worry, being bilingual is a clear advantage especially in a country where it is not very common.

How did it feel speaking 3 languages?
Did you get confused much can you remember?

If my daughter sees a ball she will point and say it in either Slovak or English but many things just Slovak. However, she will call a strawberry in German always.

Boom_Bap

My ball and chain is German, so we speak both English and German to our kids. The eldest is nearly 4 and generally speaks English with me and German with his mother and can drift between both at will. He also generally knows who to speak each language with.
We were very strict at first that I didn't talk German to him, firstly because my pronunciation and knowledge of the language is lacking and secondly so that he knows there is a clear distinction.
We keep German and English books and movies around the house, and we also have German TV as well and he generally will put on what he wants and the switching of language is no problem.

The one negative of this is that his general vocabulary in both languages is not so good and he is slower than other children his age at forming sentences and general chit chat. But we knew this would be the case from the beginning and know it will sort itself out over time.

The youngest is 1 and a half and is responding to both languages so far. Again, we are being strict in that I only speak English to her and th emissus speaks only German.

The Corinthian

Boom_Bap wrote: »

The one negative of this is that his general vocabulary in both languages is not so good and he is slower than other children his age at forming sentences and general chit chat. But we knew this would be the case from the beginning and know it will sort itself out over time.

I suffered from this also when very young, but it does sort itself out quite quickly - indeed, for me even before my teens.

Where your learning may be split between two languages, as time goes on, you begin to draw from both, finding equivalents and also because the (Indo-European) two languages will draw from each other, have a better and more complex understanding of them - telling a primary teacher, at age nine, that another boy hit me and I had "just reciprocated" got quite a reaction, if memory serves me correctly.

uck51js9zml2yt

ronjo wrote: »

We have a daughter who is 2 in September.

I live in Slovakia and my wife speaks to her in Slovak and I speak in English.
She has more Slovak words then English but understands us both fully.
I do try and get her to repeat the words in English when she says them in Slovak but I don't push it too much.

My wifes parents speak to her in German and she understands a lot of that too and has a few words.
I thought at the start it would be too much for her but she is lapping it all up.

My wife is Slovak but we live in Ireland.
Our son has exposure to both languages. He's 22 months and just starting to say some unpronounceable words.My wife speaks Slovak but he has more exposure in the house to english. She tells me he also speaks some slovak but neviem(I don't know):D

We are also playing with the idea of getting him into an Irish School when he gets to that age.

Were in SK are you ?My in laws would love us to move over but language and jobs are a problem for me. They are near Liptovsky Mikulas in the north.

ronjo

Sunny Tasty Fencer wrote: »

My wife is Slovak but we live in Ireland.
Our son has exposure to both languages. He's 22 months and just starting to say some unpronounceable words.My wife speaks Slovak but he has more exposure in the house to english. She tells me he also speaks some slovak but neviem(I don't know):D

We are also playing with the idea of getting him into an Irish School when he gets to that age.

Were in SK are you ?My in laws would love us to move over but language and jobs are a problem for me. They are near Liptovsky Mikulas in the north.

We are in Bratislava and there is a small but decent enough ex pat community here and a few Irish/Slovak kids.
I know Liptovsky Mikulas.. Its very nice up there but I can imagine getting a job would not be so easy.

Yes, some of the words are difficult to pronounce but she is giving it a good go.

Chucken

My nieces partner is from Moldova and they live in London.
Momma speaks Irish and English to their 5 year old and Poppa speaks Russian.
It's just the cutest thing to hear her speak Irish and Russian in a London accent
She uses it to her advantage now, she's very capable of mumbling under her breath in Russian when Momma doesnt give in to her and vice versa.

thepieman12345

ronjo wrote: »

thepieman12345 wrote: »

I grew up with 3 languages. I spoke english to my mother and swedish with my father, and german with kids at school because when i was younger i lived in germany. When i was in ireland i was always embarrassed to speak german because no one else really spoke it that much, but i would imagine many would grow out of that as i did and a few others i know that were similar did the same, i wouldnt worry, being bilingual is a clear advantage especially in a country where it is not very common.

How did it feel speaking 3 languages?
Did you get confused much can you remember?

If my daughter sees a ball she will point and say it in either Slovak or English but many things just Slovak. However, she will call a strawberry in German always.

I found when i was younger i would need to keep to one language at a time, that was around the age of 5 or so. But i noticed when i got to an age with a better command of languages i would be able to keep conversations in all those languages at the same time, or i could switch almost instantly, its all practice really in my opinion. Children are also like sponges with information and languages, if theres anyone capable of learning an extra language it would be a child.

uck51js9zml2yt

I have friends working and living in mozambique.
Their kids who were reared out there speak English, Irish, Portuguese and the local dialect of Shona fluently.