Tuesday 'Uns

MonkieSocks

A young doctor had moved out to a small rural community to replace the retiring country doctor.

The older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his house calls so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complained, "I've been a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor said, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit.

Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that doesn't do the trick?"

As they left, the younger doctor said, "You didn't even examine that woman.

How did you arrive at your diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there?

When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half-dozen banana peels in the trash.

That was what was probably making her sick."

"Huh!," the younger doctor exclaimed, "pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman.

She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did.

"I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much work for the church," the younger doctor told her.

"Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.

As they left, the elder doc said,

"Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it so fast?"

"Well, just as you did at the last house,

I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it,

I noticed the Priest under the bed."

____________________________


A young boy, about nine, opened the door.

'Is your Dad home'? the farmer asked.

'Sorry mate, he isn't' the boy replied. 'He went into town.'

'Well,' said the farmer, 'Is your mum here'?

'No, sir, she's not here either. She went into town with Dad.'

'How about your brother, Robbo? Is he here'?

'He went with Mum and Dad.'

The farmer stood there for a few minutes,

shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.

'Is there anything I can do for ya'? the boy asked politely.

'I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one.

Or maybe, I could take a message for Dad.'

'Well,' said the farmer uncomfortably,

'I really wanted to talk to your Dad.

It's about your brother Robbo getting my daughter pregnant.'

The boy considered for a moment.

'You would have to talk to Dad about that,' he finally conceded.

'If it helps you any,

I know that Dad charges $200 for the bull and $150 for the pig,

but I really don't know how much he gets for Robbo.'

byrner88

Good uns . nice and early for thursday

byrner88

Rangers are on the brink of collapse, the iron lady is on her way out and now Ian Paisley in hospital with a suspected heart attack. Looks like the treble is on!

patmac

byrner88 wrote: »

Rangers are on the brink of collapse, the iron lady is on her way out and now Ian Paisley in hospital with a suspected heart attack. Looks like the treble is on!

Was thinking about doing another treble on three going down, Wigan Athletic, John Terry and Harry Redknapp.